A Curse So Dark and Lonely

by Brigid Kemmerer

His eyes, dark and intent, have not left mine.

  “Do you think the curse can be broken?” I whisper.

  “That is not a question for me to answer. Do you?”

  Rhen is a monster. So far gone that he’s attacking Grey. I wasn’t sure if I was in love with him before. I don’t see any way possible to move forward now. Can I be in love with a memory? I swallow. “I don’t know.”

  His expression is resigned. “Then we must do what we must do.”

  CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE

  HARPER

  Jake is a problem.

  No, maybe I’m the problem. My mind has been so focused on saving Rhen’s people that I forgot about my brother waiting around to go home until he comes looking for me.

  I’m in the armory with Grey, who moves stiffly, but he’s not pale and sweating like he was last night. Some sleep did him good. I wish I could say the same for myself. He’s stringing a sword belt around his waist when Jake appears in the doorway, the guardsman Dustan at his side.

  Jake has changed into leather trousers and heavy boots, and he’s buckled a jacket over his T-shirt. The clothes suit him—and the aggrieved expression on his face really does make him look like a rebellious young prince.

  “Were you ever going to come back?” he demands.

  “It’s nice to see you, too.” I glance past him, at Dustan. “Leave us. Please.”

  When he does, I push the heavy door closed, shutting Jake inside the narrow room with us. Grey barely spares my brother a glance.

  “I did come back,” I say to Jake. “You and Noah were sleeping. How did you get down here?”

  “I told someone I needed to find you. You’re not the only one who’s read A Game of Thrones, you know. I can fake it, too.” He seems to realize I’m buckling armor over my own clothes. “What are you doing?”

  “We need to leave for a few hours. You need to lock yourself in the room with Noah. We’ll be back by sundown. Grey can take you home when we can make sure it’s safe.”

  Hopefully.

  “No.” Jake glares at me. “Now.”

  “This is important, Jake.”

  “So is this.” He glances at Grey, who is buckling a dagger to his upper thigh. “Order him to do it. Right now. Or I’ll tell everyone outside this door who and what you are.”

  Grey straightens and moves to face Jake. His voice is low and cold. “I would take you back this very instant, but your sister would worry about your survival. So I will return you when that can be assured, and Emberfall is not in immediate peril. Do you understand?”

  Jake does not back down. “I’m not afraid of you.”

  “You need not fear me. But you will respect your sister, and you will respect me.”

  “Shouldn’t that be the other way around if I’m the Crown Prince of Disi?”

  Grey goes still. When he swings his head around to face me, his expression is almost murderous.

  I cover my face and peek through my fingers. “Sorry?”

  He sighs and turns those angry eyes back to Jake. His voice is clipped and full of venom. “Forgive me, my lord.”

  Jake’s expression is dark with triumph. “So you’ll take us back.”

  “I will respect the title your sister has given you.” Grey looks away and pulls a shorter blade from the wall. “I am not sworn to serve you, and I need not act by your order.” A pause. “A true prince would know this.”

  My brother inhales like he’s going to argue.

  “Jake,” I snap. “We’re wasting time. People could die. People will die. I’m asking you for twelve hours, okay? Twelve stupid hours to lock yourself in a room and eat delicacies and sit by a fire with your boyfriend. Can you just do that?”

  “Not until you tell me what you’re doing.”

  I hesitate. “We’re going to see if we can distract Rhen—”

  “You’re what?”

  “—so everyone else can escape to the boats at Silvermoon.” His face begins to change, and I hurriedly say, “This is the only way to protect everyone. He knows Grey. I think he might know me, too—”

  “Harper.”

  “You can’t stop me,” I say.

  “Oh, trust me. I’ve gotten that memo over the last few days.” He takes a breath, then glances around the room as if seeing all the weapons and armor for the first time. “Just … give me some stuff.”

  “Give you some … stuff?”

  “Some stuff.” He points at the wall. “You can be a total badass, Harper. But I’ve spent the last few weeks doing my best to survive, too. I’m not helpless either.”

  I’m not entirely sure what to say.

  “You think I’m going to sit upstairs eating cake with Noah while you’re out risking your life?” he snaps. “Quit staring at me. I’m coming with you.”

  The day is too beautiful for us to be hunting a monster. The sun shines down brightly on both sides of Ironrose territory. We’ve reached the point of the season where the temperature does not change when we pass through the woods, though the leaves change from the reds and golds of late fall into the vibrant green of early spring. I’m not sure Jake even notices.

  We keep the horses at a walk for Jake’s benefit. He took some lessons when I was riding—but he never kept up with it long enough to have any kind of proficiency. Considering how stiffly Grey sits his mount, I think the walking is somewhat for his benefit, too. I caught his grimace when he pulled himself into the saddle.

  Earlier, Grey outfitted my brother with two daggers and a sword.

  “Cool,” Jake said, when Grey threaded the sword onto a belt for him.

  Grey’s gaze was dark, and he jerked the belt a little tighter than necessary. “It is in case I lose mine again.”

  It was hard to leave Zo—but I trust her to help get people out of the castle. She gave me a long look when I ordered her to watch out for the women and children, but she obeyed.

  I want to tell her the truth. I just don’t know how.

  Just like that, I understand how he kept his monumental secret from me for so very long. Choices built upon choices. The thought tightens my chest. I need to think about something else. I look at Grey. “Do you think they’ll have enough time to get people to Silvermoon?”

  He lifts a shoulder in a shrug—then winces. “If the creature is grounded for the time being, yes. If not, he’ll be able to pick them off one by one.”

  “So we’re going to find this thing and kill it?” says Jake.

  Grey’s jaw tightens, but he says nothing.

  “Sorry,” I say again under my breath. “I’m surprised you let him come.”

  He sighs and glances my way. “Far be it from me to refuse a request from the ‘Crown Prince of Disi.’ ”

  His tone is pointed, and I scowl. “You were unconscious! I thought Jamison was going to tell the soldiers to shoot us! What else was I supposed to call him?”

  He raises an eyebrow. “A servant? A footman?”

  I open my mouth. Close it.

  Grey’s not done. “A slave, my lady. A guard.”

  “But she picked prince,” Jake snaps. “Get over it.”

  Grey ignores him. “The healer’s concubine?”

  Jake snorts, but twin spots of pink find his cheeks. “Noah probably would have loved that.”

  We’ve been in the woods for ages, the trail wide and open. This is a major road, but all we hear are birds and small animals under the brush. No travelers. No people.

  Everyone is hiding.

  “We are close,” says Grey. I’m not sure whether the silence worries him or encourages him. He points. “We fell just there.”

  I see the broken branches through the trees. A wide spray of brown along the bark—which I suddenly realize is dried blood.

  A shimmer of white gleams between the leaves.

  “There!” I point. “Grey, do you see—”

  An inhuman screech splits the air.

  That motionless bit of shimmer explodes off the ground, bursting through brush, becomi
ng a monstrous four-legged creature. Another screech—and then suddenly it’s galloping up the hill, charging right for us.

  I can’t register what it looks like. It’s huge and glittering in the sunlight. Jake is screaming my name. Will is rearing. I’m falling.

  Grey seizes hold of my arm and drags me onto his horse behind him. I grab him around the waist automatically and he cries out.

  “I’m sorry!” I cry. “I’m sorry.”

  He’s already driving heels into his horse’s side.

  “Take the reins,” he says, breathless as he all but presses them against my hand before letting go to seize his knives.

  I steer the horse toward the creature. I keep seeing it in flashes of terror from under Grey’s arm as the horse moves. A massive four-legged body that must be ten feet tall, towering above us. A somewhat horselike head—but with black eyes and with fanged teeth that hang several inches below its mouth. Iridescent scales glitter along its hide, shifting into white feathers that sprout above its massive shoulders. One wing is tucked tight against its body, while the other drags alongside it. The front legs end in silver talons. The creature runs at us determinedly, screeching again when Grey shows no sign of slowing.

  It’s terrible and beautiful and somehow entirely Rhen … yet not at all.

  When we near, it rears up over top of us, and I’m sure those taloned feet are going to come tearing down.

  Grey is too quick. Snick snick snick, his throwing knives snap free of his hand. One bounces off the scales, but the other two stick true, driving into the skin at the base of a wing. I see dried blood under its wingspan and realize Grey was right.

  The creature screams and throws itself back.

  “Rhen!” I cry. “Rhen, please!”

  “The wings,” Grey breathes. “That’s where he’s vulnerable.”

  Rhen—the monster—crashes to the ground and scrambles for purchase. It’s going to charge us again. I fight to get the reins in order.

  I can’t see—

  I can’t steer—

  I can’t—

  This is too fast—

  Jake grabs hold of our reins from the back of his horse. “Come on!” he yells. “I thought we were going to lead it away.” He slams his heels into the sides of his horse, and then I’m nearly jerked off the back of Grey’s as our animals bolt forward.

  The monster’s feet shake the ground as it runs after us. We tear through the woods, the horses side by side, hooves pounding into the turf. Grey has the reins again, and I cling tight to his armor.

  “It’s running,” Grey says, almost panting. “It can’t fly in the woods.”

  “It’s still fast,” yells Jake. His legs are swinging against his horse’s sides, and he’s got a fistful of mane. It’s not going to take much to get him off the horse.

  The monster shrieks again, the sound close enough to be right on top of us. I’m afraid to look. Grey’s horse tucks its rump and springs forward. I grip tighter.

  “It’s going to catch us,” says Grey. He’s right. I duck my head and see flashes of white directly behind us.

  “Hide her,” yells Jake. “Get her to safety.”

  Before I can say a word in protest, Jake hauls hard on the horse’s reins and loops back around to face the creature bearing down on us.

  “Come on!” I hear him yell. “Come after me!”

  “No!” It’ll kill him. Rhen will kill my brother. “Grey—no! You can’t—”

  He makes no move to slow.

  “Please,” I cry. I try to fight him for the reins. “Please, Grey. Please—”

  A clawed talon locks into the armor buckled around my rib cage. I’m lifted right off the back of the horse.

  I scream. The horse disappears below us. Wind swirls around me. The talons are like steel against my back. One quick snap and my armor will be sliced in half.

  Grey was wrong. It might be hurt—but it can fly.

  “Please,” I cry. “Please, Rhen. Please know me.”

  The creature screams and dives out of the air. I see Grey below us, driving his horse for more speed.

  I have one arm free. I pull a dagger. I can’t reach its wings, but I can reach the fleshy skin connecting the talons to its front legs.

  “No!” I call. I stab with the blade.

  The monster falters in the air and beats its wings against the current. I stab again. The talon loosens, just for a fraction of a second.

  Then it tightens right up. The armor presses into me. I can barely feel my left arm.

  “Damn it, Rhen!” I call. “Listen to me!”

  We swoop and dive again, heading for Jake. My brother has a dagger in each hand, and he turns, ready to—

  We slam into him. I’m wrapped in Rhen’s talons, but I feel the impact. Jake and his horse go crashing into the ground.

  Rhen rides the air current and we sweep upward, high into the sky. Suddenly, the ground is a blur, my brother and his horse a tiny motionless lump between the trees.

  “No!” I scream. My voice is breaking. The wind freezes my cheeks. “No. Rhen. Please. I love you. I love you. I’ll say whatever you want. Please just stop.”

  He doesn’t stop. We dive again.

  “Remember!” I cry. “You taught me how to hold a bow. You saved my life at Silvermoon. You taught me to dance on the cliff.”

  He doesn’t hesitate. We send Grey into the ground. I hear him cry out. I feel him try to grab on to me, to pull me free.

  It doesn’t work. I’m in the air again.

  “Please, Rhen.” Despite my plea, I drive my dagger into the fleshy skin again. The talon slips and he screams, but he doesn’t let go. “Remember me. Remember. Please. Remember when I came after you in the snow. After Lilith? Remember how we swayed?”

  I’m choking on my own fear. Nothing changes.

  Or maybe it does. It takes me a minute to realize he’s been looping over the trees, diving down to threaten Jake and Grey, but then lifting high when they don’t threaten him.

  And he hasn’t crushed me.

  I stop stabbing at him. “Rhen?” My voice is broken. “Rhen. Please.”

  The air seems to pause.

  Then Jake yells from below. “Hey! Let go of my sister!”

  Rhen screams and dives. He doesn’t know Jake. His fangs glitter in the sunlight.

  “No!” I call.

  He doesn’t listen. The moment of recognition is gone. We’re plummeting through the air. He’s going to tear my brother apart.

  “Please,” I cry. “You said you would give me anything in your power to give. Please stop. Please.”

  This last word is a desperate scream.

  Rhen soars past my brother without touching him.

  My breath almost stops. It worked. It worked.

  We swoop low again—but without the speed this time. My feet drag against the ground.

  He lets me go.

  I stumble and fall and try to roll to my feet, but my body won’t move that quickly. My shoulder feels like his talon is still embedded in my armor. I stagger and find my footing just as he lands a short distance away.

  He’s breathing hard, too. But he’s still.

  As before, he’s beautiful and terrible. Part dragon, part horse, part something I can’t even name. I can’t stop staring at how fearsome he is. At how much damage he could cause. I have no idea how to break this curse. I have no idea how to save him.

  But at least he’s on the ground. He’s not attacking.

  From the corner of my eye, I catch motion. Jake is approaching, a dagger in each hand. His eyes are wide and determined.

  Rhen drops to a crouch and screeches at him. His legs look primed to leap into the air again. Blood coats the underside of one wing, fresh from where Grey’s knives drove into his skin and held fast.

  “No!” I call. “Jake!” Then I get in front of Rhen and lift my hands harmlessly. “Stop. Rhen. Stop.”

  He blows out a long breath and paws at the ground. A talon digs a trench six fee
t long.

  “It’s okay,” I say quietly. My voice shakes. I take a step toward him.

  He screeches at me and I stop. I put a hand out. “It’s okay,” I whisper. “Rhen. It’s me. It’s okay.”

  He takes a dragging step forward. Grey is a short distance away, behind him, but he’s absolutely still. His sword hangs in his hand, ready to attack if necessary.

  When the creature draws close, I swallow. His fangs are the length of my forearm. His head is half the length of my body.

  “Rhen,” I whisper.

  He takes another step. I look into the monster’s black eyes and I see nothing familiar.

  But I can almost feel him.

  I move my hand forward slowly, like he’s a dog and I want to let him catch my scent.

  I say a prayer that he won’t bite my hand off at the wrist.

  He lowers his head, but he doesn’t stop at my hand. I freeze. I stop breathing.

  His face presses into my chest. He blows warm air against my knees.

  I lift a hand and press it to his cheek, just below his eye. My other hand lifts to stroke the underside of his jaw. The scales feel like silk.

  He leans his face against me and breathes a sigh.

  I lean against him and do the same thing.

  “Oh, Rhen,” I say, and I realize I’m crying. He’s here. He’s not hurting anyone.

  But he’s still a monster.

  The curse isn’t broken.

  CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO

  MONSTER

  Ah, Harper.

  You’ve come back.

  CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE

  HARPER

  As long as I stand there talking to him, Rhen-the-monster is as docile as a lapdog.

  If Grey or Jake approach, he snakes his massive neck and screeches at them, but they’ve been keeping their distance, so he’s settled. He drops to the ground at my urging so I can pull Grey’s throwing knives from the base of his wing.

  My fingers tremble with the aftereffects of adrenaline, and I nick my skin on the edge of his scales, but the knives come free. Blood streams down his body in narrow rivulets, but he doesn’t seem bothered. He’s so big that maybe these were more of an annoyance than anything else.