Aaron’s head began to twitch and Ruby leant forward, rapt by what was unfolding.
“Because, you stupid heifer, the darkness is the only thing about any of us that’s remotely exciting.”
“Aaron,” Ness continued, also determinedly calm. “We know you’re in agony. That deep inside you is the real Aaron. Someone who’s much better than this.”
Aaron threw his head back and laughed, a bitter sound that made you want to clap your hands to your ears. “Oh please, no! Don’t start with all that love and light shit again! Seriously, if you’re trying to understand me, you’re wasting your time. If you wanna help me, you can’t. I don’t want to be helped. Why can’t you pathetic witches get that into your heads? Witch Bitches! Witch Bitches! That’s what you are.”
“We’re not going to rise to your insults,” Ness declared. “Besides, we know we’re flawed as human beings, we freely admit it. And we won’t give up on you either, because you do need help. Aaron. What’s inside you can’t stay if you refuse to give it a home. You have the power to evict it.”
“Crazy! Crazy! Crazy! You’re all fucking crazy. Crazier than me.”
Ruby flinched as Aaron jumped to his feet. What was he going to do, turn around? Was she going to see his face? The guard stepped forward as Aaron continued to stand with his back to her, his body swaying from side to side. The three women, however, remained seated. Clearly this wasn’t an uncommon occurrence.
Again he targeted Ness. “How’d you sleep at night, knowing what you did? She was your fucking twin, you bitch!”
Again Ruby frowned, what did she do to this supposed twin? What was so terrible about it?
“And Theodora, you used to squawk on about how much you loved Reggie; kept calling him your soul mate, but what about Tony, eh? You had eyes for him too, didn’t you? You had the proper hots. He made you laugh, when Reggie was going through a rough patch at work and had lost his sense of humour. He made you do more than that; he made you squeal with delight. You sounded just like a pig!”
“It was just the once!” Theo said, causing Ruby’s jaw to drop. She’d had an affair?
Quickly, the old woman took a deep breath and composed herself, clearly angry with herself for having bitten back.
Aaron laughed again, “Hey, at least you managed to find yourself a fuck buddy, that’s quite impressive actually. Had a thing about fat-bottomed girls, did he? Jeez, whatever! I admire his bravery.” Pointing at Ness, he added, “You’re so different to little Miss Frigid, though. She ain’t got a fucking clue what to do with that hole between her legs. I wouldn’t be surprised if the damned thing’s gone and closed up.”
Grace rose. “That’s enough for today I think.” Her smile was like a rictus grin. “Thank you, Aaron. George and I will accompany you back to your room.”
“But we haven’t finished yet,” he protested. “We can’t possibly have finished.”
“We have, Aaron,” she assured him. “George, can you help—”
“I haven’t said hello to the young lady spying on me.”
Again, Ruby flinched, so did Theo and Ness, visibly this time. Young lady, it’s what Peter had called her – was it just a coincidence, or did he know?
“Young lady,” he continued, “young lady.” That confirmed it. He knew and he was using it as a weapon. “Lost one daddy and wants another. Even if it’s me.”
Ruby gasped. Turn around. Let me see you. Turn around.
“Bit of advice, darlin’, desperate ain’t never a good look. But hey, that’s what you are, and flawed too, just like the rest of us. God, I’m sensing a darkness in you. Woah! It’s even scaring me. Actually, I’m a liar. I love it. It’s my gift to you.”
Ness jumped to her feet too. “Grace, you said this session was over.”
“Aaron,” Grace’s voice had grown stern. “Do you really want us to use force?”
Aaron held up a hand in what was a mockery of a placating gesture. “Hold your horses, will you? Just take a chill pill. This is why you called the fucking meeting, so this young lady,” he spat the words this time, “could see me. She wants to check if there’s a connection between us. What did she call it when I came in? An affinity.”
Before Ruby could react, he swung round at last, to stare straight into the camera.
“I don’t need no test to know you’re my daughter, of course you are. Oh and let me tell you, your grandmother’s a hideous witch too; a dead witch the voices are telling me, thank the Devil. I’ll see her in hell for what she did, I’ll make her suffer, but who wants to talk about a dead old woman? Not me, not when we can talk about your mum. What a game girl she was; what a cheap and easy fuck. She was up for anything after a few vodkas, stuff that’d make your eyes water. Mine certainly did! I encouraged her.” He gave a short laugh. “Of course I fucking encouraged her. She’d give any whore a run for their money, that one. It’s lovely to think something came of our union, something solid. Hello, Ruby, Spooky Ruby. That’s what your best friend used to call you, eh? What was her name?” He cocked his head as if listening. “Ah, Lisa. Her name was Lisa. If I’d been around then, like I was supposed to, I’d have sewn her fucking mouth up. Father and daughter, eh? A blood bond. A lasting bond.”
Ice-cold water poured through Ruby’s veins as she continued to stare at Hames, at his face, seen not just as a child but that night at the asylum too. He was the one who’d shoved his face into hers; who’d warned her she’d know his name soon enough. And he was right. She knew something else too, just as Gran had known and as he had known on first sight of her. There would be no further tests. This man, she resembled him so much, even his eyes – his green-flecked maddened eyes.
For now we see through a glass darkly.
Those words would always haunt her.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Theo and Ness tried to comfort her, but as politely as she could, Ruby put a halt to it.
“Look, it’s fine. I know who my father is now; no one said I had to like it.”
“If he’s your father.” Still Ness persisted with that line of thought.
Ruby stared at her. “You know as well as I do, he is.”
Ness lowered her head. “I’m sorry,” she murmured.
A twin, Ness had a twin. Ruby considered mentioning it and then decided not to. She didn’t want to repeat any of the bile that man had spewed out. And neither did she want to see him again. Not even if a way was found to banish what festered inside him. He was her father but only in a biological sense and that’s the way it was going to stay. She wasn’t a pawn in this situation, nor was she a victim. As her Gran had always said, she was not powerless, she was powerful; she’d hold on to that and to another thing someone had said to her almost two years back – the spirit of a young girl who’d been haunting Emily’s Bridge, not its namesake, she’d been called Susan. ‘Never forget how good you are, how bright you shine.’ Hames had claimed he’d seen the darkness within her, had likened it to the darkness in him. But others had seen something else.
A more sombre Grace than the one who’d let them into the building, now showed them out, all the while glancing at Ruby as they retraced their footsteps, as if worried she might crumble; have a meltdown right there and then in front of them; need treatment even – oh the irony! Perhaps it was with relief that Grace locked the door behind them. Certainly it felt wonderful to be in the fresh air again. Ruby closed her eyes and breathed deeply and Ness and Theo did the same – all of them trying to cleanse themselves of the something rotten that had tainted them. How could Hames see so much? Once again she wondered what Gran had done; what Rosamund had written all those years before – instructions, or something tantamount to that? And why had they done it, when the light was so strong in them too? That’s what you fought darkness with: the light. That’s what Gran had always taught her. She’d claimed there were no winners when it was darkness pitted against darkness. But what of darkness borne of good intent – was that different somehow? A desire to protect h
ad been at the root of Gran’s actions, but was that justification enough? How sweet and gentle Gran had been, but at heart perhaps as reckless as Rosamund – the one who’d put pen to paper – and as Jessica, who’d conjured a demon to impress a lover. And perhaps that same trait was in Ruby, hidden deep and biding its time, waiting to surface, truly surface. God knows what other traits she’d inherited from his side, a man who courted evil even before evil had found him. If Theo and Ness failed in their endeavour with Hames, if his abuse became too much and they had to walk away, she only hoped there were enough drugs in the world to keep him subdued on a permanent basis. She also hoped Gran had spoken the truth when she said she’d destroyed Rosamund’s papers; that no one else would discover them; be tempted by them. She didn’t blame Gran, she’d already made her mind up on that, but it was a revelation that love could lead to death and destruction every bit as much as hate.
As they approached the car, they spotted Cash and Corinna hurrying towards them, concern vying with excitement on their faces. Ruby frowned. What on earth did they have to be excited about? Cash was the first to reach them.
“Are you okay?” he asked Ruby.
Unsure what to say, she nodded. “Where’ve you been?”
“To the other side of the estate, like we said.”
Ruby sighed as she looked at Corinna. “How is it there? Has demolition begun?”
“No, Ruby, the building’s still standing!”
“But it’s late afternoon,” declared Theo. “I’d have thought it’d be well under way.”
“We did too,” Cash answered. “We were expecting to see piles of rubble and dust in the air, builders and JCBs everywhere. We were stunned when that wasn’t the case. There were just two men, walking round the perimeter of the building, taking notes, and surveying it. We went up to them, asked what was going on and they told us. Rob Lock himself told us, the boss man. He’s really sound, Ruby, a good bloke. He said someone had got in touch with the council saying they suspected a sett of badgers were living in the building and that it needed to be inspected before demolition. This had delayed things until the following Friday. Lock said they’d already got clearance on bats, but as a legally protected wild animal, badgers needed ruling out too. He didn’t seem annoyed or bothered, just concerned. If he knew about the spirits, definitely knew, I reckon he’d be concerned about them too.”
“Badgers?” Ruby shrugged. “I never saw any evidence of badgers.”
There was a moment of silence and then Theo slapped her thigh. “Badgers!” Her booming voice startled them all. “Badgers and bats!”
“Theo, what are you talking about?” Ness asked her, bewildered.
“Well of course the council would get involved if there’s a reported sighting! I could kick my own backside for not thinking of that. Thank God someone did, though.”
“Yeah, but who?” quizzed Corinna.
Whilst they were pondering, Ruby dug out her mobile phone and downloaded her emails. Plenty came through but it was one in particular she was interested in. The one from Peter Gregory, telling her how sorry he was that she wasn’t his daughter, apologising again for the ‘set-up’ as Ruby had called it, and reiterating how much he had liked her; that he wished it could have turned out differently. He wanted to do one last thing for her, what she’d asked of him. It was he who’d rung the council, not using police influence as such, just a bit of savvy, thereby getting the building that much craved-for stay of execution.
“It was Peter.” Her voice was a whisper as she informed them. “That’s who.”
Cash looked at her. “He’s a good bloke as well.”
He was. He’d turned out to be, not that it was her concern any longer.
“Ruby,” Cash continued, “no one expects you to go in there, not with everything that’s happened, but the rest of us will go. We’ll try and finish the job.”
There were murmurs of hearty agreement from all around: ‘Of course we will’ and ‘Ruby, don’t worry about a thing, just leave it to us.’ She heard what her friends and colleagues were saying, acknowledged it, and then, ultimately, she rejected it.
“I’m going back too. I’m going to fulfil my promise.”
“But your gran…” Corinna began.
“Would want me to do the right thing. She was proud of me and I was proud of her. I’m still proud of her, and grateful for what she tried to do. She moved heaven and earth to keep Mum and me safe. She went to hell and back. I wouldn’t be worthy of calling myself her granddaughter if I didn’t do something similar to save others.”
“Ruby…” There was a frown on Ness’s face just as there was on Theo’s.
“I’m going back,” Ruby reiterated.
“Sarah’s funeral’s on Thursday,” Cash pointed out. “When are you going back? You’re going to be pretty busy beforehand with all the arrangements.”
“Thursday evening,” Ruby answered. “As soon as the funeral’s over.”
“But, darling, you’ll be in no fit state.” There was a plea in Theo’s voice.
Ruby looked at her, looked at them all.
“On the contrary,” she said. “I’ll be in the perfect frame of mind to do the job.”
* * *
Time went back to being a blur. Cash was right, there was indeed a lot to do prior to the funeral, with Ruby carrying out tasks both big and small in what could only be described as a mechanical fashion. Immediately after the visit to Ash Hill, she’d been dropped at her flat with Cash. They’d spent the night there but Ruby honestly couldn’t remember much about it. Cash had been very attentive, that she did remember, Jed had also been very sweet, but it was as though she was removed from the situation, somewhere else entirely. Deciding that might as well be the case, the next morning she informed Cash she’d be going back to Hastings until Thursday.
Straightaway, he offered to go with her. “I can easily work from your gra… mum’s. Oh to hell with it, work can wait. There are more important things in life.”
“Like me?” she replied, her aim to appear tongue in cheek but falling short.
“Of course like you! Ruby, how many times do I have to say it? I was an idiot. Being jealous of Eclipse was just plain stupid, although I have to say, there’s still something really annoying about those bloody puppy-dog eyes of his every time he looks at you. As for all this father stuff,” he paused, his head turning to the side slightly, although she still caught his look of utter sadness, “I guess I didn’t really realise how much my dad leaving us when me and Presley were so young, affected me.” His smile was a wry one. “You know how close me, Mum and Presley are. Even with him gone we never wanted for anything. Mum made sure of that. She worked so hard for us, Ruby, and that makes me sad too; that she had to. And then finding Dad again: realising he’d started another family; had two girls this time; that he was glad to see me, but not so glad that he wanted to keep in touch. His wife found the situation difficult – that was his excuse; he had to put her first, telling me I understood rather than actually asking me. I said I did, even though I didn’t and I walked away. There’s hardly been any correspondence between us since. I didn’t even get a birthday card this year. When you found Peter it brought it all back to the surface, and instead of being happy for you, I envied you. And then…”
“And then look how it turned out, there was nothing to envy after all.”
“Well, yeah. Although I wish it had been otherwise, Ruby, honestly I do. I feel so fucking crap about how I was.”
She reached out, laid a hand on him and said it was okay, that there was no need to feel that way. “Like I’ve said before, it’s our flaws that make us human.”
He held her gaze, but made no reply.
“Cash,” she continued, “I’m going back to Hastings by myself, and Jed too, if he wants. I’ll see you on Thursday though for the funeral and afterwards at Cromer.”
“You’re going back without me? Are you serious?”
“Yes, I am, but it’s not because
I’m angry.” She paused. “It’s not because I’m anything.” Inside her chest it just felt hollow – numbness a protection mechanism she guessed, ensuring she was able to eat, drink and sleep; do all the things she had to do until she could say goodbye to Sarah properly.
He shook his head. “You shouldn’t be on your own.”
“I won’t be on my own, I’ll have Jed as I said, but also Mum, and Saul will probably be there for much of the time as well. They’ve become quite inseparable those two, haven’t they? But that’s a good thing. Mum needs someone.”
“So do you, Ruby, hopefully me. What happened between us, it won’t—”
“This has nothing to do with what happened between us, okay? You needed a bit of space, some time to think, and now so do I. I was upset when you said that but I respected it, I gave you what you asked for, so do the same for me.”
“Ruby…”
“This is not tit for tat, far from it. It’ll be different after Thursday. I hope.”
With not much more to say, she packed a few things, climbed in her car and drove away, Jed indeed accompanying her, sitting on the passenger seat, his manner forlorn rather than excited. Clearly, he was going to miss Cash too.
* * *
Thursday morning arrived all too soon, and the day was a cold but bright one – exactly the kind of day Sarah had loved. As Ruby lay in her old bedroom at Lazuli Cottage, so many memories crowded her mind: she and Gran taking a walk along the beach; shopping in the Old Town; having tea there after school in a favourite café, or buying fish and chips, a Hastings speciality, from opposite the fisherman’s huts, with the seagulls so like Jed, always hovering whenever there was food around. They were such normal times, reminiscent of so many people’s childhoods, with not much to distinguish them at all. Because that’s what Gran had tried to do – keep their lives normal, even though seeing the dead was considered by most to be abnormal. Gran had taught Ruby how to cope with her gift and be ordinary with her friends, but had told her all about the light too; to focus on it as well as on love, compassion and understanding; to never give the darkness a chance. With her mother caught in the grip of depression, it was always Gran who’d guided her; who was there for her; who baked cookies with her; who dropped her off and picked her up from school, and sat and read to her by the fireside. Without Gran life would have been very different, her fate unimaginable. Gran was her hero, and her hero she’d remain. The strongest woman Ruby had ever known. Today was all about Gran; they’d give her a good send-off, the best they could. In the evening, it’d be about something else entirely.
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