by Caro Carson
She reached into the brown paper grocery bag, and pulled out a random box. Instant oatmeal. That was fine.
But Travis, ah, Travis, he was more than fine, and he would be hers tonight.
Another box. Toothpaste. Fine.
She would have to make the memories of the coming night last for the next five days, though. The thought of not seeing Travis for nearly a week was hard. She’d just found him. Once she left for Austin—
“Sophia.” Grace jerked Sophia out of her fantasy. She was shaking her head no as she pushed Sophia’s hand back into the grocery bag.
“What is it?” Sophia looked into the bag. In her hand, she held the neat, rectangular box of a pregnancy test. She stared at it in horror; she’d almost taken it right out and set it on the counter.
“Why?” she whispered. “Why would you do this?”
Grace pulled her out of the kitchen with an artificial smile for Alex. “Girl stuff to talk about. Shoes for the dresses. Be back in a second.”
Sophia yanked her arm free in the living room, the same room in which she’d stripped Travis just two short days ago, the room in which he’d stripped her. She wanted to stay that way, bared to him, unafraid to be her true self. He’d seen her tears and tantrums, her scars, her fears. When she’d thought she was being terrible, he’d stood beside her and thrown tomatoes at the world. Dear God, he’d said it was easy to be nice to her. He’d kissed every inch of her body.
Now Grace had brought a pregnancy test into her kitchen.
“Why?” Sophia pleaded.
“You need to know, Sophie. You can’t keep telling yourself maybe it was a bad test, maybe you’ll get your period. Once you know for certain, you can decide what you want to do.”
No! The word was stuck in her head. She didn’t dare say it out loud; it would come out as a scream that echoed off the rafters of this great big lonely house.
Grace had it so wrong. Sophia would not get to decide what she wanted to do. Once she knew for certain, then she would have no choice but to deal with adoption agencies and obstetricians. She’d have to deal with Deezee in the worst possible way.
What she wanted to do was spend more time with Travis. That would no longer be an option, because what she would have to do was tell him she was pregnant by another man, and her time with him would be over.
She’d always known her time with him would be short. This wasn’t her house. This wasn’t her career. She could not hide here forever and go broke. But dear God, when she’d stripped herself bare in this room, she’d thought she’d have more than two days. She needed more than two days.
“Sophie?”
“July seventh.” The words sounded polite, if stiff. They should have sounded like they’d been ripped from her soul. “I should get my period on the sixth or seventh. If I don’t, I’ll do the test.”
Sophia forced herself to relax her shoulders, and tilt her head just so, and let the tiniest bit of an encouraging smile reach her eyes. “So in the meantime, let’s set that aside and focus on your wedding. I wouldn’t want to have to tangle with Bridezilla Gracie. She sounds pretty fearsome.”
Judging from the relieved hug Grace gave her, Sophia Jackson had just delivered another Oscar-worthy performance.
Chapter Sixteen
Sunset finally came.
The men left for the day—the young bachelors to crash in the bunkhouse, Clay to his own place off the ranch—and Travis experienced the piercing anticipation of having Sophia all to himself.
At the first sound of the barn door sliding open, he left his office and headed for her, his boots loud on the concrete, and he knew he had the arrogant smile of a man who knew he was minutes away from getting exactly what he wanted with the only woman he wanted it from.
“Sophia.”
Her sneakers were silent and so was she, tackling him so that he caught her and they turned 180 degrees, his arms around her body, her hands in his hair, their mouths meeting. It was like this every night now, this first moment of pent-up desire that had to be released in a crashing kiss.
He set her back on her feet, but she began kissing her way from just under his jaw down his neck.
He loved it, but he had to ask. “Are we celebrating a good day or blowing off steam after a frustrating day?”
She shook her hair back. “So many emotions.”
“The scene with your sister? That had to be a good emotion.” He didn’t know why she couldn’t have made the wedding in September, but clearly, the coming weekend had worked out for everyone.
Sophia locked her hands together behind his waist, as he did to her. Hips pressed together, focused on one another, they talked among the disinterested horses. Travis enjoyed the prelude; Sophia wasn’t the only one who looked forward to having someone to talk to every day.
“I thought my role in Grace’s life was kind of over. I can’t believe she wants me in her wedding that badly. Just as badly as I wanted to be there.”
“I can. If you were my sister, you’d be my hero, too.”
“Hero.” She wrinkled her nose.
“You stepped in when your parents died. You saved the day when her life could’ve easily fallen apart. You achieved your own success at the same time, and pretty damned spectacularly. I started downloading the line-up of movies that you star in. I didn’t realize there were so many.”
“I wouldn’t say I starred in them all, if any. Except for Pioneer Woman, most were just small parts. Supporting actress or ensemble work, at best.”
He gave her a tug, pressing her more tightly against the hardness that was inevitable when she was in his arms. “It’s impressive. You’re a hero, but I thank the heavens every day that you are not my sister.”
She deflected his praise. “I hope I didn’t show how surprised I was when Alex came in the kitchen door with you. It was kind of fun to have to pretend we’re just neighbors, or whatever we are. You were a very good actor, by the way.”
“Poker face. I could hardly look at that blue tile countertop now that I know it is exactly the right height for—”
She stood on her toes and twined one leg around his. “For a midnight snack?”
He dropped that casual kiss on her lips, the one that a man could give a woman when he knew he had time with her. He took her hand to lead her to his office. “We need to talk about who knows you’re here, though.”
He sat in the desk chair, knowing she’d sit in his lap and drape an arm over his shoulder. She did, but she was frowning. “Who knows I’m here?”
“Just the MacDowells who signed the lease, and Grace and Alex. But someone else who is physically on the property should be aware, for days I’m not here. I want to let... I want...what are you doing?”
“I’m leaving tomorrow for five days. I want to stock up on my moments.” She turned to straddle him.
He laughed a little until he realized she was serious. Her hand slipped in his back pocket for the protection he was now never without. She stood to wriggle out of her shorts. When she started to undo his jeans, he didn’t object, not in the least, but there was an edginess about her tonight that wasn’t familiar.
“There’s a perfectly good bed about a hundred yards away from here,” he said.
“I want you to think of me while I’m gone. Every time you sit in this chair, I want you to remember a special moment.”
That didn’t need an answer. It was obvious he’d never look at this chair the same way again. But there was that underlying edginess again, so he answered her anyway. “I’m never going to forget you, Sophia. Not one moment.”
She looked at him, blue eyes filled with what he could only call longing, and he wondered for the millionth time if this thing between them was really destined to end.
She closed her eyes and kissed him as she tore open the foil
wrapper. With her hands, she sheathed him. With her body, she sheathed him again, and he was lost to any kind of further analysis except yes and more.
He unbuttoned her cotton shirt, exposing the inner curves of breasts shaped by pink lace. He kissed the precious freckle first, then tasted as much softness as he could through the lace. She rode him, making him shudder almost immediately with the need to maintain some semblance of control. With his hands, he tilted her hips to make sure she was making the contact she needed for her own satisfaction.
She put two fingertips on his forehead and pushed his head back against the chair, then grabbed his wrist and moved his hand to the arm of the chair. Leaning forward, pink lace so close to his face, she spoke into his ear. “Hey, Travis? Sit back and relax. I’ve got this.”
She did. She definitely did.
He tried to take in the moment, tried to comprehend that this dream was real, so unbelievably, incredibly real. When they reached their completion, Sophia collapsed against him, her head on his shoulder. As her soft breath warmed his neck, he wrapped her tightly in his arms and savored this moment, too.
The tenderness stayed with him, every time. Sophia seemed to want it as much as she needed the physical release. She was a sex goddess who cuddled afterward. He was the man who appreciated just how irresistible that combination was.
It might be impossible to live without it.
She wriggled closer yet, keeping him inside her. His body felt thick and full, but sated—for now. It was clear to him that the hunger for her would never be satisfied for long.
“I can’t believe I have to leave you for five days,” she said. “I don’t want to. Not when we’ve just discovered each other.”
He kissed the top of her head. Twirled a strand of silver and gold around his index finger.
She pouted. “It’s kind of like the honeymoon phase, you know? That’s a rotten time to be apart. It’s not like we’re some old married couple and we’ve been together ten years or whatever. Then five days wouldn’t be such a big deal.”
Was she trying to convince herself that the power between them was just a novelty, a new toy they’d lose interest in someday? Surely an old boyfriend hadn’t lost interest in her and looked for greener pastures somewhere else.
“Sophia Jackson, if you push me into a desk chair and straddle my lap ten years from now, you will get exactly the same response from me. Ten years from now, twenty years from now, I will never have had enough of you.”
The moment was suddenly charged with tension instead of tenderness. He’d crossed a line. He’d said something he shouldn’t have, not when she’d told him from the first that this thing between them was going nowhere. It certainly wasn’t going ten years into the future.
He wouldn’t take it back. It was true: he would want her forever. He brushed the lock of her hair across his lips, and let it go.
She picked up her head and sat up a little straighter, then smiled as if she didn’t have a care in the world. “I’m looking forward to making more moments. We’ve got to stock up five days in one night. I hope you ate a big lunch.”
It was cute. She was overlooking his serious statement, offering to get them back on track. It was her olive branch.
He accepted it. “We may have to build in a dinner break. It will be more than five days. I spend a week with my family every Fourth of July.”
Abruptly, the conversation was serious again. “You won’t be here when I get back from the wedding?”
“Not for the rest of the week.”
“No, you can’t leave,” she pleaded, startling him with her intensity.
He slid his hands up her ribs and gave her a reassuring squeeze. “I can’t leave the ranch in May, but I do take time off. July is the slowest month for ranching. The calving’s done, the weaning hasn’t started. The cattle have plenty of natural grass to graze on. If I’m going to leave, this is the time to do it.”
“You won’t be here when I get back from the wedding? You’ll be gone the rest of the week?”
“Right.” He tried to soothe her with a smile. He offered his own olive branch, an easy way to keep things light. “But I’ll make it up to you when I get back.”
“Can you change your plans?”
The edginess was unmistakable, as if it were critical that he be available this week just so they could sneak into bed together after sunset. As if time were short, and this week in particular was all they had.
Something was so obviously wrong, dangerously wrong.
He held her more tightly. Her ribs expanded with each panicky breath between his palms.
“My family’s expecting me. My mom, my grandparents, brothers, sisters. Most of us are in ranching one way or the other, so this is our big holiday get-together. Kind of like Christmas for the Chalmers family.”
He shouldn’t be able to speak so calmly. How could he explain the mundane routine of his life when the best thing to ever happen to him was literally about to slip from his grasp?
She put her hands on his shoulders, prepared to use him for leverage as she stood, but he stopped her, a reflexive grip to keep her from leaving.
Her fingers dug into his shoulders, as if she didn’t want to leave, either. “When will you be back?”
“Sunday.” He tried to make it sound as normal as it was.
“What date is that? July tenth? Eleventh? It’s past the seventh, for sure.”
“Something like that. I’d have to look at a calendar.”
She said nothing, but misery was written all over her face.
“For God’s sake, Sophia. Be up front with me. Is this your last week in Texas or something?”
“No, it’s nothing. I hope. I don’t know. I don’t know what I’ll be dealing with next week. This thing between us...”
She kept stopping, running out of words. He couldn’t tell if she was angry or frustrated, nor if it was directed at him or at herself.
“What about this thing between us?”
“I knew it couldn’t last long,” she said defensively. “I told you there was no future in it.”
“This thing.” He was disgusted with the term. “You mean this connection. We are connected in every way we can be at this moment. So at this moment, you owe me, Sophia. What are your plans? What’s happening after this week? You can’t just disappear without a word.”
She looked away. “I don’t think I will.”
“You ‘don’t think’? What kind of answer is that?”
He deserved more. They deserved more.
“I don’t even know how long your lease is for.” He was angry that he should have to fight for basic information from her. He released her abruptly, but she clutched him as if he was her lifesaver.
What was going on?
She set her forehead against his, pinning him in place with such an intimate motion. Their noses touched as she whispered. “I have the house until January, the whole time Mrs. MacDowell’s on her mission trip.”
“But? Talk to me, Sophia.”
“I swear I don’t know what’s next, Travis. The future is really up in the air, but believe me that I’m not ready for this to end. I want to be here when you come back. I do.”
He wanted to take all these intense, bewildering emotions and push them into passion, make love to her until they were reduced to what they understood, communication of the most basic needs. His body was growing hard inside her. He couldn’t talk like this, and hunger be damned, they needed to talk.
He set her aside, stood and turned his back to her. Got rid of the condom. Tucked his shirt in. Prayed for... God knew what. Just a prayer: please.
Please, let me keep her a little longer. She was everything to him.
What was he to her? Someone she might leave, someone she might not?
He turn
ed around. She stood in his ranch office in her sneakers and short-shorts, with her million-dollar hair and lovely features. She didn’t look like anything else in his world. She had no connection to his life.
And yet this thing, this power, this connection between them existed whether it should or not.
He’d known from the beginning she wasn’t going to stay. Knowing it and facilitating a helicopter to take her away were two different things.
He forced himself to ask the question. “Are you going back to LA? Since the wedding forced you out of hiding, are you done here?”
“We’ll make it look like I’m flying back to LA, just like we’re making it look like I’m living there now. Grace is basically inviting the paparazzi to find her wedding by making sure I’m seen flying in. All I can do in return is try to appease the paparazzi so they don’t get too aggressive and ruin her big day. I’ve got to stop and answer when they shout questions at me, smile while they take photos. They’ll tell me to ‘look this way’ or ‘twirl around and show us your outfit,’ and I’ll have to do it so they’ll go away.”
She trailed her fingers over the computer keyboard on his desk. “It will help. They love a cooperative star. But it won’t be enough to bury all the negative publicity I already generated, so I’ll come back here after the wedding. I need to continue staying off their radar.”
She flicked a glance his way. He was sure his relief showed. He felt like he could breathe again.
She pushed the space bar on his keyboard, but nothing happened. He’d powered the machine down for the day.
“Have you never typed ‘Sophia Jackson’ in your search bar, just to see what horrible things I did?”
He shook his head.
“You weren’t tempted, even a little bit?”
“Braden told me enough.”
“Oh. The ball. I don’t think all those Texas Rescue people are going to be too thrilled to see me at the wedding. Alex is one of their doctors, you know. Half of the guest list volunteers for them. Maybe they’ll give me a second chance to make a first impression.” Her gaze drifted from the keyboard to the floor as she shrugged one shoulder. “Just kidding—I know it doesn’t work that way.”
