Deceptive (The Houston Defiance MC Series Book 6)
Page 21
Texas was fucking right, and that pains me.
Texas was my friend, my brother, and I ignored him.
I should have listened when he tried to warn me.
My head is spinning while I stand here, trying to catch my damn breath.
The fact Billie just killed Rage doesn’t mean a thing.
She betrayed the club.
She betrayed my trust.
She betrayed me.
Zero steps forward, signaling to Texas and Chains. They both grab Billie, and her eyes widen in shock as Texas takes the knife away from her and throws it to the floor. They restrain her, and she exhales like she knows what’s coming.
“Billie… we let you into the club, into our home… you were one of us. Our friend. Our family. You broke that trust. You betrayed us in the most vicious of ways.”
Billie sniffles. “I know. I don’t want y’all to think this was easy for me. It killed me every single fucking day I was here knowing I was betraying you. But Rage was so clear, so adamant about what would happen if I didn’t do exactly as he said.”
Zero curls up his lip. “What did he make you do?”
Billie sags, her eyes dropping to the floor. “Snoop, for starters. I broke into Neon’s den and found out y’all were tracking Rage’s cell. I told him so he could do something about it.”
Neon snaps his head to Billie and scowls. “You broke into my den?”
“While everyone was asleep. Rage had an app on my cell that gained me access to your den and disable your alarm. Actually, Cherry nearly caught me coming out.”
Cherry scoffs. “That night at the bar?”
Billie drops her chin.
Cherry turns her back to Billie like she can’t stand to even look at her.
I’m not sure I can stand her either.
“What else?” Zero grunts.
“Rage gave me a recording device, a—”
“Fucking pen!” Zero interrupts, running his hand through his hair.
“A pen…” Billie concurs.
“I knew there was something off about that fucking thing during church, but there were more pressing matters than to worry about a stupid pen I hadn’t seen before. I should have trusted my gut!”
Billie grimaces. “I swapped it with your pen, and then you took it into church with you. The recordings then went directly to Rage, so he knew what you were discussing.”
Zero shakes his head in his aggravation. “The distribution center?” Billie nods. “Phantom and Koda?” She exhales, glancing at me, then nods again.
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
Nausea makes me want to hurl.
Or throw something.
Or drink a gallon of Jack.
Maybe all three, and not in that order.
Zero grits his teeth. “The attack on the clubhouse. You knew that was coming before they came?”
Billie hesitates, a tear falling down her cheek tells me everything I need to know. “Yes,” it comes out a breathy whisper.
“Shame… I liked you, Billie. You had potential to do good here. But betrayal of this magnitude can’t go unpunished.”
“I understand. I just want to say I’m truly sorry and…” she turns to face me, “… I love you all. I mean that.”
Clenching my eyes tight, I turn away from her and take a deep breath, my muscles tightening, feeling like every part of me is about to implode. The pain in my body has been overtaken by the pain of betrayal, so I feel nothing. My breathing quickens so much like I’m hyperventilating as my pulse rapid fires. Sweat beads on my forehead, and I reach out, bracing myself against the beam for support. I don’t know if I can handle this shit much longer.
“Billie, because you’re a Heathen, and because of the nature of the betrayal, I have no alternative but to sentence you to death at the hands of the club.”
My stomach rolls, my body sagging.
I don’t know how to feel right now.
But I know enough to understand I don’t want her to die.
Spinning with so much gusto, I almost fall over while my heart pounds out of my chest. “Zero, wait!”
Everyone turns to me, including Billie, who appears like she has accepted her fate.
Zero’s hard eyes meet mine. “Remember that favor you owe me from bringing Prinie home from the hospital?” Zero’s expression falls. “I’m calling it in. Let Billie live. I am not above begging so… please!”
Zero hesitates, glancing at Wraith, then back to me. “Do you know what you’re doing? What you’re asking?”
Rubbing the back of my neck, I pant for breath I just can’t seem to catch. “No. I have no fucking clue. All I know is I don’t want to watch Billie die. Fuck knows why right now because I can barely even look at her, but I don’t want her dead.”
“She made you a fool. She made this club look like amateurs, and you’re willing to risk it all for someone like that?”
“I have to.”
Zero grunts. “You were the one who reamed me a new asshole when I put a bug in her room. You were the one who discussed fucking trust. Why the hell should I go out on a limb for you now?”
“Because, Zero, your word is your bond. I know you don’t break that cardinal rule. And even though Billie hurt the club, she cares about us all.”
Zero shakes his head like he doesn’t want to hear any of this. “You’re my brother, Phantom, that will never change. But her, she means nothing to me… less than the shit on my shoe.”
My eyes fall to the floor as I exhale, then slowly, I glance back up at him. “But she means something to me. Don’t ask me fucking why right now, but, Zero, I need this. I’m cashing in that favor.”
Zero groans, turning his back to me like he’s more than frustrated, he’s fucking furious. “Motherfucker,” he mumbles under his breath, then turns back to me. “You’re a fucking asshole. This comes back to bite you on the ass again, I won’t be here to pick up the pieces. Got it!”
“I understand.”
He huffs. “You really want to waste a favor on that?”
I turn my head to look at Billie, really take her in. Her beautiful turquoise eyes stare up at me glistening with unshed tears at the same time her bottom lip quivers. It’s easy to see she’s hurting. It is just hard to tell whether it’s because she’s feeling guilty or sad about the loss of her brother.
I don’t know who she is.
Who she really is.
But I want to find out.
She owes me that much.
“Yeah… I do.”
“You’re a fucking idiot, Phantom,” Texas berates me.
Zero holds his hand up to stop any other abuse from coming my way. “If I give you this… and she fucks us again, it’s your head at the end of the pistol. You willing to risk your life for her?”
Hesitating, I think back to our first kiss. The first time we fucked. Every moment shared between us can’t have been faked. You can’t deny that kind of chemistry. There’s something there. Even if I have no idea who Billie really is, I have to fight for her.
“I will kill her myself, then you can decide my fate if she does.”
Zero shakes his head like he’s more than a little disappointed in me. “This isn’t a free pass for you, Billie. From here on out, you are no longer allowed within the clubhouse walls. For the foreseeable future or until I deem you are worthy, you’re banished from the clubhouse and from Defiance. Let’s face it right here, right now, you will probably never be welcomed back here, so get used to that fact. We don’t take kindly to the type of deception and grief you have brought to this brotherhood, this family, this club. Take this as… it’s your lucky damn day because I have killed for far less.”
Billie’s bottom lip trembles as tears roll down her face, but she nods and says, “I understand.”
“For now, as punishment, you’ll help clean away the dead bodies of your former club. Then Phantom will take you back to your home, wherever that actually is, and that’s where you will stay. You will not have
contact with any one of us except for Phantom. Got it?”
She swallows hard like she isn’t sure what to expect. “Okay, yes, I’ve got it! Thank you for your mercy, Zero.”
“Mercy? Leniency maybe, mercy… no fucking way. If you and Phantom get together, then it’s going to be hell on you both because you’re not stepping foot inside this clubhouse again. And if you can’t be an Old Lady, then there’s no point in him claiming you. And if he can’t claim you, then you’re gonna have a rough time making this work, and that punishment is more on Phantom than it is on you. His time at the club is now limited by the fact he cannot call on the club for any assistance to do with you at any time. Think about that next time you believe I showed you mercy. Think about Phantom!” Zero turns, and he storms off.
Texas and Chains let Billie go.
Cherry turns her nose up and goes to leave, but Billie reaches out for her. “Cherry, wait—”
“No! Phantom might be able to get past this, but I...” She doesn’t finish her sentence. Instead, she storms off after Zero, dodging dead Heathens in her path.
Neon grabs Oakley in his arms while I move in beside Billie.
She turns to me, her eyes conveying all the sadness I am feeling. “I’m so, so… sorry.” She reaches out to take my hand, and I inadvertently flinch away, or maybe that’s how I feel about her. The pain of her betrayal is so severe right now for me to do anything else.
Her eyes widen like she wasn’t expecting that after I just put myself on the line for her, but I still need to figure out where I sit with all this. I might care about her, I might not want her dead, but she made me look like a fool.
She played me completely.
I don’t know who she is.
And honestly, I can’t trust her now or probably ever.
Zero has made it more than obvious she will never be part of this club again, so what’s the point of that if I want to be a brother and this is my family.
I take a deep breath and say, “Let’s just get this mess cleaned up, then I’ll take you home.”
She bobs her head, disappointment ravaging her face, then she sighs.
Pulling my ride up to an old rundown apartment, my heart hammers in my chest.
Jesus! This is where she was living before she came to me? River said it was bad, but I had no idea he meant this bad. Honestly, I thought he was exaggerating.
Billie slides off the back of the bike, and I let out a long breath, looking up at the place with broken shingles on the roof, the windows boarded up with cardboard, and part of the front access taped together with police tape.
“This is your place?”
She shrugs. “It’s where Rage gave me a place to live, though I’m not sure what I’m going to find when I go inside. With me being gone for three months, who knows what he’s done to the place.”
Jumping off my bike, I walk with her to the apartment, and she places the key in the lock. It smells like stale urine in the hall, and as she walks through the door, a rat rushes out.
Letting out a scoff, I turn up my lip. “You can’t live like this, Billie.”
She shrugs. “I always have. It’s all I’ve ever known other than Defiance… I guess that’s why I loved it there so much.”
We walk inside to a tattered sofa, a tiny kitchen, and an even smaller bedroom off to the side. “It’s not much, but it is home. Would you look at that, the plants are still alive!”
I smirk internally, high-fiving River for doing such a good job.
“Is this where you do the… cuddling?” I ask, a sour taste on my tongue emerges that I want to spit out on the floor.
She bites down on her bottom lip. “Rarely… mostly they want me to go to them to a hotel or their homes. Depends on the client. I have a few who come here.”
Closing the door behind me, we then walk over to the sofa. “And will you go back to that now?” A pang of jealousy rolls through me at that thought, and I am not sure why considering her level of deception.
“Rage was the one who made me do the cuddling. It was good money for the club. He was the one paying for me to live here as well. He would give me a wage to buy food and whatever else I needed, but it wasn’t much. To be honest, I don’t know what I’m going to do now he’s gone, and I don’t have a job.”
I let out a long breath. “I guess you’re free to do anything you want to do on your own terms.”
She turns to face me, grabbing my hands in her own. My fingers tingle with the connection, and I don’t pull them away even though my gut instinct is to do just that. “I want you to know I am so sorry I lied to you.”
My jaw ticks as I drop my eyes from her and let out a heavy exhale. “I don’t even know where to start…”
“How about at the beginning… Hi, I’m Billie Brennan.”
My head snaps up. “Jesus, I didn’t even know your real last name?”
She winces and gestures to the sofa. My body aches as I take a seat, my muscles all straining from the beating. “Stay, let’s talk. Let me tell you about who I really am. Please… give me that chance?”
Hesitating, I crack my neck to the side and give her a curt nod.
We both sit on the sofa, and she opens up, telling me everything about her life. Everything she’d been through with Rage growing up and everything he made her do while at the club—all the threats, duress, terrorization, and stress. There was absolutely no way she could get out from under from him. She had no escape. There was nothing for her but the persistent intimidation of a brother who should have loved and protected her, but instead, he used and abused.
My stomach churns while listening to her pour her heart out. She’s been nothing but deceptive the entire time she was at our clubhouse, but here, right in front of me, in this moment, she is being open and bare, expressing herself in the most freeing of ways.
I see her so clearly.
She is the same woman I fell for.
She is no different.
All the things she’s told me—they are the same. The things she loves. The things she hates. The deep, personal stuff about who she fundamentally is as a person is all there.
The things I know about her, she didn’t lie to me about.
There was no deception in who she is as a person.
But I need time to deal with her deceit.
If I can get over the fact she infiltrated my club with the main focus to bring us down, then maybe we can work.
But that’s going to be a big maybe.
PHANTOM
Five Days Later
After spending some time with Billie and listening to what she went through, I was hurting bad, not only mentally but physically. So, while I didn’t want to leave her there in the state she was in, I needed to get back to the club to get checked out.
Honestly, the adrenaline had kept me going but that was wearing thin, and by the time I stumbled back into the clubhouse, Chills immediately rushed me to a chair and checked me over. She reamed me a new asshole for not getting checked before we left, but at the time, I had little choice. Zero had made it perfectly clear what he thinks about my situation, and I couldn’t just throw Billie out on the street.
My injuries were numerous, lots of small cuts that needed stitches, bruised ribs, broken nose, a little concussed, but overall, I was in reasonable shape considering what that fucker, Rage, had done to me.
The clubhouse has been fucking weird the past five days. Not only because Ax hasn’t been there and the entire club is mourning for our fallen brother, but because I’d gotten used to having Billie around.
Now she just isn’t here.
We text every day, and I’m not sure where we sit. I haven’t forgiven her and being with her is going to be fucking difficult, seeing how my entire club is against her right now. I hope that some time can heal all wounds.
Billie did the right thing, and she fought with us in the end, not against us.
She helped Oakley.
She saved Cherry.
She stood u
p, she fought, and that’s got to count for something.
My brothers need time. I’m willing to wait for them and for me to heal because what I feel for Billie hasn’t changed. I still care about her more than I have cared about anyone. I fucking hope all this torment is worth it.
For now, though, I have to put all my emotion into the task at hand while we gather around Fox and his custom ride. The carrier to the side holding the casket with our brother, Ax, we all surround it and look down. Letting out a deep breath, I place my hand on top of the coffin, feeling the weight of this moment hit me square in the chest.
“I’m so fucking sorry I couldn’t save you, brother.”
Rage landed a fist into my face as Ax raced forward to help, but Lynch and Carnage drew their guns on him. I was on my knees with blood pouring from my nose, my head spinning from the strike.
Rage circled me. “You think you Defiance brothers are so fucking clever? You have no damn clue of the chaos and carnage we’re about to rain down on you and your club.”
Spitting out a line of blood, I chuckled. “You think because you have two of us that you have the control here, Rage? When Zero figures out you have us, he won’t hold back.”
Rage smirked. “Oh, I am counting on it. In the meantime, I’m gonna have fun taking my frustrations out on you, Phantom.”
Gritting my teeth, I rolled my shoulders. “Do your worst, asshole.”
Rage clenched his fists, stepping forward, he slammed his boot into my ribs, sending me flying backward onto the concrete. The wind was knocked from me, and I could hardly see, everything turning black.
“Lay another finger on him, and I will gut you myself,” Ax growled, struggling in the grip of Lynch and Carnage.
“I don’t know a lot about you, Ax, but what I do know is you have military training, love the ocean…” Rage raised his eyebrows. “That’s right… you’re the little lost puppy of the club. No woman, no family, no fucking life.”
Pulling myself to sit, Ax’s eyes turned dark and ominous. He was normally more of a joker, always saying crazy shit and keeping everyone entertained. But right here, right now, he was reverting back to his training.