Will loomed over me. “How can you say I don’t take you seriously?”
I shook my head. “It’s not just that. I can see you see my point, but what does it matter? It’s only time before Stacy or June or whoever wins.”
Will Langer had never looked so dumbfounded. I pushed out another laugh. “We both know that eventually you’ll need a woman who drinks martinis and drives a BMW and wears heels to work. A woman who would fit in at a fancy gala. La Perla panties should be on your floor, Will. You’ll need a woman who matches you—”
“Olivia.”
“—And I’ll never be her.”
There it is. You said it. My head bowed under the weight of those words.
“What in the proper fuck are you talking about?”
Tears slid down my cheeks too fast to hide, but I threw my head back and gripped his coat. “Just kiss me, Will,” I wept.
Kiss me as often as you can before it all goes away.
Will put his hands on my shoulders. “This conversation isn’t done,” he vowed, but he folded me into his arms.
His mouth yielded to mine and absorbed my frustration in equal stride with my fire. The world didn’t vanish like usual, but the cold inside me warmed considerably.
“What the fuck?”
I jumped out of my skin at my brother’s voice. We whirled to see him in the doorway, fists clenched. My hand flew to my mouth as if that would erase the burn of Will’s lips.
“What the fuck is going on here?” Tom slammed the door so hard the walls shook.
Will met his gaze. “Liv had an emergency at work.”
“So you came over to put your tongue down her throat?”
All three of us cringed as the words flew out of Tom’s mouth, but Will shook his head. “I came to be with her.”
Tom’s teeth ground together as his glare turned to me. “Since when do you call Will for comfort?”
“S-since we… um…”
“Since when?”
“This summer,” I whispered.
“This summer?” Tom roared, and I stepped back. “Are you kidding?”
“Tom, listen,” Will began.
“Shut up, asshole. You’re supposed to be my best friend, and you do this to me? This summer? And you,” he pointed at me. “How could you?”
“Tom, stop please,” I begged. “We never meant to hurt you.”
“Oh? Then why didn’t you tell me?”
“At first it was just a—or, I mean we didn’t…”
I fumbled as Tom flinched and Will inhaled. The implication of my words became too clear too late. “I meant we…”
“You what? Screwed my best friend—in our house, I assume?” He shot a dirty look at Will, but his words were knives with my name on them. “I’ve never judged you, Liv, but god.”
“Careful, Tom.” Will’s stepped forward with a glare. “Liv and I are adults. How we began is our business and not for you to judge.”
I snapped at him before I thought it out. “Really? You defend me now, but you let some lawyer make a fool of me?”
Will spun around, surprise written on his face. “Now isn’t the time.”
“Now seems to be the time for everything we pretended wasn’t a problem. Tom, we didn’t know how to tell you because we went from kind of hating each other to being crazy about each other so fast. Then we were afraid of… well, I guess of this moment.”
Tom sneered. “You lied to me instead. How perfect.” He took a breath, then threw his keys at the wall with a shout. “I cannot believe this.”
“It wasn’t about you, Tom,” Will said quietly. “We were going to tell you this weekend.”
“Oh, sure. What a coincidence.”
“No, because we saw Erin…” I nearly severed my tongue to shut up.
“Erin knows?” Tom barked. “Does everyone know?”
“Not… not Mom and Dad.” I looked down as tears spilled again. “But Megan and Erin—they figured it out. They could see it, Tommy.”
“This is my fault?”
“Of course not. The fault is ours. I’m saying we didn’t have some kind of debut that we didn’t invite you to. It got away from us is all.”
Tom rubbed his face and glanced between us. “What the hell is supposed to happen now, a group hug or some bullshit like that? Because I want none of it.”
“No. We just want you to understand—” Will tried.
“I understand that you’re fucking my sister and I’m supposed to be happy about it, but screw that. You want my blessing? Go to hell. Olivia, I don’t even know what to say to you, how I can begin to trust you after this. And as for you,” Tom pointed at Will. “I want you out of my sight. Twelve years of friendship, man. I thought I knew you.”
“Don’t do that, Tom,” I wailed. “Don’t throw away—”
“Shut up, Liv.”
Will growled. “Don’t talk to her—”
“Don’t speak for me,” I snapped at him. “You and I aren’t good right now, and I don’t need your help.”
The three of us traded wary glances in a triangle of disaster.
Finally, I shook from head to toe with anger and regret. “Fuck this whole scene. A kid almost died in my arms today, and you two are standing there like total dicks.”
I pointed at Will, tears flowing but voice powerful, “Just leave. I don’t want to talk to you, with your little lawyer friend and your function.”
Of all the curses I’d ever spewed, none of them were nearly as venomous as the f-word I just dropped. It was so hateful that both men flinched, but I kept my jaw cocked.
“With the mess we’ve made, maybe you just go on to Chicago and leave me the hell alone to sort out this.”
I turned to my brother. “As for you, Thomas, you want to take a difficult situation and make it as miserable as possible? Bravo, brother. Mission accomplished. I discover the best relationship of my life. Will makes me happier than anyone ever bothered to even try to. On top of that, he’s adored by my family. And you’re going to take it from me. This was the reason I didn’t tell you to begin with. I was afraid you’d be hurt. Then, I was afraid you’d say I wasn’t right for him. But now I see how dumb both of those worries are, how not your business we are.
“So both of you can go fuck yourselves because I don’t have the space for any of this right now.”
I held up two middle fingers, bowed deeply, and took my exit.
My pillowcase absorbed a flood of tears until wretched misery and a soothing soundtrack of The Beatles pulled me into a fitful sleep. I don’t know what happened downstairs, and honestly it didn’t matter to me one bit.
I was a total mess at work on Friday. I’d slept terribly, and my worry about Jackson heaped on my own troubles had me jittery from the moment I rolled out of bed.
But Mrs. Harris called me into a meeting early in the day. While I sat with twisted guts and knotted fingers, she reassured me that Jackson had held stable overnight and was due to be released this morning.
And then she told me I’d saved his life. The EMTs said if I hadn’t turned him on his side, he likely would have died, either from choking on the vomit or from pneumonia if it got in his lungs. I had been collected and ultimately professional under great stress. I was to be commended. I was an asset to the school.
Well, damn.
In typical fashion, Megan was a champion bestie when I showed up at her house straight from work. She did my hair and let me pour out my dramas over whiskey, ice cream, and 80s movies. She even got me to laugh as I bemoaned missing the chance to see Will in a tuxedo. By the end of yoga Saturday morning, I was a little more Liv again thanks to her.
32
Liv
Ben and Celeste’s party was an engagement/Halloween thing at a trendy spot downtown. I wanted to bow out, but Meg threatened me with violence if I didn’t show off my new hair. She’d blended orange and red with the pink to make my ends look like flames. It was perfect for Halloween, so, even though I was in no mood, I
dressed in a simple black sheath and knee-high boots with my trademark MAC in Rebel.
Tom was watching TV when I headed out. He didn’t look up while I got my coat and keys, but he did say, “I apologize for how I spoke to you.”
I nodded.
He still didn’t meet my eyes. “That doesn’t change how I feel about you and him. God, Liv. Of all the possible people, why’d you have to go for Will?”
“I didn’t, Tom. We just happened.”
He grunted. “You’re right it’s your business if you want to be with him, but I don’t want to know about it. I definitely don’t want to see it.”
Bile crept up my throat. “You’re breaking my heart.”
“Broken hearts are life, Liv. Goodnight.”
“I love you, Tommy,” I said finally, refusing to ruin my makeup.
But I love Will too.
I shut the door and decided it was time to woman up and say it to the person who needed to hear it.
The venue was a restaurant and lounge in SoBro that was known for good food and a hot dance floor on the weekends. By the time I arrived, most of our group had already assembled, and the DJ was starting to set up.
Megan greeted me with a kiss on the cheek. “Gurl, you are stone-cold sexy. Who does your hair? And that dress! Me-oww!”
I laughed, but my stomach clenched as I took a seat. I was the only one flying solo that night. Adam and Megan were on my left, Nick and Mel my right, and Ben and Celeste were cozy and adorable at the opposite end. Across from me, Jack Spencer sat with his lady, and even James Addison had a date. I’d never seen her before and doubted I would again, but still.
The problem wasn’t being single. The problem was being without Will. One beer, then off to the Gulch.
But hanging with my friends was always a favorite place to be. Conversation swept me up through dinner. Appetizers, vegetables, pulled pork, and cornbread were delivered on family-style platters while Mel and I discovered a shared love of music. Since I’d barely eaten all day and everything was delicious, I helped myself to seconds and let a little more time pass while we chatted on.
The lights got low as the music started. Ben and Celeste grinned and joined hands. “Come on, guys, it’s time to dance,” Celeste said as they got to their feet.
The rest of the couples were right behind them. Adam asked for my permission to take Megs.
“Go have fun. I’m gonna finish this beer and take off,” I said with a wave.
Megs blew me a kiss, and they disappeared. I started to reach for my bottle when the chair to my left was suddenly occupied.
“Oh. Cam.” You again.
“Lovely to see you, Olivia. It’s been a while. You look fantastic. Different hair, right?”
“Yeah.”
I hadn’t seen Cam since that awkward encounter in the bar across from Will’s, but he showed no hint of recalling how we’d left off. He just winked and sat back to watch the dancers.
Megan’s hands landed on my shoulders. She sat in the chair to my right and grinned. “Hey, I just wanted to check on you. You’re leaving?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I need to talk to him before he leaves for Chicago. But I’m fine. Go have fun, silly.”
She looked over my shoulder. “Who’s that? He looks familiar,” she whispered.
“Just some Chad.” I rolled my eyes, not bothering to turn around.
“You’re sure you don’t want me to sit with you?”
I pointed to where Adam was waiting and put on my Tennessee twang. “Go on, get!”
Megs laughed and squeezed my shoulder once more as she left. I looked back at the spread on the table and frowned. Two bottles of beer sat close together, angled among plates and napkins.
“Wait. Which beer is mine?”
Cam studied the bottles, then lifted one to the light. “Hmm. I think this is mine. Anyway, if I’m wrong, you know I don’t have cooties.”
He grinned, but I cringed. I kissed you four months ago. Let it go already. My beer was a little flat, but I drained it anyway to get my money’s worth.
“So,” Cam said as I set the bottle down, “I didn’t expect you to be alone tonight.”
33
Will
I stared at the dark TV. No point in putting on something I’d have no interest in watching. Besides, the quiet helped me think. Strategize.
Problem was, no strategy seemed to take me where I wanted to be. I couldn’t figure out what path led to my arms wrapped around Liv while we laughed about what a sap I was for being so hopelessly in love with her. No easy road opened that would let me right the colossal fuckups I’d managed to create this week. Stacy and Tom hated me, and I gave not one damn. Liv wasn’t here. She wasn’t here, and it was my fault.
So how the hell do you fix it? You asked her to trust we were worth it, and she’s afraid—
My phone lit up. I jumped to my feet when Liv’s name appeared. “Liv? Listen, I—”
Loud music blared behind her. “Will Langer, we are so, so wrong for each other. I give up. They all win. Goodbye, William. We’re over.”
The line went dead.
Dread thundered through my bloodstream. Not from her words—from the nearly unintelligible slur she’d said them in. I raced through our text history, scanning desperately for the name of the restaurant she’d said we were going to tonight.
You’re not there, asshole. Get there. Something’s wrong.
34
Liv
Blink. Focus.
My phone was in my hand, the screen still lit. Why? Who did I call?
Purple dots swirled on the walls in time with a pounding bass. Bodies moved around me. Right, they’re dancing. I’m dancing too.
Hands held my waist. I moved against him and let my hair swing as we rolled together to the music. Why can’t I see his face? Right, because my eyes are closed. Open up, silly.
Hazel eyes gazed at me as his hands slid to my ass. Our bodies ground harder. Something wasn’t quite right, but I found it hard to care.
“Liv? You okay?”
Turning my head made me dizzy. I saw Nick beside me. Why the frown, buddy? This is fun, right?
I smiled and nodded. “I’m good. I’m great.” My tongue was a little thick. “You good, Nicky?”
Nick frowned again, but before he said anything, I was spun away, deeper into the crowd.
I giggled. “Sorry about him.”
“I don’t care about anything but you, baby.” His hands were all over me.
Holy shit, I am so drunk.
The music changed. I tried to step back, but he wouldn’t let me go. I pressed my hand into his chest to get some space. “I needta pee.”
“Come back quick, okay?”
His face was too close. He smelled like cologne and e-cigarettes. I pushed again. He released me so I could go to the bathroom.
It was small, two stalls, both full. I waited, washing my hands and staring in the mirror. Except for my eyes, everything in the reflection undulated like a fuzzy old TV. How many drinks did I have? How long have I been here?
I touched my cheek, but it was like I’d been shot up with Novocain. I gave myself a little pinch. Are my hands wet or not?
A toilet flushed. I bumped the woman who came out. She glared at me. In my mind, I apologized before shutting the door and dropping to the seat. My head swam as I relieved myself. The other toilet flushed, but I just sat with my forehead on the cool metal of the stall wall, even though I could barely feel it. The Novocain seems to have spread.
Blink again. Did I pass out? How long have I been on this toilet?
All thumbs, I hitched up my panties and stepped out of the stall.
He was leaning against the wall opposite the sink. I did a double-take. Isn’t this the women’s room?
“Got lonely without you, baby. Thought I’d risk it and come see you.”
I laughed while I washed my hands. In the mirror, I saw my eyes and the blur behind me. I dried off with a towel that ripped to s
hreds in my clumsy grip.
His hands caught my waist, his chest against my back. He breathed on my ear. “Sexy Olivia, you know we’ve got chemistry. Why do you keep turning me down?”
Deep in my fuzzy brain, an alarm went off. I opened my eyes.
Fingers clamped tighter on my hips, and alarm number two blared. I tried to stand up straight, shaking my head no. Dammit, why is my tongue so thick?
His fingers moved along my thighs. I was pressed into the counter so hard it hurt.
“N-n-n,” I tried to speak again, shaking my head.
“You don’t mean no, do you?”
Hell yes I mean no. I shook my head. It was the wrong answer to the question he’d asked.
“Good. After the first time we made out, I knew you wanted me.”
His hands were all over me. On the dance floor, that passed as a move. Now, panic began to rise in my throat. In the mirror, my eyes were still the only thing in focus, wide and fearful. I bared my teeth to confirm that my face was still numb, but he spun me around.
“Stop,” I tried to say.
He grinned. “What do you want me to do to you, baby? Start with a kiss?”
I swayed backward as he plunged his tongue into my mouth. When he pulled away, he pried one of my hands from the sink and guided me into his jeans. “Touch me. You know you want to.”
I deserve to have what I want.
The thought floated up through the murk of my brain. I inhaled deeply to center the hurricane of delirium inside me. My palm closed around his hardness. He started to moan.
Until I squeezed and didn’t stop, then twisted my wrist.
“The fuck are you doing?”
He shoved me away so hard I stumbled. I flailed in a pathetic attempt to slap him, but he spun me to face the mirror again. His fingers raked up my thighs. Through fear and fog, I knew I was running out of time.
The dark brown eyes in the mirror screamed at me to sober up. Krav Maga moves began to flip through my head. I focused hard on remembering what I knew.
Nemesis Page 22
