Leslie said nothing, still only staring out into her backyard.
Erica’s temper flared hotter at Leslie’s silence. What’s wrong with her? “Do you know what she asked me?” She waited for an answer, or even the smallest spark of interest. When none came, she tightened her jaw. “She asked me if the reason you don’t come over anymore is that you think she’s weird, like the kids at school do.”
Leslie squeezed her eyes shut.
At least it was something. “She wanted to know if you don’t want to have dinner with us or come over and play games anymore because she’s weird, because she’s not like your little boy.”
Leslie went rigid, as though an electrical current shot through her.
“The little boy you don’t even admit—”
“Stop!” Leslie spun to face her. “Stop, right there.” She looked stricken. “You’ve made your point.” Her voice was icy. “Are you finished?”
Erica stilled. She’d gone too far—but even if she hadn’t been finished, the anguish in Leslie’s eyes would have silenced her as effectively as an off switch. “Yes,” she said softly. “I’m sorry if I crossed—”
“Okay, then.” Leslie clamped her arms around her middle. “I’d like you to go.”
Erica studied her, regret swelling in her. She shouldn’t have brought up Elijah. Why had she? She knew how vulnerable children made their parents. She knew the answer, though. She was there to protect her child. She’d lost sight of everything else, and in doing so, she’d hurt Leslie deeply. “Leslie, I’m—”
“Please go,” Leslie said, her voice trembling. Tears shone in her beautiful brown eyes.
Erica had noticed at some point that they were almost the same shade as Siena’s. The pain in them now hit her almost as hard as when Siena’s hurt showed in hers. Yet this was worse in some ways, because Erica knew she’d been the one to cause this pain. She had to fix it, but not now. Leslie obviously needed some time. Erica simply nodded, then turned and left.
On her way back across the yards, she wondered if she could have possibly screwed that up any worse. She never should have violated Leslie’s boundaries by bringing up Elijah. It wasn’t her business. Whatever Leslie had shared about him with Siena was between the two of them. And now, Erica would have to start all over again with a brand new conversation about Leslie remaining in Siena’s life again.
If she’ll ever talk to me.
Chapter Ten
Leslie sat at her computer desk where she’d positioned it in front of her living room window and watched Erica’s car pass by her house. It’d been two days since Erica’s visit Wednesday evening. When Erica had left, Leslie had spent the rest of the night feeling sorry for herself, then finally cried herself to sleep at about four in the morning. When she awakened Thursday, it hit her what an ass she’d been. She’d been so thoughtless and selfish when she’d made her decision to pull back, to create the distance she thought her heart needed from everything she’d found next door. She hadn’t been thinking at all. She’d just been running.
Her plan hadn’t worked, though. For the entire week and a half she’d forced herself to stay away from Siena and Erica, she’d been a wreck. She’d had difficulty sleeping and eating. When they weren’t home, she’d spent most of her time wondering where they were or what they were doing, and when they were, she’d had to force herself to stay in her own house, and sometimes even leave, to keep from throwing her whole plan out the window. And all of it hurt like hell. When she’d first seen Erica through the French doors on her deck, Leslie’s breath had caught. It seemed like so long since she’d seen her up close. She’d wanted so badly to take her in her arms and kiss her. It’d surprised her. But then the look on Erica’s face had registered, and the only thought in Leslie’s head had been, is Siena okay? Everything combined, she’d been in no shape to face Erica’s wrath, but she’d had no choice.
And wrath it’d been. Erica had come at her like a lioness protecting her cub, and Leslie knew from the moment Erica pushed past her that she deserved whatever was coming. She’d barely had time to steel herself before it hit. She’d been about to try to apologize when Erica had brought up Elijah and Leslie lost her ability to speak. Then it felt as though Erica had thrown him in her face when she’d said, A little boy you won’t even admit… Leslie had cut her off, but she knew the next words—won’t even admit to having. And Erica was right. Leslie had denied him, denied ever having him, ever loving him. And now she was trying to do the same thing—albeit differently, but still—with Siena. She deserved Erica’s anger, but more than that, she understood it. When someone hurt your child, all bets were off.
On top of that, it’d broken Leslie’s heart to hear Siena thought Leslie was staying away because she thought Siena was weird. What had she been thinking? Kids internalized everything. She couldn’t simply vanish from Siena’s daily life after the way they’d connected without there being a price to pay—for both of them, but Siena’s would be higher because she didn’t understand. If Leslie truly hadn’t wanted another child in her life and in her heart, she should have walked away that first day. She had to make all this up to Siena, and to Erica.
She’d spent all day Thursday pondering what she’d done, beating herself up, and working on a surprise for Siena. She’d planned to make her apologies that evening and try to set things right, but Erica and Siena hadn’t come home until well after Siena’s bedtime. Leslie hadn’t wanted to try to fit her apologies into the rushed routine before they left for school this morning, so she’d made herself wait. Ultimately, it’d given her the extra time she’d needed to finish the surprise, to make everything perfect. Now, here they were, pulling into their garage, and it was time.
Gus leapt off the new couch from where he’d been watching out the front window as well and ran to the French doors.
Leslie followed and let him out. The first few days of her self-imposed exile, he’d waited, even come back for her a couple of times before leaving her behind. By now, though, he only gave her a glance, then raced outside and through the gate. Today, Leslie would hang back long enough to give Erica and Siena time to get settled into being home. She also wanted to get over there quickly enough, though, so Erica didn’t start making dinner. She went into her kitchen and stirred the pot of spaghetti sauce simmering on the stove. She had a lot of making up to do.
When she stepped up to Erica’s open patio door, she saw Erica standing inside next to the entertainment center going through the mail. Leslie froze. Her body responded as strongly as it had that first day to Erica’s beauty, her stature, her demeanor.
Erica was turned away, an ash colored pencil skirt hugging the curve of her hips, the tasteful slit at the hem revealing just enough thigh to catch the eye. She wore a burgundy silk blouse with loose cut, cuffed sleeves, the silvery gray of the French braid that fell between her shoulder blades elegant against the rich color of the fabric.
Leslie swallowed hard. There was also that—confessing everything about Elijah and Cassie as well as her attraction to Erica. She should have done it two weeks earlier. That way, Erica would at least understand why she went all wonky. Now, though, Siena came first. Leslie knocked on the doorframe.
Erica’s back and shoulders stiffened slightly. Of course she knew who it was. No one but Leslie came to the back door.
She turned and met Leslie’s eyes. Wariness and hope warred in her expression.
“Hi,” Leslie said through the screen, her voice cracking. She cleared her throat. “Can I come in?”
Erica glanced up the stairs, then back at Leslie. “It depends on why you’re here,” she said quietly. Her tone wasn’t angry, or harsh, or even judgmental. It was neutral. “If you’re just here for Gus, I’ll send him home. I don’t want Siena seeing you, unless you’re going to come back into her life. I don’t want to get her hopes up.”
Leslie lowered her gaze, ashamed. She hated being someone Erica needed to protect Siena from. “Actually, I came to see Siena, if that’s
okay.” She looked at Erica again, searching her face. “I’d like to apologize and see if we can start over.”
Erica’s manner softened, and her expression went tender. “Thank you.” Before Leslie could answer, Erica turned toward the stairs. “Siena,” she called, “will you come down, please? You have company.”
“I don’t want to see Rosi.” Siena’s voice drifted down.
Erica gave Leslie an amused look. “Please, come in.” She walked to the bottom of the steps and set the mail on the newel post. “It isn’t Rosi,” she called to Siena again. “I promise.” There was a smile in her voice.
In seconds, Siena and Gus were halfway down the stairs. Gus started barking and yipping and ran to Leslie, as though he were the one who hadn’t seen her in over a week, but Siena slowed to almost a glacial pace. She stared at Leslie.
“Hi, Siena,” Leslie said. “I was wondering if I could talk to you for a few minutes.”
Siena said nothing. She watched Gus run back and forth between them.
“Would that be okay with you, Siena?” Erica asked.
Siena cast her a glance, then nodded. She continued down into the family room and stopped in front of Leslie. She gazed at her expectantly.
Leslie took a deep breath and knelt. “Siena,” she said carefully. She bit her lower lip. She was aware of Erica watching them and Siena’s reticence, so different from her usual talkative nature. Even Gus seemed to be waiting to see what Leslie had to say for herself as he planted himself on his haunches beside Siena. “Siena,” she said again. “I…I owe you an apology. I haven’t been a very good friend to you by not coming over anymore and not spending time with you. I’m sorry.”
Siena’s focus shifted to Gus, then out the window, then to the picture on the wall—anywhere but on Leslie. “Did you go away because I’m—”
“No,” Leslie said quickly, unable to bear hearing the word come from Siena. “It wasn’t because of you in any way. I promise.”
“Why did you then?”
The innocence in Siena’s tone tore at Leslie’s heart. She hadn’t considered she’d have to go into the details. She squeezed her eyes shut.
“Siena.” Erica’s voice snapped Leslie back. “I don’t think—”
“It’s okay,” Leslie said, holding up her hand. “Friends deserve an explanation.”
Siena finally met her gaze. She waited.
Leslie took a moment to gather her thoughts. How does one explain heartbreak to a child? But Siena wasn’t just any child. “Remember we talked about my little boy, Elijah?” Leslie began. “And how he lives with his other mom?”
Siena nodded solemnly.
“Well, that…” Was she really going to do this? “Him going somewhere to live with his other mom…wasn’t my idea.” Leslie’s throat threatened to close, but she pushed on. “His other mom didn’t ask me, or him, what we wanted. And I don’t get to see him, or even know where he is. And it hurt me…” Tears welled in Leslie’s eyes. She fought them back. “It hurts me very much in here.” She pressed her fist to her chest. “In my heart. And when I met you and realized how much I like you and enjoy spending time with you, and started feeling you in my heart, I got scared. I was afraid if someone took you away, I’d feel all that hurt again, if I couldn’t see you anymore. I thought it would hurt less if I stayed away from you on my own. I was wrong. And it was wrong of me to make you think it was your fault. I’m sorry.” A tear started to roll down her cheek, and she quickly wiped it away.
Siena tilted her head curiously. She went around the coffee table and opened a drawer. She took out a card and studied it, then looked back at Leslie. She showed it to Erica. “Is Leslie sad?”
Erica’s eyes glistened as well. “Yes, sweetie.”
Siena returned to Leslie and held out the card. It was a picture of a girl, crying, with the word sad printed at the bottom. “When I see someone who looks like this, I’m supposed to do this.” She patted Leslie’s shoulder. “Jeff says it’ll make you feel better.”
Fresh tears filled Leslie’s eyes, but these were of love. “Thank you, Siena. It does make me feel better. Very much.”
Siena stepped away. “Will you eat dinner with us, like you did before?”
And all seemed forgiven. Leslie swallowed the lump in her throat at the same instant she heard Erica choke back the combination of a small sob and a soft chuckle. She swiped away the moisture on her cheeks. “I was hoping you and your mom would join me for dinner at my house for a change. I made spaghetti, and I got Wonder Woman Golden Lasso ice cream for dessert.”
Siena’s lips rounded into an o.
“And I have a special surprise for you.” Leslie knew she’d gone a little overboard, but she had a lot to make up for.
“What kind of surprise?” Siena bounced on her toes.
Leslie grinned. “One you’re going to like a lot.”
Excitement sparked in Siena’s eyes. She turned to Erica. “Can we? Can we go over to Leslie’s?”
Erica gave Leslie a tender smile. “Yes, we can.” She returned her attention to Siena. “Let me get changed.”
Ten minutes later, as they approached Leslie’s back door, she stopped them. “Okay, you both have to close your eyes before we go inside.”
Siena immediately complied.
Erica arched an eyebrow. “Really? Me, too? I thought this was a surprise for Siena.”
“I want you to see it all at once,” Leslie said, moving in front of them to block their view. “Trust me. It will be better that way.” She could barely contain her own anticipation.
Erica sent her a teasing smirk, then obeyed.
Leslie reached for both of them, then caught herself. “Siena, I need to touch you in order to guide you. Is that okay?”
Siena nodded eagerly. “Hurry. My eyes don’t want to stay shut.”
Leslie chuckled and took each of them by the hand and led them through the doorway of her living room. She positioned herself where she could see both of their faces. “All right. Open.”
They did and gasped in unison. Identical wide smiles spread across their lips, and amazement shone in both brown and blue eyes as they took in numerous vines strung across the ceiling and down the walls; the artificial tree, the leaves of which created a canopy over Leslie’s workspace in the corner; and the large, fuzzy green snake that twisted around the lowest branch, its head dangling just above the desk chair.
Siena squealed. “It’s a jungle!” She jumped up and down. “You made the jungle!”
Erica was laughing.
“Look, Mommy!” Siena ran across the room and up the steps of the front staircase. “It’s Bagheera.” She hugged the stuffed black panther from The Jungle Book that Leslie had attached to the banister at the landing. “And Baloo!” She pointed at the bear in the far corner, then broke into song with “The Bare Necessities.” She twirled back to where Erica still stood just inside the doorway. She grabbed her hands, and they began to dance.
Leslie watched, pure joy filling her heart. The two moved in sync. It was obviously something they’d done many times.
At the end of the second verse, Siena spun away and turned circles in the center of the room, her arms outstretched. “I love our jungle!”
“What do you say to Leslie?” Erica asked, still laughing.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Siena ran to Leslie.
Without thinking, Leslie bent to scoop her up. It wasn’t until Siena had already launched herself into Leslie’s arms and was hugging her tightly around the neck that Leslie remembered Siena’s aversion to being touched. Apprehension seized her, but then she understood. If Siena initiated it, it must be okay. She squeezed Siena in a gentle embrace, then straightened, lifting her off the floor.
Siena wrapped her legs around Leslie’s waist.
It felt so good to hold her, Leslie almost cried again.
“I want to touch Kaa,” Siena said, reaching toward the snake.
Leslie moved to the corner and smiled a
s Siena petted his head. “Hello, Ssssssiena,” she said in her Kaa voice.
Siena giggled. “Is that Shere Khan?” she asked, looking at the tiger print couch.
“Yes,” Leslie said, standing her beside Gus on the cushion, where he’d been watching the entire show. “I wasn’t sure we wanted a mean tiger in our jungle, so I thought he’d be better as furniture.”
Siena dropped onto her butt and bounced a few times. “I like him as a couch. He’s not so scary.”
“That was exactly my thought,” Leslie said with a laugh. She glanced at Erica.
Warmth shone in Erica’s eyes, and something else, something Leslie couldn’t quite name. “This is going to take some explaining when you bring a date home,” Erica said in a teasing tone.
Leslie couldn’t hold back a short burst of a laugh. “All my numerous dates will just have to understand.”
Erica chuckled.
“And, Mommy, look at the Buddhas.” Siena rushed to the credenza near the front door. “See, the Buddhas can live in a jungle.”
Erica followed to where Siena was rubbing Hotei’s big, round belly. “And if you do this when you come in, you’ll get good luck.”
Erica ran her fingertips over the blue stone, then studied the other two statues. “These are beautiful.”
“Thank you.” Leslie walked up behind her. “I’ve had them a long time. They go wherever I go.” The fact that this was the first time Erica had seen them reminded her of the number of days she’d stayed away, which reminded her of what a shmuck she’d been, which in turn threatened to make her feel guilty all over again.
Erica was watching Leslie over her shoulder. That unidentifiable look remained in her eyes. She’d changed into a royal blue, sleeveless shell and a pair of faded jeans, but her hair was still woven into its intricate braid. She smelled of something light and floral.
Leslie wanted to breathe her in, to release her hair and run her fingers through it, to caress the creamy white skin of her upper arms. And all of that reminded her of the talk she still needed to have with Erica. And it needed to be soon. For now, though, she only wanted to enjoy the evening. “Who’s hungry?”
A Wish Upon a Star Page 15
