The beast inside him growled defiantly. It would keep the promise until its last breath. He gave his noble beast a nod of acknowledgement. He only wished that the creature would see reason. People were not perfect. Jasper was supposed to be a great king and lead his people toward peace and happiness, but he couldn’t even do that.
Not while the creature inside him stirred a war. When this was over, what would his beast do next? Jasper worried that he wouldn’t be the man everyone expected him to be. He didn’t even know how to be himself.
Cora sat with her back against the front door once again. It was warm from the body sitting on the other side. Cora told herself she wasn’t drawn to the warmth, that she didn’t crave his scent, but here she was anyway.
Jasper did not growl. He did not bang his fists against the door. He didn’t even try to break through the walls. Instead, he sat outside the door as if he was happy just being near her. Hours slipped by while he regaled her with stories of his childhood. She didn’t want to lean into them and hang onto every word, but she found herself falling into the tales anyway.
He told her about the time he and Griffin had leapt off a cliff face to see if they could shift before they hit the ground. There was a scar to prove it, he assured her. She could see it when she finally decided to open the door.
Cora didn’t want to like Jasper. She wanted to hold onto the idea that he was a monster, just like every other alpha dragon. The title of king was handed down from father to son without regard for who the son had become. She’d noticed that the son could be a spoiled brat. If he knew the title was his and that no one could take it, power went to his head.
Her mate spoke of days when he acted like that kind of brat, but she didn’t see it in him anymore. Cora didn’t know what had changed him. She didn’t think it was herself. They’d barely interacted. She’d done her best to avoid being anywhere near him until this point.
“Tell me about yourself,” Jasper asked.
The smell of whiskey drifted in the air. She tried to imagine him outside, with his knees bent and a hand dangling over one, a glass of amber colored liquid swirling inside.
Cora didn’t want to talk about herself. Looking back never felt good. It stung, like a wasp in her heart.
“Why are you drinking?” She checked the time. “It’s barely ten in the morning.”
His laugh was a barely audible chuff of air. “Whiskey is the only thing that quiets my beast.”
“The demon,” she breathed.
“Yeah, you could call it that.”
Her cheeks flamed. She hadn’t meant to say that out loud. His response was gentler than she’d expected. There was no sign of his beast or the heat of his anger. If anything, Cora thought she heard a small laugh.
“Tell me about your camping experience then,” he pressed, clearly not willing to talk about the creature inside him.
She didn’t blame him. She didn’t want to talk about it either. Not when she knew both man and demon were mated to her for the rest of her life. The thought quaked her heart and stole her breath.
“Camping was… dirty. It was kind of lonely.” She let her head fall against the door. Hiding in the mountains had not been a fun experience. The umbrella of Jasper’s reign had protected her, but she’d done her best to avoid him, too. It led to some long nights. “I had a run-in with a bear. At first, I thought it was one of your shifters. I tried talking to it, asking it not to tell you where I was. It took me ten minutes to realize I wasn’t talking to a shifter but an actual animal. The thing almost bit my hand off.”
She played with the fraying hole in her jeans while listening to the sound of Jasper’s breathing on the other side of the door. It was soothing, in its own way. She shouldn’t have thought so, but the longer she stayed in the guest house, the more he became just a man.
A man with a demon.
“The funny thing is,” she went on, “I’m not even an outdoorsy kind of girl. I don’t mind hiking or day trips, but I definitely prefer showers to open streams. It’s been too long since I’ve had pizza. Like, good pizza.”
“What qualifies as good pizza? Everyone has their own version of what constitutes good pizza.”
How was this conversation so…normal? Cora felt like they should have been discussing the war falling around their heads or the price she would pay for the pain his shifters had endured. Instead, he spoke to her like she was just another person. Like it wasn’t her fault that his clan was hurting.
Cora cleared her throat, trying to dislodge the lump brought on by incoming tears.
“I’m more of a New York pizza kind of person,” Jasper said while she was getting herself under control.
If he knew she was close to crying, he didn’t show it. Maybe that was his gift to her. Jasper allowed things to be normal. Even if they were in the middle of chaos, he allowed her a small space to just be Cora. It was not a thing she’d experienced in a long while.
For the past years, she’d been the crystal dragon. Coveted. Controlled.
Here, she was just Cora.
“I agree,” she managed to say. “New York style pizza is my favorite. None of the chain restaurants make it right. Every place outside of New York that claims to make it has disappointed me.”
The conversation went on for a while, about the weirdest places they’d found New York style pizza, about their favorite toppings, and the best way to eat it. Even though they liked the same pizza, they disagreed on everything else. It made her laugh and nearly forget the door between them.
Then, she heard a shuffling sound. There was a clink of glass on concrete before the door handle wiggled. Her heart leapt into her throat. She scrambled off the floor and away from the door.
“Can we stop this charade?” Jasper asked. “You don’t have to hide from me. Come on out.”
Cora wrestled her racing heart. She shook her head before realizing he couldn’t see her. “I’m not…I’m not ready.”
His response was a low growl. She felt it across her skin, raising every hair on her arms until it reached the back of her neck. The tiny, animal part of her brain told her to run. Cora knew better. They’d been talking about pizza, about childhood stories. That was not a precursor to any of the things she feared.
Cal had never bothered with small talk.
Talking herself down took a long while, but she managed to find a semblance of calm. It wasn’t perfect, but it allowed her to explain herself.
“We might know each other’s pizza preferences, but we don’t know anything else about one another.” She wrapped her arms around herself. Cora was the only one who could look out for her. She couldn’t rely on anyone else to keep her safe. “Don’t mistake my goodwill for trust. I only came here to keep your demon from rampaging all over the mountains. I didn’t come to explore whatever feelings we could have.”
The demon growled. She knew it was the beast, though she couldn’t tell why. Maybe it was the obnoxious sound of it. The demon that lived in Jasper truly believed it was king of everything. Any disobedience was a rebellion against its rule.
The demon wouldn’t punish her, but it would hound her. It wouldn’t leave her alone until it bent her to its will. Just like Cal.
The thought turned her spine to steel. She straightened and raised her chin. She wouldn’t be bullied by a beast. There was no way she would let it control her.
Finished with this conversation, she spun on her heel, grabbed the noisiest food she could find—the puff cereal—and turned the tv’s volume to an almost unbearable level. Dramatic reality TV blared through every inch of the house. Even though the sound consumed her, she could still hear Jasper’s furious breathing outside.
And a small part of her felt bad.
***
Jasper wanted to break the door down. He wanted to feel his fist punch through the wood and the splinters that would drag along his skin. Every day he woke with her next door was unbearable. The flimsy walls that separa
ted them drove him mad. He wanted to hold her to see her face. He wanted to be near her, but there was always something in the way.
Cora probably didn’t feel the same. She stayed away from him. She made every line between them painfully apparent.
All he wanted was a bit of trust from her. If she could put her faith in him, then there was a chance they could find happiness. He wasn’t going to sweep her off her feet and whisk her away to a tower where no one would ever see her again. Jasper didn’t want to always be the monster of his own story.
The thought that she saw him as such filled him with pain. He snatched his whiskey glass from the ground, threw back the last dregs of liquor, and chucked the glass into the distance. There was a soft sound of it shattering a ways away. He was surprised it didn’t hit another shifter.
His court was always nearby. Since Ashton had returned to Grove, Jasper had both the copper and silver dragon on his heels. He’d grown accustomed to their proximity, then they’d all found women who dragged his cousins away. They were now spread out over Grove. Ashton and Makenna were toiling away in her new recording studio. Ryker and Mina were probably there, causing trouble.
He missed Griffin most of all. The silver dragon was like a brother to him. Jasper had been able to visit the guest house and get a bit of wisdom or a good punch in the face from Griffin. Now, Jasper looked to the guest house and worried that he would never be the man everyone needed him to be.
He would never be the kind of man Cora could trust. She’d called his beast a demon. There was no doubt that she feared the creature. Not even Jasper fully understood it. Only when he was full of liquor could he think without the beast rampaging through his mind.
He knew that his beast would invade her mind while they slept again. He paused and glanced back at the door, the one that would lead him to his mate, and wondered what bound them so tightly. No other set of mates had such a strong bond. He’d never heard of any entering each other’s dreams at night.
It was almost comical, how close they were even though she pulled away at every chance. There was more to her story that she was not yet willing to tell, a history that would shine a light on the defiance she kept wedged between them. If he could figure it out, then maybe he could finally show her that he would never hurt her.
Rubbing his hands over his face, he went inside. The other metallic dragons were doing their regular patrols. Jasper was supposed to head out soon, but he gave Ashton a quick call and asked to switch shifts. If Jasper was up all night, he would not invade Cora’s dreams. She could have a peaceful night’s rest for once.
Cora hated the way she’d ended their conversation. Left alone with her thoughts, she went over the conversation. Again. And again. In the end, she regretted giving Jasper the cold shoulder. There was still a door. There was still a barrier between them.
If only she could find the strength to tell him what happened, then maybe he would understand. A groan slipped up her throat. Maybe he wouldn’t understand. There was no way of knowing. Jasper might seem okay on the outside, but she didn’t know what kind of person he was.
Her indecision was a blade slicing her in half.
One part of her wanted to be open and honest. It was perhaps an old part of her that had survived the past couple of years with Cal. It was soft and open to the possibility of a new future. If Jasper was her mate, then there was a chance he would be kind and understanding.
The other part of her knew only his beast, the demon. The creature was demanding, greedy, and all the other things she was trying to escape. If she opened herself to Jasper and the demon latched onto her, then she would never be free. Cora would never live her own life.
She crawled into bed, almost eager to meet Jasper in their dreamscape with the hopes that it would help her make a decision about him. There was a chance he would give away some of his true nature. If Jasper was nothing more than the demon that piloted him, then she would move on.
But he never came.
Instead, her dreams were filled with vivid memories, and not the pleasant kind. She woke exhausted and covered in sweat. The sheets clung to her limbs and she had to kick, growing panicked, to get them off.
When she was finally free, she sat on the edge of the futon and tried to catch her breath. Her shoulders ached from the dreams that had wrapped them tight all night. Exhaustion weighed on her. As bothersome as Jasper and his demon were, she never felt like this when she dreamed of him.
After a while, Cora forced herself up and into the shower. The hot water was luxurious after the months she spent hiding. She lingered in the spray for longer than she should have with the hopes that it could wash away every frustration still knotted in her core. When that didn’t work, she found herself longing for Jasper.
It was a startling thought. Her time here was changing the ways she saw him. Cora didn’t know if that was for good or bad. She wouldn’t know until the world came crashing down around her.
Unable to sit still, she dressed quickly, tossed her hair into a braid, and peered out the front door. Jasper was nowhere to be seen. He wasn’t camping outside the door or in the skies overhead. When she was convinced the coast was clear, she headed for the front gate.
She was tired of being cooped up in the guest house.
Chapter Four
In the months she’d spent in the mountains, Cora had avoided Grove for obvious reasons. She couldn’t have risked crossing Jasper’s path. Even now she was wary of every face that passed by in case it was Jasper. Reason told her he wasn’t going to drag her back to the guest house and lock her inside, but fear never responded to logic. Cora could tell herself time and time again that Jasper hadn’t shown any signs of wanting to control her, yet it wouldn’t erase the small voice in the back of her mind that held onto the worry.
Instead of letting her thoughts consume her, she lifted her chin high and scanned the shops filling Main Street. The smell of lattes and cappuccinos filled the air, carrying with it the scent of cinnamon. Hungry and tired of chocolate puff cereal, she ventured into the nearest café to see if her debit cards still worked.
She shouldn’t have been surprised when the card worked. It wasn’t like Cal could freeze her accounts. He didn’t own an international bank. He had nothing to do with her money. Yet, there was a pleasant tingling in her chest when she walked away with the coffee and cinnamon crusted pastry.
It was self-sufficiency, she realized. In the woods, self-sufficiency had been a necessity. Every day had been exhausting. With Cal, self-sufficiency had been staying sane while under the pressure of his demands. Here, in Grove while no one was looking over her shoulder, it meant something so simple.
No one was telling her what to do. Her survival didn’t depend on her constant vigilance. For once, Cora could sit and sip a coffee in relative silence. Until the door opened, and a familiar face greeted her with a smile. Cora found herself smiling and raising her hand to wave.
At the sight of the response, Mina’s face broke into a grin with undeniable light. Behind her trailed a plump woman with a bemused look on her face. They both claimed seats at Cora’s table, giving Cora second thoughts about her friendliness. If she’d ignored both women, she could have snuck out the door and gotten on with her life.
“I’m so glad to see you!” Mina’s voice was soft and pleasing, conveying actual happiness. There was no hidden agenda, no lie in the sound. “Where’s Jasper? Did he bring you out for a date?”
“Ah, no.” Cora didn’t know what else to say. She wasn’t very good at socializing anymore. It was one thing when Jasper led their conversations. It was another thing altogether when someone wanted to talk about Jasper.
The woman beside Mina grinned, a half-smile filled with knowing. It took Cora a moment to remember her name, Lilah. “You left him behind. Didn’t you?”
Mina’s jaw dropped, making Cora feel bad until Mina’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “I had to use a girl day with Lilah as an excuse to get away
from Ryker. He’s been ordering stuff for Makenna’s recording studio and the boxes are threatening to take over the house.”
Lilah excused herself and went to buy two coffees for them, leaving Cora and Mina alone. While Cora should have left, she stayed. Her feet were glued to the ground, her butt to the chair. The presence of others, of women who treated her like a friend, was intoxicating. Mina went on about her relationship with Ryker in a way that spoke of deep familiarity, even though they’d only spoken once before.
Cora hadn’t allowed herself this luxury in a long time. Every friendship she’d ever had was severed when Cal claimed her. Not by Cal, but by her. Cora couldn’t stand the thought of someone using her friends to control her. If she took a step in the wrong direction, if she misspoke, there was a chance someone else would have paid the price. It wasn’t a risk Cora had been willing to take.
Even now, she knew she shouldn’t stick around. She didn’t want to make friends with people she might have to leave. If it turned out that Cora couldn’t handle Jasper’s demon, then she would have to give up any ties she made in Grove. The thought was sickening, but a reality Cora had to live.
“Has he been decent?” Lilah asked as she sat down with two lattes. “Jasper, I mean.”
“Ah, yeah. As decent as an alpha shifter can be, I guess.”
Mina and Lilah shared a look. It was Lilah who spoke first.
“That man cares about everyone. Deeply.” She toyed with her paper coffee cup as she paused. “There was a fight not too long ago and Griffin got pretty hurt. Dragons from…”
“Cal’s clan?”
“Dragons from Cal’s clan outnumbered Griffin, four or five to one. I can’t remember. All I know is the look on Jasper’s face when he saw what had been done to Griffin. It was as if someone had punched him.”
Cora noted that Lilah didn’t call it Cora’s clan. She was careful to keep Cora out of it. The detail made Cora study the women. It was as if they didn’t blame Cora at all. War had hurt Lilah’s mate, but Lilah kept the blame on Cal and his dragons.
Aurum Court Dragons: Boxset Books 1-5 Page 56
