by Ruby Dixon
Can she not smell Juth's scent all over this spot? But as R'ven gives me a curious glance, I remember that humans cannot scent things as well as even the most thick-headed of Strong Arm clan. So I point at the footsteps all over the sand. "Do you see those?"
"Those aren't ours? Oh." She peers down. "I see smaller prints. He must have brought the boy with him. Wonderful. I can't wait to meet them." She looks thrilled at the prospect.
Clearly she has not met them yet or she would not be so enthusiastic. I hand her the package of foodstuffs—dried meat, some roots, and some of the “kah” mix that hunters carry with them when on the trail—and gesture at the rock. "Will you accompany my R'ven in the mornings to deliver this? He knows her scent already."
S'teph puts the package down on the rock, adjusting it twice as if she must find the perfect spot for it, then smooths a bit of fringe sticking out of the sack that must be from a tunic. "You don't want to come with us?"
"He's busy for the next while," R'ven says quickly. "Hunting. It's a Shadow Cat thing." And she squeezes my hand, as if silently telling me we do not have to say more.
"Of course," S'teph says, and reaches over to adjust the package one more time.
When we finally head back to the familiar part of the beach, dawn is starting to break through the clouds. It will be a snowless day, at least, for which I give thanks. S'teph veers toward the fire with a little wave at us, and then I am alone with R'ven. The breeze changes and I pick up the scent of my clan brothers, who are probably already waiting outside of my hut for us.
I turn to R'ven and clasp her hands in mine. "You do not mind that I do this? I know I am leaving you alone for many days."
She shakes her head, her expression fierce. "I want you to do this. You go kill the biggest, baddest creature you can find and show them what a badass hunter you are." Her fingers grip mine tightly. "I know you can do this. I know you're going to absolutely destroy whatever challenge they throw at you. But it also doesn't mean that I won't worry about you. I love you, you know." Her voice catches a little. "I love you, so you'd better come back to me because I'm gonna be hella pissed if I'm stuck here without you."
I pull her close to me, bending down so I can kiss her. "That will not happen. Knowing you are waiting for me will keep me warm throughout the worst of snows."
"That's good," she murmurs against my lips. "Because your bare ass is probably gonna be real cold for the next while."
29
RAVEN
It's hard to watch him go.
U'dron looks so very eager to get this rolling that I feel guilty for even having the slightest bit of doubt. I clutch the blankets close to my body, ignoring the looks that O'jek and A'tam give me. I wanted to reek of sex, and I'm sure I do, so let them stare. I keep my focus on U'dron, who's bright-eyed with eagerness as he strips off his loincloth and stands perfectly still as I'rec scrapes the spearhead over his brow, drawing blood.
"Bring back the tail tip of a sky-claw," I'rec announces. "And you will have proved yourself a true hunter."
A sky-claw. That motherfucker. I'd been hoping he'd channel something a little more appropriate for the snowy mountains, like one of those oversized fluffy cats or a super-big dvisti or something. Nope. Sky-claw. But U'dron just grins and gets to his feet. He swipes his thumb through the blood on his forehead and draws a stripe down his nose, then under both cheeks. With that, he nods at his clan, casts me a quick look, and then begins to jog for the hills that frame our beach encampment.
I watch his bare butt go with a sigh. Get done quickly and stay safe, I mentally tell him. I'll be waiting.
One day passes. Then two. Then four. Steph accompanies me to put the food down for Juth and Pak every morning, but we never see either one of them. There's always fresh footprints in the sand and the food is gone, so I know they're grabbing it. Steph's a little disappointed that we never see them.
"They camouflage," I remind her. "He's not going to show himself to you unless he wants to say hello." And knowing Juth, he doesn't want to say anything at all.
But Steph has a determined look on her face. I recognize that look. It's the one U'dron wore before he disappeared off into the hills—one of sheer determination. Juth's not gonna know what hit him when Steph finally gets her way, I suspect.
I get asked by the rest of the camp where U'dron's disappeared off to. Each time, my answer is the same. It's a hunt. That's all I offer, and it seems to satisfy. Of course it's a hunt. Everyone hunts…well, except for me, because “old” Raven said it violated her hippie principles. I'm still not eager at the thought of killing things for food, especially when everyone else is much better at it. I sit near the fire instead, scraping a skin stretched over a frame. I actually enjoy working with the leather. It's messy work, sure, but there's something so satisfying about scraping all of the gristly stuff off of the smooth side and rubbing it with fat and brain-paste to make it soft and supple. I've gotten really good at keeping all of the fur intact and making the inside nice and soft, so when someone brings a particularly nice pelt back to camp, they bring it to me. Today, Nadine's brought a hopper pelt that's white and fades to darker gray rings on the feet and tail, and so I'm working on it to make sure I keep all that pretty pattern intact.
As I work, I end up splashing a bit of brain-and-fat goo on the front of my own tunic and grimace. The weather's cold enough that it starts to freeze up on the front of my clothing, so I wipe my hands and set my work aside. "Gonna go change," I tell Angie and Hannah, who are on food duty this morning. "Watch my project for me?"
"Of course," Angie says sweetly, adjusting her baby, wrapped tight against her chest. "You want some fresh shrimp tea, too?"
"Always." I flash her a grin and then jog toward the cliffside huts. Things are still a little weird around the others. Everyone's nice, but there's definite lulls in conversation when I know they're thinking about my past and my lies, and don't know what to say. It's like going to a party and realizing that everyone knows each other but you. No matter how friendly they are, you still feel a little adrift. But the smiles seem to be genuine, and no one's said anything nasty, so I hope it's just a matter of time before things get back to normal. I wipe my hands on an old bit of scrap as I head into U'dron's hut. In the days since he's gone, I've moved all my things in here with him and merged our blankets. My tunics now hang on a hook alongside his, and I've rearranged a few things slightly to accommodate both of us. My tambourine rests atop his drum, a reminder that I miss him an aching, aching amount.
But it's only been four days. I know this sort of thing takes time. I can be patient, even if it's a little hard to sleep at night. Funny how I never needed to sleep next to anyone before, and now I lie awake in the furs, unable to relax because U'dron's out there somewhere in the cold.
I slip my tunic off and reach for one of my spares…then grab his and sniff it. Smells like him, just a little. With a smile, I put it on and belt it tight. It fits me like a dress over my leggings, but I don't care. It's not about fashion. It's about feeling close to my guy. I turn to leave the hut, my mind on U'dron, and nearly stumble off of the platform when A'tam appears nearby out of nowhere.
"Jesus fucking Christ, you scared the shit out of me," I hiss, clutching at my chest like an old, frail woman. "What is your problem?"
He gives me a playful grin, his color rippling back to its normal shade instead of the camouflaged color he was just a moment ago. "I did not want anyone to see me while we talked. Did I frighten you?"
"No, I just love spewing words at the top of my lungs for no reason at all," I say sarcastically. Then I realize what he just said about not wanting to be seen. Oh god. Is this about U'dron? I return to the hut's entrance and hold the flap aside. "Get in here."
He races inside without pausing, and I shut the flap behind us.
Once inside with him, I cross my arms over my chest. "What is it? What's gone wrong?"
"Gone wrong?" A'tam gives me a puzzled look. "Is something wrong?"
>
Beauty, but not brains with this one. I fight the urge to smack him across the head. "With U'dron?"
"Eh?" A'tam blinks, and then shrugs his big body. "No word from U'dron. It is early yet. He will spend many days tracking sky-claw first. You must be patient." He crouches near the fire pit, picking up my favorite coal-poking stick and nudging at the embers.
I want to snatch it out of his hand. "Then why are you here, ding-a-ling?" I'm a little worried because I think about my stripper revelation and how A'tam was one of the guys that wanted to see me dance. It was harmless curiosity then, but…I don't know why he's here now, and I'm unnerved. "Spit it out or get out."
He sighs heavily, rubbing his beard. Of all the Shadow Cat, he's got the thickest beard, and it frames his mouth perfectly. For a moment, he looks very sultry and very, very pathetic. "I need advice."
"On?"
A'tam gives me a wounded look. "B'shit will not even look at me anymore. Everything I do is wrong. How is it that U'dron is not a hunter and yet is able to win you to his side? What am I doing that human females do not like?"
I can't resist any longer. I move to A'tam's side and smack him upside the head. Not hard, just enough to make him scowl. "That's for saying U'dron's not a real hunter, you turd. Of course he is. Just because he didn't get to wave his dick in your little ceremony doesn't mean he's any different from the rest of you. He's just as brave and strong as anyone else. He always brings meat home. He—"
"See?" A'tam jumps to his feet. "I say the smallest thing and you leap to defend him because you care for him so greatly. I want that from B'shit. How do I get such loyalty without resonance?"
He gives me the most guileless, contrite expression and I realize that the guy has no clue how to romance a woman. "You could stop hanging out with Daisy all day long, for starters."
"D'see?" A'tam looks baffled. "But she is a friend."
"She's very pretty. VERY pretty." I hate that I have to point this out, but even I'm a little intimidated by just how attractive Daisy is. Her hair is this wavy mass of red-gold that looks as if it's made from copper, it's so shiny. Her skin is flawless, her brows perfect, her mouth naturally full. Even her teeth are perfect and even, and her voice is downright musical. I know she was picked as a companion because she's so pretty, but it doesn't help when all of us here are feeling a little wind-worn after months of living on the beach in the cold and Daisy looks…well, as fresh as her name.
"B'shit is far more attractive," A'tam says loyally.
"Have you tried telling her this?" I cock my head at him. "Have you tried telling her how much you like her?"
"I told her that our mating was very fine." He gets to his feet, straightening proudly. "And I would be happy to do it with her again. What more do I need to say?"
Hoo boy. If the stories Bridget has said about A'tam are true, the man has no game and less finesse. I know Bridget is sometimes a little moody, but for all his pretty features, A'tam is as clueless as they come. "Sit back down. I have a feeling this could take a while." I sit across from him, pinching the bridge of my nose. "You want to hear the unvarnished truth?"
"Un-var-neesh?"
"The truth. Do you want to hear the truth no matter how unpleasant it is?"
He gestures at me. "That is why I am here."
I point a finger at his face, indicating it with a circling gesture. "That only gets you so far. You're cute, but you absolutely suck in the sack. Think of it like fishing. You've got some swell bait, but you've got no hook to keep your catch on the line."
A'tam looks aghast. "No hook?"
"None," I say flatly. "Why would Bridget want to be with you? Look at it from her perspective. She went to bed with you, it wasn't fun, and now the only things you ever say to her are that you can't wait to go to bed with her again. Why would she ever think you're interested in anything but more terrible sex? Why would she sign up for any of that?"
"Our mating was not terrible!"
My brows go up. "That's not what I heard."
He leans forward, shocked. "She…told you this?"
She told the entire camp, but I wisely don't point that out. "When a woman is upset about how a sexual experience went down, it gets around. U'dron didn't win me because he knew how to use his dick. He won me because he listened to me. He courted me. He spent time with me. And when I fell in love with him because of that, then I went to the furs with him…and we figured out together what we liked. You have to be a partner, A'tam. You can't just get your nut off and expect her to be fine with being treated like nothing more than a damn cock-pocket."
A'tam rubs his beard, his movements almost frantic as he strokes it over and over again. "I treated her like a cock-pocket?"
"Do you ever talk to her about something other than sex?" I ask. "What's her favorite food? What's she good at hunting? What does she do when she likes to contribute around the camp? What color is her hair?"
"Her nipples are very pale," he says after a moment.
"That's about sex, A'tam. Try again."
His nostrils flare and I can tell he is irritated. "Her mane is brown," he finally says. "Dark. With little highlights of a reddish color in the sunlight."
"That's a good start. Also a good start? Quit hanging out with Daisy so much. I mean it."
The look he gives me is downright petulant. "D'see said if we spent time together it would make B'shit jealous and she would come running to my arms."
"Daisy was a teenager married to an old man who used her as a beard for his real lover. I'm thinking maybe you don't take her advice on relationships," I point out.
He nods slowly. "I am glad I came to you, then. Will you help me?"
Greaaaat.
30
RAVEN
The next day, I wake up to a scratching at the hut entrance. For a moment, my sleepy brain thinks it's U'dron, and I sit up with excitement. "Babe?"
"It's me," Bridget calls out, her voice muffled through the stone walls. "Did I wake you?"
I'm disappointed. Of course it's not U'dron. He wouldn't knock to get into his own hut. I fight back my disappointment and rub a hand over my face, yawning. "You did, but it's okay. Come on in."
Bridget ducks into the hut, a steaming bowl and a cup in her hands. "I brought you breakfast. Are you hungry?"
"Thanks. I'm always ready to eat." I beam her a grateful smile as she hands the food over to me. "How early is it? I need to head off and drop Juth's supplies with Steph."
She thumps herself down in front of my fire, stirring the coals back to life. "She's already heading out there. I passed her on the way in. She told me to tell you that she's got it."
"Oh. Okay." I take a sip of the tea and watch Bridget over the rim. While I'm not entirely surprised at Steph's actions—she's got a strong idea of how this whole thing with Juth should go down and wants to handle all of it—I am a little surprised to see Bridget on my doorstep this early. Bridget and I get along just fine, but I wouldn't say we're close.
The other woman looks around U'dron's hut with interest. "I think this is nicer than A'tam's hut. He's not the most patient of men." Her face flushes. "Not that I've spent a lot of time in his hut."
"Not my business if you have or haven't," I say, leaning over to pick up a spoon from the utensil basket I have near my cooking items. I take a bite of the food and then offer it to Bridget. "You want some?"
She raises a hand in the air, declining. "Already ate. Been up for hours."
"Everything…okay?"
"Is it ever?" She gives me a faint smile, then hugs her knees to her chest, staring at the fire.
Did she…come over here just to feed me? I continue eating, not entirely sure what to say to her. My thoughts wander back to U'dron—they always do—and I hope wherever he is this morning, he's eating well and he's warm. I hope he's not injured or in pain, and the thought of that makes my stomach churn. The gruel loses its taste and I set the bowl aside, unable to stomach more. "Thanks for bringing this stuff by for me. I app
reciate it."
"Of course, Raven—" Bridget cuts herself off and looks over at me. "Should I call you 'Louise' instead of Raven?"
I grimace. "Please don't. No one calls me Louise. Raven is just fine." I answer to it easily and I prefer to leave “Louise” behind on Earth. "So what brings you over here?"
Bridget is silent for a long moment, and I wonder if she expects me to pry the information out of her. Eventually she looks over at me, and her expression is miserable. "It's A'tam."
Ah fuck. Did that big idiot mess up already? To think I wasted my time talking to him about how he needed to take a different approach with Bridget—to actually really get to know her—and he already screwed the pooch. Why did I bother? "What did he do now?"
She blinks in surprise at my response. "He…nothing…he didn't do anything. I'm just sad because I feel like I'm losing him."
I want to point out that A'tam was here just yesterday asking about Bridget, but I also promised him I wouldn't say anything. Instead, we talked about ways he could get to know her. To romance her properly if he really wanted her. I'm guessing the plan hasn't been put into action yet. "Can I just say if you lose a man that easily, he wasn't ever really yours?"
"Daisy's just so pretty, you know? And perfect." Her mouth trembles and her eyes grow suspiciously shiny. "He's going to fall in love with her, I know it."
"Have you tried talking to him about this?" I already know the answer, but the common sense in me has to ask it anyhow. And when Bridget shakes her head I'm not surprised. "Talking to one another is one of the big things in a relationship, I hear," I say dryly.
She lifts her hands, staring at them. "We've just…we've always been at angles, you know? Ever since he arrived." She forms a right angle with her hands and clashes them together. "We're like oil and water and yet I can't get him out of my head."
