“Ooooh. Well that makes more sense.”
“Yeah, so scram. I can’t have you near me right now. I want a clear head when you explain yourself.”
He bobs his head up and down. “Right. Okay. You’re right.”
He takes a seat at the bar and lets out another ragged breath before bringing his hands together. He rests his fingertips under his chin, and it almost looks like he’s praying.
“My mom hasn’t always been the best mom.”
I hop off the counter and head toward the stove, thinking giving him the illusion of privacy while talking will help.
“She’s a stripper—whatever pays the bills, right—but as you can imagine, working in an environment like that doesn’t bring the best people into her life, especially since the town I come from is full of nothing but crime and filth and hungry kids. She’s so…stuck there, and she’s dragging my brother down right along with her. It’s a damn miracle I got out.”
I chop at the sausage with the spatula, still not turning around. “But did you really, Caleb?”
“Huh?”
“Did you really get out? You’ve been so stuck between the two worlds that I don’t think you’ve escaped as much as you think you have.”
I hear his hands hit the countertop, not in an angry way, but more like he’s defeated. “It’s so hard…so much harder than you can imagine.”
“What’s so hard about it?”
“They call, all the fucking time. They want me there—they need me there. They’ve run out of groceries, run out of booze, run out of money and cigarettes and everything else. And me?” He lets out a sardonic laugh. “I’ve about run out of fucks to give.”
This is the first time he’s spoken so freely about his family and it pains me to hear his words, to hear how broken and defeated he sounds. There’s an underlying tone of panic too, and I sense that Caleb feels like he has to be the safety net that keeps his family afloat, forgetting to live his own life in the meantime.
“I threw away my shot at the majors for them.” His voice strains, and I nearly drop my spatula to run to him. “I fucking threw it all away.”
“What happened?”
“My brother owed some deadbeat guy money. He came looking for it, tried roughing him up, and I wasn’t having any of that. The kid’s only sixteen. So, I took care of things.”
“Took care of things?”
“With my fists.”
“Oh,” I say.
“It gets better.” He pulls his lips back in disgust. “The cops were called, and my mom and brother said I provoked the fight.”
I spin around at his words, stunned. “No.”
“Yep.”
“That’s… I-I can’t even find the proper words for how messed up that is.”
Moments of silence pass by. The food sizzles on the hot stove, and I don’t bother to turn my attention back to it.
“Why do you keep going back?”
“My grandma. She lives in the local nursing home.” He slides his eyes my way. “She’s who I go see every Sunday.”
“I thought you went back for your mom and brother?”
“I go back to give them money or whatever it is they want. I meet them at the bus stop because I refuse to go over to their trailer anymore.”
Huh. Interesting…
“And this last time you rushed home?”
His eyes turn to fire in a flash. “My mom called me hysterical in the middle of the night, told me my grandma had fallen, so I rushed there.” He shakes his head, annoyed with himself. “I should have known it was a bullshit call—my mom doesn’t care what happens to my grandma.”
“Bullshit call?”
“Grams was just fine.” He grins. “Nothing can take that old broad down. She’s tough as nails.”
“Then what did your mom want?”
That fire turns to ice, and I can see him stiffen. “Money.”
“After all that, she called you for money?”
“Of course she did. She didn’t think she did anything wrong.”
“She didn’t think…” I let out an irritated growl. I can’t even with this information right now. “Why’d you end up staying longer?”
“Legal stuff. I’m now my grandmother’s sole beneficiary and her only emergency contact. Now I don’t have to deal with my mom or brother anymore.”
I fold my arms over my chest. “And why couldn’t you have explained this to me before?”
He lets out a loud sigh and scrubs his hands over his face. “I’m embarrassed as all get out by my family. My mom would rather be loyal to a drug dealer than her own son. My brother would rather become a drug dealer than finish high school.”
Caleb stares blankly right past me. Watching the tangled web of emotions running over his face is killing me right now. He looks so…desolate.
“I’ve tried. I’ve tried so fucking hard to make things better for them. Hell, I even offered to move them here and away from all that bullshit there, but they don’t want it. They like the way they live. How am I supposed to explain that my family wants that over me? Over stability? It’s sad and painful and so fucking stupid.” He finally looks at me. “I didn’t mean to scare you, and in hindsight, maybe leaving a note like that wasn’t such a smart idea.”
“In hindsight?” My voice pitches on the last syllable. “You think?”
He shrugs sheepishly. “I’m sorry, Zoe. I’m really sorry.”
“What about now, Caleb? What happens now?”
He sits up straighter, his chest puffing out with determination. His eyes harden.
“I’m tired of being their bank, tired of them using me, and I am damn sick of missing out on time with you. I’m done straddling the line. I don’t want their toxicity in my life anymore. I want you.”
“Me?” It comes out a squeak.
Caleb pushes himself off the stool and prowls toward me. His walk is strong, sure, steady.
He cups my face in his hands, tilting my head so I can meet his gaze. He towers over me with serious eyes.
“You, and this apartment. Breakfast and Beats. Mittens. Our grocery trips, the shitty schedules, and the texting. You. I want you.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.”
“Good answer.”
He grins. “I know, huh?”
Caleb presses a quick kiss to my lips and I pull at his shirt, not letting him move.
I make sure he’s looking into my eyes before I speak. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about, you got that? I’m here for you, not to pass judgment on you. We’re a team. Don’t you ever—and I mean ever—leave me like that again. Understood?”
He swallows loudly. “I got it.”
I don’t let him go.
“You know I’m not asking you to give your family up, right? That’s not what I meant about you being between two worlds. It wasn’t me giving you an ultimatum. I’m worried for you, for them, and kind of worried about us and what that could mean for our future.”
“I like it when you say words like our future.”
“Caleb…”
“I know,” he says, pressing his forehead to mine. “But I have to. If I don’t put my foot down and do something about it now, I won’t ever do anything about it and I’ll keep adjusting my life to meet their needs. I can’t and won’t do that. I’m getting ready to graduate college. I have a future to think about. I can’t keep letting them drag me back to my past. I’m doing this for me, for us, and for them.”
“You’re a good man, Caleb.” I push at his chest. “Now make me food. I’m famished and you’re on my shit list.”
“What?”
“Oh yeah, you’re still in trouble.”
“I am?”
“Yep.” I nod. “But you’ll be able to make up for it with lots and lots of nights spent in bed…or on the couch. The kitchen floor, the shower, the table…”
“But we don’t have a table.”
I shrug. “The counter works too.”
“Are you trying to have sex with me, Zoe?”
“Not right now. Right now, you’re going to finish making me breakfast.”
“I thought you were the breakfast queen.”
“Yeah, but it’s part of your punishment.”
He squints at me, not trusting my words. “Okay…”
“Great!” I clap my hands together. “Now strip.”
“Excuse me?”
“Did you fart?”
He falls into a fit of laughter. “I’m going to regret teaching you that, I just know it.”
I snap my fingers. “I don’t see any stripping.”
“Are you being serious?”
“As a fucking heart attack.” I sweep past him and down the hallway. “I’ll be taking my breakfast in bed!”
I hear the click of the burner being turned off and grin.
“Oh, me too,” he promises as his footsteps thunder behind me. “Me too.”
Me: DID YOU SERIOUSLY GHOST ON ME AGAIN?
Me: AFTER SEX?
Me: AGAIN?!?!
Caleb: Yes.
Me: And, pray tell, what is so damn important this time?
Me: Huh?
Me: CALEB! You have two minutes to answer me and then I’m getting up and leaving this bed and and…
Caleb: And what?
Caleb: Nothing? Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Caleb: Now hush.
Me: Caleb!
Caleb: SILENCE!
I fume, but don’t text him back.
It’s not even thirty seconds later when I hear the door open. I listen as Caleb moves around the living room, setting his keys on the table. I hear something land on the counter in the kitchen and then the rustling of a bag.
What the…
Then the familiar thump thump thump of bass blasts through the speakers in the living room.
A grin overtakes my face as the sounds of DMX filter through the apartment.
“There’s the beats…” I mutter.
“I am walking down the hallway!” Caleb shouts. “I am entering the bedroom!”
I laugh at the smartass announcements and am pleasantly surprised when he walks in holding a box of hot, fresh Duck Donuts.
He crawls onto the bed, moving until he’s resting against the pillows and headboard next to me.
“And there’s the breakfast,” I say.
“There’s the breakfast.”
I glare up at him, crossing my arms over my chest, just now realizing I’m only wearing a very thin white shirt. “I thought you had left me again. I woke up in a panic.”
He sets the box of donuts on the bedside table and turns to me. He pulls at my arms until he uncrosses them then leans in close. His hands cup my cheeks and he tilts my face, bringing my eyes to his, making sure I’m paying attention and soaking up every word he’s saying.
“I told you, I’m done running back to them. I’m here now. They don’t have any hold over me anymore. I want this life, with you. I want to be here, to be your boyfriend, your roommate. Just…yours, here, now.”
“Here now,” I echo on a whisper. “With breakfast.”
“And beats,” he insists.
“And beats. You’re something else, Caleb.”
“And you like it.”
I lean into him, my lips hovering over his. “I do. I really, really do.”
Epilogue
Ten months later
“Explain to me again why I’m doing this?”
“Because I’m cute and you adore me.”
“Fuck,” he mutters. “It’s cold as shit out here.”
“Shit is hot.”
“What was that?”
I turn around. “I said shit is hot, like me.”
“Did you just liken yourself to shit?”
“Oh.” My mouth drops open. “Well, whatever. You know what I mean!”
He chuckles. “I d-d-do.”
“Oh my gosh, stop being a big baby. It’s not that bad out here.”
“Says the girl who’s completely bundled up right now.”
“You have a coat on too.”
“A coat, Zoe! A coat! I am wearing nothing but a pair of gold fucking booty shorts under this oh-so-warm coat of mine.”
I grin. “And who’s fault is that?”
He lets out a string of curse words. “Mine. I should have lied, should have said it was the worst damn meal I’d ever had in my entire life.”
“You can’t lie to the ones you love.”
“I’m really starting to question just how much I love you.”
“Because it’s so much more than you imagined, right?”
“Sure, we’ll go with that.” He shivers again. “Seriously, are these doors opening soon or not? My dick is about to fall off.”
“Quit being so dramatic.”
To be fair, we are standing outside in about thirty-five-degree weather and Caleb is only wearing a jacket over his “booty shorts”, but that’s what happens when you bet your girlfriend she can’t cook you a decent meal and she wins said bet.
“I cannot believe you made me dress up as Rocky.”
“Should have asked the terms of the bet before agreeing and shaking on it.”
“Seriously, you are so fucking lucky you’re cute, and can deep-throat.”
I smack at his chest. “Caleb!”
“What!”
“You are such an ass!”
“But you love it.”
“So! Wait, I mean no!”
He waggles his finger at me. “Ah, ah, ah, I heard that. No take-backs.”
“You keep this up and I’m divorcing you.”
“We’re not even married yet.”
I lift a brow at him. “Yet, huh?”
“You’re going to hold me to that, aren’t you?”
“Probably.”
He brings his lips to my ear. “I’m going to marry the shit out of you one day, Zoe. Just wait.”
“Can you guys please stop? This is absolutely disgusting to watch.”
“Yeah. I’m on the verge of vomiting, and I’m so ugly when I vomit.”
“Everyone is ugly when they vomit, Zach,” I tell him.
“Whatever. Just tone it down a notch, huh?” He turns to Delia. “How come you don’t deep-throat me?”
Caleb and I burst into laughter as Delia starts smacking at him. “You are such an—”
“Ass! Say ass, Delia!” I encourage.
“ASS!”
“See?” Caleb says. “I’m not the only one.”
“You’re so annoying.”
He grins down at me. “But you love me.”
I can’t help the smile I return. “But I love you.”
Acknowledgments
To my Marine. Sometimes I cringe when I realize how much you’ve made it into my books. Every hero I write is you in some way. Then I realize how lucky I am, because every hero I write is pretty fucking amazing. Thank you for ten years of pure craziness. You’re my something else, and I wouldn’t change a damn thing about that. I love you.
Mom, you’re my hero. I don’t tell you that enough, but it’s true. Thank you for always believing in me. Thanks for always being there despite the distance, and thanks for loving me unconditionally. That’s my favorite part about you.
C, Stann, Laurie, and Nikki, thank you so much for your notes. Thanks for believing in Caleb and Zoe and for helping me fix that obnoxious FaceTime chapter, and a special shout-out to Stann for “nursing” my book.
As always, my wonderful editor Caitlin with Editing by C. Marie. You push me in the best way possible and I truly feel like my writing has improved because of you. Thank you.
Colleen Hoover, I screenshot all the mean things you say to me. One day I’m going to make a book, and everyone is going to know what an asshole you really are. Kidding…maybe.
My assholes, you know who you are. You’re all the worst but in the best way possible.
I have to give S
ara Ney a big thank you too. She’s always there with her wicked cool accent to answer my random questions or give me advice. You are kind of like the really old big sister with amazing eyebrows I never wanted, but I’ll never admit that again—like, ever. Douchebag.
#soulmate and Dammit Diann, you two…gah, you just do something to me. Thanks for the best Marco Polo adventures ever.
To my family, by blood and by marriage, your support means everything.
Teagan’s Tidbits, we’ve grown so much over the last few months, and I can’t believe how much I’ve come to rely on you all. You’re my rock, my happy place, my special people. Thanks for always being there to participate in my stupid live videos, to creep on the Marine, and to put up with my pizza obsession. It really does mean a lot to me that I have a place where I can just be me and feel accepted and loved. You guys give me that. So, thanks. Okay, enough sappy shit. I don’t want Aubrey to think I like her or something.
Readers, thank you for all your support. I cannot believe the enthusiasm that poured in for Delia and Zach when Let’s Get Textual released. It’s still blowing my mind every day. When you guys said you wanted a book for Zoe and Robbie, I panicked because I always knew in my heart that Zoe and Caleb were end game. I was so scared I wasn’t going to be able to deliver what you guys wanted, but if you’ve made it this far and you believe in Zoe and Caleb too, thank you. Thanks for giving me a chance to make you laugh and fall in love with them. I hope you see now why I think they’re such a great pair.
With love and unwavering gratitude,
Teagan
To Teagan’s Tidbits.
Thanks for always being there to brighten my day.
1
Monty
“Ow!”
“Shit. You okay?”
“I’m good, just hit my head on the soap dispenser. Don’t stop.”
Texting (The Complete Series Page 41
