But that was her story, and I needed to figure out how I was going to rewrite mine when I didn’t know what page to start on.
I put the wine bottle up.
Emptied and rinsed our glasses before putting them in the dishwasher.
Trudged up the stairs and fell onto my old bed.
Balance, she’d said.
I spun the word on a string in my mind, weaving it a thousand different ways to find an answer.
How the hell was I supposed to find balance when the pressure built each day with no end in sight?
I walked a tightrope with a boulder strapped to my back. The worst of it was?
If I fell, I wouldn’t hit the bottom alone.
The people I cared about deserved better.
But when sleep claimed me, it didn’t come with a solution.
13
Emily
The next day passed in a monotonous blur. I know I attended all my classes, fed myself at least once, and returned to the dorm in one piece.
The rest?
Buried beneath thoughts of a guy who shouldn’t have been on my mind.
Wednesday was basically the same, and as I walked across campus with a smoothie in hand, I mentally applauded myself for avoiding Ambrose for two days in a row.
Sure, he’d made it easy by skipping our next film class and being conspicuously absent otherwise. That didn’t mean I wasn’t proud of myself for not asking Renata about him when the rest of the Tarots showed up in the student hall for lunch.
And the amount of time I spent not eating while I glanced around, expecting his arrival was just me being cautious.
I needed to watch myself around him. Usually, it didn’t take much to keep the daredevil in me at bay. An extra short skirt here and there. A meaningless fling with a hot guy. A joyride in a fast car.
Something about Ambrose brought that side of me out in ways I’d never experienced. A thrill here and there used to keep Daredevil Emily happy and satisfied. With him in the picture? She...
We?
God, I was confusing myself.
Anyway, when it came to Ambrose, the combination of excitement and wariness wouldn’t go away. I didn’t know if it was because we hadn’t gone further than heated looks and the incident in the classroom, or if there was some other reason.
Not knowing was driving me crazy, and I took an angry sip of my smoothie to try and cool the parts of me that got hot and bothered from remembering his hard body caging me in.
If something like that happened again and turned into more...would this unreasonable attraction settle into something manageable?
Or would I become a junkie hooked on my next fix until I was so deep in the addiction there was no way out?
Graduate. Apprentice. Start your own shop.
I repeated the main steps to my goal like a litany. That was where my focus needed to be. I needed to forget all about Ambrose LaCroix and his stupid—
“Hey!” a deep voice called, bringing me to a stop. “Wait up.”
I frowned, then narrowed my eyes when I spotted Chrom strolling across the quad toward me, taking his sweet ass time.
I folded my arms when he finally stopped in front of me. The bright-green smoothie somewhat ruined my taking no bullshit stance, but it was too late to change course.
“Emily Brennan,” Chrom said deliberately, looking proud of himself.
“You figured that one out all on your own? And they say football kills brain cells.”
The sass probably seemed unnecessary. It wasn’t. Being a bitch distracted me from how this mega-hot guy stood before me, giving me his full attention, and I felt nothing.
No fluttery pulse.
No eager butterflies.
No throbbing between my legs.
All things Ambrose could make happen with a glance.
“What’s your deal, girl?” He grinned, flashing pearly whites. “You don’t like people?”
“I like people just fine; I just don’t like you.”
“Aha, guilty by association. I can work with that. Here I am, worried it was because I called you fuck-hot and angry.”
His grin didn’t abate, and I felt my lips twitch despite my best efforts. I’d immediately pegged him as an asshole after running into him with Ambrose and seeing the cocky swagger he walked the campus with. Now, he was starting to not seem so bad.
So why didn’t I feel any kind of reaction to him at all?
He had the chiseled features. The boyish grin complete with a dimpled cheek. The body of a pro athlete and the kind of confidence that said he might very well be able to walk on water just because he’d decided he could.
On impulse, I thrust my smoothie cup at him.
Chrom grabbed it, giant hands making the cup look tiny. His brows dipped. “Uhh...thanks? But I’m not big on drinking anything that looks like baby food.”
I sighed, extending a hand. “I wasn’t giving it to you.” He passed it back with a raised brow. “That was my psycho test. Most people are programmed to accept something being handed to them, regardless of how well they know the person. It’s just one of those things. It takes a real asshole or a psycho to break themselves of the habit.”
He chuckled. “Does this mean I get a gold star? I’ve already got a teacher’s outfit you can wear to put it on me.” His brows wagged. “Naked.”
Rich or poor, guys never change.
I sighed. “Is there something I can help you with? Hell, should you even be talking to me?”
“Why not? Do you have a stamp on your ass that says you’re off-limits?” Blue eyes went bright with glee. “You can show me. It’ll be our little secret.”
Talk about a one-track mind.
With an eye roll, I walked away. He caught up to me quickly, hanging at my side without a word. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, and he was looking straight ahead, smiling and unconcerned with the attention we attracted.
I sped up, ignoring the twinge in my knee. He kept pace effortlessly. We stayed like that for several minutes before I felt sweat forming at my lower back and slowed to a stop.
“Alright.” I polished off my smoothie while I organized my thoughts. “What do you want, Chrom?”
His grin slipped for the first time, eyes going tight, and I immediately felt like an ass. It got worse when he grabbed the empty cup and tossed it behind me—straight into a recycling bin no less.
He grunted. “Look, I’m throwing a party tonight and I wanted to invite you. I’m still kind of tripping on the idea that Erik has a sister, but he won’t say shit and Ambrose has always been a tight-lipped bastard.”
I did smile at that. He was a bastard alright. Chrom’s hard expression eased.
“Believe it or not,” he continued, “this school isn’t full of nothing but rich pricks. I don’t know what their deal is, and I don’t too much care. You deserve a real welcome.” He paused. “And yeah, if it pisses off the other two I’ll call it a bonus.”
I pulled my lip between my teeth. The idea appealed. I could use an opportunity to let my hair down and not think about anything for a bit.
“They’ll both be there?” I asked.
“Erik never misses a chance to get his dick wet—”
“Fucking eww.”
“—and Ambrose doesn’t have much of a choice. They’ll be there.”
That wasn’t good news. I wasn’t sure I was ready for another dose of Ambrose LaCroix. Maybe I could avoid him?
“There’s a pool,” Chrom added.
My toes curled in my Chucks and I snapped my gaze up to his face. He was smiling like he knew he had me. Like he somehow knew how long it had been since I could jump in a pool without a care.
So I said, “I’ll think about it.”
“You do that.” He held out his hand, and I was briefly distracted by his swollen knuckles. What kind of intense football practice caused that? “Here, give me your phone. I’ll send you the details.”
I hesitated.
Swear
to God, I didn’t think his grin could get wider, but it did.
“Come on, angry girl, it’s just a number. Would you rather walk around the whole campus until you find it?”
I unlocked my phone and handed it to him. “I never said I was coming.”
“Sure thing, Em.” His fingers sped across the keys and he passed it back. He gave me a wink and strolled off, calling over his shoulder, “Whatever you say.”
“Hello?” Danika’s voice was quiet.
“Oh, shoot.” I tugged at the hem of my shirt, staring at the ceiling while I sprawled across the bed. “Did I wake you up?”
“It’s fine.” She yawned over the line. “I’ve got a shift at Sally’s soon anyway.” I heard rustling and pictured her sitting up and stretching. “I’m glad you called. What happened to my update? I was starting to think you forgot about me.”
“Never,” I promised her and the pang in my chest.
Danika had been my rock time and time again. She helped me through the darkest night of my life. I should’ve called before now, and I almost wanted to hang up. I had no business asking her for anything after not so much as sending a text to say I was alive.
“Go back to sleep,” I said. “Call me after your shift is—”
“Don’t be ridiculous, I’m up now.”
More shuffling. I thought I heard a hushed voice in the background and my ears perked up, a smile forming,
“Danika Maurice Joyner, do you have company?”
“Of course not!” She was awake now, sounding so flustered I could picture the blush she wore. “You know my mom would flip out if I had a guy over.”
“You know what’s funny? I never said you had a guy over. I said company.”
“It...it was implied!”
I laughed but decided to let her off the hook before she got really worked up. Whenever she was ready, she’d tell me.
“Have it your way. I’m just glad to hear your voice. And I’m sorry for not calling sooner. Things got crazy hectic out of nowhere and I’m still adjusting.”
“What’s it like up there? Are they as snobby and elite as you thought?”
I shrugged then remembered she couldn’t see it. “They’re really not too bad so far, but it’s only been a few days.” Although it felt more like a few months. “You can always find an asshole anywhere you go, and Black Rose is no different.”
Her tone went soft. “Just assholes, right? It hasn’t gone beyond that?”
I knew what she was worried about. Bullies. Finding me on the ground again, wailing and broken. My knee ached before I buried those memories.
“Just assholes,” I assured her, picturing dark eyes beneath a perched brow. “Nothing I can’t handle.”
“Oh, it’s a guy?” I blinked, wondering how she’d guessed. “Yeah, you’ll be fine.”
My laugh was weaker than before. “I wish I had half of the faith you have in me.”
“What do you mean? You’re Emily Brennan. You’re the freaking queen of never letting guys get to you. Use ‘em and lose ‘em, isn’t that what you always told me?”
“It is...”
“Then what’s different this time? Get him out of your system and move on. You’ve done it before.”
“You’re usually the angel on my shoulder. Since when do you encourage my bad decisions?”
“Since I realized letting go every now and then can be healthy for your mind and body.”
I snorted. Listen to her, talking about letting go. And she expected me to believe a guy wasn’t involved somewhere.
I was about to call her on it when a fist banged against my door.
“Are you playing with yourself in there or something!?” Renata yelled. “You better be ready to go soon.”
Danika gasped. “Who is that?”
“Roommate,” I blurted, getting to my feet. What was Renata talking about? “It’s a long story.”
“Well, she sounded impatient. Text me when you can give more deets, alright? I’ve gotta go anyway.”
“I will. Talk to you—”
“Emily!” More door pounding. It shook it in its frame. “Don’t make me come in there and get you!”
Danika giggled. “Have fun with that. Love you, talk soon.”
“Love you too.” I hung up just as I swung the door open.
Renata was standing there with a scowl. It didn’t take away from how ridiculously good she looked in her cut off jean shorts.
She wore a black one-piece beneath it, and a sheer, yellow blouse pretended to cover her top half while also showing everything. Smoky shadow gave her eyes a seductive slant. Glossy, pink lips drew the eye. And her black waves were pinned artfully on top of her head in a style so complicated I couldn’t replicate the look with a hundred video examples and a full day to work on it.
I wasn’t into girls...but daaaaammmmnnnnn.
“Who were you talking to?” My mouth opened but she wasn’t done. “Never mind. I almost forgot I don’t care. Please tell me you weren’t thinking of wearing that.”
Her sneer added unnecessary emphasis while she scanned me from head to toe.
I didn’t bother asking how she knew I was invited. Instead, I looked down at myself. My strapless, blue dress was loose and flowy, easy enough to escape from once I worked up a sweat and found the pool.
I’d gone light on make-up because duh, pool. And I had a few spare bands for my ponytail around my wrist in case I needed them.
“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” I asked. “It’s perfectly functional.”
“Functional?” Her nose wrinkled. “No...just no. Remove that from your vocabulary. This is the first party of the year and thereby the most important. I refuse to show up with someone who would settle for anything less than glamorous.”
“Since when are we showing up together?”
She charged on like I hadn’t spoken. “Come with me.” Renata grabbed my arm, pulling me towards her room. “I’m sure I’ve got something more suitable.”
“Uhh...” I hiked a thumb over my shoulder. “We’ve been through this, and I have clothes now. Everything of yours is going to be too small for me.”
Renata smiled. “Bitch, are you dumb? That’s the whole point.”
14
Ambrose
Why the fuck did I agree to this?
I glared over the railing at the party raging below, nursing the same beer some Senior had thrust into my hands when I walked by. It was warm now, making it even more disgusting than it already was. Pouring it onto someone’s head became more and more tempting by the minute.
Time kept moving forward, and not being any closer to a solution for my botched balancing act was driving me up the fucking wall.
I needed some peace and quiet to think. Being around a bunch of drunk children—since that’s how they acted after a few shots—wasn’t conducive to problem-solving. But I had business to attend to, and it wouldn’t wait for me to figure my shit out. Plus, Chrom had been insistent that I was here for some reason.
For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why. Just because we were playing hosts didn’t make it a Tarot matter.
Erik was nowhere to be seen in the gyrating crowd that had spilled out onto the lawn. Most likely, he was in one of the bedrooms on the lower level, balls deep in his latest conquest.
Baron went to answer his phone and I hadn’t spotted him for at least an hour. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’d holed up somewhere with his laptop, doing whatever the hell he did on that thing while ignoring the rest of the world.
Chrom was the only consistent presence. Almost too consistent. He’d been by my side or close by the entire night, including when I gave up pretending to mingle and ascended the steps.
We didn’t let anyone upstairs. So, when I caught his eye while he had two cheerleaders tucked beneath each arm, I thought for sure I was about to get rid of him.
Imagine my surprise when he ditched their asses and joined me.
And was I imagining thi
ngs, or did he keep looking towards the door?
“You waiting for somebody, man?” I asked, raising my voice louder than usual to be heard over the thumping bass.
“Something like that.” He turned to me with a grin and clapped me on the back. “If I’m being honest, I’m mostly waiting to see your face when it happens.”
I looked around again, but nothing stood out. “When what happens?”
I should’ve learned my lesson by now.
Ask and ye shall receive.
A ripple passed through the crowd, heads turning towards the entrance I couldn’t see from my vantage point. Tension grasped me by the shoulders, Mom’s words about the coming storm floating through my head.
Was this it?
The energy in the air certainly felt charged enough.
I set my drink on the floor and gripped the railing, leaning over it for a better view.
A dozen conversations added to the din as Renata swayed into the room. Jaws dropped at her arrival. But a fair share of attention remained behind her.
She wouldn’t dare.
My pulse spiked.
My dick twitched.
My grip on the railing tightened.
And that was before Emily Brennan materialized, wearing a pale, pink dress that would’ve looked innocent against her milky skin if it wasn’t so damn short and tight it bordered on indecent.
I stared. Hard. No fucking point in pretending otherwise.
Her hair matched Renata’s, pinned atop her head in an elaborate knot held in place with black chopsticks. A few locks artfully framed her face, looking spun from different shades of gold and red. Those pouty, red lips didn’t need any help standing out, but they shone from a distance.
What flavor would her lips be? Buttercream? Strawberry? Red velvet? Christ, I didn’t know anything about lip gloss. Those flavors might not exist.
It doesn’t matter. She’ll taste amazing either way.
Like she could sense me peeling her clothes off in my mind, Emily’s head lifted, finding me with ease.
Our gazes locked, did battle, fucked each other until Renata distracted her with a shot. Emily tossed it back and gave me a taunting little finger wave before letting herself be pulled deeper into the crowd.
Defiant Prince: An Enemies-to-Lovers Romance (Black Rose University Book 1) Page 11
