Sorcery

by Layla Heart

  I try to move my fingers, but I’m not sure if it’s because my body still feels weird or if it’s because the venom has done too much damage, but the movements are awkward and stiff. “A little?”

  “Better than nothing.” Phoenix lets out a breath and puts my hand down. “We’ll keep an eye on it, but at least the antidote seems to work somewhat. Now, you’ll probably want to get some sleep. Let everything wear off. We’ll check again in an hour or so.”

  I nod. How I wish I could sleep in my own bed right now, Litha at my side, but I know that that will probably not happen any time soon. At least not until they’re sure that the antidote is working and that going back home is safe.

  And those things can take a long time...

  I flinch as my arm violently jerks, my muscles sore, and I let out a groan. Not how I wanted to wake up...

  “Painful?” Phoenix’ hands move over my arm, spreading that warmth that tells me she’s working with her healing magic.

  I nod, slowly opening my eyes. It feels different in the room, quieter, and I think it’s darker too. “Where is everyone?”

  “Asleep.” She softly smiles.

  “My parents?”

  “Meeting isn’t over yet.” She moves my arm and while it hurts, the pain is much less than before. “Your hand is looking better. Not really much to say about how it will end up being, but it’s looking good for now. The progress is hopeful.”

  I nod, leaning my head to the side and looking over the room. Finn is sleeping at a table, his head on his arms. Litha is closer, asleep on some pillows in front of the two couches, Kit wrapped around her. “Rune?” I can’t see him from here.

  “Woke up about half an hour ago, he’s back to sleep now.” Phoenix lets out a slow breath, her eyes darkening. “We’re not so sure about his leg yet. It’s not spreading, but we’re not sure we were on time with the antidote to reverse even most of the damage.”

  I swallow hard. The venom not spreading anymore means that he’ll at least survive this, but what state he’ll be in is still uncertain.

  The door quietly opens, letting in voices from the hallway and Mum sneaks inside, closing the door behind her quickly. She looks over the room, softly smiling, and then comes over to the couch. “You’re awake. How are you feeling?” she whispers as she takes my good hand in her hands and Phoenix stands up to give Mum more space.

  “Tired.” I try to smile at her. “How’s the meeting going?”

  She pulls a face as she shrugs. “Nobody seems to know what to do. This... This whole thing was unexpected, caught everyone off guard.”

  “Could you get anything from the soldiers?” They should know something, right? Though, with the way Mum is looking... maybe not.

  “They’re still being interrogated. But even if I did know more, I’d not be allowed to share it with you.” She winks.

  “I’m going to be king, I think I should know about these things.” That sometimes works... Even if it’s a bluff.

  Mum rolls her eyes a little at me, giving me an amused smile. “In a couple of years, yes. Right now, you’re just the prince and son of the headmaster of the academy. If you want to know more, you’ll have to take that up with your uncle and your father. I can’t share anything. Sorry.”

  “Fine...” I sigh. Was worth a try.

  Mum smiles again. “I’ve got to get back to the meeting. Just wanted to check on you. Do you want me to bring them a message? Something to tell them?”

  “I don’t know.” It’s not like my mind is clear enough, or that I have an idea of what they’re talking about specifically. And, right now, I have no idea what would be a good idea to share anyway, not without talking with the others first.

  Mum looks at Phoenix. “Anything from you?”

  Phoenix shakes her head. “Just that they’re doing a little better, antidote seems to be working. But that’s it.”

  “I’ll relay the message.” She stands up, looking down at me. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours. Try to get some rest and heal.” Then she leaves the room, leaving me with Phoenix, who is looking very thoughtful.

  “What?” Because that look usually doesn’t predict something good, especially not when she starts frowning more every second.

  “Why would the fae king steal the prophecy documents and then attack the school, especially when his own son and the children of prominent families are here?” She sighs, leaning her elbows on her knees. “It makes no sense. It never made sense.”

  “Who says that they’re both done by the same people?” It’s been something that’s been on my mind too, at least while I was able to create full thoughts in the last days. “We were attacked by fae soldiers, that we know for sure, and they carried the royal emblem. But who says that they also stole the prophecy documents?”

  Phoenix nods. “True.” She jerks her head to the door. “The higher-ups still don’t know who stole the documents. But to attack while his own son is here...” She glances over to Finn, like she’s scared he’ll hear us.

  “Yeah. That part is the most alarming of all.” If the fae king attacks the academy while Finn is here, what will he do to Finn when he returns home again? What does it mean for Finn? Or his future?

  “The king will pretend nothing happened.” Rune’s voice makes me nearly jump, his rumble low and almost vibrating through me. “He did that after they attacked me too. Just pretending that Finn didn’t fight off fae assassins while protecting me. Like nothing happened.”

  “Rune...” My voice is breathy, so happy to hear him speak again, and not just moan in pain.

  “Hey, wolf boy. You also still all stoned from the drugs?” It’s almost like he’s laughing at that.

  “Nope, they gave you much more than me, mine have worn off. How are you feeling, apart from stoned?”

  “No longer like I’m dying, which seems an improvement.”

  I laugh. “Improvement, indeed. You scared us for a while there.”

  “Yeah...” Rune’s voice is lower this time, worrying. “But at least my dragon didn’t break out. Which could have made everything much worse.” He’s quiet for a while and I’m not sure what to say.

  I’m not sure which would have been worse, him dying or his dragon breaking out and killing us all... At this point, they both seem just as horrible.

  3

  I push the blanket around Rune’s upper body more, making sure not to accidentally touch his bare skin or on his thin shirt. “You should go back to sleep. You need more sleep.” I look down at him, my heart beating fast, painfully fast. I want to hold him so badly, but the couch is too narrow and I’m not sure I can even touch him yet without the pain overwhelming me. I need him, and I can’t do anything about it at the moment.

  But Rune is just smiling up at me, the bastard looking way too comfortable, and stoned. “I’ve already slept a lot.”

  “Not enough.” I shake my head, pushing my tears back. The way he looked before he got the antidote, or the first hour after... I still shiver as I remember it. He’d almost died and I don’t want him to overdo anything, until he’s fully recovered. I can’t watch him go through that again. I can’t.

  “Kit.” He doesn’t reach out to me, but his voice is low, warm, strong, and it works just as well as if he’d actually grabbed my arm to stop me. “I’m alive. I’m going to be fine. I promise.”

  I nod. Even though this is the second time I’ve almost lost him to fae soldiers. I don’t want to think about what could happen if they got to him a third time. ‘Third time the charm’ really doesn’t give me much hope.

  “I’ll be fine.” He keeps repeating it, like it’ll make me happy or something, but it doesn’t ease the pain in my chest.

  I love him too much to lose him. Not now, not ever. I can’t lose him. And I nearly did. Again.

  “Kit?” His voice changes, going worried. “Kit. Please, look at me.”

  I shake my head, walking over to one of the tables and sitting down. I’ll respect his wish not to leave t
he room, but I can’t be near him right now. I can’t listen to him tell me everything will be fine when it won’t be, ever again. It can’t be. Even if he fully recovers, I’ll always have that memory of him nearly dying, being much too close to death for my comfort, to ever relax again.

  I ball my fists in front of me on the table and tears slide down my cheeks, dripping on the surface. I want to be strong, but I’m too exhausted to be strong any longer, and I don’t know how to deal with it, I don’t know how to deal with this pain inside. I need him, and I can’t be at his side right now, because even touching him will bring me more pain than I can handle. Not touching him hurts, but touching him will hurt even more.

  It’s ripping me apart, and I have no way to put myself back together again.

  There’s a blanket around my shoulders when I wake up, and soft voices float through the room. I recognise Rune’s low rumble, Litha’s warm laugh, Bane’s cocky command, Finn’s suppressed laughter and Phoenix’s skill of verbally making it very clear she’s rolling her eyes as she replies to Bane. They seem to be having fun, but my heart is still too heavy, too painful.

  I’m not sure I can do this. Maybe my family is right, maybe I can’t get attached to just a few people for the rest of my life, maybe I’m not made for that. Maybe I shouldn’t be doing this, this relationship thing, it just doesn’t work for me. That’s been proven over and over again.

  I don’t think I’d be able to watch Rune suffer like that again, see any of them suffer like that. It will break me, I’m sure of it. It will break me into a million pieces that will never fit back together again.

  “Kit.” Litha’s suddenly really close, close enough to touch me if she’d wanted to, but she doesn’t and I instantly crave her fingers on me.

  “Yeah.” I sit up some, still not looking behind me, to Rune, instead looking to the far wall ahead of me.

  “Do you want anything to eat? We’ve got all sorts of things for breakfast.” She sits down next to me, sliding a steaming mug over to me. Coffee, the way we both like it, with milk and caramel, as much caramel as possible.

  I shake my head, looking down at the mug, my chest tightening again. I can’t do it. I can’t face them, I can’t face him.

  “Do you want to go for a walk? Stretch your legs?” She carefully puts her hand on my arm, over the blanket, her touch still warm through the fabric, a hot spot on my skin. It’s not enough and too much at the same time.

  “Alone.” I need to be on my own. I can’t be around them right now. I need to... There is too much in my head, in my heart.

  “Okay. Take the mug though. I don’t know how much coffee there will be left when you come back.” She’s smiling at me, but I can’t return it.

  If I come back. Though I don’t say the words, my thoughts too dark.

  I feel more than I hear Rune’s very low rumbling, and everyone goes very quiet, but he doesn’t say anything. He’s not stopping me. Which is much more than I need to know, he won’t stop me, not anymore. Not...

  Slowly standing up, I pull the blanket around me tighter, like a protective shield, and I take the mug in my hand, keeping it close, it’s heat burning my hand, but I don’t care. “Thanks for the coffee.” I try to smile to Litha, who is looking really worried, but I’m afraid it’s little more than a grimace.

  Then I leave the room, the hallway much more rowdy than the almost deadly silent room I’ve left behind. There aren’t as many people in the building as there were before. Now they’ve found the antidote, most people have moved on to other things. And since there are no classes today, there’s just a handful of people doing research still around.

  I try to attract as little attention as possible, stepping out of the building and sitting down against a wall not too far from the door. Even when I’m away from Rune, I can’t help but stay close. I don’t hate him, I don’t want to hurt him, I just can’t be around him right now. I love him, which makes this all too painful.

  “Hi.” Aideen flops down next to me, her smoky scent strong today, much stronger than normal. “What’s going on inside? Anything important?”

  I shrug, really not feeling like talking to anyone, but she doesn’t seem to take the hint.

  “They’re not letting me in and Litha and Rune aren’t responding to messages.” She leans back against the wall, stretching her legs out in front of her.

  “Phones died, they’ve got new temporary numbers right now.” We’ve always got some spare phones around, just to make sure that if something happens to our phones, we can still be reached. But, of course, we haven’t been able to swap numbers with others yet.

  “Ah, that would explain things.” She lets out a long breath and her fiery scent gets stronger. “Why aren’t you in there?” She’s more serious now. “Shouldn’t you be with Rune?” And there is her reason for worrying. Her king is harmed, she’s protective, she’s a dragon. Of course, she needs to make sure that Rune is okay, and somehow that means that I should be in there with him or something.

  “Can’t.” I don’t mean to say it, but the word still slips out of me. Pain shoots through my chest and I nearly drop the mug with coffee, too surprised.

  Aideen quickly grabs it and puts it down in front of me. She’s quiet for a while, but I’m sure she’s staring at me. “How bad?” Her voice is low, a rolling ember, lava coming down the side of a volcano.

  I shake my head, my tears back with a vengeance. I can’t say anything, my throat closed up. I can’t talk about him.

  “He’s alive?”

  I nod.

  “But that’s not the reason you can’t be there, is it? The fact that he’s still alive.” She lets out a long breath. “I got a message from my mum last night. She said that... She said that the King and Queen were very upset. That Rune was in a lot of danger. If he’d...” She falls quiet, leaning back and not saying anything anymore.

  If he’d died, there would be no next dragon king or queen, it would be the end of their line, unless his parents got another child. Which isn’t that easy, as dragons have not been very fertile since they’ve been driven from their land... Rune dying would be catastrophic for them. But I can’t deal with her worries, not when I still feel so raw and broken from nearly losing him myself. I can’t do this. I’m not made for relationships.

  I should follow the same thing my mother, the queen, does, lots of sex, but not really relationships with any of her partners. My father is still in her close circle of sexual partners, and part of her court, who have basically all been my ‘parents’ for most of my life, but she doesn’t have a specific partner who she seems to love the most. She has many sexual partners and partners who help run her court, but she’s not attached to a specific person. They’re even expecting that if Litha would choose me as her king that I’d still take more than a dozen other partners in my court, because that’s the way of our people.

  Maybe following Mum’s example won’t hurt as much as this does. Maybe I won’t be in this much pain if I stop loving him, if I stop loving Litha, so much. If I just stop with all of this. If I just stop, then losing them won’t hurt as much, right?

  If I could just make these feelings disappear...

  My head gets all whoozy and everything seems to start spinning, losing their stability, losing their density, a wailing noise starting to flow around me. The black magic starts to swirl under my skin, itching to break out, transform into my monster form, but I don’t even have the energy for it. I’m inside my body, but at the same time, I’m not, separate from it.

  “Kit. Kit.” Aideen’s hands are on my shoulders, grabbing me so hard my bones nearly break under the pressure. But the pain is sharp enough that I look up at her, at her red eyes, the fire in them blazing, and her skin flashes the red of her dragon, almost breaking out. She’s staring at me intently. “Don’t go there in your head. It’s not a good place. Get away from it.”

  I try to shrug her off. I don’t care if it’s not a good place. I don’t fucking care. Why should I care? I
t’s not like it will matter.

  “Don’t.” There is an edge to her voice, but I finally manage to shrug her off, touching her skin and feeling the panic coursing through her.

  That breaks through my spiralling thoughts, immediately bringing me back to myself. What? Why would she...?

  Behind us, at the side of the building, there’s a loud crash, the sounds of falling stones, and then screams from inside the labs and outside.

  The ground vibrates under me, and Rune’s dragon’s head appears around the corner, roaring loud enough to rattle my bones.

  Oh, fuck. Oh... Fuck...

  There’s a crazed look in the dragon’s eyes, a look I’ve never seen before, not even when we escaped from the succubi’s cafe, and I know that it’s because of me. I got it there, I made him mad. I turned him insane.

  Fuck...

  4

  As we were having breakfast, Rune started cursing, pulling the covers back, undressing, as his skin started to flicker with the colour of his dragon. He started limping to the door, before cursing louder and turning around instead. He looked like he wanted to climb out the window. Then, without warning, his dragon came out of him, roaring loudly, and breaking through the wall, escaping to the outside world.

  Screaming after him didn’t work and we didn’t dare to get too close to him, he didn’t really look right. It only took moments for the dragon to break out and escape through the wall, leaving us behind stunned.

  I look at the others, and then run after the dragon. I have no idea why, but I feel like I can’t leave him be.

  The dragon seems to know where he needs to go. He has a goal in mind, even if we have no idea what that goal is. The dragon limps down the side of the building before he turns a corner and stops, roaring so loudly that everything shakes, including all the bones in my body.