His smile grew as he spoke, the happiness in the memory evident. Adele didn’t usually draw portraits, but the desire to draw that smile made her fingers twitch.
“Christmas Eve was when I got this really elaborate train set, and we spent hours setting it up at the base of the tree. Afterward, I sat in her lap for who knows how long as we watched that train go around and around and around. Through mountains, over bridges, around trees. I was fascinated with it.”
Adele could see the scene so clearly, Jace as a child, his eyes lighting up with excitement.
“That was also the Christmas where my mom bought me my first set of ice skates so I could play hockey. Those skates and lessons were the big gift that year.”
“A gift that kept on giving.”
“Exactly.” He grinned wider. “She opened up the door to hockey, and even all of these years later, it’s still this lasting connection I have with her.”
“That’s a really special thing, Jace. A really special memory.”
“Yeah.” He nodded slowly, a shadow of sadness in his expression.
“What was the theme for Christmas the next year?”
“Do you remember that stop-motion movie? Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer?”
“Yeah.” She nodded.
“The year after, it was Frosty the Snow Man, then it was Mickey’s Christmas Carol, and the last one,” his voice dropped a bit, and he took a slow steadying breath, “was The Grinch.”
Jace rolled to his back again, pulling Adele with him so that she was sprawled across him. Moving her hand up, she placed her palm flat on his chest, right over his heart, trying to soothe him with her touch the same way he soothed her.
His next words were barely above a whisper, but the pain in his voice was loud and clear. “I miss her.”
Something took hold in her chest, a fist squeezing her heart so tightly she could barely breathe. She ached for him…for what he’d lost.
“How…how old was she?”
“She was thirty-eight when she died. I don’t understand that lottery. Why some people are taken way before their time. People that should’ve had so much longer to live.”
“I’ve wondered the same thing.” Adele had experienced significant loss in her life, but not at the same tender age Jace had been. He was so young when his mother died, and he’d been left with a father who’d never really been part of his life.
“Did you ever get the answer?”
“No.” Adele looked up at him, shaking her head as she moved her hand from his chest and reached up to cup his jaw. “I don’t think we ever will get that answer.”
“No. I don’t think so either.”
She ran her thumb across his cheek, feeling the rasp of his beard beneath her fingertip. He pressed his face into her hand and closed his eyes for a second.
“I was there, when she had the stroke.” He slowly opened his eyes again, and they were filled with so much pain, more than she’d ever seen there before.
“Jace.” His name was barely a whisper on her lips.
“It was a Saturday in September, three weeks before my ninth birthday. We were filling out invitations for the party. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, that was the theme.” He had his sad smile back in place, the one she wasn’t used to, the one that made her heart twist.
“She wasn’t feeling great, she’d gotten really dizzy, and she asked me to get her a glass of water. Then she slumped off the chair and on to the floor. Her words were slurred as she told me to call 911. It was the longest ten minutes of my life waiting for them to get there.”
Adele couldn’t speak. The sorrow in his words was breaking her. She’d had no idea he’d been there when his mom had the stroke. It was devastating information.
“They took us to the same hospital where my dad worked. He wasn’t there that day, he was playing golf with some big wigs he was trying to get a research grant from. She died before he got there. I was by myself.” And this was when the sadness in his expression was replaced with anger. “He was on the fifteenth hole when he got the call. He finished the last three holes before he left for the hospital. He would’ve gotten there in time if he hadn’t finished the game”
For the second time in the last ten or so minutes, Adele quickly sat up in bed, the covers falling to her hips. “What?” The word came out of her mouth in an angry shout. “You can’t be serious. What kind of a man does that?”
“My father, that’s who. A heart surgeon with no heart. It’s the perfect kind of irony, isn’t it?”
“Bastard.” Adele whispered, shaking her head. She hadn’t realized she was crying until the hot tears fell from her cheeks. And once they started, she couldn’t stop them. “I’m sorry.”
“Why are you apologizing to me?”
“Because I’m crying like an idiot…I…I shouldn’t have asked.” She ran her fingers underneath her eyes, trying to wipe away the tears that were now falling thick and fast.
She was so unbelievably angry and sad. She didn’t know what to do. She wanted to punch a wall but at the same time she wanted to bury her head in a pillow and cry…or scream. Maybe just alternate between crying and screaming. That sounded like a good plan.
Jace reached up, his fingers wrapping around her wrists, stopping her hands that were still trying—and failing—to brush away the tears. It was then that she finally took in the look on his face, one of stunned amazement.
He tugged her arms, and this time when she fell onto his chest, he rolled so that she was on her back, and he was hovering over her.
“First off, if I hadn’t wanted to talk about my mom, I would’ve said so. I told you, I was okay talking about her. In fact, I liked sharing her with you, the good and the bad. You made me remember things about her that I hadn’t thought about in years. So don’t apologize to me for that.”
All she could see were those aquamarine eyes of his. They were so serious…so bright…so beautiful.
“Okay.” She nodded, blinking her eyes as more tears fell from her eyes, falling down the side of her face and hitting the pillow in soft little tap, tap, taps. “Was there a second off?”
“Yes.” His mouth closed over hers, his tongue thrusting past her lips.
There was more passion in the kiss than she was expecting, it was like he was pouring part of himself into her. When he finally pulled back a moment or two later, she was breathless and maybe a tad bit flustered.
His hand cupped her face, and he brushed his thumb across her still wet cheek. “Don’t apologize for feeling the way you do.” His mouth gently brushed over hers. “Don’t apologize for your tears. They’re precious, just like you.”
He kissed her again, with the same passion as before, and she was crying again. But this time her years were triggered by something else.
He’d called her precious. If he only knew how much he really meant to her.
If he only knew…
Making women cry was not one of Jace’s favorite past times. Not at all. Over the years there’d been more than enough tears that had been shed over him, usually when he was ready to move on and the woman in question was not. Sure, it made him feel like an asshole, but what else was he supposed to do? Stay with someone because he felt badly?
That would make him an even bigger asshole.
But those occasions of breaking women’s hearts were few and far between these days. Lately, the ladies he was with knew the rules, and accepted that he wasn’t Mr. Right, but was instead Mr. Right Now. No commitment, mutual fun, move on.
That was his MO…and why Adele had rightly stated he was a manwhore.
He wasn’t interested in the whole commitment thing. He’d seen firsthand what a one-sided relationship consisted of, seen what it was like for his mother to love a man who’d never loved her back. In the year or so before she’d died, he was pretty sure she’d given up on the whole thing and become resigned to her fate. She chose to stay to keep his life stable.
He wished she wouldn’t have stayed. Wished the
y would’ve left and she could’ve been happy, at least at the end of her life.
Her sacrificing her happiness hadn’t been worth it, not to him. Not for him. Which was why he’d chosen to not sacrifice his own happiness. And really, in the end, the other person wasn’t going to be happy either. So why prolong the inevitable when there was no future?
That wasn’t his thing, thus the occasions where he ended those encounters and the women cried over him.
But something Jace hadn’t experienced was someone crying for him. At least, not in the way Adele had just cried. It affected him in more ways than he’d been prepared for. Way more.
He’d already felt a little raw after opening up about his mom; a topic that once he’d started talking about he hadn’t wanted to stop talking about. Maybe it was because it had been so long since he’d really shared her with someone, and sharing her with Adele had felt right.
But then again, everything with Adele felt right.
Before he’d known what was happening, he’d really started to open up. And then he’d gotten to that day, a day he never talked about, but he’d told Adele all about it. About what they’d been doing when his mother had the stroke…her last moments…his father.
The king of the assholes.
Jace had lost more than his mother that day. He’d lost any chance of a relationship with his father. As far as he was concerned, he’d become an orphan that day.
At first, he’d just been filled with anger, an anger that he couldn’t let go of, an anger that had isolated him. It had been his hockey coach who’d pulled him back from the ledge, got him to channel that anger on the ice.
He might’ve found a way to deal with the anger, but he’d still kept people at arm’s length. It was easier, easier to adopt a better attitude, easier to cope with life when your heart wasn’t at risk of anything.
Things got even better for Jace after he’d moved out of his father’s house, moved across the country, and had pretty much no contact with the man he’d left behind. The last time he’d seen the man had been at his grandmother’s funeral four years ago, an occasion in which the good doctor made a point of making sure Jace knew he wasn’t good enough. Not in his career, his life choices, or who he was as a man.
Yeah, Jace didn’t need that bullshit in his life. Parents were supposed to love their children unconditionally, but his father was full of conditions. He’d made it through most of his life without love, why change it?
Well, maybe because a beautiful woman—inside and out—walks into your life and makes you feel something you’ve never felt before. Maybe that’s why?
He’d meant it when he’d said her tears were precious. Tears she’d shed for him. Tears that had meant more to him than he ever could’ve imagined.
It was becoming clearer and clearer that being with her was dangerous, the most dangerous thing he’d ever done, and in so many ways. But dangerous or not, he couldn’t stop, not when she was under the same roof. Not when she was under his hands. Not when she was wrapped around him in every way imaginable…and he was wrapped up in her.
But he was going to have to let go, sooner or later.
Later. He’d let go later…
Chapter Ten
Snowmen, Snuggles, and Slippery Slopes
After lunch, a meal that consisted of chicken burritos and fresh guacamole—and thankfully no sandwiches—Adele and Jace finished putting out the rest of the decorations. It was when she got to the last box that she discovered all of the supplies for snowman building.
She wrapped the red and green scarf around her neck before sticking the black top hat on her head and grabbing the corncob pipe.
“Jace!” She spun around to where he was adding silver tinsel to the tree. “I know what we’re doing next!”
He looked up at her, his eyebrows raising high and the very corners of his lips quirking up. “Seriously?”
“Yes.” She waved the pipe in the air as she crossed the room to him. “We need to fix some of these massive holes in your Christmas experiences, and where better to start than with building a snowman?” She stopped in front of him, sticking the pipe in his mouth. “Besides, it’s starting to warm up, so we have to strike while the iron is hot…and the snow is that perfect snowman building consistency.”
Jace pulled the pipe from his mouth, before wrapping his free hand around her waist and pulling her against him. He reached up, taking the hat from her head before leaning down, his lips hovering above her. “Well, we can’t pass up the perfect snow.”
“No, we can’t.” She shook her head.
“Just like I can’t pass up any opportunity to kiss you, especially as we’re standing under the mistletoe.” His lips covered hers and she couldn’t stop herself from wrapping her arms around his waist, holding on for dear life as he very thoroughly kissed her.
She was more than a little breathless when he pulled back from her a few moments later. “If you do that every time we’re under the mistletoe, especially with how you’ve put it everywhere, we won’t ever stop.”
“I know. That’s why I hung it in all of those places.” His mouth split into a massive grin before his lips covered hers again.
This time it was a few minutes before she ended the kiss, stepping away from him. “You’re trouble. We need to put on more clothes, and if you keep kissing me like that, we’re going to end up naked again.”
“And what’s wrong with that?”
“You’re ridiculous.” She took a few steps back, keeping him in her line of sight. “Now go put on snow appropriate attire.” She waved at the hallway. “You have to go first because I don’t trust you.”
Actually, she didn’t trust either of them.
“Yes ma’am.” He still had the top hat in his hand, and he stuck it on his head, winking at her before he turned around and headed for his bedroom.
Tilting her head to the side, she stared at his ass and how the soft cotton of his sweatpants clung to his body.
Okay, maybe she trusted herself less than she trusted him. Good Lord, a couple of rounds of good sex—really good sex—and she was as bad as a freaking animal in heat. Good thing they were about to go outside and play in the snow…maybe it would cool her down.
Fingers crossed.
It was less than fifteen minutes later when Jace and Adele headed out the front door, Katie leading the way, her tail wagging a mile a minute, clearly ready to play. Jace grabbed an old blanket on the way, tossing it on the wooden bench by the door. He had no doubt that Katie would inevitably get tired of the snow and cold and would need a warm place to curl up.
This wasn’t his first rodeo.
“Okay, snowman master, where do we start?”
“Over there.” Adele pointed with her gloved hand to a flat area beneath a tree.
“Lead the way.” Jace nodded before following behind her with the box of snowman parts under one arm.
He looked around them, taking in the view. The sky was a crystal clear blue, not a cloud in sight. Then there was the snow. It blanketed the ground as far as he could see, the cabin, the trees. Everything.
It was beautiful…but not as beautiful as the woman in front of him. Even in her puffy periwinkle snow coat, white knit cap and scarf, and black snow pants.
Who knew he’d find the whole thing beyond sexy? Because really, there were so many layers, so many things he’d have to peel her out of later. The thought had him grinning, something that was starting to feel like a permanent fixture for him when he was around her.
Once they got to the spot she’d indicated, he set the box down and off to the side. Pulling a red rubber ball from his jacket pocket, he showed it to Katie before tossing it off in the distance. She chased after it, barking at the silent air.
“Okay,” Jace said as he turned to Adele. “What first?”
“First we have to level the area,” she said as she started to shuffle around, packing the snow down beneath her boots before smoothing it out. Once that was done she nodded to th
e unpacked snow. “Now grab a handful and pack it into a ball.”
They both bent down at the same time, scooping up a good amount of snow with their gloved hands. Jace formed the ball before looking up at her again, waiting for her next instruction.
“Now you keep adding snow to the ball until you can’t hold it anymore.” She reached down, scooping up more snow.
Jace continued to follow her lead for the next little bit, doing whatever Adele told him to do. He started rolling the bottom ball around in the snow, making it bigger and bigger, while she worked on the middle ball. Whenever Katie would come back with her rubber ball, whomever she brought it to would pause to take it from her and throw it back out.
As was expected, Katie was finished with her snow time after about twenty minutes or so. Taking her ball with her, she headed back to the porch where she settled in for a nap.
Jace couldn’t stop himself from laughing, and Adele looked over at him. “What?”
“Your dog.” He nodded to where Katie had burrowed beneath the old blanket, the only thing visible her nose.
“She’s absolutely ridiculous, isn’t she?”
“But in, like, the best way possible.”
“Truer words have never been spoken. I really lucked out with her, best dog I’ve ever had. Best Christmas present I’ve ever gotten, too. Logan and Liam did a good job picking her out.”
“Just another reason you love the holiday?”
“One of many.” She nodded, smiling.
Jace had been there when Adele had gotten Katie. It had been Christmas Eve four years ago. They’d all been at Logan’s house when her brothers had made her sit down in the living room, telling her to keep her eyes closed as they’d gotten Katie from the backroom. The dog had been ten weeks old at the time, but much, much smaller than she should’ve been. She’d been rescued from a hoarding situation where something like a hundred dogs had been in one house.
The second they’d put Katie in Adele’s arms she’d opened her eyes and immediately started crying. The amount of pure joy coming from Adele had been pretty overwhelming. She’d loved that dog on sight, no doubt about it. And that love wasn’t one-sided, Katie’s short life had been filled with neglect, and she attached herself to Adele immediately. For weeks and weeks, that little puppy followed her everywhere and would cry if they weren’t in the same room.
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