by C. A. Gray
“You almost cut off my arm!” he accused.
“You weren’t in any danger. Stand up and let’s go again.”
Resentfully, he staggered to his feet.
“Close your eyes.”
He did, and I knew his anger would help carry him this time. He moved faster, his hands automatically performing defensive moves. I let him stop my blade easily three times before I disarmed him.
It was probably after midnight when I sank down into my makeshift bed of heather and old blankets in the cave I shared with Alec, just beside Nick’s, Molly’s, and Kate’s. I was exhausted, but the moment my head hit the pillow, I was suddenly wide awake. Images bombarded me: the agents, aiming their weapons at us. Running to the forest, blocking Jean with my body. Brian getting hit. Jacob on the ground, scowling at me and gasping for air. Kate’s lips against mine, warm and salty.
I stopped there, the same image repeating over and over, like my brain was stuck in a loop. I forced it to move on.
The confrontation back at camp. Poker… after all the tension of the day, I was surprised to find that it was a welcome relief to play a game with no apparent purpose other than to try and outsmart the other players, and to laugh with them. I felt closer to all of them after the game than I had before—even Brian.
A few minutes later, Alec snored softly. I closed my eyes.
Chapter 22: Jackson
“Get up,” Alec’s voice cut into my dreams. “It’s time.”
I blinked my eyes open, and noted that it was still dark outside. Judging by the brightness of the moonlight, it was still well before dawn. I felt like I’d hardly slept at all.
Alec’s silhouette rustled about in the darkness, and I could see the glint of metal against the moonlight filtering in through the mouth of the cave as he strapped knives to both his calves. “Molly has breakfast outside their cave,” he told me as he stooped again, fastening a holster around his waist for his semi-automatic.
“Is Kate up too?” I asked, my voice still hoarse with sleep.
“Why, so you can kiss her goodbye?” Alec muttered bitterly.
I swung my legs to the floor, slipping my socks, now riddled with holes, into my boots. Alec’s attitude toward Kate was starting to exasperate me. “Why do you hate her so much?”
A pause. Then, “You wouldn’t understand.”
“How about you try me?”
He didn’t reply. In the silence, I ran through what I knew already: Alec knew her when she was twelve, but he was closer with her roommate. Maggie, I think that’s what they said her name was. Alec and she escaped together, around the same time Kate became brainwashed. Maggie apparently died recently.
Most of this centered around Maggie. So I guessed, “Did you have a thing for her roommate or something? Maggie?”
Alec whirled on me sharply, and even in the dim light from the moon, I could see his eyes narrow. “What did you say?”
Well, there we go. “Never mind,” I said, smoothing my hair down with my fingers.
“No, tell me why you said that! What did she tell you?”
“Kate? Nothing. She didn’t even remember either one of you until last week.”
“Then how did you know that?”
“Lucky guess, I suppose,” I moved away from him, trying to end the conversation. I didn’t really want to get into this right now if it was going to be a big thing, and wished I hadn’t brought it up.
“Then you get why I hate her,” he spat.
I half-turned, my back still facing him. “Not really, no. She didn’t betray Maggie, did she?”
“She was a damn traitor! Rich and famous and gorgeous—while we fought to survive every single day, scraping by, almost starving! It’s one thing for the ‘cattle,’ who never knew any different. But she knew everything, and she chose them! And they rewarded her for it. She’s had everything—because she sold out. She not only believed a lie, she spread it! She indoctrinated people with it! Everything we fought against, that’s what she is. That’s what she symbolizes. And what did we get for our trouble? We’ve been fugitives for our entire adult lives, separated from each other…” He looked away, like he was trying to control his emotion. “And Maggie finally ended up shot before a firing squad. For all I know, I might be too, before this mission is up.”
He’s jealous of her, I realized. He wants her to suffer as much as he has.
I chose my next words carefully. “Molly told me there’s a faction in the caves that thinks it’s better to leave people deceived. They believe they’re happier that way.”
Alec swore and said, “Sure they’re happier, but what the hell does that matter? Is it better to be deceived and be happy than to know the truth?”
“You obviously think so,” I said quietly. “Or you wouldn’t be so jealous of Kate.”
I thought Alec was going to punch me for a second. With effort, I kept my arms at my sides, defenseless. I could still block him if I needed to.
Instead, he swore again, spat on the ground at my feet, and took a step closer to me. His eyes blazed with hatred. “Don’t you ever,” he whispered to me, his voice low and shaking, “say that to me… again.”
“I don’t want to be your enemy,” I returned, careful to keep all inflection out of my voice. “I just think if you’re such a big fan of truth, you ought to be willing to face it yourself.”
Before he had a chance to decide whether he should hit me or not, I turned and walked out of the cave.
I deliberately refused to look back over my shoulder as I left, heading to the bonfire in front of Nick and Molly’s cave. Molly stirred a large pot over the fire, and I pretended that I wasn’t scanning for Kate’s silhouette in the shadows as I approached. I wanted to tell Kate about the conversation with Alec, but I wasn’t sure if she’d want to talk to me at all yet.
Molly looked up at me as I approached and smiled wanly, her face pinched and exhausted. I wondered if she hadn’t slept any more than I had.
“Morning, Jackson,” she sighed heavily.
“Not ‘good morning,’” I noted, giving her a halfhearted smile in response. “Just ‘morning,’ huh?”
She shrugged and looked down at the pot, still stirring.
“I missed most of the debate with the Council and the Crone,” I continued. “I’m surprised this mission is even happening.”
Molly nodded, still not looking at me. “Oh, how can I sum it up for you? The Crone accused Nick of being a traitor and threatened to have us thrown out of the community if he went through with it.”
Traitor. That word is getting thrown around a lot today.
“Almost half of the Council is on her side,” Molly went on, sniffling. “They think the whole thing will endanger our existence. Some of them think you boys already endangered us with the stunt yesterday, and they’re all furious you did it without permission.”
“So why are they letting us go?”
“Because Nick gave a stirring speech that converted the rest of the Council,” she looked up at me with watery eyes, her lips quivering, but still she wore an expression of pride. Her voice changed as she quoted her husband dramatically, “‘Maybe these are the names of two strangers to us—but we, too, were once slated to die at the hand of the Republic. Can we now turn our backs on those who face the same predicament, who will surely die without our intervention? And remember, they may be only two for now, but think what they represent: the possibility of freedom from oppression for all the people in the Republic. What greater calling is there than to set captives free?’” She gave me a weak smile. “Nick should have been a politician in his former life, I swear. He’s damn persuasive when he wants to be.”
“So the Crone was overruled,” I guessed.
Molly nodded. “But she said that if you get into any trouble, no one can go in to help you. And she stipulated four per team at most, so that if you’re all killed—” her voice caught, and she took a moment to steady herself. “
If you’re all killed, we’ll still have some hunters left to feed the tribes here. And if you’re captured and the Potentate decides to make an example of you, you’re on your own.”
I stepped closer and put a hand on Molly’s shoulder. “Nick will be fine,” I told her in a low voice.
“But you don’t know that, do you?” she whispered back. Two tears slipped down her cheeks and traced the curve of her face.
I took the spoon from her hand, leaned it on the edge of the pot, and hugged her. She hesitated for a moment, and then sucked in a noisy breath, hugging me back. I felt her shudder a little as she tried not to sob. She murmured against my shoulder, “Some of the Council members argued that they should let you all go, so that if you’re killed, then at least that’ll be the end of the debate!” She pulled away from me, wiping her nose with her sleeve, and reached for the spoon to resume her stirring.
“You know this is the right thing do to, though,” I told her. “Don’t you?”
Molly started to nod slowly, but I saw another tear slide down her cheek, and then she began to shake her head instead. “If Nick was the one we were rescuing, that’d be one thing. But if he’s the one risking his life…”
I saw a shadow emerge from the cave and looked up hopefully, but it was Nick. He didn’t seem to see me, and walked straight to Molly, who pulled away from me and slid into his arms instead. She opened her eyes and looked at me, her cheek flat against his chest.
“I’m sorry, Jackson. I know you’re risking your life, too. I don’t mean to discount that.”
“We all are, baby,” Nick murmured into her hair. “But it’s for a good cause. You know it’s the right thing. I know you do, deep down.”
They’d probably debated this for hours last night. And for once, apparently it didn’t matter what Molly said—Nick was going in spite of her, and that was that.
Alec and the other hunters approached the fire, and Molly pulled away from Nick with dull eyes, grasping her spoon once more. She filled wooden bowls with heaping mounds of oatmeal and handed them to each hunter one by one. Alec, I noticed, pretended I wasn’t there.
Once we were all served, Nick directed our team to follow him for a pre-mission meeting. Alec, Kenny and I joined him on the outskirts of the forest where Kate and I had been the evening before, and Nick sat on a flat rock with his back to the trees. The three of us circled around him as he unfurled a long piece of paper with a pre-drawn map. Pete took the other group to circle up around a cold fire a few caves away. I saw Jacob glance back at me once, and purse his lips. He looked bleary, like he’d barely slept. I gave him a nod, hoping it came off encouraging.
“All right, now, once we get to the periphery of the control center sweep, the clock starts ticking,” Nick told us. “We’ve gotta get to the bullet train at minimum inside of two hours. After that, they’ll send agents after us—but if we’re moving fast enough, we’ll get away at least that first time. After that, we get off here, here, and here.” He marked the stops on his map with three X’s. “The idea is, the agents will figure out eventually that we’re on the bullet train and will try to track us on there. We get off periodically, linger awhile, and then get back on to throw them off.”
“You think that’ll work?” Kenny asked skeptically.
“If you’ve got a better plan, I’m listening.”
Kenny held up his hands as if to say he meant no offense, and Nick went on.
“Now, this stop,” he marked it with another X, “is our actual destination. By the time we get here, it’s a fair bet we’ll have attracted some agent attention, so probably we’ll need to split up. I’ll be the decoy, convince some of them to go after me. Alec will do the same if he has to. Kenny and Jackson will then be free to complete the mission.” He drew the rest of the map to the factory where Brenda Halfpenny supposedly worked, at the address that Jean had copied down.
“I can be a decoy,” I offered.
Nick shook his head firmly. “No. Decoy is the most dangerous job. I’m the leader, I do the dirty work.”
I glanced at Alec, and he gave me a humorless smile.
“Trust me, I have a lot of experience leading agents on wild goose chases,” he told me stiffly.
So that’s why he referenced the firing squad, I realized. He’s gonna be bait.
“Kenny is the charmer of the four of us, so he’s most likely to get Brenda to trust him,” Nick went on.
Kenny shrugged at me, his dimple showing. “What can I say, no woman’s been able to resist me yet!”
“And Jackson, you’re our best fighter. We want you there to see it through.”
“How do you know that?” I asked in surprise. He’d seen me hunt; not fight.
Nick shrugged. “You told us you took on four agents at once.”
“And lost!” I pointed out.
“You escaped, though, didn’t you? That takes some doing.”
I opened my mouth and closed it again. Nick nodded curtly as if to say he’d proven his point.
“Wait a minute,” I said, looking from Nick to Alec. “If you two are planning to be decoys, that means you’re going to be trying to get them to shoot at you.”
“He’s a swift one,” Alec muttered.
“In that case, you have got to listen to me,” I said, growing urgent now. “Their bullets aren’t real. If you don’t think they’re real, then they can’t kill you—”
Nick cut me off. “Jackson, we’re not brainwashed anymore. Not a single one of us here in the caves. I don’t want to hear any more of this.”
“But this could be the difference between a successful mission and coming back in a body bag—”
“ENOUGH!” roared Nick, and we all froze. “Enough,” he said again, softer this time. “I appreciate your concern, Jackson. But you are mistaken, and I won’t let this issue affect the cohesion of the team. Now. When you and Kenny manage to persuade Brenda to follow you, we rendezvous here,” he drew an X on the map again, a stone’s throw from the bullet train route. “It’s a former filling station, full of graffiti, and there are lots of places to hide. Then we hop on the bullet train and repeat the process, getting off here, here, and here,” he drew three more X’s at false exits, “until we reach the end of the line. From there we expect another fight until we get to the edge of the forest.
“If you must kill any agents,” said Nick, “this is the best time to do it.” He indicated the spot on the map between the last stop for the bullet train and the forest. “Anytime before this, and we might draw even more attention to ourselves as fugitives, rather than just as unregistered citizens. If you do it here, though, we’re almost out anyway, so it’s not as big a deal. Got me?”
The other two nodded, and I just watched Nick’s map in disbelief.
This really is a suicide mission, I realized. If the others didn’t believe the agents’ bullets were blanks… there were so many opportunities for things to go wrong, it was staggering.
The meeting finished, Nick returned to spend the last few minutes with his wife, and Kenny and Alec left too. I sat alone, scraping the bottom of my bowl of oatmeal when I glanced up to see Kate approach.
“I told Molly,” she said without preamble.
“Told her what?” About the kiss?
“That the bullets aren’t real. That the others are still brainwashed, at least a little bit. That you’re not, and you’re trying to convince them of the truth.”
I took a deep breath.
“I did it to cheer her up. I told her that your team was the most likely to survive, because of you.”
I paused. “Did she believe you?”
Kate shook her head. “I think it offended her, actually—the idea that the bullets are all in the other guys’ heads.”
“Yeah,” I murmured, looking away. “That seems to be the consensus.”
She sat down beside me and didn’t say anything at first. Beyond her, Nick stood up and kissed Molly goodbye, and s
he clung to him, weeping. I took that as our cue to leave, and I got to my feet too.
“You’re sure, though?” Kate asked urgently. “That the bullets aren’t real?”
I nodded. “I’m sure. But if they aren’t sure, it won’t do them any good. It’ll be just as if they were.”
She bit her lip. “As long as you’re sure, though.”
Instead of reaching for her hand, I offered mine, like a truce. She took it, and I squeezed. “Take care of Molly,” I said.
Chapter 23: Jackson
It was a Saturday, so there were more people on the streets than I’d seen on my first day in the Republic. Most of them wore rags and looked emaciated and sickly, but there were a few plump and well-dressed citizens every now and then.
These, I understood now, were the ones who worked directly or indirectly for the Potentate in some capacity. He wanted to keep them healthy.
“Blend in, act natural,” Nick told us. “If you see any agents especially, or any government officials, do not make eye contact. But don’t try too hard to avoid eye contact either. Just don’t draw attention to yourself.”
“Right,” Kenny murmured to me, his eyes twinkling. “Don’t look at them, and don’t not look at them. Clear as mud.”
“What was that?” Nick snapped at him.
“Nothing, sir!”
Nick rolled his eyes and turned away, merging with the crowd. The rest of us followed suit. We wore rags like the rest, but because we were plump and well-fed, we didn’t seem to belong to either class.
I ignored Nick’s advice to avoid eye contact and scrutinized each passing face. I couldn’t help it. Although they all looked quite different in some respects, everyone wore the same expression: the muscles in their faces were slack and flaccid, the lips curled in the same soft smile, and the eyes wide and glassy like the eyes of a china doll. I searched for just one with a spark of life.
