by Janet Albert
"I don't suppose it would do any good if I apologized for the things I said to you the other day?" Miranda posed her question to Jamie's cold back.
Slowly, Jamie turned around. The front of her was just as cold. "No, probably not, but I'd like to hear it just the same. I think you owe me that much."
"I owe you something, so here goes. I'm sorry I listened to those nasty rumors other people were spreading around about you instead of making up my own mind. It was wrong of me and stupid and I'm sorry."
"And?" Jamie asked, folding her arms on her chest.
"Uh...and I assumed you were superficial because you're a fitness trainer, and then I assumed that because you're so sexy and attractive, you must be dating lots of people and sleeping around with everyone."
"Go on." Jamie said, showing no signs of yielding.
"Wait, let me think." Miranda paused. "You never did anything to lead me to believe that those rumors were true. I'm an adult and I should have known better."
"And?" Jamie repeated, her face a blank shield.
"You're enjoying watching me squirm, aren't you?"
"Yeah...quite a lot. So go on."
"And, I saw how uncomfortable you were during that dinner in Venice because I was there and I'm sorry that happened. I would have apologized to you, then, but we weren't alone. I hurt you and I really, really wish you'd forgive me." Not sure what Jamie wanted her to say or do, Miranda's mind was spinning with possibilities. For good measure, she threw in one last thing. "I'm an idiot."
"I know that. And?" Jamie insisted.
"And I'd like to make it up to you?" Miranda could see tiny traces of a smile lifting the corners of Jamie's mouth and a hint of brightness flickering in her eyes. It made her feel better than she'd felt all day.
"Now I'm listening. What did you have in mind?"
Miranda had to do some fast thinking to come up with an appealing offer. "You've been asking me to
dinner and I've been saying no."
"Believe me, I know that only too well. So?"
"So, I'm off the day after tomorrow when we dock in Istanbul and I'm going ashore alone and I'd like it if...I mean, maybe if you're off you can go with me? It wouldn't be dinner but I'd love to treat you to lunch. We had a good time in Athens, didn't we?"
"We did and I will," Jamie said without a moments delay. "Lucky for you, I happen to be off."
"You mean you'll go?" Miranda asked.
"I wouldn't pass up a chance to be with you Miranda, even if you do think so little of me. Call me a fool, but I don't seem to be able to resist you."
"Jamie, I never, ever thought of you as a fool."
"Well, I guess that's one thing in my favor. Are you sure you're brave enough to be seen with the ship's most infamous lesbian?" Jamie grinned.
Miranda winced. "I deserved that. I can't imagine what you must think of me. In fact, I don't think very much of myself right now. You make me...I don't know. I don't recognize myself when I'm with you."
"Maybe that's because you're different with me. Sometimes it's good to be pushed out of your comfort zone. Helps you get unstuck."
Miranda thought for a moment. "More like unglued in my case."
"Again...you said it, not me."
"Someone should say it." She grinned from ear to ear. "Okay, then. Why don't you come to my cabin around eight?" She proceeded to explain how to find it.
Nothing more needed to be said, but Miranda found she was unable to move or tear her eyes from Jamie's intense gaze. In Jamie's eyes she saw curiosity and amusement and something else she couldn't quite read. She's laughing at me, like she knows something I don't know.
"You make me feel off balance, Jamie, and you scare me." "Why would I scare you, Miranda?" Jamie's eyes held on.
"I don't know. You just do."
"That's a shame because you don't scare me, not even a little."
Miranda didn't know how to interpret Jamie's words. What are you keeping from me, Jamie? I see secrets in your face, questions in your eyes. "Just forget I ever said that. I don't even know why I did. I'm probably just being silly."
"Maybe so, but can I ask you a question?"
"Of course you can. What is it?" God, the way she looks at me.
"Have you always been this pretty?"
"I...I'm not that pretty."
"I think you are, especially when you smile."
"Well, thank you. I guess that means I should smile more often."
"I couldn't agree more. We'll have to see what we can do about that."
THE MORNING THEY docked in Istanbul, Miranda opened the door to her cabin and stepped aside to let Jamie enter. Why did the sight of Jamie always make the blood rush in her veins? She was nothing more than a good looking woman dressed in a pair of black jeans, a black tee shirt and a gray linen blazer, but what she did for that simple outfit was nothing short of amazing. How could Jamie walk around looking like she did and still pretend she was no different than anyone else? "You look really good, Jamie."
Jamie's eyes traveled over Miranda from head to toe. "You look rested and fresh, and healthy. I like that shirt on you. It's a good color for your complexion."
"Why thank you." Miranda spun around.
"You're getting better at accepting compliments."
"I've had a lot of practice thanks to you."
"Good, because I'm not finished yet. I like your hair pulled back like that. I haven't seen you wear it that way."
Miranda's skin felt flushed. She could have sworn that Jamie was staring at her mouth. "I'm looking forward to our day."
"Me too." Jamie went farther into Miranda's room, glanced around and whistled softly. "Wow, this isn't like our cabins. This is a private stateroom."
"All the officers have private accommodations, but it embarrasses me to be treated so special. I'm just working here like everyone else." Miranda glanced around at her extra large private accommodations with a queen-sized bed and adjoining sitting room. The lacquered wood, the gold trim, the polished mirrors the beautiful furniture and spotless carpets were all impeccably maintained by the housekeeping staff.
"Why be embarrassed? You deserve it and you earn it. You're the only doctor on the ship and that's a lot of responsibility."
"I suppose you're right." Miranda pointed to the sofa. "Why don't you sit down for a few minutes? We've got plenty of time."
"Okay." Jamie sat on one end of the sofa and patted the cushion next to hers. "Sit by me." When Miranda sat next to her, she said, "You're glowing this morning and you look full of energy. Your workouts seem to be paying off. Are they helping to keep your stress level down?"
"I think they are." Miranda stood up and slowly turned completely around. "My body feels firmer. It hasn't been long, but can you notice any difference?"
"Definitely. You look firmer, but still feminine. I like women with soft curves."
"I do too. Take you for example. I like the way you look. You're fit but it's not overdone. You're just right." Miranda sat on the sofa next to Jamie again, facing her. "What made you want to become a fitness trainer?"
"I'm not sure anyone's ever asked me that. I guess most people figure they already know the answer. They make the usual assumptions--because I'm vain, obsessed with my body, that kind of thing."
"I'm through making assumptions about you."
"Thank God." Jamie rolled her eyes. "Anyway, to answer your question, I wanted to help people feel better about themselves and live healthier lives. I find it rewarding."
"Those are very good reasons. I find helping people rewarding, too. That's one of the major reasons why I decided to become a doctor."
"I have other, more personal reasons. I enjoy working out and I love the way it makes me feel. And, I'd be lying if I said I didn't care about the way I look, because I do."
"You look amazing, you must know that," Miranda said.
"Thanks, but I also want people to see the rest of me, what I am inside."
"I know that and I want you to kn
ow that I see who you are inside and even though I haven't always shown it, I like you. I like you a lot." Warnings exploded in her mind, but for the first time since she'd met Jamie, she extinguished them without giving them another thought. "And I really, really like the way you look."
"Thanks for telling me that," Jamie whispered.
Miranda saw the sadness that darkened Jamie's face. "What's wrong?" She asked with alarm. "Have I said something to upset you?"
"No, it's nothing you said," Jamie lied. "It's just that...never mind, it's nothing."
"Okay, if you're sure." Miranda reached over and squeezed Jamie's hand. "What do you say we get going? I've got a special day planned."
"What are we going to do?" Jamie squeezed Miranda's hand briefly and stood up.
"First, I thought we'd start in the old city. I'm taking you to the Hippodrome and then to the Blue Mosque. It was built by a sultan and it's supposed to be magnificent. After that, I'm taking you to the church of Santa Sophia. It's a museum, now."
"I'm psyched. What else?"
"Hopefully, if we move along, we'll have enough time to see Topkapi Palace. It's the home of the Ottoman Sultans. Disney modeled Sleeping Beauty's castle after it."
"Sounds like a perfect day." Whatever had bothered Jamie seemed to have passed, so Miranda decided not to pursue it any further. She went on to tell Jamie more about her plans for the day. "After that, I thought we'd visit the outdoor markets. They're famous for their onyx and silk and leather and I'd like to see what I can find. I read that you have to bargain with the vendors, though, and if they offer you a cup of tea or some soft drink, you should say yes. It's a sign of hospitality and it doesn't mean you have to buy anything."
"That's good to know," Jamie said. "What about that lunch you promised me? All that activity is bound to make us hungry."
"I did not forget about lunch. I have a place in mind, but you'll have to wait because it's a surprise." Then Miranda added, "You don't mind trying the local food, do you?"
"No, in fact, I'd love to. You know, when in Istanbul..."
Miranda laughed. "Yeah, that's the way I feel. We should probably do lunch after we see the sights and go to the market last, so we won't end up carrying whatever we buy around with us the entire day."
Jamie nodded. "I'd love to find a nice leather jacket, a black one. Something soft and buttery."
"You probably can, I..." Miranda stopped, rendered speechless by a vision of Jamie in a black leather jacket. She saw herself in Jamie's arms and she could almost feel herself rubbing her cheek against the leather. She swallowed. "I can help you look for one."
"You might have to help me with the bargaining
part." "I hate the thought of it, but we'll give it a shot." Jamie stood up. "Okay, why don't we get going?
We're wasting time."
Chapter Eleven
TWO DAYS AND two ports of call later, Miranda sat in her office between the morning and afternoon clinic sessions trying in vain to concentrate on something other than the thoughts of Jamie that crept into her mind any time it wasn't otherwise occupied. Their day in Istanbul had been nothing short of delightful and as she savored the memory of Jamie in her brand new, buttery soft, black leather jacket for the hundredth time, she noticed Lynn standing in the doorway.
"What are you doing?" Lynn asked. "Besides day dreaming."
"Very funny. I'm trying to make a dent in this pile of paper work."
"Good luck." Lynn grimaced. "Morning clinic wasn't bad today."
"No, it wasn't. It's been a good day, so far. Let's hope it stays that way."
"How was your day in Istanbul with Jamie?"
"Great. We had a great time. She's really nice."
"You know what? I feel rotten because of what I said about her." Lynn entered the office and sat on the other side of the desk, facing Miranda. "Sometimes I get carried away and I don't like myself very much when I do things like that. I didn't even know her personally and I shouldn't have been spreading gossip or talking about her like that. I'm ashamed of myself."
"You and me both, Lynn. I guess we got reminded that we're only human."
"But, when I thought about how you'd spent time with her and how you said you liked her and all, I realized that maybe she meant something to you and..."
"Don't worry about it." Miranda gestured for her to stop. "I appreciate what you're saying, but I don't want you to beat yourself up about it. We all make mistakes."
"I know, but I still feel bad." Lynn fidgeted with a note pad on Miranda's desk, twirling it around and around. "I wanted to apologize."
"Apology accepted. Now don't..." Miranda was cut off by her pager and, at the same time, the phone in the clinic started ringing off the wall. "I'll answer this page. You get the phone," she told Lynn.
No more than a few minutes later, Miranda burst through the doors of the fitness center with Lynn and Guy behind her wheeling a stretcher. On the floor near the treadmills, they saw Jamie and one of the other trainers kneeling next to a woman who was sitting on the floor, her back resting against the wall. Miranda hurried over to them.
"Thank God you're here," Jamie said and moved a little to allow Miranda to kneel at the woman's side.
"What's going on?" Miranda asked.
"I was working with her on the treadmill when she started having chest pain," Jamie explained. "I stopped it right away and helped her to the floor. Then we called you."
"You did the right thing." Miranda focused her attention on the woman. "I'm Doctor Ross, the ship's doctor. Are you still having chest pain?" she asked the question even though she could see from the woman's grimace that she was.
The woman nodded.
"Is it just in your chest?"
"I can feel it in my jaw and down this arm." The woman indicated her left arm.
"On a scale of one to ten, how bad would you say it is?"
"An eight." The woman closed her eyes tightly.
One look at the woman told Miranda's trained eyes all she needed to know. All the classic signs of a heart attack were clearly visible. She knew what they had to do, so she started giving orders. "Lynn, check her vital signs and give her two nitro if her blood pressure is okay. Guy, put her on the monitor and start some oxygen."
As soon as Miranda determined that her patient had a stable heart rhythm and her vital signs were within normal range, she told Guy and Lynn, "Okay, let's get her on the stretcher and get her out of here."
The woman looked scared to death, so Miranda took her hand and spoke to her, "We're going to put you on a stretcher and get you down to the infirmary where we can take better care of you. What's your name?"
"Constance, Connie. Connie Miller."
"Okay, Connie. Just try to relax. We'll have you out of here in a couple of minutes. Did the medicine relieve your pain?"
"It's a little better, but it's still there." Connie closed her eyes.
Miranda got out of the way while Guy, Lynn and two male trainers lifted Connie effortlessly onto the stretcher with the oxygen and portable monitor and defibrillator propped on the mattress by her side. Without delay, they wheeled her off.
Miranda looked at Jamie. She could see that she was nervous and she noticed her hands were shaking. She reached out and grasped her shoulder. "You did fine. Go take a break and I'll talk to you later."
"Thanks for getting here so fast," Jamie said. "I've never been happier to see anyone."
Miranda winked at her, smiled and headed straight for the door.
BACK IN THE infirmary, they transferred Connie Miller to the ICU bed and helped her into a patient gown. Working together with polished efficiency, Guy connected her to the bedside monitor and re-connected her oxygen tubing to the wall oxygen, while Lynn got a set of vital signs and started two intravenous lines. From one of the lines, she drew a set of labs and in the other line, she started a slow drip of intravenous fluid to keep the vein open.
Miranda joined them a couple of minutes later and studied the cardiogram Guy
handed her. "How's it going? Where's Lynn?"
"Lynn's running labs. Our patient's vital signs are stable and she's in normal sinus rhythm on the monitor," Guy informed her. "She still has some chest pain, though. About a six, she says."
"Miranda grabbed one of the blank charts stacked on the counter. "I'm going to start writing orders as we go along, Guy. I'll write for Morphine and nitroglycerin. We need to get that pain relieved."
After Miranda finished writing her orders, she went over to talk to Connie. "I need to examine you and ask you some questions and I need you awake, so let's do that before the nurse gives you pain medication." Miranda quickly obtained a medical history and examined her patient. "Now let me explain what's going on. From your cardiogram, it's clear to me that you're having a heart attack. It looks as if you had one in the past, too. Is that true?"
Connie nodded. "I had a small one three years ago. I've been doing okay since then, but this sure hit me hard, all of a sudden."
"That's the way these things happen," Miranda said.
Lynn returned with some lab results and Miranda looked them over. "Okay Connie, here's what we're going to do. We're going to give you some medicine to relieve your pain and we're going to give you another strong medication to dissolve any clots that may be obstructing the blood flow to your heart. Hopefully, that will prevent any further damage to your heart muscle." Miranda reviewed the possible complications from the procedure and got Connie to sign a consent. "Ah, here's Guy with your pain medication."
"Doctor, my partner's on the cruise with me. She was in the gym when all this happened and she must be frantic." Connie opened her mouth so Guy could place the small white nitroglycerin tablet under her tongue. "I'd like to have her here."
While Guy injected the Morphine into Connie's IV line, Miranda got her partner's name and cabin number and said, "We'll call one of the porters and see if someone can find her. In the meantime, I want you to rest. The nurses are going to keep a close eye on you and all you need to do is relax."
