Landon: FBI Special Agent: FBI Brotherhood Book #3

by Ann, Bry

  I chuck his shirt at him. His eyes darken and he stands taller as he grabs the shirt out of the air and throws it on.

  “One of us has to.”

  “The fuck is that supposed to mean?” I hiss, stepping closer.

  “Do you know Evie hasn’t been cooperating with her team? They’ll be calling you in the next few days to inform you that they may take her to the hospital for an EKG. So if you wanna punch me, go ahead, but I don’t think it’s me you’re pissed at.”

  I think my heart stops beating.

  “I-I didn’t know this, any of this.”

  “Well, now you do.” Carson shoves a boxing glove into my chest. “Do something about it.”And he leaves. And I box, my brain a swirling mix of my baby sister dying and Essie admitting something she liked.

  Silence. The one thing I can’t give her.

  Chapter Eleven

  Landon

  My mind’s not here today. My mind’s with Evie and what Carson told me last night. Not only that, but I have to report to Collin after this meeting and I have a whole lot of nothing to give him except for the fact that Essie likes silence.

  I feel heavy, and that’s unlike me. I wonder what my mom would say about all this.

  No, I already know. She’d tell me to buck up and smile and to be there for my sister or she’ll kick my scrawny ass. Yes. That is exactly what she’d say. I got my genes from somewhere. Dad, on the other hand, would think everything over. He’d think it over, sit me down, and have a serious talk with me about it. Weigh our options.

  I’ll never know what he would have said. Anyway…

  I push open Essie’s door. I don’t really greet her this time. I just take a seat. I don’t even realize how cold my entrance is until Essie’s eyes land on me.

  “Did you tell?”

  My head snaps up, eyes fucking wide and awake.

  “What?”

  Her eyes roll. Her hands fist. And she shakes.

  “Did you tell that I sometimes…”

  “Understand,” I finish for her.

  She nods, fury pouring out of her eyes.

  “No, Essie, I haven’t mentioned it yet.”

  “Yet.”

  I see it before it happens. Her eyes lose their rage, her body loosens, and she doesn’t look at me anymore.

  I'm losing her.

  “Essie!” I yell, a little desperately. “Don’t leave me yet. Soon, not yet.”

  Her entire body jolts.

  “Soon, I promise. Why did you ask me that?”

  Her fisted hands go to her head again. Her eyes squeeze shut and open a little crazily.

  “Essie, you’re safe, sweetheart. You’re safe here. You don’t have to trust me, I just want to know why you asked me that.”

  The magic words. Her blinking evens out and she turns her head my way.

  “I don’t want you to tell th-them.”

  “Why not, Essie? We all just want to help you.”

  I lose her. Her eyes go hazy. She flops back on the mattress and stares up at the ceiling.

  “I hear you, sweetheart. I hear you.”

  Glancing back at the window and the chair over there, I make an executive decision.

  “Essie, I'm gonna touch you. Is that okay?”

  “Fucking ducks and…” she goes on, but I won’t humiliate her by explaining further.

  I pray to God I'm making the right choice here. I approach her slowly, being extra careful and talking the whole way.

  “‘Kay, babe, I'm gonna lift you up here.”

  Using one hand, I loop my arm around her back, using the other to grab her feeding machine.

  “Let me show you something, sweetheart.”

  Putting my muscles to the test, I take her feeding tube and help her walk across the floor, basically dragging her as she mutters about ducks the whole way. I'm just thankful I didn’t do more damage to her psyche by touching her.

  With a grunt, I set Essie in the chair by the window and drag the feeding tube machine next to her.

  “Here ya go, Essie.” I try to catch my breath. “Look at that view while I'm away. I have to get out of here a bit early today.”

  “No sirens, no sirens, no sirens…”

  Ignoring that, I crouch down to her level.

  “I won’t tell anyone until you let me, Essie Taylor. You can trust me.”

  With one final look, I exit the room and tell the nearest staff member to check on her. I don’t know why I promised Essie that. That goes against everything we do as a team. This is a job, but it’s not just a job. It’s more than that.

  Supervisory Special Agent Collin Fox definitely won’t see it that way, though. I'm screwed.

  * * *

  My fingers rap on the wood of the visiting room at Evie’s treatment center. The meeting with Collin was boring, since I lied. I just can’t push aside the way she spoke to me for real, so furious, but present. When she thought I was gonna tell, I lost her. I can’t lose her. Short-term loss for long-term gain.

  “Landon!” Evie squeals from across the room.

  She has a feeding tube in and is in a wheelchair. Fuck, I need a drink for this.

  “Evie,” I greet, admittedly flat with a cock of my head.

  She tenses, nibbling on her lower lip as she’s rolled across to meet me.

  “You’re mad at me,” she whispers.

  “Evie, what do you—”

  “Is that why you’re not coming to see me?” she cuts me off in a whisper, breaking my heart.

  “Evie…” I slide my hands across the table and grab hers. “Nothing you could ever do warrants me not coming to see you. That’s just me being a shitty brother. You know why I'm not happy.”

  “They want me to be fat,” she blurts. “Just ‘cause I had anorexia doesn’t mean I have to be obese.”

  “Have anorexia,” I correct her, staring at her protruding collarbones. Fuck, are these people even feeding her outside the tube? She seems skinnier than the last time I saw her.

  She rolls her eyes.

  “Don’t roll your eyes at me, Evie! I can’t lose you, too! I can’t fucking lose you, sis!”

  Her eyes well with tears and they spill over.

  “You won’t. There are people so much worse than me.”

  “Agh!” I yank my hands from hers. “You have a heart murmur! They called me, Evie. You have a fucking heart murmur! You’re in a wheelchair. You already had osteoporosis, even before this!”

  “I— Why does it always have to be about food with you?! Why can’t you just love me for me? I just want you to love me but you don’t unless I'm cramming food down my throat! If I weighed 600 pounds, would you love me then?”

  “Evie, how could you say that?”

  “‘Cause it’s true! Once Mom and Dad died, all you wanted me to do was eat. Eat, eat, eat. I just wanted you to read me stories like Mom did,” she sniffles, “but you wanted me to eat dinner. Then snack. It’s always about food!”

  “Because you wouldn’t eat! There are no stories, nobody for me to love if you die! I—”

  A hand lands on my shoulder, cutting me off. I leap from my seat, FBI instincts in place, just to see that it’s—

  “Carson,” Evie breathes.

  “The fuck!”

  All the anger I’ve been suppressing because of Evie’s condition boils over in that instant. I push to my feet and shove at Carson’s chest.

  “Quit creeping on my fucking sister, Carson, or we’ll have issues!”

  “You need to—”

  “Don’t tell me to relax!”

  “Hey!” Evie yells. “Be nice to him. He visits me more than you do and rarely mentions food!”

  “Well, good for him. He doesn’t have to be your Goddamn parent!”

  I regret the words as soon as I’ve said them. I regret them even before I see the crushed look on my sister’s face.

  “Evie, I didn’t—”

  “Go home, Landon.”

  Evie wheels herself away from me.
/>
  “Carson, I’ll see you tomorrow,” she whispers, looking up at him with big, hopeful blue eyes.

  I can tell Carson feels awkward. He’s shuffling on his feet, but mumbles a yes. Evie rolls away without another word to me.

  “Landon, I—”

  “We’ll talk later. Let me go before I say shit I’ll regret.”

  Carson nods. I'm already on my way out the door with a text sent out to Kyle. I need a drink. I need to get fucked. I need help.

  * * *

  Kyle winces when I finish recalling the details of my day, only leaving out the parts where Essie speaks.

  “Shit, Landon, you said that to Evie.”

  “I just lost it. I didn’t mean it. You know I didn’t mean it,” I whisper, almost meekly.

  “Yeah, I know, but it’s gonna take a while to convince her.”

  I slam my hand on the table. “I know.”

  “You think this case is getting to you more than you realize?”

  I pop up. “What?”

  “It can’t be easy seeing a woman who was once the winner of Genius Children lose her mind, day in day out.”

  “I guess I don’t think of how she was before. Just how she is now. It helps.”

  Kyle nods, waiting for me to continue.

  “I guess it bothers me. I just wish she knew I didn’t have any ulterior motives, man.”

  I slam the rest of my beer.

  “Anyway, I don’t want your input. I just want to forget this. Your turn?”

  I extend my hand dramatically.

  He shrugs. “Not as bad as yours. Just trying to get information out of a stubborn as fuck nurse.”

  I cock an eyebrow. He snaps his fingers for a shot and downs it.

  “Sounds like your type of woman. Is she under your skin yet?”

  He levels me with a look that would scare any other man.

  “She’s not under my fucking skin,” he growls.

  She’s under his skin. Ohh, fun. I’ll save it for later, though.

  I push to my feet and search the room. There we go. In the middle of the dance floor is some chick dancing her fucking heart out. I love unbridled confidence in a woman. Smirking at Kyle, I cross the floor.

  This should help me deal with shit. For the night, at least.

  Chapter Twelve

  Landon

  As soon as I enter Essie’s luxury psych ward the next day, Edna flies at me.

  “What did you do?”

  I immediately start to panic. Fuck, I screwed Essie up further. Fuck, fuck, fuck… I pause when Edna actually tears up.

  “Essie ate all her meals yesterday! All three of them, Landon. Agent Landon, sorry.”

  She blushes, and I laugh.

  “You’re fine.”

  I look at the tiny woman in front of me and, like I do with every woman now, wonder if she has a fucking eating disorder.

  So out of place, Landon Parker.

  Shaking my head, I tell her I’ll continue doing what I'm doing and go back to Essie’s room. As soon as I shut the door and she’s sure I'm alone, she sits up.

  “Why did you do that?”

  “Do what?” I sigh, leaning against the wall with my arms crossed over my chest.

  “Put me in that chair!”

  I force myself to be gentler when I hear the panic in her voice.

  “I thought you may like the view. I haven’t seen you get out of bed yet. I was just trying to help.”

  “Hmm.” Her lips zip shut.

  “Stay with me, Essie Taylor,” I whisper quietly. “Tell me why I anger you.”

  I smirk, can’t help it. She catches it, too. Her scowl deepens.

  “I’ve never met a more annoying person. A more, a more…” she huffs. “Why do you come here?”

  I pause. I have to be careful here.

  “Would you rather I didn't come? I heard you’ve been eating.”

  Her hands fist and go to her head. “I shouldn’t,” she says so quietly I almost don’t hear her.

  My training flies out the window. I step forward on instinct.

  “Why do you feel you shouldn’t be eating?” I ask way too fast.

  A tear falls from her cheek… and I lose her. She curls up, stares blankly at the wall in front of her, and talks quietly about elephants.

  “Fuck! Fuck.”

  I plop down in my usual seat and put my head in my hands. I'm gonna have to spend the day here, trying to get something out of her. Or out of her rambling. I don’t know. I don’t mean for them to, and it’s frickin’ embarrassing, but a few tears leak out onto my palms. I wipe them away and lean back, staring at the ceiling, too, committing myself to listening more to Essie’s rambling. I need to see if I can gather something from them.

  But, of course, now she’s quiet.

  Two hours pass with nothing. My eyes are fluttering open and closed. My thoughts keep drifting to Evie and how the hell I can fix what I did.

  That’s when I feel it.

  Big green eyes. On me.

  I glance up and smile a bit.

  “Are you back with me?”

  “Seems like it,” she mutters.

  I sit up, happier now. “You’re makin’ my day, darlin’.”

  She rolls her eyes. “I'm positively delightful, I’m sure.”

  “Are you always this bitter?”

  “Are you always this optimistic?”

  I throw my head back and laugh. “No, definitely not. You should see me when I go out drinking. I bitch like a woman, no offense.”

  “None taken.” She cocks her head. “Most men fuck when they’re drunk.”

  She shrugs casually.

  “Maybe it’s an FBI thing not to.”

  I freeze, feeling oddly guilty about my hookup last night.

  “Yeah,” I murmur.

  She laughs, low and bitter. “You’re lying. You do fuck around when you’re drunk.”

  “This is inappropriate. I’d rather change the subject.”

  “That’s rich, coming from you. Are you not here to discuss who I’ve been fucking?”

  It’s not fucking, it’s rape. And somewhere in there, she knows that, ‘cause her eyes go hazy and distant.

  “I'm here to see you. That’s all.” For now.

  “Sure, and I'm a virgin. Go home.”

  She rolls onto her side, but she’s not checked out, just angry and emotionally tired.

  “What can I do today that would make you happy?”

  “Leave,” she answers without skipping a beat.

  Okayyyy…

  “If you go look out the window all by yourself, I’ll leave.”

  Her gaze snaps to mine. “Why?”

  I just smile. “That’s the condition, take it or leave it. I'm happy to stay.”

  She thinks on it, growing more furious by the second. She shoves to her feet. What she doesn’t expect is how weak she is from her time in hospitals and all the trauma catching up to her. Her legs wobble like a baby doe, and thank God the feeding tube cord is long, because she goes down before I can catch her.

  “Essie!”

  I run over. She’s too frail to fall like that.

  “Essie, you okay?”

  Her eyes snap to mine, blazing with now familiar hatred.

  “It’s Tammy.” ... and I lose her.

  She starts making siren sounds, but in a voice different from her own. I ignore it and check her over. She’s okay, physically, at least.

  Giving her a proper warning, I drag her and her feeding tube over to the chair. When I get her there, I duck down so we’re once again at eye level.

  “I’ll leave, baby doll, and just so you know, I haven’t told anyone your secret. Not yet. Not ‘til you’re ready.”

  … which is hopefully soon or I'm gonna be without a job.

  * * *

  Collin: We need you at the office now. Brad has updates.

  Sorry, Evie. Shit.

  I pull my car to the left, cutting off a dude to get on the off ram
p. Sorry, random dude, asshole move, I know.

  On my way to the bureau, I dial Evie’s treatment center.

  “Birchwood Eating Disorder Recovery Center, this is Amanda speaking.”

  “Hi, Amanda, this is Landon, Evie’s brother.”

  “Hi, how can I help you today?”

  “I know this is frowned upon, but I was wondering if I could talk to Evie.”

  “I'm sorry, sir, but Evie hasn’t earned phone privileges yet.”

  “I'm aware,” I say flatly, “but it’s important.”

  “I really am sorry,” Amanda almost whispers. “Can I pass on a message to her?”

  I sigh and squeeze my nose. They won’t budge on this.

  “Yeah, tell her,” I'm so fucking sorry, “I love her and something came up at work, but I’ll stop by tomorrow.”

  “Of course. I’ll let her know! Thank you for understanding.”

  “Hmm-mm.”

  Ten minutes later, I pull up to the station, all thoughts of Evie drowned out by this case. These are the cases that tug at my now-hardened empathy strings.

  “Landon,” Kyle greets with a nod, leading me to the meeting room.

  “Okay, now that everyone is here,” Brad jumps right in. I glance around the room. Not only is my team here—Collin, Carson, me, and Kyle—there’s also Brad’s team—Brad, Dean, Cooper, Luca, and Shiloh, the chick. She’s a fucking badass to make it this far in the FBI, even in this day and age. Women are at a disadvantage all around, not only physically, but politically, as well. I respect the hell out of her.

  “I’ve had a chance to speak with Sage more in depth. And Nix,” he adds on a grumble.

  My heart lurches. I know I have to steel myself for what I'm about to hear.

  “First off, I know there’s been some concern around Nix being around Sage so much. So, to start, I'm gonna give the floor to Kyle. He’s been watching them to the best of his ability without their knowledge. More specifically, Nix’s knowledge. Kyle.”

  Kyle stands and walks to the front. “I'm gonna make this brief,” his whip-sharp voice cuts across the room, “‘cause this feels like high school gossip to me. I shared the concern with you that Nix, being a criminal himself and the son of a serial killer, shouldn't be around the victim of such a horrific sex crime. However, after watching her with him, I think for now it would cause more damage if we intervened. He’s been actually very instrumental in her speaking and being open to actually getting past this. We’ll watch it, but I say leave ‘em ‘til we have a reason to rip someone else away from her.”