by J. P. James
I want to bask in the feeling a while longer, not to mention enjoy a much needed rest, but my breath stills when Ricky comes back into the living room. He’s smiling, but his eyes are sad.
Hudson gets up first, but I follow the next second.
“What is it?” Hudson tries, dropping his epee on the couch.
Ricky moves silently across the room. He plops onto the loveseat, setting his phone on the armrest.
“That was the casting director. I didn’t get the part. They said they’d keep me in mind for future projects,” he tells us.
Hudson sits back down, but I walk over to Ricky. I sit on the other armrest, bringing my hand to his neck and rubbing it gently.
“One of these days, you’ll land the part,” I promise him, even though it’s not my promise to keep.
Ricky makes a gruff sound in the back of his throat, pushing the assurance aside.
“I hope so. I wonder if I’ll be a waiter forever, like that woman in the diner. They’ll bury me behind Florian’s and leave me scraps instead of flowers,” he jokes, but I can hear the hint of fear behind his words.
Hudson catches our attention when he slides off the couch, and comes to sit on the floor, leaning back against the cushions.
“If anyone knows how to handle rejection, it’s you,” Hudson says with a small smile. “After all, you’re the guy jilted at his own wedding.”
My eyes go wide. What the fuck, Hudson? We can’t joke about that, not yet!
But then I hear laughter to my side, and I see a tear spring to Ricky’s eye as he struggles to breathe properly. Hudson joins him, rubbing his face as he loses control.
“Am I the only one that thinks that joke is too soon?” I ask the giggling pair.
They both nod, wiping their eyes.
“Come on, Hayden. It’s a little bit funny,” Ricky chuckles. “If I can’t laugh about it, I think I’ll go crazy.”
I chuckle a little bit, seeing how goofy Ricky and Hudson are, and how silly they make me want to be too.
Ricky stops laughing but his smile burns brighter than ever. “Thank you for everything you guys, and not just letting me stay here and get back on my feet. For the first time in years, I feel like I’m free to be me. Or at least, figure out who me is.”
He slides down the loveseat too, matching Hudson’s position. I slide too, but into the loveseat as my legs drape over either side of Ricky’s shoulders. His hands come to my shins, and hold me in place as he muzzles into my knees.
“Did you know Shakespeare was bisexual?” Hudson says out of the blue.
Ricky and I both lift our heads, clearly confused but for different reasons.
“He was?” Ricky asks.
“Since when do you know anything about Shakespeare?” I accuse him.
Hudson looks at his lap. “Since Ricky got here, I thought I’d brush up on my theater knowledge. I just scroll through the internet here and there, and it came up in a few lectures.”
Ricky stops nuzzling my leg to look straight on at Hudson. I can’t see his eyes. Judging by the tightening grip on my leg, he has some pretty strong feelings about Hudson learning Shakespearian factoids.
“That means more to me than you know,” Ricky says, his voice low and gravely. “Not to mention, it’s insanely hot.”
His words run over me like hot rain, leaving drops of heat along my skin. I run my hand through his hair again, my nails digging lightly at the skin of his scalp.
“That feels amazing,” he groans. He leans his head back, catching my eyes with his.
And fuck, Ricky’s eyes aren’t the most beautiful shade of brown. They’re deep, sincere, and full of blind optimism. Deep down, he looks settled. I hope that some of that has to do with us.
I lean down and kiss him before he has a chance to turn away. It’s hard not to jump him now that he’s started exploring his sexuality. He makes me want to explore too. I want to hold him everywhere we go, and kiss him until I can’t breathe.
Impossible things, but I dare to dream. I pull away before I do run out of air, and look at Ricky as he enjoys the moment, eyes closed and lips puckered for more.
“I want to try something,” he whispers.
He opens his eyes again, and I see that desire to explore. It catches fire, and burns like rich amber.
“What is it?” Hudson asks.
Ricky tilts his head to face Hudson, but doesn’t move out of my grasp. Instead, he swallows thickly and shakes off the extra nerves.
“I love fencing because swords are kind of dangerous, you know? There’s something thrilling about it. You’re facing a weapon that can inflict real damage, and you have to trust your instincts and your training.”
Hudson nods, his eyes flicking quickly to mine and back down. “Go on.”
Ricky grabs my arm, and tugs. I lean over him, watching carefully as he drapes my arm across his neck.
“I trust you guys more than anyone else. I have this scene in my head,” he says, taking in a shaky breathe and letting it out. “I want one of you to threaten me with your sword. I want the other to tease me.”
I take my arm away from Ricky, and he pivots to look at me. His eyes plead for me to stay, or I don’t move from my spot on the loveseat.
“That’s a big step, Ricky,” I tell him.
“Are you absolutely sure,” Hudson asks.
Ricky turns back to him, seeing his hard but otherwise unreadable expression. His arms are crossed, and he looks like a steel lock.
Ricky jerks his head up and down, his head dancing from side to side to look at us. “I know I’m safe with you guys. I know you won’t hurt me. Please.”
He gets on his knees, and crawls over to my saber before I can wrap my head around what’s about to happen. His eyes don’t leave mine as he comes back, and places the blade in my lap.
“I know I want this, but is this something you’re comfortable with too?” He asks me, before looking back at Hudson.
I fight the heady fog clouding my senses, trying to grasp the turn of events. Hudson and I have our kinks, and so did Danny, but we’ve never done something like this.
“Even though we know what we’re doing, Ricky, this is more than just a toy,” Hudson says calmly.
Ricky nods, and touches the side of the blade with his fingers.
“I know it’s not a toy. It may be blunt, but it’s still a weapon. I respect that, and I still want to try this out,” he confirms.
Hudson gulps, licking his lips but I can see that’s not going to quench his burning skin.
“I want to try this too,” he says.
His eyes flick to mine, and then Ricky’s turn too.
My brain clicks to life, and I grip the hilt firmly in my hand.
My other arm comes down fast around Ricky’s chest, dragging him against the side of the loveseat between my legs. He faces Hudson, his lungs working overtime as he sinks against me.
I bring my weapon over him and hold it hard against the base of his neck. His breath catches, and for a moment he doesn’t move or breathe. I lean in close, my lips brushing against the shell of his ear.
“You’re my hostage now,” I tell him, “and we’re going to have our way with you.”
Ricky squirms below me, his legs shifting. I can see the outline of his crotch. His pants tent, even as he struggles under me.
Hudson gets off the ground, and walks slowly towards Ricky. Ricky watches as he kneels. His hands come to Ricky’s knees, and firmly push his legs farther apart.
“Yes, sir,” Ricky whimpers below me.
The sound goes to my cock, and another wave of adrenaline pumps through my body. I grip Ricky even harder, my arm squeezing his chest while my saber presses into the side of his neck.
I won’t hurt him. He’s giving us complete control and there’s no way I’m going to mess this up.
Hudson undoes Ricky’s fly, dragging the metal notch by notch so slowly that Ricky whines on the final click. Hudson dips his head down, mouthing over R
icky’s cock through his boxer briefs.
“Oh my god,” Ricky whispers, his voice shaking.
I clutch his tighter, and he groans in response.
“You’re so needy,” I hiss against his hair. “Your cock wants attention so badly, but that isn’t your choice. It’s ours.”
Ricky pushes against the blade and cries out at the pressure. My own cock is already half-hard, making the extra space in my jeans practically vanish.
Hudson pulls back and takes his own cock out of his pants. He strokes it, watching Ricky as he whimpers and whines in my arms.
“Please, I need your cock,” he begs.
I pull his hair. He cries out again, his head pulled back and my saber chasing it. I find Ricky’s eyes, and it makes my stomach lurch. His eyes show how vulnerable he is right now, and yet, there’s the sparkle of happiness there too. He wants this, something he wasn’t sure he could have, and now it’s in his grasp.
I bend down to take his mouth in mine, pushing my weapon down to hold it against his chest. He moans into my mouth, his tongue losing the fight as mine circles his relentlessly.
When he groans louder, I pull back to see what Hudson did. Hudson, bless him, pulled Ricky’s cock out too, and is stroking himself and Ricky at the same time.
“Please, I need more,” Ricky says, breathless.
Hudson stops stroking and looks at me. A small smile graces his face, and it’s enough to have me spring into action.
I drop my sword and pull Ricky and me up. Still my hostage, I pull him to the middle of the living room. I throw him down, and he blinks as I undo my pants. His eyes are entranced, trying to capture every moment like a picture. I lie on the ground, my cock ramrod straight and ready for action.
“Fuck yourself on me,” I demand.
Ricky gulps, but before he moves, Hudson is already on his feet. Hudson runs to the bedroom, and on the way out, grabs his epee.
With one hand, he throws a bottom of lube at my side, and with the other, he directs his weapon at Ricky, holding it between his eyes.
“You heard him,” he says, “Fuck yourself now.”
Ricky pulls his pants off quickly, shoving them out of sight and out of mind. He straddles my legs, and waits for my move. I pour the lube generously over my cock, slicking it up until it is nice and wet. With careful touches, I massage the lube into Ricky’s hole. He stutters at the first touch, but eases into it as my fingers play along his rim. When I pull away, he takes a deep breath and lowers himself over the tip of my cock.
The instant my tip touches his rim, both of us moan sinfully into the apartment. I grip Ricky’s hip, giving him added support as he pushes.
“Easy, now,” I remind him, “breathe and go slowly.”
Ricky does just that. He keeps breathing, even as my cock stretches his rim beyond comprehension. His fingers dig into my thighs, and the burn mixes with the pleasure circling my dick.
Hudson pads closer once Ricky bottoms out. His dick in hand, he tugs at it and watches Ricky cautiously.
“Fuck,” he growls.
Ricky smiles and his eyes beg for what in front of him.
I know Ricky will have to do a lot of the work in this position, so I feel the need to help him out. I shift us gently until I lift my hips half a foot off the ground. Hudson and I nod, and then at the same time, I drag my cock out of Ricky’s ass as Hudson pushes his into Ricky’s mouth.
The filthiest mewl I’ve ever heard escapes Ricky’s mouth, muffled by the girth of Hudson’s erection. Still, he wants more. He tries slowly to push down on me as well, but I fight to keep him from overworking himself.
We pump in and out of him to the same rhythm. We take him apart piece-by-piece and promise to put him back together. He’s doing the same to us, whether or not he believes it. He trusts us with his body, his pleasure, and there’s little we can do to repay that kind of loyalty.
We come one after the other, Ricky, and then myself, and Hudson last, each of us finding our way back home.
14
Ricky
Three months later…
“And I, forsooth, in love! I, that have been love's whip,” I recite, holding the script at arm’s length as I pace the living room.
Hayden and Hudson are on the couch, playing video games with their headphones in while I rehearse for my next audition. The twins are many things, but lovers of Shakespeare they are not. Hudson continues to search theater references and classic plays, but even he has his limits. I’d say listening to me botch Love’s Labour’s Lost is one of them. I feel the same way about Tekken, but to each their own.
They’re sweet though. They offered to listen to me rehearse, but I put them out of their misery when I looked up from my script to see Hudson drooling on Hayden’s shoulder. Seriously, how someone can look hot with literal drool on his face? It’s beyond me.
My tongue might be in one giant knot, but repeating Shakespeare’s words for the millionth time finally does something. It’s like a light switch turns on in my brain. The lines go from being mere ink on paper, to having real emotion and weight attached to them.
I thought I was in love with Janine, and maybe part of me was, but it’s taken all these months to realize that I was also running from love. I thought I couldn’t have what I wanted. I didn’t even let myself explore the option because of internalized homophobia and my own insecurities. It took a disastrous wedding and two perfect gentlemen to change that for me.
At some point during that first week, it became obvious that I didn’t want to move out. Lucky for me, Hayden and Hudson practically refused to let me move either. The day they officially asked me to live with them was also the day they asked me to be their boyfriend. I know it should feel fast, because it is, but it was also an easy decision to make. We’ve always been by each other’s side. We care about each other and love each other. It doesn’t feel like much has changed since we already had that connection, but in a way, our connection has deepened. We’re finally exploring the feelings we’ve had for each other all these years.
We didn’t tell anyone at first, and no one questioned me staying at their place. Finding an apartment in the city is a fulltime job, so everyone assumed I was still finding my legs while I picked up the pieces of my life. Eventually though, we told close friends. Jordan and Jameson know, and therefore Fyre does too. I’m pretty sure Sean knows now, along with a few other coworkers. He suspected something was going on when I visited, but didn’t want to make any of us uncomfortable. Sean is a good guy, and it doesn’t surprise me at all that his career involves helping others.
While Hayden and Hudson have told their close friends, I actually haven’t told any of mine yet. I don’t know what’s holding me back, but I’m also fine with the way things are now. I want to enjoy it privately a while longer, before I throw the twins headfirst into my messy life. I wouldn’t change a thing though.
They continue to surprise me, but when they encouraged my love of acting, I thought they were joking. Most people are, especially when they learn my age. Acting is for kids and celebrities. Mr. Lindsay laughed when I told him I wanted to pursue acting. Before the wedding, I think he was bidding his time. He probably wanted me to join his company, if for no other reason than to keep me under his wing and Janine happy. Hayden and Hudson are different. They tell me I won’t be a waiter forever. They swear I’ll make it work, because acting is my passion. Not once have they asked me to get my head out of the clouds or to get a real job. They stand by my choices because they care.
It still catches me off guard, how surreal and yet how normal this all feels. Being with them is exhilarating and calming all at once. I can take bigger risks, knowing that I’m safe with them. I’m happy. I think I might even be falling in love.
A booming knock on the front doors shatters my daydreams and causes me to drop my script.
“I’ll get it,” Hayden calls, pulling his headset off and padding towards the door.
I collect my script, ready to give it ano
ther go. Then again, I did spend the last ten minutes reliving old memories. I should take that as a sign to call it a night.
“Don’t worry, babe,” I tell him, throwing the script on the kitchen counter. “I need a break. I’ll get it.”
Hayden pauses in the hallway, waiting for me to cross his path. I wish I could say the person on the other side of the door is my reason for picking up the pace, but it’s Hayden’s smile that has me kick up speed.
I lean up and kiss him sound on the mouth. He takes my hips in his hands, holding me still and pressing himself firmly against me. I meant it to be a quick peck, but it last seconds too long to be quick. I’m not complaining in the least.
“You’re doing great,” he says when I pull back. “I have a good feeling about tomorrow’s audition.”
There it goes again. My stupid heart flutters in my chest. It screams what I already know. These guys are perfect.
“Thank you,” I whisper, pulling away reluctantly. I’d keep kissing him if another round of insistent knocks didn’t echo through the apartment.
“Coming,” I shout moments before my hand lands on the doorknob. The door sticks sometimes, so I give it a good jerk and watch as the door swings wide open.
“Can I help you,” I say before my eyes settle on the woman in front of me.
Janine looks good. Her hair’s shorter. It’s not as short as Sarah’s is but the cut is especially trendy and styled with fresh bangs. Her cheeks are rosy. She used to say she has the most sensitive skin, and any change in the weather colors her face. I never noticed before, but she looks like she’s glowing.
“Can I come in?” She asks quietly, her feet ready to pounce but she stays where she is.
I open and close my mouth, and then look over my shoulder at the guys. They must see something on my face – fear, confusion, indigestion – something, because they take their headsets off and walk closer instantly.
