The Phoenix of Altria

by David M Zahn

  You have created and accepted a new quest: The Lost Keart Goblins.

  "Several goblins of the Keart tribe have gone missing, and the rest of the tribe has been unable to contact or locate them. You believe this is related to your quest, Disappearances in Roselake, and have promised your new ally, Ezz the goblin chieftain, you will investigate it."

  Type: Epic

  Reward: 1,500 XP, 2,500 reputation with the Keart Goblins, 200 paragon points

  Penalty for failure to complete: -2,500 reputation with the Keart Goblins.

  You have gained a new title: Phoenix of Altria

  This title is unique to you and may not be transferred to another player or NPC.

  Current Title Reputation: Dangerous and powerful. Drove an entire goblin tribe away practically single-handedly.

  Titles grant a boost in fame and reputation which will make people more favorable or unfavorable depending on the title's reputation. The reputation is solely based on your actions while people are aware that you are the holder of the title.

  Wow, this was a hell of a lot of information to process. I created an alliance for my clan, created a new quest, and gained a title. The last part was somewhat amusing to me.

  When I made up the part about being the Phoenix of Altria, I was trying to intimidate the goblins by making myself appear more powerful than I actually was. If they just used blades instead of fire, this whole thing would have turned out drastically different and a lot less favorably to me and the rest of my group.

  As it stood though, this was looking like a pretty good deal for us. We basically completed the quest given by the mayor and had gained another quest in the process, which we could probably complete by just completing the quest that Katarina gave us.

  Checking my Book of You, which was flashing, I saw that both my basic character information and clan icons were flashing. Digging into the basic character information, I saw my title added under a new section called "Titles." This gave a description of the reputation associated with it.

  Next, I backed out and went into my clan information. This showed a new section called "Alliances" which contained my new allies as well as the level of clan reputation with them.

  "There's only one thing left to be done," Eldertits said happily.

  "Oh yeah, and what would that be?" Rondo asked amused.

  "This alliance has to be consummated," Tits responded. "Iasz, tell Ezz we're going to spend some time in his tent."

  As she completed this sentence, she grabbed Iasz by the front of his robes and carried him over to Ezz where she grabbed the large goblin and dragged him towards his tent. Iasz and Ezz both muttered things in goblin I couldn't understand, and a second later, all three vanished under the tent flap.

  "Is she about to?" I wondered out loud.

  "Yep," Rondo said still amused.

  Elaria shook her head, put her hands over her eyes, and muttered, "I'm so embarrassed to be an elf right now. She truly might be the most disgusting creature in all of Alderoth."

  As if to respond to this, I heard Tits yell loudly from the tent, "Iasz don't you leave. I need you here to translate and watch, so get that big ass nose of a face in here and smell this sex."

  I could feel my face reddening as I looked around at the goblins standing there looking like nothing strange was going on. Blessedly, a distraction blew up a moment later in the form of a barrage of notifications.

  Congratulations you have defeated level 8 goblin warrior! You have earned 96 XP.

  Congratulations Eldertits has defeated level 9 goblin rogue! As a party member, you have earned 112 XP.

  Congratulations Elaria has defeated level 6 goblin guardian! As a party member, you have earned 65 XP.

  Congratulations Eldertits has defeated level 8 goblin warrior! As a party member, you have earned 96 XP.

  Congratulations Eldertits has defeated level 10 goblin barbarian! As a party member, you have earned 125 XP.

  Congratulations Rondo has defeated level 7 goblin warrior! As a party member, you have earned 73 XP.

  Congratulations Eldertits has defeated level 11 goblin warrior! As a party member, you have earned 141 XP.

  Congratulations Elaria's animal companion, Minty, has defeated level 6 goblin rogue! As a party member, you have earned 64 XP.

  Congratulations Eldertits has defeated level 8 goblin warrior! As a party member, you have earned 96 XP.

  Congratulations Rondo has defeated level 10 goblin berserker! As a party member, you have earned 127 XP.

  Congratulations Eldertits has defeated level 9 goblin rogue! As a party member, you have earned 110 XP.

  Congratulations Elaria has defeated level 11 goblin warrior! As a party member, you have earned 141 XP.

  Congratulations Eldertits has defeated level 5 goblin grunt! As a party member, you have earned 49 XP.

  Congratulations Eldertits has defeated level 6 goblin grunt! As a party member, you have earned 61 XP.

  Congratulations Eldertits has defeated level 5 goblin grunt! As a party member, you have earned 49 XP.

  Congratulations Elaria's animal companion, Minty, has defeated level 8 goblin warlock! As a party member, you have earned 93 XP.

  Congratulations Elaria has defeated level 7 goblin grunt! As a party member, you have earned 70 XP.

  Congratulations Eldertits has defeated level 12 goblin warrior! As a party member, you have earned 161 XP.

  Congratulations Rondo has defeated level 6 goblin ranger! As a party member, you have earned 60 XP.

  Congratulations Eldertits has defeated level 9 goblin warrior! As a party member, you have earned 112 XP.

  Congratulations Eldertits has defeated level 7 goblin guardian! As a party member, you have earned 72 XP.

  Congratulations you have reached Level 17!

  HP: 162 → 171

  MP: 234 → 247

  You have 6 unallocated stat points.

  You have 8 unallocated skill points.

  Congratulations you have reached level 1 in the subskill: Intimidate!

  Intimidate is a sub-skill of Persuasion, and as a sub-skill, it can never have a level higher than its main skill. Intimidate allows you to coerce others into acting a way that is more beneficial to you. In addition, you can use this skill to demoralize an opponent, so they act timidly in battle towards you or run away.

  5% bonus to succeed an intimidation attempt

  -100 reputation points with the Keart Goblins

  Your reputation with the Keart Goblins has gone from Neutral (-99 to 99 points) to Minor Dislike (-100 to -499 points). All members of this faction will be less friendly towards you, and you are more likely to fail when dealing with them.

  For the second time in as many minutes, I was left reeling from the sheer amount of information that was running across my vision. It was giving me a headache reading all this text, but for the most part, I couldn't help but smile.

  The loss of reputation with my new allies sucked, but I could get that back and then some by just completing the quest that I agreed to with them. I gained a level and a half and leveled up a subskill that I hadn't ever considered before.

  Intimidation was incredibly useful as I bent these goblins to my will with it. I doubt I could intimidate many people in Alderoth, but I'll take it when it works in my favor.

  "Damn, I guess I can't complain too much that Eldertits is getting her some," Rondo said whistling. "She practically got us all a level and a half in experience."

  "Yeah, she is really good at killing things," I said and then added, "and fucking them."

  "I really wish she only did one of those things," Elaria muttered, sourly glowering at the tent.

  We ended up standing around awkwardly for another fifteen minutes as we waited for Eldertits, Ezz, and maybe Iasz to finish. When they finally came back out, the big goblin and Eldertits looked thoroughly satisfied, while Iasz looked like someone suffering from severe PTSD. Still, this didn't stop him from translating for the other goblin.

  "Ezz
wishes to thank you for the gift of flesh," Iasz said stiffly to me. "Your berserker concubine would make for a fine goblin. She has both the bloodlust and sexual voracity that only the greatest of our people can achieve."

  "You're welcome?" I said in response.

  "I don't know what was bigger," Eldertits mused, "Ezz's dick or Iasz's nose. Iasz, translate that for Ezz."

  A moment later, the big goblin chieftain was rocking back and forth laughing. Eldertits certainly had a way with the men we ran into, even the large green ones.

  "We should probably get going back to Roselake, so we can update the mayor," I said to the others, not really wanting to stand around discussing our barbarian's many conquests.

  We bid Ezz farewell, and I shook hands with the chieftain after some prodding from Tits. I wasn't used to this leadership thing at all, but I suppose I would have to get accustomed to it.

  He called over another goblin, a scarred warrior by the name of Graard according to Iasz. Graard couldn't speak common, but we were assured he wouldn't have much to say even if he could. He apparently did all of his talking with the giant spiked club he carried with him.

  We set off toward Roselake with Iasz and Graard now in our company. I wasn't exactly sure how we were going to use these two, but maybe they would come in handy at some point. Who knows?

  Elaria happily informed us on the journey back that Minty leveled up substantially from the battle, and he was well on his way to becoming the fierce animal companion she always wanted. Privately, I thought this was wishful thinking, because I didn't see any way this cute little otter would ever be as terrifying as that bear she wanted.

  The return journey was completely uneventful, and when we got to town, I decided we'd better deposit the goblins at the inn instead of taking them with us to the mayor's house. I just didn't get the feeling the man would appreciate the two of them.

  Entering the Rose and Thorn, I explained to the rather displeased innkeeper that they were with us, and they wouldn't cause any trouble in the town provided no one tried to harm them. In the end, I had to leave Eldertits with them at the inn before the innkeeper would let us leave. She apparently had no desire to chaperone a couple of goblins on her own.

  Eldertits also convinced a very reluctant Elaria to leave Minty with her. At first, the elf was having none of it, but the other elf made a sound argument that the mayor wouldn't appreciate having an animal run around his house again.

  After this, Elaria, Rondo, and I set off for the mayor's house, and I was greeted by a couple of surprising notifications.

  Congratulations you have completed the quest: Clan Sigil! You have earned 50 XP. The Immoral Exiles has earned 50 XP.

  Congratulations you have completed the quest: Better Than a Shack! You have earned 100 XP. The Immoral Exiles has earned 100 XP.

  Current clan hall monthly maintenance cost:

  Lumber: 30

  This cost can be avoided if the clan hall is upgraded again before one month has passed.

  You have received a new quest: Don't You Want a Kitchen?

  "Your clan hall is now a decent-sized room, which is better than the toilet-sized room you had before, but don't you want a kitchen? For your clan hall to reach level 3, you will need to spend the following resources:

  Lumber: 360 units

  Stone: 100 units

  Type: Common

  Reward: 200 XP

  Penalty for Decline or Failure: None

  Do you accept this quest?

  Yes or No?

  After I accepted the quest, I opened up my clan menu and took a look at the new clan sigil. It was a simple phoenix carrying some blue forget-me-nots in its talons. Turin did an excellent job with this. Not only did I like the phoenix, which was sort of my thing, but the forget-me-nots were an excellent ode to all of us being "exiles".

  The next thing I noticed on this page was that there were two new members in our clan. A human NPC named Riran and a player dwarf named Bella Earthshield. Our lovers had certainly been busy since we left them back in Istria. Accessing the clan chat, I decided congratulations and welcome were in order.

  Ryland: Viltria, Turin excellent work! You two get stuff done quickly. Love the new sigil by the way.

  Turin: Thanks, Ryland! I'm glad you like it, hope all is going well in Roselake.

  Eldertits: All is not well in Roselake. Ooooooohhhh spoooooky!

  Ryland: It's fine, we're still working on it. Won't be back for a while. I'd like to welcome our two new members though. Welcome to the clan, Bella and Riran!

  Bella Earthshield: Thanks for the pleasant welcome. I look forward to gaming with you all.

  Riran: Nice to meet you.

  Rondo: Nice to meet you, glad you're both here.

  Viltria: Thought you would like our new members.

  Eldertits: Hey, Elaria, did you know Minty is a pervert? He's settled right onto my breasts.

  Elaria: I swear to all of the gods, if you try any funny business with him...

  Bella Earthshield: Who is Minty?

  Rondo: He's Elaria's animal companion, an otter.

  Bella Earthshield: Awwww!

  Eldertits: He's otterly perverted (and adorable).

  Elaria: He is a fierce warrior who felled two goblins in our last battle

  Ryland: Anyway, we'll get back to it. Let us know if you need anything.

  Climbing the hill back up to the mayor's manor was just as annoying and exhausting as it was the first time around. When we knocked on the door, we were met by Thomas, who might have looked even worse than the last time we saw him.

  "Hi, Thomas," I said, breathing heavily. "We're here to give the mayor a status update."

  "Oh?" Thomas asked, with an arched eyebrow. "Have you managed to locate our missing people?"

  "Well, no, not exactly. But we have managed to get the goblins to leave the region. Well, except for a couple of them," I replied.

  "I see," Thomas said, and then after a long silence added, "Very well. I shall fetch the master of the house for you. Please come in."

  Once he had seen us to the sitting room, Thomas disappeared to fetch Sir Colton Ramsey. Colton came bursting in the room a couple minutes later looking pleased.

  "Thomas has told me that you've dealt with our little goblin problem," Colton said happily.

  "Yes, we have, but they are not responsible for your missing villagers. In fact, they were only in the area because they have had some of their own people go missing," I said in response.

  "Very interesting," the mayor responded twirling his mustache. "Perhaps you'd better tell me all of the details."

  So, I did. I filled him in on everything that happened in the goblin camp, though I glossed over some of the less flattering parts for myself. When I finished, I sat back and waited for Colton to comment.

  He looked at me with a strained expression on his face before saying finally, "I'd hate to think that one of our own people is doing this, but if what the goblins say is true, and that's a big if because you can never trust those little green monkeys, then in all likelihood, someone in Roselake is behind these crimes."

  "I don't believe they were lying to us," I replied softly. "I intimidated them pretty thoroughly."

  He sighed and said, "Very well. I'll leave this in your capable hands. Thank you for driving most of them off. I'll have Thomas fetch your reward."

  I noticed that he stressed most of them when he said this, so he must have not been too pleased that I brought a couple of them back with us into his village.

  "Thomas," Colton yelled. "Would you please bring them their reward?"

  Congratulations you have completed the quest: Run Them Off! You have earned 1000 XP, 200 gold, and 1000 reputation points with Roselake.

  Your reputation with Roselake has gone from Neutral (-99 to 99 points) to Minor Friendship (1000 to 4999 points). They are close to viewing you as a full-fledged friend and will treat you in this light.

  Congratulations you have reached Level 18!

/>   HP: 171 → 180

  MP: 247 → 260

  You have 8 unallocated stat points.

  You have 10 unallocated skill points.

  Congratulations you have learned the spell Cure Disease!

  Cure Disease

  "Phoenixes are renowned for their miraculous curative abilities. Your Phoenix bloodline has now unlocked the ability to cure diseases and remove poisons. This spell can be cast on yourself or any selected target."

  Type: Life

  Range: 5 feet

  Charge Time: 10 seconds

  Effects:

  20% chance to cure a disease on target

  20% chance to remove poison from target

  Mp cost: 50

  Level: 1

  God, I love leveling up and learning new spells. Cure Disease would have been extremely useful when I was suffering from my bout of fish herpes.

  "Here you are, sir," Thomas said, passing a bag to Colton.

  Colton, in turn, reached in and dug out two hundred gold pieces and passed them to me, and then did the same for Rondo and Elaria.

  "Where is the prude one?" Colton asked, looking around. "Was she too modest to come this time?"

  "Uh yes, I would say she's probably fully covered right now," I said, thinking about what she was probably doing with poor Minty right now.