“All right, that’s enough for today,” he instructed, lowering his Silverbore swords until the tips dug into the ground.
Under the impression their time together was over, Diamond’s boots kicked up a plume of dust as she walked away.
“Diamond,” he said softly.
“Yes, commander?” she asked, turning back immediately.
Part of him was nervous to see how she would react to his next words, but he had to get closer to her if he wanted her to trust him.
“There is a room opposite mine in the officers’ quarters of the barracks. You may have three hours off tomorrow morning to move your belongings down here.”
Confusion flittered across her face, and a small frown creased her brow. It was so comical, he had to smile.
“W-what?” she stammered. “Here? Near you?”
“Yes. It’s too far for you to keep going back to the palace. Besides,” he dared to reach out and tuck a strand of silver behind her ear. Wide, violet eyes watched him but she did not flinch away. “You need to rest when we are not training,” he said, eyebrows raised meaningfully. “Jack is becoming a distraction.”
His nostrils flared slightly as he felt an echo of embarrassment through the bonds he shared with her. She didn’t know that he had bitten her, injected venom into her and swallowed her blood to save her life. Taking another’s blood once formed the beginning of a mating bond between fae. He shifted uncomfortably. It meant he could sense some of her emotions, if he delved deep enough. Hugo very rarely allowed himself such glimpses of her heart. It felt wrong without her permission. He swallowed. Now was not the right time to tell her he could feel her emotions and control her mind. Any trust she had in him would be sorely tested by that news. It would have to wait.
Those violet eyes held his and her flush deepened at the mention of Jack. Jealousy bit into him but he curbed it. He did not own her or even deserve her. Yet.
“Yes, commander,” she acquiesced with a nod.
Hugo sheathed his swords and clasped his hands behind his back, suppressing his desire to touch her again. “Good. Be ready to begin training by nine tomorrow,” he said, nodding to a large stone building off to their left. “West quarters. I will make sure the door is unlocked. It’s the first room on the left; mine is opposite.”
Diamond saluted and walked away, but his heart lurched when she looked back over her shoulder and smiled.
Chapter 7
Diamond called a cheery good evening to Kitty and smiled at the sweet, flowery scent that filled the room. Jack plonked himself in the armchair and grinned, amused by her distracted behaviour.
“Are you able to manage tonight, miss?” asked Kitty with a gentle smile.
Diamond, whose head was full of a certain warrior, gave a start. “Err, yes, Kitty. Sorry. We’ll be fine,” she reassured her friend, a little uncomfortable when Kitty glanced meaningfully at Jack, then quickly departed.
Diamond discarded her sweaty, dirt encrusted clothes. Jack watched appreciatively as she threw off her tunic and shirt, followed closely by her boots, socks and leggings. Diamond was beyond feeling embarrassed. She had grown confident in the way she looked over the past weeks; besides, Jack had already seen most of her body.
“By the goddess, Diamond! If you’re going to strip, at least give me time to hide my eyes,” he blustered.
Giggling as he covered his eyes with his hands, fingers apart, she stuck her tongue out at him right before she closed the door to the bathroom.
A satisfied groan escaped her as she slipped into the steaming water. Jack’s cheeky sense of humour and support had helped keep her sane these past weeks. But there was something in his eyes tonight. Worry? Guilt? She wasn’t sure. He had assured her he did not mind spending time with her, though she often felt guilty for keeping him from his responsibilities in the valley.
Diamond scrubbed herself clean with a bar of lemon-scented soap, wondering why Jack didn’t spend time with someone special. It would not be hard for the charming and handsome prince to find a woman to warm his bed. Then she grimaced at her own thoughts. Fighting a war and maintaining authority over his deposed kingdom, not to mention keeping her company, probably didn’t leave much opportunity for anything but the occasional dalliance.
Diamond’s father had always been frank and open about sex, warning her she may be pursued by fae males to mate, especially as she was half fae herself. Her cheeks grew hot. Until Hugo, she had never wanted to share her body with anyone.
You need trust if you are going to give your body to another—fae or human, male or female, it doesn’t matter. And that trust needs to be indestructible if you ever agree to bind yourself to anyone.
Diamond pulled herself from the water, dressed and left the bathing room. She was ready to tell Jack she was moving to the barracks. He would be happy Hugo wanted her closer, but Diamond’s stomach tightened. She would miss Jack and Kitty and Rose terribly.
Seeing that dinner had arrived, she held her news as she tried to eat. It was hopeless.
“Hugo wants me to move into the barracks,” she blurted out suddenly.
Jack pushed away his half-eaten food.
“That’s great, Diamond. Besides, it’s probably for the best,” he replied in a resigned voice.
“Why?” she asked, worried about his lacklustre demeanour.
Jack leaned forward, taking her hands. “You should be with Hugo if things are improving. I also have to go back to the Rift Valley. The storms are making it too dangerous for me to continue traveling as often, and I need to keep control of what’s happening out there.” He rubbed his face with his hands, looking suddenly tired.
Diamond felt dreadful. He had been travelling back and forth to the valley to see her. Selfishly, it hadn’t even occurred to her to tell him to stop.
“To be honest, I have been completely self-serving. These evenings with you and Kitty and Rose have been the most relaxing I’ve experienced in ages. But I have a kingdom in tatters and my responsibilities are in the valley with my army and my people.” He sighed heavily. “There is unrest in the camps. Not only that, but we are running low on supplies, and I am powerless to stop the onslaught of the winter weather. Every day more people seek refuge behind the Rift Valley wall, and Master Commander Riddeon tells me Ragor will arrive with his host well before the Winter Solstice.”
Diamond gasped, realising how much he had to deal with. “I’m so sorry, Jack. I didn’t realise.”
“There’s no reason you should.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?” she asked, sincerely.
“Yes,” he responded, cupping her cheek. “Master your magic, and help me defeat the Wraith Lord. But most of all: forgive Hugo. The ice he wraps around his heart is only protection. Give him a chance to admit to himself—and to you—how he feels. He hasn’t really had much practise at that sort of thing. Even with all his strength, he needs someone to fight for him too.”
Before Diamond could respond, he pulled her into a tight embrace. “I’ll see you soon,” he whispered against her hair before he stood and bid her farewell.
Nightmares left Diamond shaking and drained. As she struggled to ready herself for the day, her heart was heavy with renewed grief for her father. Then how much she was going to miss Kitty and Rose hit her as she walked out of her room to where Rose waited for her in the corridor.
As they approached the door, Rose pulled on her hand, stopping their progress.
“I have to go this way,” she said, indicating the stone flagged corridor that continued towards the healers’ wing of the palace.
“Okay,” Diamond answered, forcing a smile that did not reach her eyes.
“I have spoken with my friend,” Rose whispered. “He has to go to the Rift Valley but he said to tell you he thinks your paths will cross there. If they don’t, he will find you.”
Diamond nodded, too tired and low to question her friend.
Rose kissed her cheek. “Good luck,” she whispered.
>
Outside, the bitter wind whipped and tugged at Diamond’s clothes. Welcoming its stinging touch, she trudged down the gravel path to the barracks.
The door to the west wing stood open. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the gloom. The corridor was clean but very basic with worn wooden floors, plain stone walls and the occasional oil lamp.
Trying the first door on the left, she found it unlocked. Her belongings had been piled in the centre. In the far corner, a single bed was pushed against the wall with a pile of woollen blankets stacked at the end of the bare mattress. A small window above the bed let in a small amount of daylight.
So this is it, she thought glumly.
The only other furniture was an old pine washstand, with a pot basin and jug, standing against the other wall. A small door led into a tiny bathing room; a short bath tub and a flushing water closet squeezed into the cramped space.
Diamond knelt next her trunk. Her fingers brushed the lid of a long white box. She carefully removed the item inside the box. Resting the delicate fabric on her lap, she smiled a little. This creation was the first beautiful dress she had ever owned, sent to her by her unknown benefactor. The stunning garment had floated around her like a star-spangled mist, and for the first time in her life, Diamond had felt beautiful. Reverently, Diamond leaned into the box and touched the precious hair comb, bejewelled with amethyst. Maybe one day she would wear it again.
Diamond gently replaced the dress in the box, not bothering to unpack any other clothes. An age-speckled mirror hung on the opposite wall. Critically, she frowned at her pale, tired reflection and stuck out her tongue. Her hair a mess, she took a moment to plait it before leaving her small room, sparing only a brief glance at the door opposite hers.
Chapter 8
Arriving in the mess hall, Diamond deliberately sat alone. Thoughts of her father filled her head. She shoved her plate away as tears blurred her vision. A heavy energy pushed against her skin. Familiar magic tugged at her chest. A welcome discomfort.
With a resigned sigh and nervous flutter in her belly, she twisted to face Hugo. His hair was loose, the blue steaks catching the light as he inclined his head to the door. Heaving her tired body up, Diamond followed Hugo. She wasn’t in the mood for practice today, but she knew there was no choice.
Wind lashed at them as they stood facing each other. Dust from the dry dirt under their feet blew into her already gritty eyes. Hugo’s sapphire gaze narrowed as he took in her pale, tired face and red-rimmed eyes. It was as if he could read the raw emotions in her mind, see her grief over her father and her confusion over General Edo. Her defiance slipped. For the first time in weeks she dropped her gaze, opting to stare at his scarred boots instead.
Despite hearing his growl, she could not look up. Her stomach knotted at the sound. She had somehow let him down. When Hugo had told her this training might break her, she had promised herself it wouldn’t. Her resolve to prove to him she could become a good warrior had held. But now all she felt was exhaustion. The terrible nightmares of blood and fear and fire had left a hollowness upon her heart, one that had been growing since her father had died.
Her fingers flexed, turning white as she fisted them. Staring at his boots, Diamond missed the narrow-eyed, concerned look Hugo gave her. A few uncomfortable minutes passed before Diamond’s shoulders slumped under the weight of his gaze.
Turbulent energy whipped across the space between them, magic pushing against her as if trying to tunnel inside her skin. Her own magic responded immediately and defensively. Her magic snapped a shield into place, shimmering like a heat wave around them. Diamond gulped as their magic fought for supremacy. Only the shimmering air served as evidence of their silent battle.
Minutes passed. She trembled, her teeth clenched as a tremor tightened her spine. It was exhausting to fight him magically, more exhausting than physical sparring. Abruptly the onslaught vanished, causing her legs to wobble. It was a relief to give up.
“Join your squadron,” Hugo ordered abruptly.
She recovered from her stumble. Dragging her feet, Diamond kept her gaze down on the ground and joined the others. All morning she did everything Tallo and the newly appointed Captain Reese asked of her, but she could not shake the grief that weighed down her soul. Even sparring with Attion changed nothing. She had no fire, no burning desire to prove herself to Hugo or anyone else.
Throughout the morning, Attion’s eyes flicked uneasily from her to Hugo. Diamond never registered that his blows were tempered, almost gentle.
Listlessly, Diamond glanced at Hugo, her stomach clenching at the unfathomable look on his face. She could always pinpoint precisely where he stood, his magic a beacon.
Even Reese, who normally found something amusing to grin at, was subdued. From his position in the squadron, he kept glancing between her and Hugo. When Tallo ordered them to break for lunch, Diamond didn’t even bother trying to eat.
Craving solitude and peace, she sat outside alone, staring at the iron grey clouds whizzing overhead. Soon that familiar play of energy assaulted her senses. She sighed in resignation. Part of her had been waiting for him, wanting him to come.
“What’s wrong with you today?” Hugo asked, his voice not as harsh as she had expected.
She looked at his handsome and scarred face, then exhaled. How do I tell this strong warrior about the grief and exhaustion dragging me down? He had already said he wouldn’t care if this training broke her. She remained quiet, hoping he wouldn’t consider her silence as disrespecting him.
Or maybe that would be for the best, she reflected. Then he might beat her into unconsciousness, and she could sleep with no dreams and no nightmares to plague her. Her eyes closed, almost wishing for the brush of his icy cold anger.
“Get up,” Hugo ordered.
“Why?” she asked, her voice flat and dull.
A snarl bared his teeth. “Because I said so,” he growled, and stalked closer. The harshness of his voice made her wince. “Get. Up!” he ordered again, louder this time.
“No!” she barked, a spark of defiance igniting at his imperious tone. “I’m too tired to fight you. If you must punish me for insubordination, do it here.”
Grabbing her by her tunic, he forced her abruptly to her feet. Dust blew into her sore eyes and mouth.
“So be it,” he said, his voice hard enough to grate on her raw emotions. Letting go of her tunic, he stepped back. Diamond acknowledged there was no way out of this. He bent his thickly muscled legs and leapt. If she hadn’t lunged sideways, he would have slammed into her and crushed her chest. Even as Diamond straightened, her emotions remained dulled. Her shoulders still slumped. She watched as Hugo stood tall and stretched out his glorious wings. Armour clattered across them, the stormy sky unable to dampen their beauty.
“Hugo, please,” she pleaded, willing him to understand her emptiness.
A shadow crossed his rugged features, silver blazing in his eyes for a fraction of a second.
“I can’t do this today,” she whispered, sinking to her knees. From nowhere, hot tears pricked at her eyes.
Staring at her, Hugo stood impossibly still, as if hewn from stone. She looked up imploringly at him and watched his sapphire eyes turn to endless black orbs. Hastily, she dropped her gaze back down to the ground. The same thing had happened in the throne room. She recognised it as a sign he had shut down his heart.
Slowly, he approached. Despite her exhaustion, a shiver of apprehension ran down her spine. Hugo’s steps were silent and deliberate; then she saw his worn, soft leather boots. Wings still outstretched, he squatted down and leaned forward. His voice was harsh in her ear, his breath hot on her wind chilled skin.
“Not today? Are you kidding me? Do you think your enemies will give a shit about how you’re feeling when they come to kill you? Do you think they will care if you’re tired or scared, or that your soul has been ripped in two?” Laughing harshly, he grabbed her head in one big hand, wrapping her hair around his fingers.
A whimper escaped her as he pulled back firmly, forcing her to look at him. A mocking smile curled his lips. “Did you know I had started to believe in you? Believe that you could actually become a warrior and beat an immortal Wraith Lord? That one day you might even best the Queen? Was I wrong?”
Her shoulders tensed and the tears she had been holding back all morning tipped from her eyes.
Hugo raised his brows and snorted. “What’s wrong? Do you think I don’t know what’s really bothering you? I can feel your fear and grief every time our magic touches. There is so much going on with your emotions, it makes me dizzy.”
“You have no idea what’s going on inside my head,” Diamond sputtered.
He raised his brows. “No, not in your head. In here.” And he touched a scarred forefinger just below the swell of her breast, against her heart. “Your deep confusion over your mother, your grief over the murder of your father. General Edo’s death. Even Tom moving on. It’s been building up inside you for weeks. And Jack leaving has clearly broken you.” He cocked his head and waited, expecting her to refute his claims. “You aren’t that fragile young woman who lost her father. Think about how much you have grown and the odds you have beaten to get this far. You need to believe that your father’s death, and even General Edo’s, is not your fault.”
She blinked back tears and stared at his face.
His fingers loosened. “You must learn to control your grief and loss—we all have to. Everyone in your squadron has lost someone they love dearly, people they would gladly give their lives for—their souls for. They will need you to hold it together in a fight. Not just for your sake or for theirs, but for the people who can’t fight for themselves.”
The Goddess and The Guardians Boxset: The Complete Romantic Fantasy Quartet Page 38
