Doug nodded to the cabin. “Let’s head inside.”
Aaron helped with their bags, and Doug hauled in two cardboard boxes. How long were they staying? He’d just set the bags down inside when Mackenzie poked her head out of the bedroom.
“You’re up.”
She swiped hair back from her face, her eyes still tired despite the nap.
“Sleep okay?”
“A little.” She came over and stood by him, eyeing Doug with hesitation.
“Mackenzie, this is my former team leader, Doug Richardson. Sabine’s fiancé.”
They shook hands, and when she stepped back, Aaron put his arm around her shoulders. She glanced up at him, but he ignored it. “Why don’t you just tell us the news that I can see on your face, Doug?”
The big man nodded. “Okay. But let’s sit first.”
“I’ll put a pot of coffee on.”
Mackenzie’s attention zipped to Sabine. “Oh, the coffeepot...” Her nose wrinkled.
“Girl, tell me about it.” Sabine laughed, pulling back the flaps of a box. “Brought my own.”
Sabine drew out a coffeemaker and plugged it in. Aaron could appreciate this woman’s idea of roughing it.
They made small talk while the mugs were all filled, and then Doug sighed.
“Just spill it already.”
He shot Aaron a look. “Fine. Your girl here is all over the internet. The kids at the center must have figured out who she was, because they got a photo of her back when she was Lani and paired it with one taken recently. It was a nice gesture, ‘Stay safe, we love you,’ but the meme went viral, or whatever you call it. Now everyone knows who she really is.” Doug sighed. “The media is running the story now.”
* * *
Mackenzie strode to the window. The world outside was quiet. If she closed her eyes, she could almost forget other people even existed. Or she could try. It was a nice dream. Too bad it might get her killed.
Her identity was supposed to be a secret, and now everyone knew the shame she felt over the girl she had been. Wasn’t it enough that Aaron and his friends knew she used to be Lani? Now the whole world would know the selfish girl who was Mackenzie’s former life. She touched the glass with her fingertips and hung her head. Hadn’t she paid enough?
Aaron made his way to her, but she couldn’t deal with his comfort. If he was kind, she would lose it. This was all too embarrassing.
“No way.”
Mackenzie glanced over at Sabine, ignoring Aaron now beside her. “What is it?”
Sabine was on a laptop, tapping away at the buttons. She was probably touching base with contacts of hers who might be able to shed light for them on Carosa’s whereabouts or something. Why did everyone seem to know what they were doing here except for Mackenzie?
“I don’t believe this.”
Mackenzie sighed. “What now?”
“See for yourself.” Sabine turned the laptop on the table.
On the screen was a social media website. In the middle were two pictures side by side.
The left hand one was Lani Anders at the height of her career. The picture on the right was a snapshot of Mackenzie that had been taken from someone’s phone. She remembered the day, one of the kids’ seventeenth birthday. Mackenzie had brought cupcakes for everyone. She hadn’t thought she was in any of the shots.
That must be what Doug had been talking about.
“So what? Isn’t that what Doug just said? Why do we all have to look at it?”
Except that underneath the picture it now read, “$1,000,000.00, Dead or Alive.”
EIGHTEEN
“Before it was nothing more than a nice message that might have outed your former identity. We weren’t going to let anything happen to you, so it wasn’t the end of the world. This meme has the same pictures, but someone doctored the words. Now it’s a bounty for your capture.”
“Or my death.”
“Yes, that might pose a problem.”
Mackenzie rolled her eyes. “Right, because Eva betraying me and mercenaries trying to abduct me wasn’t enough of an issue, we needed things to get even more complicated. Why won’t Carosa just leave me alone? Why is he sending all these people after me?”
“I actually have a theory about that.”
Aaron and Doug both looked at Sabine, but it was Mackenzie who said, “What do you mean?”
“Well, maybe they’re working together and they hired the mercenaries to get you. But what if Carosa didn’t know where you were until now? It’s also possible that everything that’s happened to you since your tires were slashed is on Eva. She could have hired the mercenaries to get you and keep herself removed. She used Schweitzer and killed him. Maybe she’s working with Carosa and she’s going to deliver you to her uncle, or maybe she’s after revenge for herself. Or both.”
Sabine pushed back her chair and stood. “Look, no one knows we’re here. If anyone did get the idea of chasing us down, there’s enough ammo to take care of it.”
The two men stood behind Sabine with similar looks of pity on their faces.
Mackenzie pressed a hand to the spot where she’d been shot. “I’m really trying not to be melodramatic here, but it’s really hard. Everyone who sees that...”
“It’s called a meme.”
Mackenzie stared at the picture. The teenage face, the pop-star clothes. She squeezed her eyes shut. “They’re all going to know who I was. And then Carosa’s going to come and kill me.”
Sabine frowned. “I used to listen to your music when I was in high school. It was pretty good. Is it really such a big deal if people find out who you were?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
Mackenzie’s chest heaved. “Because I hate her. That spoiled, selfish little... She makes me so mad!” She pointed at the picture on screen. “The girl in that picture didn’t care about anyone or anything but herself and what she could get. Her parents might not have cared one bit either, but that didn’t excuse her behavior.”
“You’re ashamed.” Sabine’s words were soft.
“Of course I am!”
“I understand.”
“You can’t possibly—”
Sabine came over and caught Mackenzie’s hand, squeezing some warmth into it, but Mackenzie couldn’t let herself accept the comfort.
“God can wipe it away. He takes our sin and makes it as though it never happened. Do you believe that?”
“I’m a Christian. But it doesn’t just disappear. I should know, because it’s been years and it’s still right there in my head. All the time.” Mackenzie looked away. “Maybe your sin is as if it never happened, but mine isn’t. It can’t just get swiped away. There’s no such thing as a clean slate.”
“You’re wrong.” Sabine’s voice wasn’t full of judgment, but compassion.
Mackenzie blinked away the tears and looked back at her. “No.”
Sabine reached for her hand. “You’ve been holding on to your guilt all this time. There’s no need. Not when you can give it up, ask for forgiveness. It’s not a trick that sends it away all of a sudden, it’s living in grace. In God’s love...for you.”
The nausea from seeing herself on the computer for the world to see sat in her stomach like bad shrimp. She had to get rid of it, but she didn’t know how to let go of the shame.
Sabine took a step closer to her. “Mackenzie, it’s just—”
“No.” She shook her head so fast everything blurred, and backed up into the hall. She couldn’t let Aaron see her like this. It was too embarrassing. He was supposed to think she was good and strong, but she wasn’t.
Aaron strode over. “Mackenzie. None of this changes—”
She slammed the door in his face.
* * *
<
br /> Aaron rubbed his nose where the wood of the door had grazed it. He could hear the hitch in her breathing. She was crying. He shut his eyes and put a hand to the door, wishing he could shove his way through and get her to listen to reason. Was she really so embarrassed that they’d seen her picture?
His heart broke for this talented, beautiful woman, full of promise and life. She had probably gotten used to fine things as a singer. Now she was a woman with a mission to help kids discover what they could do. What could he give her? And yet he couldn’t ignore the way his heart seemed to have opened to her.
When it came down to it, she was as damaged as he was.
And yet Sabine seemed to think God could wash it away. As if it had never happened. Aaron was scared to believe that was even possible. What if he got his hopes up, and it didn’t go anywhere?
Sabine sat at the kitchen table. “I didn’t mean to upset her.”
Doug laid his hand on her shoulder and squeezed.
Aaron forced his tired body across the room and lowered himself into a chair opposite her just as Doug did the same. “It wasn’t your fault.”
Sabine’s mouth flicked up at the corners, but her gaze stayed on the computer screen. “It probably could’ve been better, though. But you know what I’ve learned from all the fights I’ve had with Doug? People get upset and angry because they care. It says something about how she feels about you that she’s making sure she attacks you first because she’s scared that what you’re going to think will hurt.”
Aaron winced. “I’m such an idiot.”
Doug leaned back in his chair. “I could have told you that.”
“Just you wait. I’ll charm her yet, and you’ll be eating your words.”
Doug tipped his head back and laughed. How could this man have given up Delta Force? The guy was born for the military and yet he was interviewing for a private security company and building a life with Sabine. Ahead of them was marriage, a family.
Part of Aaron wanted that with Mackenzie.
He turned to Sabine. “Do you really believe that, what you said about living in God’s grace?”
She nodded. “I know it’s real, because it happened to me. I had to give up my preconceived notions of what faith is like, but now I know. It’s freedom.”
Doug put his arm around Sabine’s shoulders. “Why don’t you give us the update?”
Aaron was glad for the change in subject. Had his friend seen his discomfort and given him the out?
Still, Sabine’s earnest belief and the change he’d seen in her since she met Doug all testified that God’s love really did change a person.
Sabine reached for the laptop. “So the meme the kids did for Mackenzie is now some kind of twisted wanted poster.”
Aaron’s hands tightened into fists. “Maybe she should be on the first plane somewhere Carosa will never find her.”
Doug’s mouth twisted in a grin. “She’s the one.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Just something my dad said to me. I didn’t believe he could’ve seen it until I saw the look on your face just now. This girl is it for you. She’s the one.”
“And I might have figured it out too late. I can try, but clearly she doesn’t want me in her life past this joyful experience and I don’t blame her. I haven’t been thinking about her at all. Just myself.”
Sabine squeezed his hand. “You’re going through a lot, as well. You were trying to protect what you have left. And help Eric. You’ve been in a rough place, wondering what will happen when you get back and—”
Aaron shook his head. “Don’t try to make me feel better.”
“Mackenzie cares for you, and she thinks you don’t feel the same. She’s so scared of it, she’s pushing you away the same way you pushed her away.”
How had Sabine seen what he’d tried to keep to himself? “Mackenzie doesn’t love me.”
“Once she calms down and gives you a chance to explain, you’ll see I’m right. Most of what that was is Mackenzie’s own internal stuff. She’s going through a lot with this.”
“You think I don’t know that?”
Sabine smiled. “But you are a guy, so I’m going to say it. You can get mad if you want, but she’s dealing with a lot of guilt and shame over who she was when she was Lani Anders. It’s been buried for a long time, but seeing that meme finally brought it out. She needs time to deal with her former identity being exposed. Then you can tell her how you feel.”
“That’s the problem. I’ve actually got to get her to listen.”
Sabine tucked some hair behind her ear. “I get the impression she’s lived so far under the radar she hasn’t really let herself get close to anyone. A lot like the way you’ve never committed to anyone because you’d rather keep things light. It has to be hard to be confronted with all these feelings she’s never had before...maybe even overwhelming.”
Aaron rolled his eyes. “You know, you could actually try to be comforting.”
Sabine burst into laughter. Doug swung his arm around his fiancée’s shoulder. “That’s my girl. She says it like it is.”
“Yeah, no kidding.” Aaron squeezed his neck. “Do you think I can do this relationship stuff? I’ve never really tried.”
Doug shook his head. “You don’t know for sure that you can’t. I never believed a relationship would work, or that a woman would ever want to marry a soldier who’s always gone. Now I’m in a different place. If she’s the one for you, then you walk it together. You keep her in the loop, and she does the same for you. It’s communication.”
“Great. Communication was never my strength. You know I’m much better with action.”
Sabine grinned. “I’m pretty sure she already figured that out.”
He hoped so. This relationship stuff was complicated, and Aaron didn’t want to mess it up. Mackenzie deserved his best effort if they were going to make something out of this.
But first, he had to get her to talk to him.
* * *
Two hours later, Mackenzie was trying to focus on a book Sabine had brought for her. Wrapped up in an oversize sweater she suspected was Aaron’s, she was on the couch, cocooned and trying to pretend Carosa wasn’t out there. As if the world was, in fact, a safe place to live.
The men had been in and out, patrolling the perimeter. They were acting as if this was a war zone, but maybe they just needed something to do. She sure did. The book was supposed to an epic wartime love story, but her heart wasn’t in the right place to get lost in someone else’s emotions.
Sabine ran out of the bedroom with her laptop. “Something’s going on. It’s all over the internet.”
“I can’t believe there’s even a connection up here. We’re in the middle of nowhere.”
Sabine waved off her comment. “The guys set it up like that. There’s a hut across the way that hunters sleep in occasionally, when they find it. The satellite internet goes to there and we’re directly connected to it. But to intercept the signal you’d have to literally dig up the cable between that hut and this cabin and cut into it.”
She set the laptop on the table. “It’s all really technical, and I don’t totally understand it. But suffice to say, there would be plenty of warning if someone tried to find us by tracing my IP address and trying to discover where I’m connecting to the internet from. And all it would lead them to is an even smaller, more run-down hut a quarter mile north of here.”
“So what’s going on?”
“Check it out.” The screen blinked on the laptop and a local Phoenix news reporter with wide eyes came on. Shell-shocked. “Our sources at the police department say the vehicle was a black van.”
A picture of the center came on screen. Mackenzie gasped and stepped back. That was her center. What was going on? The front windows of
the building were shattered. Police and rescue vehicles blocked the street.
Mackenzie’s heart jumped to her throat.
“Around nine-thirty last night gunmen opened fire on the Downtown Performing Arts Center, wounding several people, including minors. We’re getting word of multiple injuries and that one girl—a teenager—is in critical condition.” The news reporter cleared her throat. “We’ll keep you updated as further information is related to us.”
Mackenzie gasped. “No.”
“I’m sorry.” Sabine’s eyes were wet even though she didn’t know any of the kids.
Mackenzie took in a breath that shuddered through the band of emotion that had a lock on her chest. Just children. Her children. In harm’s way because of her.
“I’m so sorry, Mackenzie.”
“I have to go.”
“No—”
“I have to be there. Sabine, I can’t just sit here. My kids are in the hospital. They got shot at last night.”
“They’re getting help, Mackenzie.”
“That’s not good enough!”
* * *
Aaron stepped through the door. Mackenzie was freaked. “What’s going on?”
Sabine answered, “Someone shot up the center. There are wounded kids, and some of them in the hospital.”
He went straight to Mackenzie. She tried to flee, but he caught her and wrapped her in his arms. When her legs buckled, he swept her up and carried her out to the porch swing. Keeping her in his hold as he sat, Aaron rubbed her back while she cried.
So much weight she carried. There wasn’t much more she could take before she broke in a way he was worried she’d never come back from.
“I’m going to help you through this, Mackenzie. I’m not going anywhere.”
Aaron closed his eyes and kept rubbing Mackenzie’s back, though her crying had tapered off to little sobs. If he gave everything over to God, that meant giving God control of his relationships, too. Did God want Aaron to risk everything he had that way? Everyone else seemed to believe it was the right thing to do, but did that mean he had to adopt it, also?
Star Witness Page 14
