by Elise Faber
Heidi winced.
Kate gasped. “I thought you guys were into—”
“The existential crisis of the white man?” Cora said. “Not so much. Especially when the first half is about how difficult their lives are.”
“It’s difficult having all that power,” Heidi muttered.
“It was at the top of the bestseller’s list and—”
Cora gasped. “You didn’t read it either! You bitch!”
Kate bit her lip, cheeks turning pink. “No,” she admitted. “Honestly, I suggested it as a joke and couldn’t believe you guys agreed to it.”
Heidi smacked her. “I spent fifteen bucks on the ebook! Fifteen! What the hell!”
Kelsey snorted.
Her friends looked at her, Cora beyond affronted, Kate blushing though her expression was quietly mischievous, and Heidi’s eyes sparking with frustration.
“I love you guys,” she said and felt a tear streak down her cheek.
The book by a well-known asshole, albeit a damned good prank on quiet Kate’s part, was forgotten and her friends all began talking at once.
“Tears, Kels? Holy shit, did you get fired?” Heidi.
“Is your family okay?” Kate.
“Tanner.” Cora.
She sucked in a shuddering breath and released it, dashing the tear away and thankful that one of the very few social things she’d learned during her time in college was how to put on makeup that stayed. The older girls had thrown her a solid. Big time. Big—
“Kelsey!”
She blinked and stepped back on the conversational road. “Sorry,” she murmured. “Family is fine. Great actually. Devon and Becca had their baby, and I’m going shopping with Rachel soon for stuff to wear on her honeymoon. Work is busy but good.”
“Which leaves Tanner,” Cora said.
“Who’s Tanner?” Kate asked.
Kelsey didn’t know where to begin, but as usual, Cora had her covered. She shoved the book aside and filled Heidi and Kate’s glasses. “Tanner is Bas’s friend, and Kels has been in love with him for her entire existence.”
“Not entire,” she muttered.
“Okay, since she was eight years old and Tanner helped her get a Band-Aid or something.”
“It was a Band-Aid and ice,” Kelsey corrected. “And my mom.”
“Aw,” Kate murmured.
“How come we’ve never heard about Tanner?” Heidi asked.
“There was no point,” Kels said. “We were together one summer, for a couple of months. He dumped me and left the country and hasn’t been back for nine years.”
“But we’ve been friends for nine years,” Heidi protested.
“Part of the reason I went back for my post-doc was because of him. I needed something to fill my time.”
Cora rolled her eyes. “Only you would consider getting a PhD as something to fill your time outside of a normal forty-hour workweek.”
“Well,” Kate said, reaching across the booth and squeezing Kels’s hand. “Whatever reason you went back to school, I’m glad you ended up in my path.” She smiled. “I got a good friend out of it.”
Cora rolled her eyes again. “Stop being sappy,” she snapped. “You’re making us look bad.”
“You’re the worst,” Kate snapped.
Heidi sighed. “Can we focus on why Tanner and Kelsey only lasted a few months?”
Kels shrugged. “Things were good, or so I thought. Inseparable for almost the whole summer, but then adulthood was calling, and my job had started, and I wanted us to tell my family. At first, sneaking around was fun, but eventually I wanted us to just be a real couple, you know?”
“Seems reasonable,” Kate said.
“I thought so, too, and I thought he was on board. I suggested it, he agreed, but then the next day he called and broke up with me.” Kels took a sip of her beer. “Then he left the country and didn’t come back.”
“For how long?” Heidi asked.
“He came back two days ago because he’s in Bas’s wedding. Apparently, he’s been keeping touch with my brother but not me.”
“Well, he was Bas’s friend first,” Cora said. “It makes sense that they’d stay friends.”
“That’s it!” Kate exclaimed.
“What?”
“He must be hung up on the fact that Bas is your brother.”
“That’s stupid,” Kelsey said.
Cora considered for a moment. “Stupid on his part, yes, but it is feasible. Men get stupid when it comes to sisters.”
Considering that Cora had six brothers, Kelsey figured she understood the concept well. And she supposed it could be true, though she’d never considered the fact that the reason Tan had left was because of his relationship with her brothers. Given Bas’s tendency towards aloofness when he’d been younger, she’d always just figured Tanner’s interest had been there, but he’d waited until she was old enough. He and Devon had been close, too, but Dev was older and not home much. He’d been as engaged as he could be, of course. Just as a professional athlete, he hadn’t had a ton of time for her or the rest of the family.
But Tanner had. He always had.
He’d been at her house sometimes more frequently than her own brothers.
She’d always figured that was because of her. But what if it hadn’t been? What if he only wanted her because of her family?
She groaned and plunked her head on the table.
“What?” Cora asked.
“He’s an only child. His parents are shit. Mine basically took him in when he was in middle school.”
“Oh,” Kate and Heidi said, though this wasn’t news to Cora.
“He didn’t have something to lose if things went wrong with you, Kels,” she said. “He had it all to lose.”
Kelsey glared up at Cora. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
Cora put her hands up in surrender. “We were eighteen. I didn’t exactly have a wealth of experience with boys back then.”
True. Considering she was the youngest of six very protective brothers and her dad had passed shortly after she’d been born, that was exceptionally true. Cora had barely been allowed to go to prom, and that was only because Kelsey had gone as her date. Her brothers continued to meddle in her life to this day.
“Sorry,” she said, bumping Cora’s shoulder with her own.
“Not offended. But now that we all know what happened in the past, it’s time to talk about the present.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Technically what happened with Tanner was two days ago, so that is the past, too, and I’d just as soon pretend it never happened.”
Heidi pfted. “In what world do you think we’d let you get away with that?”
Kels turned sad eyes to Kate, but even her sweet friend didn’t soften. “Dish,” she said. “Now.”
“Ugh. Guys!” Kels’s cheeks got hot just thinking about what had happened. “It’s so embarrassing.”
“More than me puking on my boss’s shoes?” Kate asked.
“Yes.”
“How about me having two too many beers and then puking on the hot, tattooed bartender?” Heidi asked.
“Yes,” Kels snapped. “And you’re lucky he let you back in here. Bobby’s is the shit, and it would suck infinitely to have to find a new place to hang out.”
“I bought him an entire new outfit,” she admitted, “and promised to only have one beer a night for the rest of my time in Bobby’s.” They all glanced toward the bar, where sexy as sin, Kace, reigned supreme. He lifted a brow, lips curving the slightest bit, but then he returned his attention to his work. Though, Kels watched a little longer, maybe he was pretending to work because—
“He’s got a thing for the redhead working in the corner,” Cora murmured. “Wouldn’t have thought she was his type.”
“Lucky girl,” Kate said.
Heidi just sighed, and it was all jealous.
Kelsey knew the feeling, though she thought sun-kissed photojournalists were more her spee
d. She picked up her cell. “Oops,” she said. “I forgot I have a conference call in the morning. I should—”
“Don’t get distracted, girls,” Cora declared. “She’s trying to give us the slip.”
Kate shook her head. “Tomorrow is Saturday, babe. Even you don’t work on Saturdays.”
“I—”
Heidi pointed a finger at her. “You. Share your embarrassing tale of woe now or so help me, God, I’ll make next month’s book an autobiography.”
Kels shuddered.
“I’ll do it,” Heidi pressed.
She would and since it was her month to pick, they all had to shut up and take it. Ugh. What a metaphor in a time like this. When all she’d wanted to do was shut up and take it from Tan. But that wasn’t happening.
“Fine,” she said and began detailing the entire sordid tale. By the time she got to the point of taking off her bra and stepping out of her panties, her friends were gaping at her. “Then I walked into the bedroom, expecting him to come right after me.”
Cora’s voice was quiet. “He didn’t?”
“No.” Kels’s eyes prickled again. “I waited and then I heard the door shut. When I peeked back in the hallway, he was gone.”
“Oh shit,” Kate said.
“Yeah.” She pressed her hands to her cheeks. “The thought of seeing him again, after him just leaving . . . I don’t know how to cope with that.”
“Not to be an asshole,” Cora said. “But, for Bas’s sake, you’re going to have to figure out a way.”
Kels groaned. “I know.” She plunked her head back down onto the table. “So, what’s the play? I pretend nothing happened?”
“Hell no.” Cora.
“Yes.” Kate.
“Yes and no.” Heidi.
Kelsey looked up at her friend. “Explain yourself.”
“From what I’ve heard, it sounds as though Tanner really likes you—”
She snorted, disbelieving.
“He wouldn’t have kissed you if he didn’t like you,” Heidi pointed out. “And he kissed you first, so that’s big. It means he’s into you, even if he doesn’t want to be.”
“Great. Ringing endorsement.” She leaned back in the booth and crossed her arms. Into her even though he doesn’t want to be. Perfect. Such a confidence booster.
“Shut up and listen,” Kate said, and that snapped her out of her pity party, because Kate wasn’t tough and rarely lost her cool. If she was telling Kelsey to focus, she should do just that.
“It’s the typical tortured hero,” Heidi said, speaking of one of their favorite romance tropes. “Tough past. Scared of bringing that into the future, so he either lashes out to push the heroine away or he does everything in his power to keep his distance.” She picked up her glass and took a large swallow, looking awfully proud of herself.
As she should be.
Kels sat up straight.
“He did both,” she said, stunned. “Pushed me away and ran.”
“And this time he ran again,” Cora said. “So the pushing away might be coming next.”
Fuck. “That’s true.”
“What you need to decide,” Kate said, “is if he’s worth trying to force your way through the barricades and fire he’s going to put in your path.”
“And,” Heidi said. “This isn’t a book. It’s real-life. Happy endings aren’t guaranteed. Which means you may put yourself out there and not get the guy in the end.”
Kels traced her finger along the outside of her glass. “You all are sure building my confidence tonight.”
“If you wanted confidence building, you wouldn’t be friends with us,” Cora said. “We love you, but we always give it to each other straight. No bullshit.”
Kelsey sighed. “So basically, I need to decide if pursuing things with Tanner is worth my potentially getting my heart stomped on again.”
“Or run over by a train.” Kate
“Or put through a blender and making a heartbreak smoothie.” Heidi.
“Or having your ass hanging out there where none of us can do a damned thing to protect it from getting spanked.” Cora.
“Cruel, but true,” she said to Kate. “Gross.” To Heidi. “And thanks for putting it in that particularly poetic way.” Cora. She sighed, finished off her beer then picked up her glass of water. “Now, can we please talk about something else aside from my embarrassing as shit naked exploits?”
“How about we talk about that time you got locked out of your apartment with three gallons of ice cream and tried to eat them all so they wouldn’t melt while you waited for the super?” Cora put in helpfully.
Kels shook her head, but she was smiling. “You guys really are the worst.”
“And if by worst, you mean the best, then yes.”
Thankfully, Kate took pity on her and changed the subject to Outlander—which Kels was now caught up on, thanks to the all-nighter she’d pulled after Tanner’s escape act on Wednesday—and they spent the next few hours discussing all the merits of Jamie and Claire and how the show compared to the books thus far.
Getting lost in the fictional world of her favorite highlander meant that by the time they were walking out of Bobby’s, Kelsey felt much more like herself again.
Or at least she wasn’t going to expire of embarrassment.
She said goodbye to her friends then drove back into the City and to her apartment, but the quiet of the road brought everything back into the forefront of her mind again.
Tanner was her weak spot. He always had been.
And she’d demonstrated that fact quite clearly—cough, painfully—after he’d been back in town for only a few hours.
Her hands tightened on the steering wheel. Fucking pathetic.
Her. Him. The whole situation.
This wasn’t a fairy tale. She couldn’t fix him. And frankly . . . she didn’t want to have that kind of responsibility. She’d been destroyed by his issues once, and that was more than enough. Or maybe it was less that he had issues and more that he didn’t want her. Or want her enough to deal with the flack that was sure to come from her brothers.
That thought was almost as painful as the embarrassment she’d felt from his leaving her naked and wanting.
It also reinforced the fact that she needed to get her head on straight, to keep her heart safe.
And to make a commitment to never get naked in front of Tanner Pearson again.
Decision made.
Her ass would be staying safely in her pants from here on out.
Eight
Tanner
He woke with a start, hard and aching and sweating, his cock about two seconds from exploding all over his stomach.
A wet dream.
About Kelsey.
It wouldn’t be the first time he’d had one.
Or even the first one this month.
But it was the first time he’d had one and hadn’t woken up without at least having finished. Embarrassingly, he was disappointed by that fact, disappointed that he couldn’t share an orgasm with Kelsey, even in his dreams.
“Shit,” he muttered, and because it was four in the morning, because he was jet-lagged and throbbing, he gripped the length of his erection and started stroking. Pink-tipped nipples, turquoise lace, lips that had parted the moment his had touched hers, a tongue that wasn’t shy as it had stroked against his. Long legs around his hips, hands in his hair, a husky moan in the back of her throat—
He came for a long time, cock pulsing, spine bowing, sweat dripping down his temples into his hair.
“Fuck.”
Tanner reached over to the nightstand and grabbed the box of tissues he’d started keeping there. Like a fucking teenager. Christ, next thing he knew, and he’d be keeping some lotion there as well. To prevent chafing.
Cute.
Sighing, he pushed out of bed.
The jet lag was getting better, even if he was up at 4:16 in the morning. He was used to early mornings, used to getting up before the sun rose and g
etting into position to capture the best light.
But there wasn’t a reason to get up anymore.
He’d stopped taking new contracts a year ago, had told his agent to no longer send him queries because he was taking an indefinite break.
Something Tom wasn’t the least bit happy about since he got a percentage of every contract. But Tan didn’t give a shit at this point. He’d worked his way up from taking photos at family and friends’ events to traveling on a shoestring budget, picking something that struck him as compelling to capture then hoping like hell he might find someone who might want to buy his photographs. Eventually, he’d landed Tom and become in high demand for nature magazines. But after a portrait he’d snapped of a friend of a friend—who’d turned out to be a famous celebrity he didn’t know because he spent most of his life away from the Internet—he’d been asked to take photos for various industry events and high fashion magazines.
He’d done it all.
Because he’d been hungry to prove himself.
But also because he’d been motivated to forget.
Then Kelsey had called him.
It had all begun unraveling then. He’d started dreaming of her at eighteen, of their time together—and not just sex dreams because he wasn’t a total pervert. He’d remembered curling up on the couch, sharing a bowl of popcorn and laughing like loons at some comedy he probably wouldn’t find funny nowadays. He remembered the way her smile used to change, just minutely, when she met his eyes, as though she held him in a special place in her heart.
And he remembered what he’d said to her to push her away.
The way her breathing had hitched when he’d wounded her.
For years he’d tried to forget it all, to bury it in work.
And a thirty-second phone call had made him realize how absolutely useless all the years of hiding had been. He’d never been able to get her out of his heart or brain. He had the feeling he never would.
Suddenly the fast-paced cities he was photographing in Asia had seemed dull, the beautiful beaches and ocean uninspired, the people faceless. Tan had gotten the necessary shots, had done his job because he was a fucking professional, but he’d hated every single moment of it.
