by Marie Mistry
I took a step towards them, releasing the dead hand.
They flinched.
“Guys I didn’t mean…”
They fled up the stairs.
“Go,” Aeron repeated. “You don’t want to see this.”
I glanced at him, finding his eyes glued to Babette. He wouldn’t look at me.
I ran, passing door after door until I reached his room. When I got into the shower, I turned it up till it burned me and scrubbed at my hand and lips till they bled.
“I killed her,” I whispered, as I sat in the bottom of the shower looking at the drain. “I killed someone.” I dropped my head onto my knees.
I didn’t know what was worse. That I killed her, that I felt no guilt whilst it was happening, or that I enjoyed the power I gained from it.
I sat there, my skin burning under the water, until the door handle began to turn on its own. I looked up to see Lulu staring down at me.
“Is Babette… is she okay?” I asked, hesitant.
She nodded. “Shaken but fine.” Lulu took up a place leaning against the door.
I slumped against the tiled wall. “The Tester?”
“Triston and Aeron are taking care of it,” she paused, clearly wondering how much to tell me. “They’ll arrange things so no one will suspect anything more than a tragic accident.”
I’m silent under the spray for a long time. “I killed her.”
Lulu nodded. “I’m glad.”
I shook my head. “I’ve never felt so out of control. I was going to take everyone’s power, I could feel them. I wanted to draw them in. To take it all. If Aeron hadn’t been there…”
Lulu shrugged. “You didn’t kill anyone else. And from the sounds of it the Tester was going to do the same to you.”
“Nelly and Ryon ran away from me.”
She leaned forwards. “They were shaken, like you. Neither of them had seen a dead person before tonight. In the morning they’ll be back to normal.” She pushed off the door and made her way towards me, opening the shower door and holding out a towel. “Come on, up you get.”
She wrapped me in one of Aeron’s towels, then used another to pat my arms dry. When she got to my hands and the fabric turned red she frowned. “For the record, if you have to do another, more public, ass kicking, I think you should stay and demand the enemies surrender before you run away and self-harm.”
I looked down at the scratches covering the hand I’d touched the Tester with. “It’s not the first time,” I muttered. “I just feel so dirty.”
Lulu nodded. “All the more reason to start working on it before it becomes a habit.”
She grabbed my hand and pulled me into the bedroom, sitting me on the bed and putting my nightie on me like I was a doll. I had no idea how my nightgown, slippers and robe all turned up in Aeron’s room, nor how Lulu got her hands on my hairbrush. When Aeron came in, we were on his bed, Lulu gently brushing through my already detangled hair. He didn’t speak, but Lulu stopped and gently kissed the top of my head.
“See you at breakfast,” she whispered as she left.
Aeron closed and locked the door behind her, then took Lulu’s place behind me. Instead of brushing my hair, he gently worked the muscles of my neck and shoulders in a masterful massage.
I broke down about thirty seconds in. “I’m sorry,” I tried to excuse myself, wiping my eyes on my sleeve. “It’s just too much.”
His arms came around me from behind, and he pressed a single kiss to the exposed skin of my shoulder.
“I wouldn’t have been able to stop if you weren’t there,” I confessed. “I would have killed Babette. I don’t care about the Tester, she was a mean piece of work, but Babette…”
Squeezing me softly, Aeron kissed me again. “She wasn’t hurt. She doesn’t blame you either. She was just shaken.”
“I’m a monster,” I confessed.
“No, you just need to practise control,” Aeron rebuked. “My father could have some advice, I’ll write to him and…”
“He was the one that told me about being able to take power from just a kiss.”
Aeron frowned, but he clearly decided that now was not the time to question me. “After a little bit of sleep, you’ll feel better.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “But what if –”
He silenced me with a kiss. “Sleep, Lilith.”
I shut my eyes and surprised myself as I instantly fell unconscious.
Walking around school the next day was strange, the news of the Tester’s death didn’t seem to have broken yet. All day I wondered what they’d done with the body and how the news would spread when it was discovered, even as I desperately didn’t want to know. That night, I tossed and turned, dreaming of people showing up and dragging me away, whilst crowds of faceless people were screaming words like ‘murderer’ and ‘whore’ in my face.
I woke when it was still dark, feeling hollow. I reached instinctively for Aeron, but the sheets beside me were empty. I looked up, checking the door to the bathroom. It was open, and I still couldn’t see him.
“Aeron?” I clutched the duvet around me as I pushed my body up into a sitting position. “Are you here?”
No one answered. I climbed out of bed and investigated the room. The door was closed, but not locked as it had been last night.
It was only when I returned to the bed to check if Aeron had even slept there last night that I saw the folded piece of paper. I opened it and read aloud.
“Lady, don’t be alarmed. We’ve taken Aeron for his initiation. He will be returned to you promptly. Also, please remember Hadrian will be waiting for you by the Gatehouse. Maddox.”
I tossed the note on the bed, glancing at the slowly brightening sky. If I dressed quickly, I could make it.
That was how, ten minutes later, I arrived panting and sweaty at the Gatehouse.
Hadrian was waiting for me, his bulky frame examining the barrier I couldn’t see, but which I knew was there. I knew a shield of power protected Vice, keeping humans out and demonic students in. I also knew, thanks to Nelly’s fascination with the subject, that the shield was sustained largely by the efforts of five teachers, all of whom had invested stored power into large plinths of brimstone, called wards, in order to power it.
“Good morning, Lady,” Hadrian greeted me, his large, barrel-chested form facing away from me. His gaze was firmly locked on the forest beyond the gate.
“Professor,” I gave him a smile that I didn’t really feel. “Please thank your brother for me. He was tremendously helpful on Thursday night. I don’t know what I would have done without him.”
Hadrian grinned. “Stumbled about in the dark most likely.” He waved a hand at the Gatehouse. “How much do you know about barriers?”
I relayed my basic knowledge, and he nodded along. “Impressive. What you don’t know is that this wall is the largest example of a barrier in the world. It has two layers - an inner one which encompasses the modern school grounds, and an outer one which covers the traditional lands surrounding Vice. I am solely responsible for the inner barrier, and as such, can lower it at will. The outer barrier is controlled by four other teachers, including Aoife and Calandra. Getting through that is a lot more challenging.” He waved a hand at the gate. “After you.”
I couldn’t see anything different about the space. I wandered forwards hesitantly, almost certain Hadrian was playing a joke, and that I would be fired backwards by the barrier at any moment. When I had crossed the bridge successfully without that outcome, I looked up at him.
“So cynical,” Hadrian smirked. “The only people who can see barriers are those who created them, and a few with the rare talent. Kellert has it; I wonder if his sons are similarly blessed…”
He dug into his pocket, withdrawing a tiny silver ring set with a large yellow crystal. “I know from the rumour mill that you’re fond of adding these sorts of things to your horns. This one is a ward, a tiny one that will serve as a personal barrier for you. Wear it and giv
e the order some peace of mind.
I took it from his large outstretched hand and slid it onto my horn next to the silver arrow ring I had on. “I will keep it on,” I promised.
“Good. It will keep away attacks like the one the Tester sprung on you. You did well, but you won’t always be more powerful than your opponent. If that situation should occur again, the ward will at least give you time for help to arrive.”
We passed the car park where my parents had parked when I had arrived at Vice, then headed straight for the thick woodland on the other side. It took ten minutes of fast-paced marching through the undergrowth behind Hadrian before we finally reached what I first thought to be a large grey stone wall. It was old and unremarkable, chipped and cracked with hunks of moss covering it. It was only when we walked around and through an archway set into it that I realised the immensity of the place.
It was an enormous stadium, formed around a fighting pit. Despite being slightly sunken into the ground with age, it still loomed over the nearby trees. We descended several uneven stone steps until we reached a ruined stone balcony overlooking a great pit below. It was dark, but not so dark that I couldn’t make out the outlines of what looked like a maze below. Wooden catwalks crisscrossed above the towering stands, rotten rope entwined with vines and splintered planks hanging down dangerously, obstructing my view of the open sky above me.
“This entire place has been taken over by nature,” I noted quietly, running a hand along a bannister of mossy stone.
Hadrian beamed. “It won’t be for long. Your first task is to restore the place.”
I frowned. “I thought I was supposed to be learning to defend myself.”
Hadrian pointed at my scrawny arms. “Not without at least some muscle, you won’t be. Wielding power is as much about physical fitness as it is your ability to shape a PK shield. Not to mention that in some cases where you’re low on power, your strength and smarts are all that will get you out of that situation alive.” He indicated a crate off in one corner. “You should begin by doing twenty laps of the pit, and when you finish, that should have everything you need. I’ll return to let you back in at dusk. Don’t be late.”
Still smiling, he turned on one heel and left up the dilapidated staircase we had entered through. I looked at the crate, surely this must be a joke?
Sure enough, the box was full of rope, wood and tools. I glanced around me, how was I supposed to fix an entire stadium by myself?
I decided to see if Hadrian remained outside, but didn’t get three steps through the doorway before I was flung back on my butt. Another barrier. Great, just great.
I rubbed my bruised posterior, looking behind me. D.I.Y was not my thing. I knew the basics, but nothing more advanced than how to hammer a nail.
In short, when Hadrian returned later, all I had managed to do was get myself out of breath with the endless laps around the pit, and scrub the moss and lichen from the seats around the great stadium. He gave me a smirk but didn’t comment.
“Why seal me in?” I asked as we left the wretched place. “Does it not drain power?”
“Mostly for your protection,” he explained. “People couldn’t get to you while you were behind it, and you couldn’t wander off into the woods and get lost.”
I nodded along. “How was the initiation?”
Hadrian snorted, “Your mate is giving Maddox a run for his money, Lady. The boy has openly demanded to see every detail of your security, and he’s been scrutinising it all day. Bane has just been laughing, comparing his brother to a caveman, while their parents watch in complete confusion. Kellert has tried to write down some useful information about being a Succubus, but apparently he keeps getting stuck on the details.” Another snort. “He’s probably just worried about what is appropriate to put in writing to his daughter-by-mating. We approached Vrosis, but he didn’t take the news of your connection to the Strange God seriously. He only said if our aims ‘aligned’, then he would be interested in hearing from us. So we doused him in enough drugs to muddle his memory and put him back in bed where we found him.”
It was a shock to hear Vrosis had rejected them. “He must want to focus on the students as a whole. His dream has always been a united caste.”
“Dreaming’s bloody useless if you won’t fight for it, Lady,” Hadrian advised. “Vrosis is happy to make grand speeches, but the moment you ask him to help, he’ll be unreliable.”
I resolved to remember that advice as we reach the car park. Just on the other side of the Gatehouse, Aeron was waiting for me. My stomach plummeted as I noticed him, the last real interaction we had was before that disastrous dinner with the Tester. He hadn’t shaved since then, a dark shadow of stubble made his face look older, darker and more serious. His expression, one of complete ambiguity, did nothing to alleviate the impression. As we passed some invisible line beneath the Gatehouse, he walked closer, nodding at Hadrian.
“Lady Lilith, I shall see you at the same time next week,” Hadrian informed me, smiling.
I nodded. “Thanks, Professor.” He bowed subtly at the dismissal, turning on his heel towards the castle.
Aeron wasted no time in wrapping an arm around my waist. “How did it go?” he asked.
“He has me cleaning an old arena… By hand.”
“Hard work,” Aeron noted.
I nodded, muscles aching as if to prove his point. “I barely made a dent in it.”
There was a long silence while each of us tried to figure out what to say to the other. The last I had seen of him had been just after I killed the Tester, and I didn’t know how to get past that. But Aeron spoke first, saving me from broaching the subject.
“So… You were chosen by the Strange God, huh?”
I blushed. “I think he prefers to be considered my ‘benefactor’.”
“You actually met him?” Aeron was sceptical.
I looked away, not wanting to face the upcoming ridicule. “I did, but I don’t expect you to believe me.”
“My whole family does.” He seemed confounded by the prospect. “My father is over the moon, beside himself with excitement that, not only is there another Succubus, but also that you’re my mate and you were ‘chosen’ by the Strange God. The only such person to be picked in almost a thousand years.”
“I know how crazy it is,” I began. “I wouldn’t believe it if not for meeting him myself. I wasn’t even really a believer in the Strange God, to be honest.”
Aeron gave me a level stare. “I always have been. That’s not the part I struggle to believe. What I really don’t understand is why my mother is working against you.”
“I’m sorry to put you in that position…” I trailed off as his gaze turned stormy.
“Lilith, I need you to understand this, my mother and I are not close. If there was a choice between her and you, even before I knew we were mates, I would always pick you.”
I frowned. “Why do you hate her so much?”
Aeron’s eyes grew stony. “You asked how I got the top floor of the Carnal Tower to myself? When I came to live with my mother, she locked me in there. She said it was where my father’s dirty blood belonged. After that, she left me to starve. If not for my stepmother having told me about the passageways, I would have died up there.”
I clenched my fists. “How old were you?”
Our gazes met and lingered for a long second. “Ten.” He studied the looming shadow of the Carnal Tower before us. “I was educated by the unshown in the library and learned to fight from Hadrian in his spare time. Sometimes, I even watched Pruitt’s classes from the shadows. My mother pretended I didn’t exist until I was eighteen, and I went through my showing right in front of her. That was when she told me she ‘forgave’ me for my dirty blood and for ruining her perfect marriage.”
Anger made me glare upwards at the window to his room at the top of the tower. “Sleep in my room. The top has too many bad memories.”
He shook his head. “I made that space my own. She left m
e in a bare room with spiders and bats. Look at it now. My room is my bastion of resistance, and I don’t intend to leave it when the best memory of my life was made in that bed.”
I was nearly certain my face went scarlet.
“Which brings me to my next point. I have a surprise for you.” He opened the door to the Carnal Tower and led me up the stairs. “I had Maddox give me a translated copy of the records of the Knights. I thought you might like to read about the exploits of your predecessors.”
Sure enough, sitting on the bedcovers, was a thin stack of paper, neatly held together with a cheap plastic spiral binding.
“I hope this can serve as my apology, of sorts,” Aeron muttered, as I flicked through the neat rows of text. “I know I was a bit… overbearing. I don’t want to be that way, and I don’t want to hurt you.”
