“I’m not any good at skating, you know,” I said.
“Me neither,” she laughed.
Oh. That was great. “Well, if you fall, I’ll try to at least fall under you. Give you something soft to land on.”
“Speaking of chivalry,” she said, rising unsteadily in her skates. I knew they would be weird to stand on, but when I stood up next to her, I didn’t even stretch my legs out all the way before I stumbled.
Lisette caught me face-first with her chest, but it threw her off balance too, and she gasped as she fumbled backwards, grabbing onto me and slipping off the snowy grass and onto the ice.
Somehow, she caught us both, and the next thing I knew, we were gliding slowly across the ice together, clinging to one another for dear life. I looked up at her, and for once, when she looked at me, she looked totally freaked out. Almost as freaked out as I generally was by default.
“Crap,” I laughed breathlessly. “We’re on the ice.”
“I-I think we’re doing okay so far,” she said.
We struggled for a while before I pulled myself off of her, standing up and holding her hands for support. We stopped gliding as far, spinning slowly in place, and suddenly all the nervousness, the hesitation at skating faded away and something very different came over me.
The moon was full in a clear sky over us, so many more stars than you’d ever think from the city. There was no sound for a hundred miles all around, a silence so absolute I think I could hear Lisette’s heart beating. And there we were, just turning slowly together, hands locked, staring into one another’s eyes.
“Oh,” I breathed. “This is beautiful.”
Lisette pursed her lips and nodded, a hundred unsaid things in her eyes. My heart pounded, thinking what if.
“Why did you even decide randomly—”
“Seth asked me to do it with him. And I thought it would be more fun to do it with you.”
I laughed. “You can be kind of spiteful.”
“I just… care about you more.”
It was hard to breathe hearing her say that. “Lisette…”
“Let’s—let’s try moving.”
I swallowed and nodded. It was all unsteady at first, wobbling and grabbing one another with death grips, but eventually, finally, we managed to skate in straight lines and even turn slowly.
It was fun. I hadn’t expected it to be such a freeing sensation. I let myself go—let the cold night air fill my lungs as I pushed on, feeling myself fly, faster and faster.
I was getting the hang of it before long. I skated in long sweeps, and before long, Lisette was keeping up alongside me, laughing and red-faced from the cold and the exertion. We turned a long arc, and when she wobbled a little, I grabbed her hand, and once we were steady again, I didn’t let go.
“For someone who doesn’t like the cold, you seem like you’re born to be on the ice,” Lisette laughed.
“I love going fast,” I said. “I love rollercoasters and… driving fast with the top down… and this.”
I pushed away from her and twirled, my arms out. When it actually worked, I got excited enough I decided to be like a figure skater and pull my arms in, because I was vaguely aware that was a thing—conservation of angular momentum and all that—but I wasn’t expecting it to be that much of a thing.
I sped up by at least twice just pulling my arms in and I freaked, completely lost my balance, and made a sound like someone had stepped on a chicken before I was toppling. Lisette called my name and reached for me, but when I went down, I went down.
I came down hard on the ice, the seat of my pants immediately biting from the cold, and once I landed, it felt like the world slowed down from way too fast to nothing in the universe moving. I sat, watching my breath curl up in wisps, and once the adrenaline wore off, I laughed.
“Are you okay?” Lisette’s voice was a few tones higher than usual as she offered a hand.
“Th-thanks,” I gasped between laughter and panting, taking her hand and letting her help me up. “Yeah. I’m fine. Really, really embarrassed, but physically? I’m fine.”
“Forget that, just… god, you scared me.” The concern in her voice actually made me feel guilty.
“Sorry,” I mumbled. “I got carried away.”
She still held onto my hands, the two of us spinning slowly from the force of me standing up. I realized the reason her eyes seemed to shimmer was because there were tears, budding in the corners of her eyes. “Don’t apologize. I just… I’m glad you’re okay, Alice.”
“Whoa. I’m okay.” I stared. I really hadn’t expected her to start… just… crying because I fell on the ice.
She wiped a tear out of her eye, shaking her head. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to get all… weird and emotional. I shouldn’t have brought you out here when I knew I’d… get like this.”
“I-I really don’t mind this,” I said. I mean, I was holding her hands, standing close to her, looking up into her eyes. I couldn’t complain about any of this.
“You could have gotten hurt and I would have just… I would have freaked out.” She sighed and wiped at her other eye. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s getting to me. I don’t mean to be annoying.”
“You’re not. Nothing about you is annoying. And I’m really, really happy you brought me here.”
She pulled me in closer, her hands still clasping mine in their warmth, closer into her chest, and I felt her lay her face in my hair. My heart missed a beat. This was really intimate. My head was spinning.
“Lisette—”
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “I-I didn’t mean to start… getting emotional over you, Alice. I just… freaked out for a second and everything just kept coming from there. Thinking how much I care for you.”
I swallowed. “How much you… care for me.”
I felt her nod against my hair. “I care for you so much it scares me. Is it… weird?”
My chest felt light. “I… weird? No, I mean—I think that’s… that’s wonderful. I mean, I care for you, too.”
“Not like…” She pulled away from me a little, still holding my hands, and looked me in the eye. I felt my stomach turn as she stood just in front of me, her hands in mine, close enough I could kiss her.
I needed to not think that. Unless…
“Alice, you don’t understand,” she said, her voice wavering. “I—when I saw you again, on the first day, when you first showed up, I… I just…”
“You just what?” It was hard for me even to speak.
“I just… I felt like I wanted to be special to you. I wanted to bring you into my life and not let you go. Alice, you’re incredible. Just the way you look at me…”
She shook her head, tears still sparkling in her eyes. I couldn’t find any words, and eventually, she laughed breathlessly.
“I probably shouldn’t have brought you here. I think it’s the scenery. I’m saying things I shouldn’t be saying.”
I couldn’t parse any of the hundred thousand thoughts flying through my head. But some part of me decided to go for it. “It… it is beautiful.” I swallowed. “Why didn’t you bring that person you liked here?”
She laughed, lifted her hand up to my face, and ran her thumb along my cheek, leaving an electric sensation. “Alice… what are you talking about?”
I flushed. “I—you—the person you were talking about—”
She barely parted her lips when she spoke. “I did bring her, Alice.”
My breath caught in my throat. My heart skipped, and for a second, I think the rest of the world stopped existing.
“Lisette,” I breathed. “You…”
She leaned in a little closer to me, and she ran her tongue over her lips. I didn’t know what was happening. On some level I didn’t think any of this was actually real. I felt like I was about to wake up in a cold sweat and Lisette would be on the bed, as straight as ever and definitely not leaning into me, looking down at my lips.
I lifted my hand up into her hair,
held her by the back of the head. Every part of me was shaking. Past Lisette’s beautiful face, her emerald eyes shimmering in the moonlight, all I could see were a hundred million stars.
She paused just an inch from my lips and I felt my chest tighten. Some part of me actually worried she’d laugh it off and say she was teasing me.
“Alice,” she whispered. “You make me want to take risks.”
“Then take them,” I said, surprised I managed any words.
She pulled away just a little, looking into my eyes, and I felt everything inside me going crazy. My chest was screaming please don’t tell me she’s actually not going to kiss me.
“Alice, I’m,” she started, her voice a trembling breath. “You can’t… tell anyone, but I’m a… I mean, I like… women.”
“God, I’m really hoping at this point I’m the kind of woman you like,” I blurted.
She laughed weakly. “Is it really okay? I mean… you’re…”
“Lisette, ten years ago I realized I was a lesbian because you were my first crush. And when I saw you again… I still feel more for you than anyone I’ve ever known.”
She ran her hand along my cheek again. “This isn’t real. I can’t believe it’s really you here, saying these things.”
“I’m right here. I’m right…” I swallowed. “Please take that risk, Lisette, because if you don’t kiss me now, I’m going to lose my mind.”
She took my head in her hand, and I felt my whole body surrender to her as she pulled me in. She closed her eyes, and I closed mine, and the next thing I knew, her lips met mine, and suddenly the entire frozen lake wasn’t enough to make me feel cold.
The touch of her lips was so soft, so sweet, so warm. Kissing other girls had always been—it had been a fiery affair, lips crashing together, hands grasping, but with Lisette, it was everything soft, tender, precious. Her lips just barely fluttered against mine, like she was seeking permission, and when I pulled her into me, she moaned softly. I felt her trembling in my arms, her fingers tracing shapes along the back of my head, and we melted together in a way I never had with another woman.
The air around me was so cold it stung, but the heat of her against me, her body pressed to me and her lips against mine, all of it—all of her was so hot it threatened to burn me up.
She parted with a gasp, and a groan, burying her face in my neck. “God, Alice. You’re so incredible, I can’t—I can’t believe it.”
Normally this was the part where we maneuvered into bed, or, into anywhere we could have sex. But that energy wasn’t here. Not that Lisette wasn’t incredibly gorgeous or that her body wasn’t ridiculously tempting, and it definitely wasn’t that I wasn’t charged, but I was charged with a different energy. I pulled her in close, ran my hand through those blonde locks I adored, and I felt warmth blossoming through my chest despite all the cold.
“I never even—” I swallowed. “I didn’t dare to dream about someone as perfect as you, Lisette, I thought…”
I kissed her on the cheek, but she moved back, turned her head and kissed me on the lips again. It was more powerful this time, fiercer, hungrier, the heat of her trying to devour me, and I had to push her back to get air or I was going to start losing my grip on reality.
“Lisette, I—hold on.”
She locked gazes with me, the most heart-melting look in her eyes, and it took all the words out of me. “What’s wrong?” she whispered. “Did I… cross a line?”
“God, yes. You crossed the line I was too afraid to cross. I…” I shifted. “Can we take this to the car before I lose feeling in my legs?”
She reacted like I’d splashed her with cold water. “Oh! Oh my god. I’m sorry.”
She stepped back away, stumbling and struggling to catch herself. I moved after her, confident only to find that between the cold in my legs and the fact that Lisette had just kissed me, I couldn’t really stand very well. I fell forwards, Lisette catching me, and just like how we’d gotten onto the lake, the momentum sent us both slowly gliding back, Lisette holding me close to her.
I looked up at her as she took my arms, and for a minute, I lost every thought about getting to the car. “God, you’re the most beautiful person in the world,” I breathed.
She kissed me again, and just like that—gliding across the ice linked with Lisette, her arms around my waist, my eyes squeezed shut as our lips met, I felt like nothing in the world could ever hurt us. Like nothing bad could ever happen to us now.
Well, until I pulled away and coughed hard, my chest heaving. “Sorry,” I choked. “My—this is really romantic and I really do like you but I’m going to get hypothermia.”
“Right.” She pulled me in closer, sliding us to a halt and then back towards the car. “I’ll help warm you back up.”
It was funny. Just hearing her say that was already enough to warm me up plenty.
Chapter 10
Lisette
Alice was shivering when I got her back to the car, still coughing hard. I sat in the driver’s seat next to her, watching her as she hugged herself.
“Are you okay?” I whispered.
She nodded. “Just really cold. I’ll be fine. Just need a sec.”
I was staring at her, my mind flashing back to the scene earlier. I couldn’t even remember it clearly—it was all hazy like a dream—but I wasn’t going to forget that kiss for the rest of my life.
I leaned across the center console, took her chin in my hand and kissed her softly on the lips. She buried her hands in my hair, and when I pulled away she held me close, looking into my eyes.
“I have someone I like, but it’s a secret,” she laughed. “You’re so ridiculous. I can’t believe you actually pulled that, Lisette.”
The feeling of her holding me, like she had complete control, I surrendered to her, smiled meekly. “I mean, I wasn’t going to come out and say you took my breath away when I opened the door and saw you there. I was afraid if I even told you I liked girls, you’d know I had feelings for you…”
“I think I would have been too scared about you finding out I’d crushed on you for ten years. Lisette?”
I gulped. “Yeah?”
Her eyes trailed over my face, and she sighed. “God, you have the most beautiful eyes.”
She kissed me. It wasn’t soft this time. I gasped as she pulled me fiercely into her, her lips crashing into mine, her arms hooking under mine and the next thing I knew she was pulling me into the passenger seat with her, straddling her and kissing, her tongue finding its way into my mouth, and I groaned as her hands traveled along my body, leaving trails of heat everywhere they went.
I didn’t have a big car, so I wasn’t even sure how she managed to twist us around in the front seat so she was on top of me, but I wasn’t about to complain. I hadn’t been kidding this seat got hot, but somehow I wasn’t feeling as much heat from the seat as from somewhere else.
Alice kissed along my jawline, down along my neck, and slowly ran her tongue up from the base of my neck back up to my cheek. I shuddered, clutching the back of her jacket.
“God,” she laughed, soft and husky in my ear. “Lisette, you’d better suggest something for us to do unless you want to have our first time in a car.”
My mind buzzed with static. Our first time. I didn’t know what was doing more to affect me, the idea of having our first time or the idea she was expecting more times in the future. “We… should go… home, before—before it’s too late…”
“There’s so many other people there,” she mumbled into my neck. “And I don’t think they’re the kinds of people who want to hear… the sounds I want to make you make.”
I turned some deep shade of red I wasn’t sure I’d managed before. My body was burning for her to do exactly that. “We could go to a hotel,” I gasped as she left little kisses on my neck.
“Mm.” She ran her hand over my front, down to brush my thighs. “Well, I guess I should let you focus on driving. You’d probably crash if I were doing what I w
ant to do.”
She wasn’t wrong.
∞∞∞
Somehow we arrived at the nearby hotel without incident, even though she hadn’t kept her hands entirely to herself. We put on our best we’re just friends faces, kept our hands clearly off one another as we booked a room and got a key, and my heart was pounding as I headed into the elevator.
I was leading Alice to a hotel room. It didn’t feel real. None of this felt real. I just really hoped, if I was going to wake up, I’d at least get to kiss her one more time first.
My hands were a little shaky once I’d gotten into the room and closed the door behind us, and then Alice was pressing me up into the door from behind the next thing I knew. She ran her hands along my sides, and I groaned.
“Had no idea you’d be so… assertive,” I gasped.
“You kidding?” she laughed. Her hips pressed up against mine. “I’m not shy about what I want. And god, do I want you.”
Her hands traveled down along my front, slipped down between my legs, reaching up to my breasts, the numbing sensation of her hands flooding my mind. When her lips trailed along the back of my neck, and when she took off my coat, reached down and unbuttoned my pants…
Our coats landed in a pile on the floor, our shirts right after, before she walked me across the room and sat me down on the bed. She ran her hands along my arms, slipped down between my legs, pulled my zipper down. When I realized what she was doing, my heart missed a beat, and I breathed, “Oh.”
She looked up, her head lying against one of my thighs, and she giggled. Her expression said she was devilishly happy to get that sound out of me.
She tugged my pants down, slowly down to my ankles and off my feet, tossed them off to the side and trailed her fingertips up along my thigh. I was squirming by the time she reached my panties, running her fingers along my shape.
I’d never, never had sex like this before. I’d done it plenty of times, but it had been just a physical affair—get a girl out of her clothes, blow her mind once or twice or four times. And then we’d always be done with each other before long. But Alice was different.
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