“Thank you, Sister McCoy,” Pastor said followed by Stiles.
She left them in the family room and Hezekiah appeared just as they were taking their seats.
“Good afternoon,” Hezekiah said. He had been looking forward to this meeting with Pastor for a few days, and not exactly in a good way. He wanted to see what reason this man would give for choosing not to be in his life when he was a kid. For Hezekiah, there was nothing Pastor could tell him that would justify his absence.
“Good afternoon, Hezekiah,” Stiles and Pastor said almost simultaneously.
Hezekiah walked into the center of the room, folded his arms, and stopped. “You know, I have done some shameful things in my life. All of which I am sorry for. But I chalk it up to growing up in Cabrini-Green, having the only man I've ever known as father gunned down, and witnessing the hustle most of my life." His expression was hard and his voice full of bitterness. "But one thing my mother always instilled in me, God rest her soul, and I’m talking about the woman who raised me as her own. One thing she told me was that God is the answer to every situation, every problem, and every need. She told me to rely on him and to put my trust in him. She took me and my brother to church every time the church doors opened. She and my daddy kept us safe, kept us fed and clothed. All that time, I thought she was my mother and that my daddy was my real father. What kid grows up thinking that his parents are not really his parents? But to find out at this stage in my life that all of what I grew up believing was a lie. Can you even imagine how that makes me feel?”
“Heze…
“Shut up!” Hezekiah yelled. “I’m talking. I don’t want to hear your sorry excuses.”
“Hold up, man,” Stiles angrily interjected. He didn’t like the fact that this dude had flipped out on Pastor.
“You don’t tell me to hold up. I'm only getting started. I have a lot more to say!”
“It’s okay, Stiles. Let him have his say.”
“You’re darn right I’m going to have my say. You wanted this meeting so bad. Well, you got it. You’ve been standing up in a pulpit calling yourself preaching God’s word, and all the time you’re living a lie. Here I am, thinking I was unworthy, but you, you take the cake. How could you raise this dude,” he pointed at Stiles, “as your own son but turn your back on me, your own flesh and blood son?”
“Hezekiah, I don’t blame you for being angry. And I can’t tell you anything, except the truth. That truth is I didn’t know I had a son. At first Margaret told me she was pregnant, and I was thrilled at the prospect of having a kid. I thought we could possibly work things out so we could raise our child together, but it didn’t end up like that. Your mother and I just couldn’t get along so I decided that it was best if we called things off. I promised her that I would be in my kid’s life and she said she was fine with that. But a few days later, she told me she lost our baby through a miscarriage. I was hurt to hear that but I had no reason to doubt what she said. With no future for us, she decided to pack up her things and go back to Chicago and I hadn’t heard from her since. And as for being Audrey’s sister and Audrey stealing Stiles from her, I had no idea about that either. You have to believe me. Margaret was unstable—”
“Don’t you even try it. Don't blame this on her. She’s not here to defend herself, but she told me a lot, the whole story before she took her last breath. And you, you knew you had a kid, a son. Me…I have two sons. I can’t imagine turning my back on either of them and pretending like they never existed. But you, you seemed to find it easy and now you want to blame my mother. At least Aunt Margaret made sure I was with people who loved me and cared about me. At least she remained a part of my life, a valuable part at that. But you, you’re nothing but a lying coward. You’re sitting up in my house with him and the both of you ain’t worth a dime. I don’t care if you are supposed to be my brother. Tonya’s son is more of a brother to me than you will ever be.”
“I’m telling you, if I knew I had a son, you have to believe that I would have been in your life.”
“What I have to say to you is that I want you out of the pulpit at Holy Rock. I want you out of my life. I don’t want to see you, deal with you or you,” he said angrily, looking from Pastor to Stiles.
“Son.”
“Don’t call me your son. My father is dead.”
“Hezekiah, baby, please calm down,” Fancy said, entering the family room after hearing her husband explode in a fit of rage.
“You can’t put him out of the church,” Stiles stood and spoke.
“And who says I can’t?”
“What right do you have to do that? Okay, so he wasn’t in your life when you were growing up, but that’s in the past. There’s nothing anyone can do about it. What matters is now. The present, Hezekiah. You're a grown man, not some little kid. Get over it and move forward. All of us see just how fleeting life really is after what we've gone through these past weeks. And what about forgiveness?”
"Look, man," Hezekiah said, walking up closer to Stiles. "Who are you to tell me what to think or what to feel or what to say? You were raised by this man who should have been raising me. Now he wants to sit up in here and tell me that what Margaret said wasn’t the truth, and that he didn’t know about me. Bull! So step back or get out of my house."
"Pastor, I'll be outside. Take your time, but I need to get out of here before things turn ugly."
"You got that right," Hezekiah hissed.
“Hezekiah, Stiles, please don't fight. Stiles, don't leave. I have this to say and I'll leave your house," Pastor pleaded.
Pastor took Hezekiah’s silence as permission to speak.
"I didn't come here to fight. I came to say that I’m sorry,” Pastor said, confused about what to call his own son. “All I can say about what happened is that I was young, stupid, and I made a lot of mistakes. And I’m sorry. But believe me when I tell you that I didn’t know about you. But you’re also right; I shouldn’t blame Margaret. She was sick and not responsible for her deranged actions, so I can’t blame anyone but myself. But asking me to leave the church that I founded, I don’t understand why you would even want to do something like that. You’re a man of God just like we are,” he continued, looking up next to him at Stiles. “You know how important the ministry is to me. I'm not a young man anymore, Hezekiah. I don’t know how much longer the good Lord is going to keep me around.”
“Don’t play that sorry song and dance tune with me. My mother is dead, the woman who raised me is dead, the man who raised me is dead, and you, you’re still around here kicking and breathing talking about you made a mistake! There is no way Margaret would lie about you on her death bed. How could you try to destroy her by lying on her now? I have no respect for you, man. None whatsoever, so you can miss me with all your empty words.”
Pastor stood up next to Stiles with the face and stance of a broken man.
Stiles spoke forcefully. “Look, I know this is a lot to digest, but it’s still no need to come down on him like this.”
Hezekiah released a hearty laugh. “Fancy, do you hear this fool?”
Fancy leaned in and whispered, “Baby, please. I told you, you need to calm down.”
Xavier came downstairs, preparing to leave for practice for the upcoming school play that Holy Rock Upper School was putting on in the next several weeks. He stopped to listen when he heard his father’s booming voice. He knew right away that someone had made him mad. He walked closer to the family room, peeped around the corner, and saw Pastor Graham and the man who was supposed to be his father’s younger brother. He felt that it had to be hard on his dad finding out in such a horrific way about his birth father and brother.
Xavier continued to listen a little longer until his phone notified him that he had a text message. He looked at it. It was from Raymone.
“You still scooping me up or nah?”
“Yeah, b ther n 15,” Xavier texted back.
The teens were going to participate in the school’s senior play an
d had practice today. St
epping from around the corner and making himself visible, Xavier interrupted the heated discussion.
“Excuse me.”
Hezekiah stopped talking and everyone turned toward the sound of Xavier’s voice.
“Hello, Xavier,” Pastor said.
“Hi, Pastor Graham. Hello, sir,” he then looked and addressed Stiles. “Ma...Dad, just wanted to let you know that I’m about to leave for drama practice.”
Fancy walked toward her son. “Okay, but please come straight home after practice.”
“Cut the boy some slack, Fancy,” Hezekiah ordered. “Be careful out there, son.”
“Yes, sir,” he said and then proceeded to leave with Fancy trailing behind him like a puppy dog.
When they disappeared out of the family room, Hezekiah continued. “Look, I think I've made myself clear, so let's just say this little meet and greet is done.”
Hezekiah walked past Pastor and Stiles. As he walked out, Fancy walked back up, "Fancy, baby, do me a favor and show them the door."
22
Being able to wait is a sign of true love and patience. Anyone can say I love you but not everyone can wait and prove it's true. Unknown
Stiles zipped through his playlist until he found the perfect song that would help to give him some inner peace as he made the drive back to Houston. He'd been on the road for a little over an hour but it felt like hours. It had been six weeks since he'd stood in the pulpit of his own church and it was time he got back to Full of Grace to tend his flock.
As he listened to “Better” by Hezekiah Walker, his mind began to transform from dwelling on all that had happened over the span of six weeks to a deep spiritual tranquility. His spirit told him that everything would be fine because the God he served was still in control. He continued listening to his playlists of tunes until his phone started ringing, turning off the music.
“Hi, Kareena,” Stiles said into his Bluetooth.
“Hey, how are you?” she asked.
“Glad to be headed back that way.”
Kareena smiled. She was glad that Stiles had finally made the decision to return to Houston. She understood that he had business to handle and things to settle in Memphis, but she missed him and his congregation missed him too.
“I was checking in on you. How much longer before you get here?”
“I still have about four and a half hours to go. Should be there say around six thirty or seven. I was going to stop and get something to eat but I changed my mind. I’m
going to try to push on straight through. I’ll get something when I make it there.”
“I don’t mind preparing something for you. I’ll fry you some chicken. I know that’s your favorite.”
“You don’t have to do that. Why don’t we plan on going out and grabbing something when I get there? And in case I haven’t mentioned it before now, I do miss you.”
Kareena was glad Stiles couldn’t see her blushing. “It’s good to be missed,” she said. “Anyway, I was just calling so I’ll see you in a few hours. Be safe. Talk to you later.”
“Yeah, talk to you later.”
Kareena was a nice woman who Stiles believed would make someone a good wife one day. Stiles didn’t want to even think that his feelings might grow that deeply for her. He didn't want to mess up someone else's life like he'd messed up his own.
Stiles called to check in on Pastor and Josie after he finished talking to Kareena. Pastor still wasn't fairing too well and was really at an all-time low now that Hezekiah banned him from Holy Rock. A piece of his heart had been ripped apart and the pain was unbearable. Stiles could hear the hurt in his father’s voice when he talked to him, but there was nothing he could do to change things because Hezekiah didn’t want anything to do with him either. Several times since their meeting, he had tried calling and texting Hezekiah hoping he could convince him to look at things differently, but Hezekiah refused to talk to him, so Stiles prayed that the state of depression would be lifted from Pastor and that Hezekiah would find it in his heart to forgive him.
Next, after talking to Pastor and Josie for about ten minutes, he dialed Rena's number. He didn't expect her to answer, and she didn't, but he prayed that she would. Rena was right about one thing Stiles admitted to himself - ever since she had been connected to his family, she had gone through a lot of emotional heartbreak. She hadn’t deserved to be treated the way she had by Francesca, by him, or his mother when she was alive. He was, however, grateful that he had an opportunity to apologize to her for all the wrong he'd done, but that was before the shooting. As he listened to her voicemail, his heart went out toward her. She was especially close to her parents, and all Stiles could hope was for Robert to help her through this terrible time.
Stiles drove the remaining hours without stopping. He passed the hours away by listening to his playlist and thinking over all the things that had happened both recently and in the past. He found himself becoming somewhat depressed as he reflected on his life. As he approached the sign that welcomed him to Houston, he smiled slightly and exhaled. It felt good to be back in Houston, far away from the perils of what he left behind in Memphis.
He exhaled again when he turned into his neighborhood. Tapping the remote, and pulling up into his garage, Stiles remained in the car for a few minutes before getting out and going inside. He had no rhyme or reason to why he remained in the car; he just sat there until his spirit nudged him.
Several minutes later, he got out of his car and went inside the house, which looked and smelled fresh and clean. It was good to be able to rely on his weekly housekeeper to keep everything in tiptop shape even while he was out of town. He went to his bedroom and sat his luggage down by the closet. Before he called Kareena to let her know he had made it back, he decided he would take a shower and change clothes.
After he finished showering and getting dressed, he sat down on the sofa in his man cave, turned the television on, and mindlessly began flipping through the hundreds of mostly useless stations. He found himself nodding off, but his phone rang and jerked him out of his sleepy state. He looked at the phone. It was Brian, one of the deacons from church who had also become a good friend.
"What's up, man?" Stiles said when he answered.
"Hey, there Pastor Graham, my friend. I was just checking on you, bro. I know you said you were heading back this way in a few days. What's your status?"
"Actually, I just got back. I left out earlier today. I'm about to go get a bite to eat and then come back home and chill. How have things been while I've been gone?"
"Everything is good. No worries. But we missed you, man. Nothing like hearing you deliver that word up in the pulpit. You know what I mean."
Stiles chuckled, glad to know that he was missed but that things had gone relatively smooth in his absence. He was thankful that he had a great group of people surrounding him who supported his endeavors and understood his flaws, that is the flaws he allowed them to see.
"Glad to hear that. I plan to check out the game tomorrow. Call me if you wanna hang out," Stiles said to Brian.
"Okay, cool. Well, go get you something to eat. I'll talk to ya later."
The men ended their call and Stiles immediately called Kareena. She insisted on coming to pick him up rather than him driving since he'd just made the eight hour drive from Memphis.
"How's your appetite now?" Kareena asked when she arrived at Stiles' house.
"I'm starving. Haven't had a bite to eat since I left Memphis, and that was only a slice of toast and a banana."
"Okay, then what do you say we go to Lucille's. It's on this end of the city so it shouldn't take us long to get there."
"Sounds good to me. You know it's one of my favorite restaurants, and it's dinner time, too."
"Yeah, which means you can get the whole fried chicken, mac and cheese, and those smoked greens you like."
"That's what I'm talking about," Stiles said excitedly. "Let's get outta here."
Along the drive, Kareena caught him up with the various meetings she attended at the church, about attendance in his absence and the lighthearted gossip she always seemed to hear.
Upon arriving at Lucille's, they parked and went inside the busy establishment known for its delicious food. Even though there was a forty minute wait, they decided that it would be well worth the wait to be seated.
Time quickly passed as they chatted and laughed. When they were called for their table, they already knew what they would order.
"I missed you," Kareena confessed while they ate.
Stiles hoped his face didn't display the emotions of hearing Kareena tell him that she missed him. It wasn't like she hadn't said it before, but this time her facial expression and the tone in which she said it, seemed to convey something far deeper. He didn't know if he was just imagining it, but felt that he wasn't.
Reaching across the table, he said, "I missed you too," and tenderly grasped her hand. He gently caressed her fingers and looked into her eyes. "You're beautiful, Kareena."
Kareena blushed. This time she couldn't hide it. "Thank you, Stiles, but where did that come from?"
"It's the truth. You're a beautiful woman inside and out."
"Wow, I don't know what to say."
"No need to say a thing. I just wanted to tell you that. Life is so short. It seems I keep getting reminded of that. I never expected to have to bury my sister and brother-in-law. I mean, I don't know what to pray for anymore," he said sadly. "I'm so messed up inside, so I guess seeing you here, looking at you, hearing your laughter, it just makes me know how blessed I am to be able to call you my friend." He continued to caress her fingers.
Kareena eyed him with deep sympathy to the point she felt like crying, but didn't. "I have no words to say, except that God is in control. That's all we can ever say. As far as us being friends, I'm always going to be here for you. You have brought so much to Full of Grace Ministries. I know my father would be proud of you. I know I am and so is the rest of my family. You are an amazing person, Stiles, and I don't know why you've had to deal with so much pain in your life. But you're a strong man and you are going to be fine."
The McCoys of Holy Rock Page 13
