* * *
When Leslie returned to the waiting room, she saw Rachel in the chairs with Becky hysterically waving beside her. They both jumped up at Leslie’s approach.
Becky and Leslie had met only once at a barbecue she and Jack and their kids had been invited to, along with Nell and Paula. The main purpose was to let everyone who might be running into one another from then on to meet and get to know each other. Leslie had been struck by the true sense of family she’d felt that afternoon.
“How is she?” Becky asked, her eyes wild with worry.
Leslie filled them in on what the doctor had said, which wasn’t a whole lot more than what they’d known before, but somehow having been in the same room with Siena and seeing her made a big difference.
“And what about Erica?” Rachel asked. “Is she okay?”
“She’s holding up,” Leslie said, wishing she were still with her. She understood, though. “She asked me to go pick up a change of clothes for her.”
Becky looked at her strangely. “I can do that. Why don’t you stay—”
“I think she wanted a little time to herself.” Leslie hoped that’s all it was. She hadn’t wanted to leave, afraid Erica might be pushing her away, but then she’d been reassured when Erica said she’d text if she and Siena were moved.
“You’re good for her,” Rachel said.
Leslie looked at her in surprise. Hadn’t Trent said the same thing, or something like it? “I do what I can to help.”
“No,” Rachel said firmly. “You are good for her.” She leveled her gaze on Leslie. “You calmed her down tonight. That’s not always easy to do with mothers of special needs children.”
Leslie wasn’t sure what to say. She couldn’t really take credit. She hadn’t done anything but drive Erica to the hospital, talk to the security guard, and fill out some papers. She gave Rachel a small smile. “I know things were hectic and crazy tonight, but do you happen to remember where Gus was when you left? Did you put him in the backyard or leave him in the house?” She hoped he wasn’t outside. She wasn’t sure the fencing would hold him if he really tried to get out to find Siena. But what would he do locked inside? Suddenly, her need to go felt urgent.
“Oh, my goodness,” Rachel said. “I don’t know. I think he was inside, but he might have gotten out when the ambulance was there. I’m so sorry. It was all so fast, and I was worried about Siena.”
“Of course,” Leslie said. “I’ll just go check on him.” And give Erica her time. At least I’ll have the clothes she wants when I come back, so she’ll have to let me in. Right?
When she turned onto their street, her house was dark, but the lights were blazing in Erica’s. Leslie cut through her own place and went directly through the yards. No sign of Gus. As she approached Erica’s patio, she noticed something all over the lower half of the sliding glass door. She squinted at the red substance illuminated by the light behind it. Blood? She quickened her pace and fumbled with the handle.
A high-pitched howl sounded from inside, then something hit the glass—hard.
Leslie jumped back, then realized it’d been Gus.
He leapt at it repeatedly, scratching and yipping and howling.
She yanked open the door, and he flung himself at her. “Hey, it’s okay. Shhhh. Shhhh. It’s okay, boy.”
He shook violently in her arms, whining and crying. His feet were cold and wet with something sticky.
Leslie looked down.
His front paws were covered in blood.
“Oh, Gus,” Leslie whispered. “What did you do?”
He continued to cry but slowly became less frantic.
Leslie held him tightly against her and stroked his head.
A pathway of mingled and overlapping bloody footprints ran between the patio door and the front door, obviously from him running back and forth, trying to get out. A lighter stream ran up and down the stairs and through the kitchen. The bottom of the front door was covered in blood and marred with scratches and deep gouges. He’d clearly tried to dig his way out to follow Siena. Several of his toenails lay on the floor. One was imbedded in the wood of the door.
Tears filled Leslie’s eyes, and she clutched him to her chest. He rested his head against her and panted heavily.
“I’m so sorry, Gus,” she whispered. She sank onto the floor and rocked him.
As time passed, Leslie knew she needed to get back to the hospital, but she couldn’t leave Gus again, not in the state he was in. He hadn’t moved in the cradle of her arms once he’d calmed, and when she’d lowered him to her lap and continued stroking his head, he’d only stared up at her, his ever-present question in his amber eyes. “She’s okay, buddy,” Leslie said soothingly. “And you’re okay. Everything’s going to be all right.” Finally, she took out her phone and called Nell.
By the time Leslie got back to the hospital, she’d received a text from Erica giving her a room number and telling her to use the ER entrance again and Karen would give her a sticker to wear so no one would stop her on her way up. When she stepped into the dimly lit room, she found the scene not much different than the one she’d left a couple of hours earlier. Siena lay, resting quietly under sedation in a bed, and Erica stood beside her, holding her hand.
Erica smiled weakly.
“Hey,” Leslie said, letting the door close behind her. “What did you find out?”
“The CT came back clear, so there’s nothing to worry about from her hitting her head.” Erica stroked Siena’s hair as she spoke. “But she broke both of the bones in her arm. The orthopedic doctor said they’ll have to do a surgery in the morning to set the bones, then a metal rod will be inserted into Siena’s forearm to ensure they remain straight and in place during the healing process. In four months, she’ll need another surgery to have the rod removed.” Erica paled when she got to the second surgery, but overall, she seemed to be doing relatively well.
Leslie reached for her, but Erica discreetly evaded her grasp, taking the bag of clothing instead.
Erica came out of the bathroom ten minutes later, hugging herself, her outfit from the fundraiser stuffed into the grocery bag dangling from one hand. “This feels good. Thank you.”
Once Nell and Paula had arrived at Erica’s, and Nell had gently taken Gus to get him to the emergency vet while Paula started cleaning up the mess, Leslie had gone to Erica’s room and gotten her a change of clothes. She’d picked out a pair of soft blue jeans and a worn-thin Chicago Cubs jersey she’d seen Erica wear frequently since the weather had cooled to LA fall temperatures. She’d also grabbed her sneakers and a warm pair of socks. Hospitals got cold.
“How’d you know this was my favorite comfort shirt?” Erica asked.
Leslie smiled. “A wild guess.”
Erica studied her, her throat working as though she might say something, but she remained silent. The laugh lines around her mouth and at her temples were deep with fatigue. The crease between her brows revealed her constant state of worry. Gratitude swam in the pale blue of her eyes but beneath it, a school of fears.
Before Leslie could move to her or even utter any reassurance, a nurse came in and began taking Siena’s vitals. She smiled at Erica. “I’m Bridget. I’ll be on duty until seven and will be taking care of Siena.”
“I’m Erica, Siena’s mom.” Erica stepped closer to the bed. “And this is…Leslie.”
Yes. What else is there to say? Leslie flashed back to moments like these with Cassie and Elijah, only Cassie, at least, introduced her as a close friend. But what did she expect? It wasn’t like Erica would introduce her as her friend with benefits.
“My daughter has ASD,” Erica said, “So it would be good if we could keep the lights dimmed and the volume of the monitors low, if not off.”
“Yes, ma’am. The doctor has that in her chart,” Bridget said congenially. “Although it looks like she’ll be kept sedated until after her surgery for her own safety and comfort.”
Erica nodded.
�
�If you’ll both be staying, I can bring in another chair for you. And a couple of blankets?” Bridget added as she walked toward the door.
“That’s very nice,” Leslie said. “Thank you.”
When Leslie turned back to the bed, Erica was standing beside it. She gazed down at Siena. “She’s so little in this big bed. She barely takes up any of it.”
Leslie stepped up to the opposite side. “She’s strong, Erica. She’ll come through this like a champ.”
Erica didn’t answer; she simply stared at Siena. Then she made a choking sound in her throat and brought her hand to her mouth. “I need a minute,” she said and fled the room.
Leslie listened as the door closed behind her. She wanted nothing more than to go after Erica, hold and comfort her, but she honored her need to be alone. She leaned over Siena’s bedside and brushed a lock of her blond hair away from her eyes. It felt strange to touch her, since she did it so seldom. She knew Siena would hate it if she were awake, so she pulled her hand back. “You’re going to come through all this. You have to. Remember, we have your mom’s birthday next weekend,” she said softly. Had it only been that morning they’d been planning that? It seemed like so long ago. “And Gus misses you already, so you need to get home to him.” Poor Gus.
In that moment, Leslie’s phone vibrated, and she opened a text from Nell. At the vet. No major injuries. Cleaning out the wounds on his paws and stitching up where the nails were torn off. Had to remove 2 danglers. He’ll be sore for a while, but he’ll be fine. She sent her thanks, then thought of Nell’s only response to the middle-of-the-night call being, we’ll be right there, and Paula’s offer to stay at Erica’s and clean up all the bloody paw prints. Then she thought about Erica, and what Jack had said the morning he’d come over to take Siena to school. We try to look out for her because she’s doing this alone. She couldn’t imagine being in Erica’s shoes on a night like tonight, if she’d had to deal with all this alone. The thought made her realize Erica had been gone over ten minutes, and it drew her out into the hall. She found Erica outside the door, bent over, her arms clenched around her middle.
Erica immediately straightened.
Leslie reached for her.
“No!” Erica jumped back, her hands in the air. “Don’t touch me. I have to stay strong. I can’t break down. Not here. And if you touch me, I will. I can do this.”
“I know you can.” Leslie gave her some space. “But you don’t have to do it alone. I’m here.”
“I do.” Erica hugged herself again and drew up her shoulders, shrinking in on herself. “I do have to do it alone. I always have. It’s the only way I know how. And that’s okay. I can do it. You can go.”
“What?”
“You can go,” Erica said again. “You can leave. Go home and get some sleep. I’m sure we’ll see you when we get home.” Her gaze darted around the empty hallway. “After Siena’s released.”
What’s she saying? She doesn’t want me here? Fear sucker punched Leslie right in the gut. Her vision dimmed, and all she could see was the living room in her and Cassie’s house with Cassie’s books and photos missing from the shelves and the bare spot where the stereo had been. She remembered Elijah’s vacant closet, his missing toy chest. All she could feel was the emptiness of that day, and so many more after it.
But no. Erica wasn’t Cassie. She’d promised she’d never do what Cassie did, never kick Leslie out of Siena’s life. It’d been a different Erica that had said those things, though. Who knew what this Erica would do? And now there was even more at stake. Now, she’d let herself…What? Fall for Erica? Christ! Am I going to lose them both?
Anger at such a cold dismissal surged up in Leslie, but she fought to tamp it down. This wasn’t about her, or even about Erica and her. She knew a defense mechanism when she saw one. Erica was right. Handling things by herself was all she knew. Leslie couldn’t imagine Trent hanging around hospitals and doctors’ offices with Erica, waiting for test results and diagnoses. She also doubted this was the first time Siena had ever been injured and needed medical treatment and could easily believe Erica had faced it alone before. In stressful situations it was human nature to revert to the familiar. Leslie wouldn’t make this about herself, but nor was she leaving.
“I’m not going anywhere, Erica.” She sounded strong, but her insides trembled. “If you need your space, that’s fine, but you aren’t kicking me out.” She put a bit of a warning in her tone, since she knew Erica actually could do that if she so chose. There was no fucking way she was leaving, no way she’d let Siena wake up the next day and think Leslie had left her. She lost Elijah that way. She was taking a stand for Siena.
Erica either heeded it or hadn’t intended to force the issue to begin with, since she merely nodded.
Bridget brought the promised chair, along with a couple of blankets and pillows.
Leslie took her cues from Erica as to where in the room to position themselves for the couple of hours remaining before dawn and found herself on the opposite side of Siena’s bed from Erica. The chairs were the kind that at least partially reclined, and she wriggled around until she found a position that resembled comfort.
She stared at the ceiling, thinking of the day and evening, remembering how vibrant Siena had been during the planning of Erica’s birthday, how happy Gus had been stretched out between them, that first sight of Erica in her little black dress on the tiger couch. She remembered the moment she almost told Erica she didn’t want to be her friend with benefits, that she wanted so much more, and wondered if this moment would be different had they had that conversation.
She listened to both Erica and Siena breathe and took solace in the sound. She thought of Gus and hoped Nell and Paula had let him sleep with them. She considered saying good night to Erica but didn’t. She knew she wouldn’t answer. She was awake, though. Leslie could feel it. And yet, here they sat, not talking, not touching, almost as though they were nothing to each other.
What a far cry from how either of them had imagined this night might end.
Chapter Eighteen
“Gin,” Erica said, laying down her hand.
Becky tossed her cards onto the coffee table. “I don’t want to play anymore. You’re kicking my butt. It’s depressing.”
Erica laughed. “You’re such a bad sport.”
“I’m not a bad sport. I just hate to lose.” Becky lay back on the floor and stretched her arms over her head. “Besides, I had expectations. When you asked me to come over this afternoon because you needed some adult time, I assumed you’d at least let me win, since I’m doing you a favor. What’s that about anyway? I figured since you’ve been off the whole week with Siena, you’d be having plenty of adult time with Ms. Hottie next door.”
Nope. No time with Ms. Hottie. I’ve made sure of that. “My reason for staying home was to take care of Siena. She’s still on some pain meds, and the cast is making her more volatile.” Erica hoped her veer away from the topic of Leslie wasn’t obvious. “It’s hard and constricting and smelly and rough. You know, all the things that set her off? I wanted to stay close.”
“She’s sure been quiet this afternoon.” Becky said.
Erica started collecting the cards. “She’s been taking solid naps all week. The doctor said between the medication and her body still recovering from the shock of such a trauma, it’s perfectly normal for her to sleep more. In fact, it’s a good thing.”
“All the more time for you and Ms. Hottie.” Becky grinned. “You didn’t think I could be swayed off track so easily, did you?”
Erica rolled her eyes. “I should have known better.”
“Seriously,” Becky said, sitting up. “What happened with that? You guys seemed to be doing great, having barbecues, mingling your friends. You finally had what you described as fabulous sex—but only once, I’m sad to point out—and the two of you went to that fundraiser together. A real date. I saw how amazing Leslie looked that night, and I know how well you clean up. You two must
have been gorgeous together.”
Erica noticed Becky had been careful not to say that night at the hospital, drawing attention only to the earlier part of that evening. That night had begun with so much promise and possibility only to end completely in tatters.
A knock sounded on the patio door.
Erica stiffened involuntarily. She hated that she couldn’t control her reactions to Leslie’s presence.
“Speaking of the cabana goddess,” Becky said, looking over Erica’s shoulder.
“Come in,” Erica called. She heard the door slide open.
“Hi, Becky,” Leslie said lightly. “Erica,” she added in a slightly heavier tone.
“Hey, Leslie,” Becky said. “How’s Gus doing?”
“He’s hanging in there.” Leslie came around the end of the couch into Erica’s peripheral vision. “He hates the cone of shame, but his feet don’t seem to hurt him quite as much. He goes back to the vet next week to get his stitches out.”
Erica winced inwardly at the memory of seeing Gus for the first time the day they’d brought Siena home from the hospital. His front paws were bandaged, and he’d been hobbling in circles, obviously in pain, trying to get to Siena. It’d broken Erica’s heart. She’d been so grateful to Paula for her willingness to work so hard at cleaning up his bloody paw prints. It was difficult enough just seeing the smears that hadn’t come off the door and a few stains that still marked the carpet in the front room. He hadn’t left Siena’s side since, except for when she or Leslie literally picked him up and carried him outside to do his business.
“Erica?”
Leslie’s voice broke into her thoughts.
She’d always liked the way Leslie said her name. She looked up at her in response.
“I told Siena I’d come get her at three. Is it okay if I go up?” She jabbed her thumb over her shoulder toward the stairs.
A Wish Upon a Star Page 25
