by Renta
“Where—when?” I hissed.
“Shid, now! We can meet up at that old spot your boys got out in the country. You know—the spot y’all did ole boy at. Hour plus, homie.”
“Hold the fuck up—you talking real reckless on my shit, fam,” I spazzed, but it was useless cause he was gone.
Ice-Berg hung up, but—how the fuck he know ‘bout tha spot?
***
~Freedom~
The spotlight was against my skin. The microphone felt powerful in my hands. The crowd was silent—anticipating—awaiting my voice to place into words the thoughts that most couldn’t verbalize. The room was smokey—electric! To me, it was a deserted island lost within a moment of déjà vu. I’d been here before, yet—it felt so empty—so foreign!
“Come on girl, preach that Earth talk,” A queen encouraged me from somewhere beyond the light.
A wounded smile kissed my lips as I acknowledged her wit’ a nod of my head. My hair was wild tonight, the same as emotions—the condition Assata left them in.
“Peace Gods and Earth. Tonight, I stand before you all as I am—a volcano of emotions. Due to circumstances beyond my control, it hurts me to say, but tonight will be my last night gracing the stage.”
Hushed whispers ensued, and some midnight black brother said, “Come on sista, don’t do us like that. Hell, you’re the reason I come to this hellhole!”
The host blue said, “Hey now, don’t get ya ass kicked!”
The crowd roared at his jest—I smiled in spite of it being the last thing I feel like doing.
“It’s okay y’all, cause tonight I plan to leave y’all with something to remember me by. This piece I’m ‘bout to give y’all is my mind, body, and soul all wrapped into a tropical storm that’s raging around this room in search of the only God that can be tamed it. Since he’s not present, y’all just let it wash over ‘yall in the rawest form. It’s me personified, Free! I call it, ‘Standing in a Tropical Storm’. I wrapped my hands around the mic before caressing it in my signature way—sexually—intimately, my lips parted, and an invisible storm was created in the form of words.
“Loving you is like spending two and a half days wandering the Sahara Desert, twelve hours away from becoming dehydrated
Only to stumble upon a paradise in the form of a gangsta, a partial cup of water that isn’t enough to quench my thirst, yet just enough to make me rehydrated
So, I hungrily sip from your cup as if it is the cup of eternal life
Only to realize that love is blind like a sightless woman that prays for eternal sight
I give you me—naked as Eve was before she came into the knowledge
Yet, you give me your hypothesis—a taste of your love—and your dick, as if I’m a crazy woman, and it’s the new word for psychiatrists
Yet, I’m Earth—the third planet from the Sun, Revolution period of three sixty-five point twenty-six days at a mean distance of approximately one forty-nine point, six million kilometers, and it takes me twenty-three hours and fifty-six point, zero seven minutes to rotate around you
Meaning—perfection within our distance—if we become any closer, there’d be fire within our kisses—I know I’m not beyond your comprehension, yet Sun I need you to listen.
I’ve witness Heaven cries from the number of seven eyes—
Lost so much in my life that I began to question God—Allah!
Yet, I know that nothin’ will make me more unbalanced than saying goodbye, having to live with the fact that we didn’t even try
But, how is this real if you’re living a lie
Telling me God comes from under the mud, when I was taught he resides in the sky?
Y’all, I don’t want to love him anymore, yet my heart is an alcoholic for his taste
Knowing that even if I moved on with another, I’d end up replacing his face with his face
That would be treason—a fake bitch—a love misplaced.
So, I’ll wait—
Not wanting to love him, but needing to in order to breath
Standing in a tropical storm searching for an escape, but knowing I’ll never leave.”
***
~Goose~
Me and Kamika pulled up beside Assata’s SS. Soon as I killed the ignition, she handed me a Ninna Ross, amm1, that looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t place it just yet. My mind was stuck on the twist in the game that Assata just hipped me to. The cat Ice-Berg that I’d saw all over tv had resurfaced. Here—at our spot! Since I first touched down in this hellhole, I’d had my investigation in full swing! I heard of the ongoing beef between him and Assata, so quite understandably I suspected him for the shooting that landed my baby brother in a coma! Yet, I also suspect the girl, Jazzy. Even though, Assata disagreed, something didn’t sit right with me.
I remembered her telling me about the dude Gusto but now he’s dead! Who shot him? It’s as if someone was cleaning house and as long as they was still breathing, Assata wasn’t safe. I knew his mind had been preoccupied trying to figure it out, but my eyes and ears were to the asphalt! Back to the here and now—fuck this sucka been hiding? How he knew about this spot? The law boy that we slumped? There’s too many questions that only he had the answers to. So, with that in mind, me and lil’ one exited the truck at the same time.
Assata pushed the banana clip into the Draco AK .47. Two more carloads of our shootas swerve in beside us, everybody was war ready! Once everybody was on deck, we all turned to Assata, it was his call. His eyes studied the abandoned building as if it was his first time seeing it, but the sound of tires moving fast over gravel snatched all of our attention. A fleet of five SUV’s pulled to a stop in a ‘V’ formation. The lead truck was a black Infiniti Qx80 that squatted on black big heads.
The front doors swung open and two well-dressed Mexicans stepped out brandishing assault rifles equipped with drums so big it looked like a workout just holding them. We watched as they stepped to the back of the truck and open both doors. A bald dark-skinned cat stepped out. He was clap doctor clean in an all-white Giorgio Armani two-piece, accentuated by a pair of gold Gators. He was accompanied by a Mexican dressed head to toe in colorful Versace. I knew because the silk button up that depicted the big Medusa head on the front was in my closet at home.
As the four men stepped towards us, the remaining trucks spilled out a mixture of black and brown gun-toting men that caused me and Assata to make eye contact. He ain’t tell me we was meeting the Mafia! The closer they got, the more crazy shit became. All of the ese’s have big ass tattoos on their face. The most recognizable was the MS-13 stamp. I’m familiar with El Salva Trucha. There was a few in the Tone that came down from Cali. They’re not Mexicans, they’re Salvadorian. Beasts! Barbarians! Midway they stopped and assessed us as we repaid the same assessment. I turned my eyes to Assata; he looked a bit confused, as his eyes searched the crowd. I didn’t know what was up, but I did know that this was the wrong time to become indecisive! Naw—straight up!
***
~Assata~
Fuck he at, is this a setup? This nigga playin’ a dangerous game, and to think I started to respect his pussy ass after the Russian lick. I saw my brother getting antsy besides me. His grip tightened on the bullshit nine in his hands. I told fam that we were coming to see a gangsta, out of every gun we got on deck, this boy brings a fuckin’ nine! No need to trip though—the short booty choppa I’m clutchin’ gave me reassurance that if shit got ugly, I would be able to cover me, bruh, and his bitch! I stepped forward and spoke my peace.
“What’s the bidness, where Berg at?” I waited, but my only response was blank stares and a deadly silence. So, shid—I did what any gangsta would do, I aimed the tool and drew the line in the sand. “Since you boys jumpin’ out on some mafia shit like it ain’t real ova here. What’s poppin’, bleed? Y’all trying to get on some real cowboy shit or what? I ain’t askin’ no mo’—fuck Berg at,” I hissed loud enough for the world to hear me.
Every cat that knew me,
knew I was ‘bout to get on that dumb shit. I guess that’s why all the click-clacking of weapons on both sides of the line could be heard, but most importantly, the reason the bald-headed cat stepped out with a smile on his face. That’s cool, he would be the first to go where niggaz like us go after our time had expired, I aimed in his direction.
***
~Ice-Berg~
The atmosphere was lit with tension—murda—testosterone! I put a hand in the air so that my shootas saw, I held it in the air silently letting them know we good. Weapons lowered on my side, but the opposition wasn’t respecting nothin’ but Assata’s word. I smiled, as I stepped towards the young lion.
“If you know what’s good for you gangsta, you’d stop where you’re at,” he said, when I’m ‘bout nine feet away—almost face to face.
The diamonds rocked him as I allowed them to gleam in the sun. He knew I was the only one with sapphires and gold in my mouth. That was his first indication that it was some strange shit in the mix, but once I spoke, his face contorted into a look of wonderment—curiosity—disbelief! Yet, he lowered the burna and tilts his head slightly with a million questions in his eyes. Then he said, “Fam, this some real freaky bidness.”
***
~Assata~
I’ve seen some real spooky shit in my day, but this? This bidness right here was what them urban books authors be writing ‘bout. Now, either this boy had got the exact grill as Ice-Berg or he whacked the boy and pried them shits of his teeth, but what he couldn’t have done was stolen homie’s raspy ass voice. I’d recognize it anywhere!
“Sup, homie—you look like you saw a ghost,” he laughed at his own joke.
“Look, Assata, I know this is a lot to swallow, bruh, but let’s step in there. I’ll give it to you from the hip.”
He nodded towards the building.
While he assessed the man, Goose leaned over and whispered. “Yo—why are you looking like you seen a ghost? We ‘bout to make these tools talk or what bruh—you got me off my square.”
“Fam, that’s not Berg—I mean—it is Berg—but, it ain’t his face— Maaann, just let me think, bruh.” I turned my attention back to Berg.
If he wasn’t who he betta be, a lot of us was not gonna make it home to our families, and I was goin’ to spend as much time as I possibly could with Lovey before she closed her eyes. On gang!
***
~Face in the Dark~
I placed my binoculars down beside me, I was as lost as the tv series. Who the fuck were these people, Assata was meeting with here in the country? The bald guy was the boss—his aura was thick—demanding! Yet, the Mexican had the walk of a drug lord. Could it be that Assata was plotting to get deeper into the drug business? Why does the bald guy walk spark familiarity? Hmmm? Something was off about this whole situation, but no matter what these boys had goin’ on. They were going to need every gun they could find because the tiger touched down in the city today. I must keep Assata alive in order to help me break the chains of the new master.
Then—only after, am I at free will to kill him myself! Kill him and fuck him? Fuck him, then kill him—whichever occurred first.
***
~Ice-Berg~
“Yeah, homie, it’s really me,” I repeated, for the third time in the thirty minutes we’d been in this hot ass building.
After I explained the entirety of what transpired after we went our separate ways from the Russia lick. Assata and who I’d learned to be his older brother stared at me in awe—fascination! The cute lil’ broad who I assumed to be Goose’s lady friend stared at me with what I assumed to be starstruck admiration, but, it was something-something strange about her stare. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but if I was right, I’d be fuckin’ her somewhere down the road. I had a feeling Goose recognized the chemistry as well, but he said nothin’. I liked him, he was a playa personified.
“Look, homie, all this bloodshed is costin’ me a fortune, I—”
“All this bloodshed coulda been avoided if you wouldn’t have been on all this mysterious kingpin bidness, dawg, now some solid homies are underground all because you allow yo’ arrogance to blindfold you to the bigger picture, nigga!” Assata seethed.
Heat instantly flooded my veins, but before I could check playboy for interruptin’ me, my phone sang Belle’s ringtone. Fire was in my eyes as I stared him down and yanked my horn off my hip.
“Yea, what’s up, ma, I’m busy!”
My face turned a darker shade of black from what she just told me. I hung up and looked to homie—we gotta problem!
Chapter Eighteen
‘Let’s Make A Deal’
~Assata~
Next Day
“We have a problem! We have a problem! We have a problem,” he ranted.
“Fuck you mean, we got a problem?”
“Damn—damn—damn! How the fuck they know? Do they know? Fuck—say, we gotta do something—quick,” Ice-Berg said as he paced the littered floor in a frenzy.
“Say, fam,” I said, as I stepped in his path, blocking his stride.
“Fuck is wrong with you, who has a problem!?”
His eyes were unfocused—distant. He looked as if he was searched for answers to questions beyond him. A rat scurried across the floor, and without warning, this nut case snatched up the Draco I’d laid on a makeshift bench, and damn near whacked the harmless rodent. All eyes turned to him like he’d lost his head, even his own men had curious looks on their faces.
As if he just realized he was the center of attention, he looked to me. “The Russians are here, they touched down today!”
I looked at him like, so fuckin’ what! But, he dropped a bomb on me and everybody in the room.
“Fam, they know it was us!” Looking as if he’d whacked me, rather than risked me givin’ him up, he said, “They comin’ for me, and you, bruh. They won’t know what I look like, but you won’t be hard to find fam.”
My mind spun out of control. Coming for me? Fuck they know, I had something to do with the lick? Fuck they know ‘bout me, period? I guess we musta had the same thoughts cause his eyes bore into me.
“Somebody talkin’, homie, but who?”
“Assata! Assata,” someone’s persistence penetrated my reverie.
I turned my head in her direction, confused. “Sup, lady, fuck you yelling in my ear?” I stared at her from hooded eyes.
The Kush got me lovely, yet, I guess not lovely enough to steal my mind from the storm headed my way. Armani took her eyes off the road for a brief moment to study me.
“Whoa—where did you go, baby? You went to a dark place, huh?” she said, as she reached over and took my hand to hers.
I reclined in my seat and turned my gaze out the window. “I’m always in a dark place, ma. The story of my life, ya dig.”
Slightly squeezing my hand, she offered me one of the most powerful things a woman can offer a man, her ear.
“You want to talk about it? You know you can tell me anything, right?”
My silence was thick as I observed the condition of my city, as we exited loop 288 and headed for the hospital to see Lovey.
“Right,” she persisted.
I finally turned my eyes to her. “You sure ‘bout that? Anything, what if I told you, I’ma killa and there was so much blood on my hands I could donate some to a blood bank? What if I told you its’ not safe to be with me because my enemies want me dead, and they’ll kill everybody I give a fuck about in order to get to me? Better, yet—what if told you, you’re wasting your time loving me cause I can never love you back?” I breathe the fire that would purify her truths all the way down to its rawest form.
She released my hand, as she returned her attention to the road. “Look, Assata, I’m not one of those lil’ girls you’re used to. Naw, I ain’t from the same background as you, but you best believe I ain’t green. I won’t pretend that the shit you told me doesn’t scare me to death, but you know what, I’ve been scared before, so fuckin’ what! You don’
t know me as you will in time, but, know this—when I got in the car with you, I buckled my seatbelt. All this tryin’ to run me away mess you be on, miss me with it! Now get your foot out your mouth and put that gun that you have on waist under the seat. We’re here, you’re already smelling like that stuff you be smoking,” she made a goofy face as if she smelled something foul.
“I don’t want to have to end my day at the county trying to bond you out for being too gangsta,” she said, as she exited the car.
I cracked a smile in spite of myself. Lady was tuggin’ on my heart! Real shit, she’s yanking on that bitch.
***
~Pain~
The day had been long as fuck, but progressive. After I checked the traps to make sure shit was Gucci, Tessa surprised me with some real freaky shit.
“Baby, you ever had a ménage a trois?” I looked at her quizzically.
“Naw, why, you trying to give me my first one?”
She snickered like a real slut, “I’ve been known to suck a pussy or two—or three!”
I put the blueberry swisher to my lips and inhaled its essence, her revelation didn’t surprise me, a nigga could always tell if he had a freak on his hands, no matter how hard she attempted to hide it. Hoeism was like a perfume to a seasoned playa, he could sense it out the gate! Long story short, that’s how me and Tessa ended up in the backseat of my Jag with some ese bitch driving us someplace unknown.
“Say, shawty, where you going?” I asked through a mouthful of smoke.
Lookin’ out the window nothin’ was familiar. We must have been on the outskirts of the city cause we were surrounded by a bunch of trees and sprawling pastures. Tessa nuzzled the side of my neck as her hand disappeared into my pants.