by Lena Bourne
“That’s Snake going up to the big house,” Ace says. “Right?”
It takes me a couple of tries to find that area with my binoculars.
“Yes, that’s him. I’d recognize that ass-long, thin ponytail anywhere,” I say. “He seems to be running the show now, since he’s staying in the big house. That was supposed to be for Griff, his sons, and the execs.”
“All right, so it’s confirmed. They’re here,” Cross says, reaching for my binoculars. “Let’s get a count and then take some pictures.”
“I count about thirty,” Ace says after a while.
“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Cross says. “But let’s plan for twice that many. Take the pictures. Make sure everything is visible.”
Ace puts away his binoculars and pulls out an expensive-looking camera and starts clicking away.
Colt is standing very close to me, and I’m dying to feel his arm around me, despite the heat rising from the ground all around us. I lean on him and wrap my arm around his waist and he pulls me close by placing his arm around my shoulders just like I wanted him to. I love how connected we are. How we can practically read each other’s minds. How safe I feel when he’s near me, holding me, how natural feeling this way feels.
“What’s gonna happen to the Sinners now?” I ask quietly, thinking only Colt will hear me, but Cross turns to me sharply and pierces me with his black eyes.
“Do you care?” he asks.
I shake my head. “I’d like to see them all rot in hell.”
Cross nods and starts surveying the town again. I lean against Colt and hold him tight with both my arms around his waist now, not talking. We don’t really need to talk, and I don’t want to say the wrong thing again.
It was full dark when we returned to the motel. They sent me ahead into the room, while they conversed in the truck. I tried, but I couldn’t help fretting over what’s gonna happen next.
The maid had been in while we were out, and the room smells only slightly of bleach, because the scent of lavender is overpowering it. I suddenly miss Stormi viciously.
Where is she? Is she even OK? Did it work out between her and Ace? Is her sister all right? So many questions I wish I could ask Ace, but a good moment to just didn’t come up.
I lay back on the bed, turning on the bedside light because I need something warm and soft to keep the chill of night and this impersonal room at bay. The smell of bleach more pronounced here, coming from the bed linens that the maid also changed. I’m watching the truck through the crack in the curtains. They’re talking death and murder in there, and I showed them exactly where to deal it out.
I don’t know how I feel about that.
Not good. I do know that.
I also don’t know how I feel about Colt murdering people as a way of life, as his job, sort of.
Not great. I do know that.
The smell of bleach mixed with lavender is making me sick to my stomach by the time the door finally opens and Colt walks it, outlined in the light coming from the streetlights and the motel sign outside. Behind him. I can hear the truck pulling away.
He closes the door and just stands there, his eyes reflecting the soft light and glowing almost amber. He fills the room. He makes this room home. He would make any room, anywhere home for me. I know this. In my heart and my soul. All I have to do it is not think about anything else.
“What are you thinking about so hard?” he asks seriously, and slightly apprehensively.
I have a very mean resting bitch face. I know that, and I know it’s what he’s seeing right now, because it also comes up when I’m thinking real hard. Or at least, Stormi always told me so.
I smile and pat the bed beside me. “Come and join me. I’ll show you exactly what I’m thinking.”
He pauses just long enough to take off his jacket and let it fall to the ground before doing as I asked. He lies beside me, half on top of me, fully clothed, and kisses me so deeply, and slowly the butterflies in my stomach go from zero to sixty in less than a second. He tastes of the sand and dust, and wind, the open road, but also the setting sun and the peace of deep night when nothing that happens and is in the daytime matters. He tastes like everything I ever wanted and all the things I didn’t even know I wanted.
First, I lose track of time and then my mind loses its hold on my soul the longer we kiss. His hands are caressing my breasts and my belly, my neck, and my hair. Mine are hopelessly tangled up in his hair. I can feel his rock hard cock jabbing me in the thigh, making me want more than these deep kisses, his wandering hands, and his solid, dependable weight keeping me safe and secure. Everything else can wait. This is what I need now. To feel loved and worshiped and desired. To feel safe and desired and adored.
My lips are tingling from all the blood the kisses called to them as his slide off to kiss my neck. I sigh deeply, welcoming the fresh air in my lungs, and the sparkling pleasure his lips on my neck are waking.
“More,” I whisper as his lips leave my hot skin for a moment.
He obliges, his tongue once again demanding entrance into my mouth, his hands rougher as he kneads my breasts and pinches my nipples, sending searing pangs of desire down to my clit which I hope I the next to be kissed.
I slide my hand down his rock solid abs, loving every bump my fingers pass, and pull on his belt.
He stops me by laying his hand over mine and breaking away from the kiss.
“There’s no time,” he says. “I gotta get back to base.”
“What?” I half-whisper, half moan.
I’m literally not sure I understood him right.
“I have to go,” he says, his eyes boring deep into mine and telling me that’s the last thing he wants to do.
“You can’t stay the night?” I ask, just to make sure I’m hearing him right. I’m still not sure I am.
“I was supposed to leave right after them,” he says. “I’ve already stayed too long.”
I don’t know whether to yell or plead or what.
“You gotta do what you gotta do,” I say, settling for cold displeasure as I extricate myself from under him to sit up and lean against the headboard. There are so many pillows under the comforter that my back is now bent at a very awkward and uncomfortable angle, but I don’t care. It’s nothing compared to this discomfort his words are causing.
“I gotta,” he says sadly and sits up too. “But I’ll be back as soon as I can. And I’ll call you.”
He smiles and the sight of his bright, hopeful face does melt a lot of the ice I’m projecting. But not enough.
“Don’t be difficult, Brenda,” he says, and I love my name spoken by his voice. It’s like he was born to speak my name. Why am I mad? I suddenly have no idea.
“All right, fine,” I say and smile back. “But just so you know, I was really looking forward to having you all to myself for the rest of the night.”
“Yeah, ditto,” he says and grins. “But it is what it is. Once this job is over, we’ll have all the time in the world.”
“I’ll hold you to it,” I say and smile even wider, hoping it will chase away the dark thoughts gathering at the edge of my mind.
He’s a killer, he might get killed on this job. I’m falling so hard for him that it’s no longer safe. I’ve never fallen this hard for anyone. What if I get hurt worse than I’ve ever been hurt?
He leans over and kisses me again, deeply and slowly, chasing the darkness of all those questions away like a forceful, gusting wind that no dark cloud can stand before.
But they return once the door is closed behind him and the sound of his bike leaving is more memory than an echo.
Why do I care so much?
He’s just a guy that’s my ticket from the shit life I’ve lived with the Sinners to a better one somewhere else. So that nagging voice deep in my heart can just fucking shut up that he’s more than that. No guy is more than that. Either they use me or I use them. It goes without saying that the latter is better.
16
I could’ve fucked her before I left. My painfully hard cock is very insistently telling me I made a mistake not doing it. But I couldn’t fuck her and then leave her. I never had that sort of problem with other girls—girls I had for a couple of nights, maybe a couple of months, then never saw again, which is pretty much the sum total of my relationships so far.
Brenda is so much more than that. She’s worth so much more than being a soft, wet place to stick my cock in. I can’t even begin to unravel what that actually means. But I know it is so.
And as the cool night air hitting my face on my ride back to the bunker finally does its thing, my cock knows it too.
The air smells of cooling sand and green things, but Brenda’s scent is still foremost in my mind. Not even a long ride can chase that away—honeysuckle, lime, and long quiet evenings. Bravery and calm. That’s what she gives me. That’s what kissing her and holding her gives me. And that’s better than just coming. Because it lasts.
Soon I’ll reach the bunker, and then there’ll be no place in my mind for anything other than death. We’re moving against the Sinners hiding in that decrepit, abandoned town where they think they’re safe. It’ll be a slaughter. It’ll be hard.
It’s no place for Brenda, even if she’s only in my mind.
And I meant what I promised her. Once this is done, it’s just me and her for as long as it takes for us to get our fill of each other. I hope that never happens, but I’m not a naïve idiot. Nothing lasts forever. That’s not the nature of things. Besides, she’s a woman with a plan. And in my experience, those are the first to disappear.
But I won’t think of that. Not now. Not when my lips are still sore from kissing her, from her kissing me, and not while the disappointment and sadness in her voice when I told her I gotta leave is still fresh in my ears. That wasn’t fake. That wasn’t part of her plan, whatever it is. She wanted to spend the night with me, wanted my cock inside her and my tongue in her mouth. Wanted it as much as I did. There was no lie in her eyes or her voice when she made that plain.
Life’s too short and unpredictable for worrying. She’s right about that too.
So I won’t worry. I’ll just enjoy the memory of her and the promise in her eyes and her kisses for more to come. At the end of the day, it’s all I got. And I plan to hold on to it for as long as I can.
Ace’s eyes follow me as I turn off the main road to park my bike under the awning that’s just a darker mass against the night sky. The road’s not really a road either, just a flattened piece that’s starting to resemble a road given how many bikes ride along it daily these days.
“You’re late,” Ace says. “Come on.”
He disappears into the bunker and I jog to catch up.
“They’re already waiting?” I ask stupidly, since I never did learn to control my mouth.
“Just about,” Ace says, and leaves it at that.
Instead of to Cross’ small office, he leads the way down a corridor I haven’t walked yet. The doors lining it are steel and closed tight. At the end of it, a larger set of steel doors stands open and voices and light are spilling out.
Cross, Tank, Hawk, and Ice are inside, but so are Blaze and Eagle.
They’ve pushed the crates of weapons to the sides, stacking them up almost to the low ceiling to make room for a large table and chairs that take up most of the space. Hawk is sitting at one end surrounded by three laptops and a printer, which is hissing as it spits out yet another photograph. There’s already a stack of them beside the printer.
“Close the door,” Tank tells Ace once we’re in the room.
I avoid Blaze’s judgy eyes as I come to stand beside him just to the side of the room.
Cross is standing by Hawk’s side, examining yet another stack of photos. He didn’t give me one of his black looks, which I’ll take as a good sign that I didn’t fuck up by kissing Brenda for a bit before returning here, Blaze’s accusatory looks be damned.
Cross clears his throat and looks at all of us in turn. “All right, we’re here to make a plan on how to best take out the Sinners. The information Colt’s woman provided was solid. The Sinners are all in one place—a small, abandoned town in the middle of nowhere and surrounded by hills. As far as the place goes, it’s perfect for what we have to do. There're no towns or houses for miles around, and the road going past it doesn’t get much traffic. Ideal conditions, in other words.”
He pauses to scan the room again. Hawk stands up, takes the stack of photos, and walks to the center of the longer sides of the table where he starts laying the photos out. Little by little the puzzle he’s putting together turns into an aerial view of the town where the Sinners are.
“There are two problems,” Cross continues. “It seems they brought all their women with them, and we don’t know if the feds are watching the place.”
A lot of the guys grumble as Cross pauses again.
“After the fiasco at the bar, I’m not taking any chances this time,” Cross says. “We’re here to brainstorm ways of handling this fast and efficient and without taking any more risks.”
We all nod and make agreeing noises. Hawk’s done with laying out the photos. The photos now show a very good representation of the town as seen from the hill we were on.
“Surveillance first. I want teams on all the hills, so east, west, north and south,” Hawk says, pointing out the spots where he wants those teams on the photos. “Teams of two for better accuracy of the reports. If there’s no sign of the feds for the next 48 hours we can start planning phase two of this job. That’s my opinion.”
Cross nods. “I agree. We’re not rushing into this. And you’ll do what you can to find out what’s going on via other channels?”
Hawk nods. “I’ll do my best. But the feds are getting better and better at hiding their tracks online these days. Our best bet is to draw them out somehow, without risking too much, obviously.”
“Like a dry run,” Cross says. “I’ll think about it.”
“I wouldn’t delay much, though,” Tank says. “We got them on the run, holed up like a bunch of rats. But there’s no guarantee they’ll stay that way for long. I wouldn’t stretch this one out, Cross.”
I doubt any other member of the MC would dare address Cross this way, almost as though he’s questioning his judgment, but Tank and Cross go way back, kinda like me and Blaze. Cross shrugs and doesn’t seem fazed by Tank’s less than respectful interjection.
“I’m not gonna rush in, as I already said,” Cross says. “But I agree. We shouldn’t waste time either. I want the teams there tonight.”
He locks eyes on me. “Colt and Blaze, Eagle and Ace. I’ll assign two more when we’re done here. Colt, you’ll take the hill we were on earlier. Ace, you go to the eastern one, the one overlooking the entrance like we discussed.”
I nod, as does Ace.
“Hawk, you make sure they have all the surveillance equipment they need and that they know how to use it,” Cross continues. “And take food and water, enough for two days. I don’t want any movement after you’re in position.”
Two days lying on the hard sandy ground sounds like a very long time, but the thought barely crosses my mind. Not seeing Brenda for two days does. It feels kinda like a rock to the side of the head. But I know I’m getting a second chance with this assignment and I won’t fuck up again. It’s just not a possibility.
“And I want hourly reports,” Cross says. “Now go pack up. I want you outside ready to leave in thirty.”
Between taking a quick cold shower, changing and packing as many sandwiches, sports drinks and water as my saddlebags will hold, there’s not much time for talking or thinking.
I’m outside with about five minutes to spare, as are Ace, Eagle, Mac, and Tool. I get to be the one giving Blaze a judgy look as he finally comes out, carrying two large black bags. He’s followed by Hawk carrying two more identical black bags. Cross and Tank are right behind them.
“The night vision
goggles, binoculars, and cameras are in these bags,” Hawk explains. “I trust you know how to use them. First, I want the photos from all the angles, then I’ll give further instructions once those are done.”
“And I hope you all packed blankets,” Tank says. “It gets cold at night.”
Shit. I clean forgot that, but Blaze gives me a knowing look, points at his own pack, and gives me the thumbs up. As usual, he has me covered. Literally, in this case.
It’s decided we best not ride our bikes there, since the rumble of Harleys would be unmistakable and clearly audible to anyone in that town. It might make them nervous.
So another five minutes later we’re packed into the back of a white van, with Ice behind the wheel and Ace by his side, giving him directions.
We’ll have to climb up the hills we’ll be occupying, and there’ll be no easy way of leaving our posts. But we’ll also be as unnoticeable as we can be, and that’s the most important thing right now. Or should be. Though I’m not eager to face two days of no Brenda. I’m kind of dreading it, to be honest. Already the memory of her sweet, sweet lips on mine is starting to fade. I’ll need a refresh soon. I hope Blaze won’t be too annoying about me calling here once in a while.
17
Brenda
At first, I was annoyed that he just left, but then I went to sleep feeling good about the fact that he at least didn’t fuck me and leave right away.
The sun streaming through the flimsy curtain on the window woke me with the same soft feeling of being cared for properly. I’m not just a pretty piece of ass to Colt. I never thought I’d take that much comfort from knowing that. It was always the other way around for me. The prettier all those guys who thought of me as a piece of ass found me, the more I could get out of them. That was my goal for so long, from my late teens at least, that I hardly ever stopped to think what it’d be like to have genuine feelings for a guy. To genuinely care for him and care how he sees me.
