by Cora Choi
Chapter 31: The Final Test
Drev climbed a few steps of the thirteen-flight stairway. Then, just as his feet were out of the water, he leaned against the railing and sank down onto one of the dry stairs. He rested Durendel on a step higher than where he sat. He clutched his head in his hands, his knees supporting his elbows. I knelt down beside him.
“I let her go,” he said again, as he ran his hand over his mouth. “The Shadow of Fear—my Shadow of Fear—it got on me. Pamina told me if I let her go, it would go away, and it did.”
“Pamina told you to let her go?” I asked, awestruck by this revelation. Pamina’s longing wish was to find a true love, a young man who loved her so dearly that he would enter the afterlife to join her. For her to have let him go meant that she, too, had made a huge sacrifice.
He nodded. “She knew. Somehow she knew that was my greatest fear—losing her—even though I didn’t know. I mean, I thought if I just found Pamina, it would go away.” He paused to rub his eyes with one hand.
“When I first dove into the water, I thought I had lost her. I swam everywhere, looking for her. All the while I could feel it—the Shadow—around me, making my arms and legs heavier. Then I found her, in the waters, barely staying afloat. When I tried to reach out and hold her, I could feel the Shadow pull my arms back. It was as though I had no control over my muscles. I fought against it and was able to put my arms around her, but it then felt like it got into my bones and was cracking my legs into smaller pieces. The pain was terrible, and I screamed. She knew what was happening and told me to let her go. She told me she was okay, that she knew there was someone willing to die to be with her. She said that she would be waiting for me. However, if I didn’t let go of her, then I would surely fall to the Shadow, and that would condemn me to the World of the Damned.
“I remembered all those bodies at Sebastian’s mortuary, the ones that died miserable deaths. And I knew I had to let go, but it was still too hard. It was only when Pamina told me that if I fell to the World of the Damned she would never be able to see me, and I would never be able to see her, that I realized I had to let go.”
I nodded. “Pamina is wise. She grew up with the phantoms and knows all their stories, and more. That kind of wisdom helps you to decipher a situation clearly and quickly.”
“Yeah, but I couldn’t see what to do, even after she told me to do it.” He shook his head. “I just didn’t want to let her go. I thought I couldn’t stand the pain if I did. But it was clear that the more I tried to hold on to her, the more I could feel the Shadow of Fear ripping into my body, trying to gain control over my arms and legs and head. I could feel my head knocking back and forth, splashing in the water. Even when I knew I was on the verge of being killed, I still held on. It was only when Pamina told me that we might never see each other again . . .”
His voice trailed off, as though the mere idea of such a situation made it unbearable to keep talking about it.
“So that’s when you let go of her,” I finished.
“No, I didn’t let go. I couldn’t,” he said, shifting uncomfortably. “But . . .”
“But?”
“But she also told me I still had a duty. That I had to go back to the world of the living and fight the Shadow of Fear, because I was the Slayer and the only one who could do it. She said that even if I went to the afterlife with her, I would never rest peacefully if I didn’t fulfill my duty as the Slayer. She released my hands that were around her and pushed me away. And I let her.
“The moment I no longer felt her in my arms, the Shadow of Fear released its grip on me. I felt no relief. The pain of giving up Pamina was all I could feel. I saw her slip away from me, between the haze and fog of the sea. Then she disappeared, as if she’d never been there. I felt the Shadow of Fear over me and around me, just glowering, so I lashed out at it for all I was worth. I was furious that I had lost Pamina.
“I yelled and thrashed in the water for what seemed like hours. It got to a point where I was exhausted. I found my voice gone and my whole body numb. I stopped and realized there was nothing. There was only mist and water around me—as if I had been kicking and shouting at nothing. I didn’t know where I was. I was too tired to swim, so I closed my eyes and let myself sink. And that’s when the phantoms came.”
“The sea phantoms?” I asked, remembering that Pamina had recounted how she had encountered them when she’d drowned.
“You know who I’m talking about?” asked Drev, turning to me.
“Not exactly. I’ve just heard of them,” I said. “And did you meet Poseidon, the god of the sea, who holds a magnificent trident in one hand and—”
Drev shook his head. “No, no gods. These were crazy-looking giant toads, tortoises, and dragons—a dozen or so dragons. As I felt my body sink deeper into the water, all I thought was, I’m dying. I’m dying. And then I felt something grab my shoulder and shake me. When I opened my eyes, I thought I really had died and gone to hell, and that these guys in front of me were the devils. But then they asked me who I was and what I was doing there. I asked them the same questions right back, and they told me they were the phantoms who lived in the sea. Right away, I asked them if I had become a phantom, one of them. But they told me a strange thing.”
“What?” I asked.
“They told me that I was already part phantom—that I could enter the world of the nonliving, as well as that of the living, because I was made up of both worlds.” He looked at me. “Did you know that?”
I paused. If there were a perfect moment to tell Drev that I, a phantom, was his real father, it was then. I looked at his face. His eyes were red-rimmed, and his sharp stare had dulled. He had gone through so much—not just tonight, but throughout his entire life. I turned away from him. He thought of one man as his father, his adoptive father, and it was clear that Drev loved him. He had never mentioned any desire to know who his biological parents were. I wouldn’t interfere.
“I knew only that you were different,” I replied.
Drev’s eyes bored into me for a few searing seconds. He then turned away. Whether he was satisfied with my answer remained unclear.
“So, how did you get out of the water?” I continued, pressing for more details. “You didn’t drown?”
“Nooo,” he said, cocking his head as if he were reflecting on that moment for the first time. “No, I didn’t. When I think about it now, it doesn’t seem real, like it was some weird dream I had. I remember being in the water but talking to the phantoms, telling them I needed to get back to Stauros Island to fight the Shadow of Fear and stop the Order of the Shrike. They rallied around me and asked if I was going to destroy the Order of the Shrike. I told them I would, as long as I was alive, but that I needed their help to get back. That’s when they agreed to help me. They got the water moving, causing huge waves to lift us. I didn’t have to do anything; I just went with these strong currents that carried me all the way to the cave of the library and burst it open.”
I now understood why such monstrous waves had crashed against the island earlier. “So that’s how the cave was flooded,” I said, recalling what the leprechaun had told me. “The force of the water carried you through the cave to the floor of the library.”
“Yeah, and when I stepped out from the rubble, I heard the leprechaun screaming at me.”
“Even having gone through all of that, you’re uninjured,” I said, leaning toward him, amazed, as I studied him from head to toe. “When I saw you jump from the tower, I was sure you were done for. That fall . . . No one could have survived that fall—”
“Except a half phantom like me,” he said, looking straight into my eyes.
I gulped. I wondered what he knew and waited with trepidation for what his next words might be.
“I remember being told I was different,” he began. “But I never cared to find out what was different.” He looked away from me and at the ground. “I thought it was something bad. But my nanny, she told me it was a gift, and t
hat I needed to keep it a secret or others would be jealous. She was wrong, though. It’s not a gift. It’s a curse.”
His hands curled into tight fists. I cleared my throat and spoke: “You have the ability to see phantoms and to see the Shadow of Fear. You can help others overcome their fear. That is a great gift, Drev.”
“It’s great only if you want to help people.”
“Don’t you?”
He looked at me, and even in that dim light, I could see his frosty gaze. He stood abruptly, swiftly taking Durendel in his hand. He began climbing the stairs with rigid, sloshy steps. I followed him. We went up several floors in silence, the only noise the squish-squash sounds from his wet boots.
“To be able to come back having conquered your Shadow of Fear is a blessing—a miracle, really!” I said, deciding to pick up the conversation. “Think. You came back as a living soul and not—”
“A wimpy ghost, like you,” he finished, as he paused to face me. “Yeah, I’m thankful I’m not you. But I had to give up a lot to come back.”
“What did you have to give up?” I retorted. Rage filled me. His childishness was abominable. I sprinted up the distance that had been between us and got in his face, shouting at him. I had never taken notice before, but we were exactly the same height. I was ready to lunge at him if need be.
“I always have to give up something,” he shouted back at me. “Why doesn’t someone else make some sacrifices, for once? I’m sick of everything falling on my shoulders. I don’t want to be the Slayer of the Shadow of Fear. I never asked to be. What the hell!”
“We can’t always have or do what we want, Drev,” I said, continuing to stand in front of him, barring his way. “When we realize that and accept it, it’s called maturing. It’s what has to happen before you can deem yourself an adult, a real man. And only when you’re ready to take the good and the bad—everything and anything that comes your way—do you get the privilege of owning your destiny.”
“Get out of my way!” He was about to push past me, when I shoved him. He stumbled on a back step, lost his balance, and fell a few stairs. He looked at me, aghast, as if he were seeing me for the first time.
“You may have had to make sacrifices because of your family’s financial straits, and you may have had to give up the girl you loved, but it doesn’t make you a victim. It brings you into the next step in your journey. Stop blaming your circumstances, and take charge!” I was now bellowing at him, my hands outstretched and tensed. “You’re the Slayer! Act like it!”
Drev continued to sit with his eyes glued to me, not blinking.
“Don’t you see? Only you could survive a fall into the sea, because you were meant to. Only you were able to come back from near death, from being at the gates of the afterlife, because you can straddle both worlds. That is a gift!”
Long moments of utter silence fell between us. I had not wanted to go so far as to lecture him, but he needed to know. And it was better that I, rather than anyone else, was the one telling him about the responsibilities that now lay before him.
The heat from my initial surge of outrage had cooled off. I walked up to him and reached out my hand, offering to pull him up to his feet. To my relief, he took it.
“Now is the time to take your place,” I said, as he stood in front of me. “Don’t you see? Your being helped by the sea phantoms, being able to fight off the Shadow of Fear, being able to fight with Durendel—the gods, the heavens, they all favor you. Take it! It’s your privilege, not your burden!”
Drev’s eyes locked on mine, softening, and the tense muscles in his face relaxed. My words were having an effect on him.
“Take it!” I repeated.
He opened his mouth, as if to respond, but a scuffle, five floors above, echoed down to us.
“Hugh!” I recognized the leprechaun’s shrill voice.
I closed my eyes, and then slowly turned to look at where the leprechaun was standing. Now they showed up—after all the Saboteurs were dead!
“So much for the olifant!” I shouted back to the leprechaun.
“Hugh!” I recognized the more serious voice of Ahura Mazda. “Come quickly. They have come, the bombing planes. To stop them is no longer within our capabilities.”
“Bombing planes?” asked Drev, his eyebrows furrowing.
“Parafron ordered the island to be bombed.” I let out a low sigh. “It looks as though it’s going to happen. But you may still have time to escape. Quick . . .”
“No, I’m not running anywhere,” said Drev, looking up to where the phantoms stood on the landing. “We can fight this.”
“No, you don’t understand,” I said, shaking my head. “They’re going to firebomb the entire island.”
I stopped. Drev was already running up the stairs. Like a flash of lightning, he dashed past the dazed group of spectators on the landing and disappeared from sight.
