by M. S. Parker
Kendra!
As he moved away, I tried yet again to open my eyes. Eyelids shouldn’t be this heavy.
“Some. Her heart rate and blood pressure are more stable. The doctor thinks…”
His voice became background noise as I struggled harder to open my eyes, to do something.
“Her family is talking about wanting to have her transferred.”
“They can’t do that!” Kendra’s voice rose.
“I know. But they want to be near her as well and they can’t afford…” He sounded so defeated. Resigned that he was going to lose me.
Mama, Daddy, you can’t…
I managed to lift my lids a tiny slit. The light was piercingly bright. With a gasp, I closed my eyes again. Too much, way too much. Darkness washed back up. This time, I didn’t want to go, but I was too tired and I couldn’t stop it.
“Did…Edward, did you hear that?”
***
The next time, I managed to open my eyes all the way.
A rat’s nest of auburn hair rested on the edge of my bed next to my hand. There was an IV in the back of it. I looked at it for a moment, my groggy brain processing. I looked at the hair. It looked like mine.
Jennifer.
I tried to lift my hand to touch her, but it was even heavier than my eyelids had been. I only managed to get it up about an inch, but it was movement enough to wake her.
Her head jerked up and she froze, staring at me with those dark brown eyes that looked so much like Mom’s. Like mine.
Suddenly, she screamed. “You’re awake!”
Moaning at the pain that resounded at the shrill noise, I mumbled, “Do that again and I’ll wish I wasn’t.” My voice sounded funny and I wondered how long it had been since I’d spoken last.
The room was full before I even realized what was going on.
There were nurses and I was being looked over and poked and prodded, but all I wanted was to be with my family. They gathered in the door until the medical staff pushed them out. But finally, the nurses were done, warning us the doctor would be in soon to check me out, and they let my family in.
Edward and Kendra gathered on one side, Jackson on Kendra’s other side, while my parents and Jennifer took up the head of the bed opposite them. My older brother and both older sisters were missing. Again, I wondered how long I’d been out of it. They would’ve had to go back home if it had been more than a couple days. I shifted uncomfortably as everyone stared at me like I’d risen from the dead. Just how bad had it been?
“What…” The words trailed away as all the memories that flickered through my head while I lay trapped in this bed surged to the fore. “A wreck. A truck…it hit us, right?”
Edward nodded. My mom was the one who spoke, though, explaining everything in a surprisingly calm voice. Or, at least calm until she reached the end. “The driver dropped his cellphone. I oughta…” Mom stopped, sucking in a breath. Her dark eyes glittered with fury.
Another memory and the question popped out. “Did you hit Claire?”
Mom’s cheeks colored and she glanced toward Edward. Edward’s face was set in stone. Neither of them responded.
Jennifer didn’t have any such issue. “Damn right she did.” She shot Edward a challenging look. “Claire came charging in here to yell at you while you were trapped in the bed…in a coma…even though the cops had already told everybody the driver of the truck was at fault. Witnesses said he came blasting out of nowhere. Nobody in their right mind would’ve blamed you.”
“Her son is in a coma. He could have permanent injuries,” Edward said stiffly. “She’s not in her right mind.”
Cody. My heart twisted and I felt tears burning against my eyelids. I couldn’t cry though. I knew if I did, everyone else would, and I didn’t want that. I had a feeling enough tears had been shed.
“My daughter was in a coma,” Mom countered. “She could have had permanent injuries and your brother was driving. She was just in the passenger seat. Using your logic, should we all go attack Cody?”
Edward inclined his head and sighed, “Of course not. You’re handling all of this…admirably. I’m not saying my mother reacted well.”
Jackson opened his mouth and I knew it wasn’t to say something nice about Claire.
“Please…” I held up my hand. Even the slight movement, even that single word was taxing. “Just…don’t. Okay?”
Immediately, they went quiet and Edward bent down to kiss my cheek. “I’m sorry, darling.”
As he straightened, Kendra leaned against him. I glanced toward them, my eyes lingering a moment. I was so tired, but I had to ask two things.
“How long?”
“Almost two weeks,” Dad answered. His hand gripped mine almost tight enough to hurt. His green eyes were bright with unshed tears.
That explained why the others weren’t here. I really hoped they didn’t feel like they had to come back up to see me. I didn’t need anything else to feel guilty about. Speaking of which...
“How…” I swallowed. “How is Cody?”
Edward looked away. He looked awful, I suddenly realized. His normally impeccable light brown hair was rumpled, his handsome face haggard. He was wearing a sweatshirt and jeans, the kind of clothes I’d never seen him in. I hadn’t even known he owned them. “He’s…we don’t know, Gabriella.” Now he looked back at me, his jaw tight. “He hasn’t woken up. He came in unconscious, slid into a coma not long after. They induced a coma because of the swelling in your brain. You were in one for almost a week when they took you off the medicine. Cody…he went into one on his own and he’s not waking up.”
“Have you seen him?”
He squeezed my hand. “Earlier today. I wanted to be with you.”
“Go.” I squeezed back, as my eyelids drooped lower and lower. “Go see him.”
As he left, I glanced over at Kendra to say something, but she was staring after Edward. I needed to remember to thank her for being there for him through all of this.
***
I didn’t remember falling asleep.
I did remember waking up and that was because I’d done so with a scream. I’d had a dream about the wreck and then I’d thought I was trapped again—not in the car, but in the awful prison of my own body, where I could hear things, even smell things, but I couldn’t see or move.
Panting, I reached for the handrail of the bed and tried to pull myself up.
“Hey, hey, hey…” Kendra’s face appeared in my line of vision. “What are you doing, Gabs?”
“I need…” My voice cracked. Mouth terribly dry, I wheeled my head around. “Water. I need some water. Need to sit up.”
“Let me call the nurse.” She moved out of my sight.
“No! Help me sit up!”
She was back before I could even blink, smoothing a hand down my hair. “Gabs, listen to me, sweetheart. You had injuries in the wreck. Nothing major, but I don’t feel comfortable moving you.” Her smile wobbled. “I don’t want to hurt you. The nurse won’t—”
“Can I help you?” A new voice intruded and I rolled my head on the pillow as a tall black woman came striding in. Her plaits were pulled back into a ponytail, revealing a face with high cheekbones and her eyes were a clear, bright gold. She smiled the kind of professional, compassionate smile people in her line of work needed to excel at.
“I want—” Feeling like an idiot, I looked helplessly at Kendra.
For a moment, Kendra just studied me and then she looked at the nurse. “I think she had a nightmare. Maybe about the wreck. She needs some water and she’d like to sit up. I didn’t know if she should…?”
“You can get up.” The nurse’s smile broadened as she moved in closer. With capable, quick motions, she checked my pulse, blood pressure and I grimaced when she flashed a bright light in my eyes. “The doctor’s orders are that you can get up if you want and move as much as you can tolerate. The more you move, the better you’ll feel, and the quicker you’ll regain your strength. We just want you to
wait for assistance until we say otherwise, okay? Just in case.”
I nodded. “Just get me up. I have to…” I couldn’t find the words to express exactly what I needed.
“It’s okay.” She rested a hand on my shoulder. “You’ve had a rough few days.” She glanced over at Kendra. “Can you give us a few minutes?”
As Kendra left, the nurse called for an aide and within twenty minutes, I was sitting in a chair, wearing my own clothes—pajamas somebody had brought from home—with my hair brushed and my face washed.
I almost felt normal.
Almost.
“Make sure you drink lots of water over the next few days,” the nurse instructed.
“I will.” Focusing on my hands, I didn’t look at either of them as they gathered up dirty hospital gowns and trash and rags. And damn, a catheter. It was embarrassing as hell, I realized, being reliant on somebody for help. I hadn’t even been able to walk a few steps over to the chair without having somebody there to help steady me. I felt like I should have starred in one of those videos I’d seen when a baby animal tries to walk for the first time.
“I’ll have a tray of food sent up. Some food, some water, rest…you’ll be getting your strength back before you know it.” My nurse patted my shoulder and slipped out, along with the aide.
They left the door open and when I heard the solid sound of shoes striking the floor, I looked up. My parents were there, along with my brother and sister. Edward and Kendra were behind them.
They came in and I managed a weak smile.
This…this would help.
Only it didn’t.
I managed to keep from crying until they left, but once they were gone, I started to cry and even when Edward put his arms around me, I couldn’t stop.
“I offered to help them out if they wanted to stay longer.” His breath warmed my neck as he spoke. “I think they wanted to accept, but…”
“The farm can’t run itself.” I sniffed and tried to stop the tears, but they just kept coming. “And Jennifer’s senior year starts in a couple days. Plus Jackson wants to get back to Amber...”
“Your dad said the same thing about the farm.” He rubbed a hand up and down my back. “I…Gabriella, they thanked me for flying them up here. I didn’t buy them tickets.”
When I stiffened, he slowly pulled back. My gaze fell away from his as he stared at me, but when he cupped my cheek, I had no choice but to look at him. I wouldn’t be that much of a coward. Not after everything else that had happened.
“Gabriella?”
“I…” Licking my lips, I shrugged. “They worry about me and money. They think I’m barely making it up here and they wouldn’t let me pay. So I told them it was a gift from you.”
His pale blue eyes were puzzled. “Why didn’t you just let me buy the tickets?”
“Because I had the money.” Or I did after the pictures.
The pictures.
Flynn.
Squeezing my eyes closed to banish the memory, I leaned against Edward and pressed my face into his neck. I didn’t want to think about Flynn, but there he was.
In the past two days since I’d woken up, mostly all I’d done was sleep and worry about Cody and talk to Edward, Kendra and my family, but now…I thought of how Flynn had shown up at the party, what he’d said, then Cody showing up.
I started to cry again. “It’s my fault. If I hadn’t asked Cody to drive me home…” And I couldn’t even tell him the worst part, the real reason why I’d wanted to leave. I couldn’t tell him. Not without ruining his relationship with Flynn. Not without risking losing him.
“No.” Edward wrapped his arms around me. “It’s not your fault. Some bastard was careless. It’s his fault. His alone. Not yours.”
“But…” I swallowed. “Edward, your mother…I heard her when I was…” I stopped, unable to say the words. I shivered as I remembered how awful it had been to be locked inside my own mind. “She wasn’t wrong. Cody wouldn’t have been there if it wasn’t for me.”
“She was wrong, because Cody wouldn’t be here and neither would you, if the man behind the wheel of the truck had been paying attention.” Edward’s voice was harder, colder than I’d ever heard it. He pulled back and cupped my cheek, staring at me, his eyes more intense than I’d ever seen. “She was wrong.” He blew out a hard breath. “It took me seeing your mother slap her, hearing what your mother said to realize it, and even then, it took some time before it fully sunk in. But you were just in the car. Your mother blames nobody but the driver. It could have been me in the car, Flynn…my mother. Mom’s furious because it’s you and she’ll always find a reason to be angry. She needs to get over it.”
A little stunned, I blinked, not sure I’d heard him right. While Edward had never actually taken his mother’s side, he’d also never really taken mine either. It had always been about keeping the peace.
“Edward?”
He bent down and kissed me lightly. “I’ve talked with her. She’s not happy with me. But I almost lost you. Cody…” His jaw clenched as he looked away. “Now isn’t the time for blame.”
Chapter 18
“I feel silly doing this,” Kendra said, her voice low. “Like something out of a bad action flick.”
“You’d feel bad, though, if I ended up coming over by myself and Claire was here and we ended up yelling at each other,” I countered.
“No,” Kendra retorted. “I’d be taking a page out of your mother’s book and slapping her.” She shook her head. “No, I just might punch her if she came after you like that.”
The fierceness in her voice had me reaching up to lay a hand on hers.
“Anyway, it’s not like I’m the one who needs to worry about keeping a good relationship with the Bouviers,” she added.
She had a point there, I had to admit.
She was pushing me in a wheelchair down the long hall, maneuvering around nurses, carts and visitors. It had been three days since I’d woken up and I had the energy now to walk halfway down the hall outside my room, but no farther. I definitely couldn’t walk to Cody’s room. He was on another unit. I had to see him.
I’d asked Edward about him earlier and Edward had said he’d get his parents out of there so I could, but it would have to be later in the day, around dinner time. He’d texted Kendra just a few minutes ago and Kendra had said that all the cloak and dagger stuff was silly. I had a right to visit him whenever I chose. She was right, but so was I. Claire didn’t want me there and I wasn’t up to a confrontation yet.
No one commented on the fact that neither of my future in-laws had come to see me. Well, aside from the one time when I’d been in the coma, and I didn’t think that counted.
My phone buzzed as we rounded the corner and I glanced at it. It was Edward.
Are you holding up okay?
Rolling my eyes, I sent him back my response.
I’m sitting in a wheelchair while Kendra pushes me around. This couldn’t be easier.
“Edward?” Kendra asked, pausing outside a door.
“Yeah.” I read the message on the screen.
Don’t overdo it. Even sitting up exhausts you right now. I love you.
I told him the same and let him know we were at Cody’s room, then I muted the phone. “Take me inside please.”
If my voice shook a little, I tried to ignore it.
I could do this.
It was a punch in the gut to see him there. Cody was such a beautiful, laughing, vibrant person. Cody was life.
Now he looked like death.
Pale and still, connected to wires and tubes, he somehow looked frail despite his size. At six-four, broad shouldered and muscled, he was even bigger than his brothers, but now he looked younger, smaller somehow. One arm was in a cast. Kendra said it was broken in three places and his wrist had been shattered. Three fingers broken. The doctors said it looked like he’d thrown his arm out to protect...someone.
A wave of guilt washed over me. Even while his own li
fe was in danger, he’d been trying to protect me.
There was a bag hanging off the side of his bed, full of yellow liquid, and I closed my eyes as I realized what it was. He had a tube in his nose too. “They’re feeding him.”
“They have to.” Kendra stroked a hand down my hair. Her voice was soft. “He’s been unresponsive ever since he went into the coma. The feeding tube, the catheter…it’s necessary.”
A knot settled in my throat. I thought I’d been ready for this. Thought. I was so wrong. But I’d be damned if I was going to run.
“Take me over there please,” I said.
Misery spread through me like poison and once Kendra had brought my wheelchair to a stop, I reached out and caught Cody’s hand.
“Do you want to be alone for a little while?” she asked.
I nodded.
I didn’t know how long I sat there. I doubted it was very long, but it felt like a lifetime. I might’ve just gone on sitting there, unable to cry, unable to speak, unable to move, but the sound of the door squeaking open broke me out of my daze. I spoke without looking. “I’m not ready to go, Kendra.”
There was no response.
The hair on the back of my neck started to stand on end. It couldn’t have been Claire, I knew. She would’ve been yelling already. Besides, I knew who it was. Oxygen trapped inside my lungs as I slid a look over my shoulder. I hadn’t heard him approach, but that was nothing new. Flynn had always been quiet.
He stood at the foot of the bed and he looked like somebody who’d been to hell and back. Then did the trip all over again. His cadet blue eyes were bleak, sunken and hollow, his dark hair messy. His handsome face was covered with thick stubble. It had probably been a couple of days since he’d showered and his clothes were so wrinkled, it looked like he might have slept in them every day for the past two weeks.
While I doubted he’d done that, it was clear he hadn’t been preoccupied by laundry or anything like that.
“It’s my fault,” Flynn said. He spoke in a rasp.
When I looked up at him, he gazed back at me with a red-eyed stare. I wondered how much he’d actually slept since the accident.
