“I’m fine, I’m sorry I must have fallen asleep and … it was just a bad dream.” I said sitting up slowly and taking the glass of water from Kyle’s hand.
“It’s been years Ava, he doesn’t even know where you are anymore.” Kyle said reaching down and pulling out the newspaper article about the trial. “He’s not getting out, I don’t care what they say. No judge is ever going to put you through that again.”
Anna sits beside me taking my hand, “you escaped him Ava, your safe from him now.” I know her words are meant to be encouraging but she does not fully understand. I have only known Anna since hiring her to do our firms books, three year ago. Her role has grown to much more and so has our friendship but not enough to confide all the details to her.
“It wasn’t the article,” I said tossing the newspaper in the trash. “My grandmother called and said someone put flowers on my mother’s grave, signed by him.”
Justin slams his fists down on the table, “that fucking bitch mother of his! There has to be something they can do about her.”
“They can’t prove it was her Justin, we’ve tried.” Kyle exhales. “Well you’re going back to therapy.”
“I’m fine Kyle, it was just a bad dream. I am done with therapy and talking about my feelings. As she said, I have the tools to deal with it and now I just have to use them.”
“Sure, use the tools but I doubt she said stop coming to therapy.” Leaning back into the sofa, I ignore his accusation. Even though he’s right, she never said that but I can’t talk about it anymore, so as soon as I was well enough to live somewhat normally, I quit going. What more does he expect me to do? I moved to Atlanta, we started our firm, I bought a house and adopted two young shepherds to keep me company. I am even able to let men touch me casually now, without wanting to scream, although I do not see ever being able to allow much more.
“Okay, well … Ava, Anna and I looked but we can’t find the Schaller plans, can you take a look?” Justin asked.
“Sure.” Justin takes my hand to lead me to the in-law house out back, where our small firm resides. His hand is warm and secure, I have always wondered about Justin since the day we met at his construction site, our first project together. I immediately noticed him, but only recently have I felt comfortable enough to allow him to hold my hand like this. It took months before I could look him in the eyes and even longer before I could shake his hand and not have to immediately shower and cry after. Not that he is any different from other men. Our courier still feels the need to put the signature sheet down and step about ten feet backwards from it before he asks me to sign it. Reminding me that with my fears, I need to give up on men and relationships entirely.
“You do seem better, Ava. I mean you can get close to me now, even let me touch you without cringing. It’s like you’re finally comfortable with … me at least,” Justin said a little too hopeful.
“I trust you now.” I said with a shy smile forced in the direction of his shoes.
“Do you trust me enough to go out to dinner with me?”
“Don’t you have enough girlfriends to go to dinner with?” I laughed shrugging his question off.
“I’m serious.”
Looking into his sincere eyes, “Justin I … I.”
“Ava, it’s just dinner. I won’t even hold your hand.” I want to say yes but I know I will end up canceling.
“Can I think about it some first?” The words leave my mouth with a hopeful sound but the true meaning of them still leaves the lingering doubt.
“I guess but could you try not to over think it … please. I promise to keep it innocent,” he smiled sweetly.
Justin and I go over the plans for our next project and as he always does, he puts me at ease by not bringing up dinner and not pushing any needs he has on me. “Okay.” I say quickly before I change my mind.
Justin looks at me awkwardly, “okay what?”
“I will go to dinner with you.” Justin smiles wide taking my hand and letting go when Kyle enters the office.
“Ava, you have a call. They said it’s real important.” Kyle said raising an eyebrow at the sight he walked in on.
I nod and run to get my phone, “oh yes. How are you?” As I listen to news about a new project, I watch as Kyle becomes intrigued. “That sounds wonderful, I would love to. Yes you too.” Hanging up I smile at my onlookers with pride.
“Was that who I think it was?” Kyle asked.
“Yes. Wow. I didn’t think it would amount to anything.”
“And!” Kyle vibrates.
“Okay I’m getting to it. As you know, I presented some ideas for that Cancer Center competition and well, they called a few weeks ago while you were on vacation and asked to meet with me. So I flew out to LA and I guess they loved what I had to say because they want me to fly out and talk about the details of getting the project started.”
Kyle screams, “how big is it? Who is it for and who are you meeting with and I need … more information!” I place my hands on his chest and breathe with him until he calms.
Reaching into my bag I pull out the notes I had from my last meeting, “okay well it’s a Cancer Center that is being dedicated to ummm … oh here it is, a William Benjamin Grant by his wife Mary Grant and his two sons …”
“Oh fuck!” Kyle screamed jerking at his hair with both fists. “Are you kidding me?” Slowly scooting away from him, I stare at him curiously. “You don’t understand do you?” He asked me. “The two sons, Ethan and Sean right?”
“That’s right, why?” I said to Anna’s sudden gasp.
“Wow, Ava this is huge.” Justin said smiling in unison with the other two.
“I don’t think it’s who you think it is. I met her and she is nice but I never once heard any mention of anyone famous being involved.”
“Probably because they assumed the name alone would be enough to clue you in, honestly Ava you need to keep up with your celebrity gossip.” Kyle huffs.
“Whatever, I guess we will know for sure after I meet with her and her sons in a few days but for some reason she wants me to meet her in Honduras.”
“That’s great!” Kyle smiled joyfully.
“It is? Honduras?” I asked.
Kyle walks over to his bag and takes out a magazine with a knowing smile forming across his face. “Because that’s where Sean is currently filming his new movie,” he said tapping his finger on the man that graces the cover.
“This is Sean?” I asked taking the magazine from him.
Kyle rolls his eyes. “Yes! He is so hot, I don’t think anybody is any hotter than him.”
“I guess he is but I’m sure he is just another spoiled celebrity,” I said staring at the scantily clad man.
“You don’t remember do you?” I shake my head slowly, as he sighs. “Avvaaa! Remember when he pulled you out of the way of that mob of girls going after his brother back in New York?” As soon as he said it, the images become clearer. Studying the man even more closely I try to connect this person with the one from my memory.
“When did this happen?” Anna asked.
“It was what five years ago? We were barely out of college and starving to death,” Kyle said.
“Are you sure Kyle?” I asked.
“Yes Ava, it’s him. I can’t believe you don’t remember, you talked about his gorgeous green eyes all-night.”
“Wow. I guess I had built him into someone else and didn’t think about him being … an actor,” I said feeling uneasy about the possibility of ruining my memory of my Sean. “Okay, well now I’m nervous because I … I don’t want to talk to him or … or anything, I just wanted to ….” I toss the magazine back at Kyle with shaking hands.
“Calm down, I am sure he won’t remember you and I doubt you will get to talk to him anyway and if you do, it will be a few minutes at most. You can handle it, it’s not like you’re ever going to be alone with him.” Kyle said easing my tension some. “Okay let’s get you packed. So do you have anything revealing?�
� Kyle says taking my hand with a dreamy-eyed expression and ignoring my sudden panic.
~
Kyle managed to pack many items I would have never considered taking, like a revealing blue dress that I am suppose to wear around Sean and Ethan for dinner. I am not going to, I don’t care what he says. Not that it matters, I have yet to have a chance to wear it anyway or anything of the sort since arriving here in Honduras. Mary met me as soon as I got off the plane and days have passed and all we have done is tour around talking about everything but the potential project. We have talked all about my life though, how my father died of Cancer when I was young and my mother dying in a car crash shortly after. She already knew that I graduated from Kentucky and then received my Masters from Columbia but she even knows about my grandfather being a horse trainer in Lexington and that my grandmother is an artist. I don’t know what to think about her, other than she is easy to talk to and reminds me of what I had hoped it would have been like with my own mother. Still I feel like I am wasting my time being here. If not for her paying for this exceptional hotel, I might be more anxious to leave. I however am lying here alone, in this ridiculously huge bed waiting for Mary to tell me what to do next, like the puppet and the puppeteer. This whole experience is strange.
When the phone abruptly rings, I jump quickly to answer it. Thankfully I get the information I have been waiting for, plus some other news I am not sure I am ready for. Mary has signed the contract to work with us and she has booked us a flight home with her son - Sean.
Chapter 4: Sean
My latest role is with my girlfriend, at least she was when we signed the contracts. I should have known better than to think I could make it through an entire production with the same girl. However, the location of the movie has made putting up with her worthwhile. We have completed this part of the filming as of today, and I am not supposed to be back in Los Angeles for a couple of weeks. As I sit on set waiting for the final word, my frustrations build up again and I do not understand why. It’s absurd for me to feel this way but the last few days have been worse than usual. That strange draw is pulling me to somewhere else and I can’t figure out to where. I need to get away, clear my head. I need to go to my hideaway house in the Keys. As soon as I leave here, I am going to force an escape and release the ridiculous greed that is obviously working its way through my veins. There is no way I am going to become that person I so desperately detest. My ex, Courtney, being one of them. She still believes we are meant for each other. I don’t know why she cares, she doesn’t stop looking at herself long enough to even notice if I am there or not. As soon as the crew starts packing up, I don’t waste any time before jumping into my car, well my rented Mercedes, which is nice, but it is not my car. My car is back at home in California. A black Aston Martin DBS, my gift to myself after driving it in my last movie and realizing it gave me more pleasure than my last girlfriend did. Within the same day, I broke it off with her and drove my new girl home. If only women could be as easy to handle.
Pulling up to the lavish beach house, I immediately take notice of my mother’s car. The chance of me being able to make a clean escape now, is slim to none. My mother insisted on being with my brother and me here. I thought she wanted to go see a new place, a vacation of sorts but Ethan thinks she is up to something. This means I need to stay clear of her until I can get away and avoid whatever she is planning. My mother is relentless when she gets something in her head. Like getting a Cancer Center built in my father’s name. Ethan and I both jumped at the chance to donate money to the cause, anything to keep her busy. She has taken a bigger interest in our lives since my father died and it is driving us both crazy. Walking into the house I immediately spot my mother talking to Ethan. My only chance is to sneak to my room, grab my already packed bag and run out the door before she can get a hold of me and invite herself along. I can worry about a flight once I am free.
“Sean?” My mother called to me with an innocent desperation in her voice.
“Yes, what do you need?” I asked gritting my teeth as I walk slowly to the edge of the room.
“Sean, why do you always think I need something from you?” She smiled innocently at me.
“I don’t always think you need something mother, I just do now because you are in my house waiting to pounce on me.” Ethan walks to the sofa with a smirk on his face and a huge sandwich from my kitchen. This means I was right and I am going to have to check out the kitchen to get a sandwich for myself. I leave the room before she can say anything else and immediately make my way to the food. Ethan comes in and sits at the bar watching me as if he wants to tell me something. I assume he is trying to warn me but I am not sure what about. Before I can find out, my mother enters the room scanning both of us with suspicious eyes until she feels satisfied.
“Sean, do you have dinner plans tonight?” She asked.
“Oh there it is. I knew it!”
“What on earth are you talking about? I simply asked if you have dinner plans,” she persisted with her innocence.
“And why is that mother so you can set me up with some girl that knows some friend of a friend of a friend of their cousins?” I said as my brother chokes on his sandwich and looks away from my mother’s sullen eyes.
“No Sean, but I do think that you should meet the architect I chose for your father’s Cancer Center.”
“Mom I would love to but I am going away for a little while before I have to get back to California.” I watch as the wheels begin to turn in her head. “Mom, I want to get away from everyone and zone out for a little while before I have to get back.”
“So you’re going to your hideaway house?”
How did she know that? She is so scary sometimes. “I don’t want to be around anybody while I am there mother,” I said as sternly as possible while trying not to hurt her feelings. Surprisingly she doesn’t seem hurt at all but almost joyful by the thought, which terrifies me.
“Have you booked a flight yet?” I shake my head uneasily. “Well I have one already booked for later tonight to go to Miami. We can drop you off on our way if you like?”
“What? Wait, who’s we? Drop me off on the way? What?” I rambled as quickly as the questions ran through my mind.
“I have already booked a flight for me and the architect to go back to the states and review some existing facilities. You can fly with us and when we get to Miami, you can drive over to the Keys. We will of course have to part ways since we will want to get on with our own plans.” She said easing a little closer to eye me carefully.
She sounds too happy for me to be comfortable. However, the plan sounds reasonable and the flight wouldn’t be long, so whatever she has in mind can’t be too bad and having something booked already does save me the trouble. “We will part ways at Miami, correct?”
“Of course Sean, I think you deserve some time to yourself but now we can share a little time on the way. I barely get to see you. You are all over the world these days and if I had not come down here, I would not get to see you at all. I mean really Sean, must they shoot in Honduras? Could they not make a set so you could stay home and work? I need to make sure you are still eating and taking care of yourself. I worry so much about you traveling all the time, not to mention those distasteful women you are always managing to find and ....”
“Mother! Fine, okay, whatever you need or want I am happy to help you.” I surrender.
“Wonderful! I will finalize plans and let you know the details later.” She kisses my brother and me on the cheek before walking out triumphantly.
“You do realize she got what she wanted to begin with right?” Ethan asked.
“What? No she wanted me to have dinner with her and that architect person.”
“Right, she wanted you to meet the architect and you are but instead of dinner you are going to be stuck on a plane with I am assuming … her,” he said with a sheepish grin.
“Uh no … fuck,” I sighed in defeat. “She is something else.”
&nb
sp; “Relentless,” he said.
“So have you met this architect?”
“No, but since Mom flew this person down a few days ago she has been preoccupied until today. She is usually driving me crazy while you’re on set.”
“Huh, maybe we should hire this person full time?” I said with a wink.
“I will happily split that cost with you little brother.”
“Plus all the food you have been eating out of my fridge?” I asked.
“No, that’s part of my contract with you. You pay me to manage your life and I get to try all of your food to make sure it’s right for your career,” Ethan says grabbing an apple on his way out the door. “Have fun Sean, call me when you get back. I think I am going to take some time with Abbey. If Mom is busy following you around, then I should probably take advantage. Oh and I hope she’s hot.”
“Who?” I asked.
“Your future wife you are flying away with tonight.” I quickly throw another apple at the laughing fool.
“Too bad I missed. Asshole!” I yelled after him.
~
I was so anxious to get away, I had the driver come early to take me to the airport. Luckily when I arrived there were no signs of my mother anywhere or anyone else that may be flying with us. I boarded the plane analyzing the best seat to keep my distance from any possible conversations and sat in the middle, assuming my mother will make me move anyway. Although, I am in no mood for being setup with some girl, I do not have the time for, or the want to deal with. My mother is a sucker for these sad women trying to get to me. This girl isn’t the first and I’m not sure how she pulled it off but I am going to have a private conversation with her as soon as I get the chance. She needs to understand that no matter how close she gets to my mother it won’t get her any closer to me. She’s probably not even an architect. I take a quick glance out the window before putting on my headphones and letting myself drift into a deep dream filled sleep. That blissful presence has become more and more present in my dreams these days, only now I can even smell her sweet scent.
Finding Ava Page 4
