She shook her head and then squeezed my hand. “And I’m jealous of you.”
Once the noise died down, I asked, “What for?”
“You found a good guy who supports your dream. My last few boyfriends all turned out to be total losers.”
This was too much and it wasn’t good to lie. I shook my head and said, “Phoenix and I aren’t together.”
Her face scrunched up like I’d just told her I was quitting singing to become a horticulture major or something. “Why not?”
The words burned my mouth like I was spewing battery acid now. “Because our lives are too different. He walked out on the show. And I’m here to win.”
She said over the noise, “I get why Phoenix left. If I had a mansion, a limo, a dream agent, and a great career still in music … I’d not care about the show either. But you can win and still have him.”
And I had no argument against the truth. Phoenix hadn’t needed to win like the rest of us. He was already living the dream.
Sawyer finished his song and walked off stage, and I said, “You’re talented, Rihanne.”
“Thanks,” she said, and then it was her turn to head on stage.
I took a breath and grabbed my phone. I had about one minute. I heard the ringing and covered my other ear to block the noise of the show as I said to myself, “Phoenix pick up.” But I got his machine.
Drat. I shouted into the phone as loudly as I could, “Look, after the show airs, I’d like to talk.”
There. I’d said it. I powered off my phone and tucked it in my back pocket. Then I rushed to my place in the queue as I mumbled to myself, “I hope you get that message.”
The show continued on as usual. Sawyer had his last performance for a save. Then Rihanne. Jane sang like she always did: perfectly. The host then skipped my last performance in that minute and said, “Rihanne, you’re safe.”
This was a change. I hadn’t sung yet. My heart beat wildly as the host said, “Maggie.”
I squared my shoulders and said, “I’m ready.”
The host then asked me, “Maggie, are you here to show off your high notes tonight?”
I lifted my chin and a crazy plan rushed through me as I said, “Oh, absolutely. I want to sing from my heart and not hide my voice.”
The host said, “Good.”
I swallowed and followed my instincts as I said, “And I’m changing what I’m going to sing.”
The pop diva quickly said, “You can’t.”
The rules only allowed a change if the band knew the new song. I turned toward the director and said, “Sure I can. I’m sure they know ‘Angels We Have Heard on High’.”
“We do.” The band director raised his wand to direct the players.
Good. My heart was pumped now as I said, “Then let’s do it.”
Then, instead of the actual words of “Angels We Have Heard on High,” I let my voice go to the lyrics I had written as a teen for Phoenix. Maybe now he’d finally hear them.
“Stranger, you have caught my eye,
Sweetly stirring in my veins
And your certain love high
Going into joyous rains
With the Stranger that caught my eye …”
After the boisterous song ended, the crowd cheered. At least there was this. I swallowed and waited for my goodbye.
The British judge asked, “Did you just make up your own lyrics on the spot?”
Not exactly. This was something that had been on my mind forever, it seemed. I lifted my chin and said, “I’ve been missing Phoenix, for too long.”
The judge slumped in his chair. “That was brilliant, and your version of that song was record album ready.”
The pop star said, “You’re amazing. You know that.”
My new friend, the silent judge, gave me a thumbs up.
“We need to talk now,” the host said.
I knew what he was going to say with certainty as I said with a smile, “Go for it.”
“You’re safe.”
I hugged Sawyer and then my other contestant friends who all hugged me too.
I had no idea if Phoenix had heard my song. Every word was for him. I let the others go and said, “Thanks. I have to go.”
And then I ran. I’d been stupid and tossed away the best person in my life. I seriously didn’t deserve the second chance I was about to ask for.
17
Phoenix
I checked my hair again as Hank drove up in front of my house and parked the limo in my driveway.
Maggie made it sound like she wanted to see me. My pulse zipped. She probably wanted to say goodbye to me in person, but at least I would see her again, one more time.
My doorbell rang. I straightened the collar on the button-down shirt I’d tossed on with my jeans and opened the door.
And there she was. My blonde sweetheart was here, again. And my heart sang.
I flung the door wide open and reached for her. The second our hands met, a spark rushed through me. I hoped I would remember how soft her hands were for the rest of my days. Maybe I needed to write a song about them.
“That was beautiful singing tonight,” I said. “Come in.”
She crossed the threshold and for some reason, it was like I’d won some victory.
“You saw?” she asked.
I closed the door behind her and flipped a light on. She deserved all my attention.
“Phoenix …” she began.
And then I saw tears in her eyes. I reached out and brushed them off her beautiful face and said, “Maggie, don’t cry. Seriously, next week you could be the winner.”
Her face contorted but she stopped sniffling as she said, “That’s not what I’m crying about.”
“What’s going on then? I have the contract that Mark wanted to go over with you,” I said quickly, “It came in while you were on the air. I can get it to show you I meant what I said.”
She nodded and followed me into the studio as she said, “I believe you. It’s why I had to come over.”
I wanted to kiss her. I ached to kiss her, but I didn’t dare. Instead, I put my hands in my pockets to stop myself as I said, “I’m happy. I love you.”
She tilted her head and stared at me with a blank expression as she asked, “Why?”
I went up and down on my toes as I said, “Because you burst into my life and made me see color and find the muse in my soul.”
She licked her lips and said, “No. I mean, that’s sweet, but … I’m having trouble finding the words I want to say.”
Electricity was pulsing in my fingertips. But instead of pulling her to me and kissing her, I blurted out, “We’ve earned over a million dollars on that song already. Once you meet with Mark and sign the contract, you’ll have enough seed money to do whatever you want.”
Her face paled and she stepped back as she said, “No way.”
“He’s looking forward to talking to you once the show ends.” I took out my phone and opened the spreadsheet Mark had sent and scrolled to the bottom with the total. I held it out to her as I said, “It more than covers your costs of coming to L.A. with your parents.”
“Good,” she said.
Then I picked up Mark’s contract from the desk and handed it to her. She took a quick look and handed it back to me without saying anything.
So that wasn’t why she was here. I licked my lips and glanced away. She radiated a goodness I didn’t deserve.
“I signed for a new album,” I said. “I’ll be performing smaller venues so I have time to continue my songwriting career.”
She moved closer to me. I looked down at her black flats as she asked me, “And that’s what you want?”
I wanted to reach for her hands, but I stilled and said, “Yes. I don’t need the crowds to feel complete. I need my music and you.”
She looked up at me. “Is it okay that I still want to win?”
“Of course.”
She glanced around the studio at the equipment and spotted the s
ong I’d been working on. She pointed to the screen, “’Alone at Christmas’?”
“Yeah.” I massaged the back of my head as I wasn’t sure what was going on. I said, “It’s the honest story of how I feel.”
She squared her shoulders and met my gaze as she said, “Phoenix, I came here to find out if you and I might work out, despite the differences in our lives.”
Adrenaline coursed through me as I asked, “What was that?”
She came toward me and took my hand in hers and said, “I came to see if you want me. I love you.”
She did? It was like a star had blasted into my heart and exploded to make it grow. I said, “I love you too. I want you to move in here. Hell, I’ll marry you if that’s what you want.”
“First I want to win, and then find out what happens next, after our six-month tour that we’re both contracted to be on. And I want us to be together because I can’t imagine my life without you anymore.”
I folded my fingers on hers. My skin buzzed. Seriously? She loved me too. I trembled a little as this wasn’t what I’d expected. But my gaze narrowed as I asked, “Why?”
She covered her lips and rocked on her feet. “Because I never felt the way I feel for anyone else, except you.”
My entire being wanted to kiss her again and hold her tight, but I held back. Her love was everything I ever wanted. But I wasn’t sure what to do next. I leaned back and accidentally turned on my recording equipment as I said, “You’re perfect, and I’ve made mistakes.”
I turned around to turn off the machines, but she hit the power button first. I turned toward her again as she said, “I’m hardly perfect. I made decisions without trusting my heart. What kind of perfect girl does that?”
“You were stressed, and I didn’t prove my words were true,” I said. I understood that part. I’d grown up seeing how stress ate up co-workers on that show I’d done as a child. “And I need to tell you about Fiona Desiree.”
Her face drained of color and she crossed her arms like she needed to hug herself as she asked, “Are you in love with her?”
I stepped closer and her skin against mine made my hair stand on its ends. “No. Not at all. I never was.”
She reached out and held my arms as she asked, “Then what?”
I licked my lips. This was painful to admit. I said, “I almost killed her. I drank that night and crashed the car. That’s why I got kicked out of Indigo 5 and ruined my life. It’s why I’ve felt guilty for years.”
She nodded like she could accept that, maybe even forgive it. Then she said, “Luckily you were both okay.”
Maybe I needed to forgive myself. If I was going to choose love over fear, then I needed to be honest. I lowered my head and said, “Fiona ended up in the ER, and had months of physiotherapy afterwards. I met with her yesterday to apologize.”
Her face contorted as she asked, “Was she hurtful like her words on the show?”
I massaged the back of my head and said, “No. I thought I had ruined her life. Turned out she had just happily retired.”
She shrugged, like I hadn’t said anything earthshattering. “She sang like herself the other night. I remember that song on the radio.”
“But I thought I’d ruined her life, and I promised myself to never hurt another singer’s chances.”
“It’s why you helped everyone on the show.”
I tried to understand how she could be so accepting.
But my heart changed its tune to a more dramatic ba-da-da-dum beat as she said, “I’m glad she’s okay, and you talked with her, so you don’t have to feel guilty anymore.”
I squared my shoulders and told her the entire sordid story. “When the accident happened, I … didn’t call the police. I called Mark, and he called them.”
“That wasn’t smart.”
“I’m not smart.” It was all in the past now, but I needed to tell her about my life so she understood the person she said she loved. “I wasted valuable seconds that mattered, and that guilt ate at me, until yesterday.”
She traced the buttons on the console like she wanted to hear my demo as she said, “You learned your lesson the hard way.”
It was true. I grew up fast in that moment. But I wasn’t sure that was enough. My voice was unusually gravelly and I choked on my words as I said, “I don’t want to ever hurt you like that.”
“You won’t.”
“How do you know?”
She said bluntly, “Did you drink last night?”
“I wanted to,” I said, and came closer. Her hair smelled like strawberries.
She bumped into me with her hip and asked, “But did you?”
“No. I’d never do anything so stupid again in my life.”
Success meant no more drinking for me. And with Maggie I had the world.
She pressed the play button and sat back to listen to my song as she said, “Good. Then I trust you’ve learned your lesson.”
My lyrics made it clear that I wanted Maggie back. Now she was here, and she loved me. I’d be stupid to send her away. I took the seat beside her, the same way we’d been when we recorded our album, and said, “I hope so too, because I want you in my life, Maggie.”
Her eyelashes fluttered and she pressed closer as she asked, “You do?”
She was right. I’d learned my lesson. And I’d do everything in my power not to destroy my life now that it was this good. With Maggie, I had everything. I curled my hands in her hair to hold her closer as she tipped her face up to kiss me, and I said, “I love you, more than anyone else in the world.”
“I love you too,” she said. And then I met her lips.
The truth was out there now.
No more hiding.
And Maggie tasted even better than the last time. Maybe it was me. Maybe it was because I realized that love mattered more than any of the other noise, including the last beat of my sad song that played behind us.
18
Maggie
I woke up to the earthy aroma of coffee near me. I sat up on the couch I’d crashed on a few hours ago.
I jumped up, as I needed to get back to the TV studio, now.
Sneaking out was bad. But as I woke up and rubbed my eyes, I saw he’d set up a delicious spread with hot rolls.
My mouth watered as I stood up and then rushed to my bag to grab my overnight supplies and clean up fast.
Soon I’d eat rolls like that again, but I wasn’t going to lose the competition on some bread technicality.
I needed to say goodbye and go.
Phoenix hadn’t been in his recording studio, but I rushed into the living room just as he opened his front door.
My heels skidded to a stop. A gray-haired man with an old school presidential hair cut, wearing gray slacks and a white shirt with the top button open, came in.
I tossed my small bag on the counter and stepped towards them.
Phoenix’s face was dimpled in a smile. He made my skin all warm and tingly when he came over to me and took my hand while he said, “This is Mark.”
His agent. I held out my other hand for Mark to shake and said, “Mark, it’s nice to meet you in person. But I need to get back to the studio.”
The studio heads would give me my final number soon.
“We have ten minutes, and then twenty more. I spoke to the studio executives who are friends of mine. Relax.” He stepped toward the breakfast set-up and poured himself a cup of coffee as he said, “Neither one of you looks like you slept.”
Trust. I took a breath and reminded myself to stay calm.
Phoenix grabbed two cups and poured coffee into them as he said, “We’ve been in my studio, recording.”
He handed me one, and once Mark had finished his first sip, he motioned for Phoenix and me to sit down. We sat together on the couch where I’d just crashed.
“My favorite client wanted us to meet,” said Mark. “We can easily get the released song profits cleared up for you.”
Phoenix put his coffee down untouched
as I sipped mine. Then he placed his hands on his knees and said, “That’s why I invited you over. And I wanted you to meet her so you can see how talented she is.”
I vaguely remembered Phoenix’s plan last night to ask Mark here this morning.
“Well, I’m here,” Mark said. “And I’d be interested in being your agent, Maggie. If you want me.”
Phoenix spoke first, “Maggie wants to win her competition and get the stadium headline tour.”
He nodded at us and said, “My representation would be for anything outside of the show.”
Phoenix folded his hands together like everything was settled. I asked, “Can you get me more than the one album?”
Mark nodded again. “I know everyone in New York and L.A. I won’t promise you the world, but if you give me what my contacts want, they’ll listen to you because I sent you in.”
Phoenix bounced out of his seat and stood by the console, ready to hit the button to play for Mark what we’d worked on all night.
I said, “Okay. I’d like that.”
Mark smiled and handed me some papers to read.
Phoenix was right. There was a million dollars in escrow right now. I’d sign and get half a million.
People must have loved our Christmas song. I signed that contract and the representation agreement and handed them back.
Mark asked, “How’s my new stuff coming, Phoenix?”
“I’ll finish it off soon, but I wanted to get your honest opinion on this.”
“Play it,” he said.
Phoenix hit the button and took a seat next to me again. Mark closed his eyes to listen. I stilled, as I wasn’t sure what he would think of it, but Phoenix drank his coffee like all was normal.
As the song wound down, Mark said, “Oh, it’s a duet love song.”
Phoenix put his coffee down and turned off his sound system as he asked, “You think this is marketable?”
Mark glanced at me like he knew some secret and then said, “I think with your two names and voices attached, I can sell a love song. But I won’t touch this until you win.”
“Thanks,” I said quickly.
He turned to Phoenix. “I need a solo from you, too. Think magical moment, something people will want to dance to on their wedding day, and amp that up.”
Legendary Rock Star: Enemies to Lovers Romance (Steel Series Book 1) Page 13
