by Shelly Crane
“Need change?”
I got some change for you.
“Nope, thanks.”
“Hey, is Caleb here?”
“Uh...yeah. Hold on.”
I took the pizza, placing it on the table and did roll my eyes as I heard his next thought.
Even better from the back.
“Caleb. The delivery guy wants you,” I called.
“Huh?” he asked still not looking at me.
“He asked if you were here.”
He placed the game on pause and looked pensive.
“Oh. It’s probably Chris.” He went to the door and I didn’t follow but I stood where I was. I could hear their thoughts anyway. I didn’t need to be close.
“Hey, man. Long time no see,” Caleb said and they did some strange handshake, bumping fist and snapping thing. “So is Zeke home from school?”
“Yeah, he’s throwing a major rager at the pier tomorrow night. I wanted to see if you’d come.” He looked over at me and clucked his tongue in appreciation. “And bring all that goodness with you.”
“Hey,” Caleb barked, “that goodness is mine.”
“Sorry. Nice work, man. Kyle here too?”
“You know it,” Caleb replied begrudged.
“Cool, bring him. Eight o’clock.”
“Ok. We’ll see. Thanks, man.”
“See ya.”
Caleb shut the door and turned to see me watching.
“That’s Chris. He’s the little brother of a guy we used to hang out with when we came here in the summer.”
“Uhuh,” I gave him a raised eyebrow look and cocked my head in jest. “And...all this goodness is yours, huh?”
He laughed.
“You little eavesdropper.” He hugged me to him. “And yes. All mine.”
I just giggled and went on my tiptoes to kiss him...just as Bish came around the corner with Kyle on his heels.
“I thought we agreed to cut that out,” Bish muttered.
“I didn’t agree to anything,” I said as I handed him a plate and heard him grunt.
We took our plates to the den and they resumed their game, while eating. It was strange to watch them. They didn’t even look when they took a bite. It was just mindless automation.
I texted Beck as soon as I was done.
Hey. I’m still fine. I’m actually in California with Caleb. Long story but it was necessary for safety reasons. I’ll call you soon, Love.
Once Caleb was done eating he got me to sit in between his legs again and showed me how to work the controls. I received my answer from Beck.
Awesome! California?! Holy cow, Mags, you are gonna be so tan. Call me soon.
Kyle added me as a player and we started again. I was killed in like seventeen seconds. Kyle.
“Dude, take it easy on her,” Caleb scolded. “She’s never played before.”
“No prisoners,” Kyle mumbled as he shot someone, poking his control forward with each gunshot. “Oh yeah, take that New York City.”
I realized that was Bish’s name on the game.
“I’m tired anyway,” I said to Caleb. “Can I just sit here?”
“Yeah.” He looked down at me. “You want me to go to bed with you?”
“No, you play. If I fall asleep, you’ll be here with me. It’ll be ok.”
“Why don’t you just go lie down on the bed by yourself, Maggie?” Bish said and though his eyes were on the game, his voice was puzzled. “Or the couch in the other room? It’s not rocket science.”
“I’m fine here. Thanks.”
“Whatever. Caleb can’t be comfortable like that. And I never pegged you as the clingy girlfriend,” he said in a mocking tone.
I had no idea what to say. I always looked nuts-so, everything I did, to Bish. He thought I was naïve and immature and now clingy because of this echoling thing and Caleb not being able to leave my side. I just snuggled into Caleb’s chest and tried not to think about it.
“You’re fine like this,” he assured me.
Don’t worry about him. You are right where I want you to be.
Thanks. I’m sorry.
For what?
I am being clingy.
You have to be clingy right now. I’d rather you be clingy that not safe. Besides, I like you clingy. Your being clingy equals you in my lap. What guy wouldn’t want that?
I laughed softly and shook my head knowing he’d feel me doing it.
You’re so crazy. I love you.
I love you, baby. His lips skimmed my temple and kissed softly. Sleep.
I nodded and did just that.
~ Three ~
The next morning I woke in the couch bed with Caleb. He must have carried me to bed last night after he was done with their game. I had no idea when I fell asleep but he probably stayed up late. I decided to creep out and let him sleep in. I smiled and rolled over out of Caleb’s arms but Bish was there. Eating a bowl of cereal in the chair and watching me.
Look at them. All tangled up and sleeping together, my baby sister. I never thought she was the type to be like this.
“What are you doing in here?” I asked.
“I could ask you the same thing?” he said as he sat his bowl on the side table. “How is Dad ok with this? I don’t understand it. He told me to let the two of you sleep on the sofa bed together and not give you any flack about it. What kinda sense does that make? What kinda dad approves- no, not only approves but insists that- like it was a rule or something that his daughter sleeps with her boyfriend in the same bed. I don’t get it.” He eyed me curiously. “Are you sure you’re not pregnant? You can tell me, Maggie.”
“No, I am not pregnant. Dad must just see that Caleb and I are-”
Bologna!
“Oh don’t start all that ‘we’re gonna be together forever’ crap.” He stood and glowered at me. “Something is going on. Something’s not right here with this whole thing. I’m gonna figure it out, be sure about that. I’ll crack heads to do it if I have to.”
“Bish, times have changed.”
“So! The Maggie I knew didn’t sleep around!”
Ouch.
“The Maggie you knew wasn’t in love. And I’m not sleeping around. We just sleep.” He looked unconvinced. “Do I have to say it? I’m the big V, Bish.”
“Oh! Don’t!” He covered his ears. “Don’t say that word.”
Oh, no. What have I gotten myself into? I wanted to know but now? Not so sure I can sit here and talk about sex and virgins with my sister.
“What word, ‘virgin’?” I yelled. “I am. So stop bugging me about it all.”
“Is this because I’m not your real brother?” I gasped at his question. “You think I have no business or no right to-”
“I can’t believe you just said that!” I climbed out and stood in front of him as he towered over me. “You know I don’t think that,” I said softly. “You are my brother. My real brother, the only brother I’ll ever have.”
He nodded and that seemed to lighten him up some.
“I just wish you’d trust me to handle whatever it is you’re keeping from me.”
I changed the subject.
“We could have fun here, ya know, but instead you’re being mopey and morose.”
He smirked.
She’s so smart.
“Morose?”
“Yes, morose.”
“Well, I wouldn’t want to be morose now would I?” he joked.
“No. Please lighten up,” I pleaded.
“I’ll try. But, Maggie. It’d be so much easier if you just told me what was going on.”
“Nothing,” I said and tried for convincing.
He didn’t buy it but didn’t look quite as upset anymore.
“Ok. I’m going to put on my suit. That shiny pool is calling my name. Are you in?”
“Sure. I’ll be out in a minute,” I assured and sent him a small smile.
He nodded and made his way to the doors and up the stairs.
I sighed and sat back
on the bed. I knew something was going to have to change. Bish was not going to give up on this until he knew and I wasn’t sure how he’d handle it all despite his assurance he’d be ok with it.
I felt a hand on my back the instant before I heard his thoughts.
You’re right about that. We’ll have to be more careful from now on.
I turned to him and laid my head on his stomach like a pillow and looked at him.
“I don’t care if he thinks I’m a loser, I mean, it sucks but I can deal with that. I just don’t want him to find out the truth and go berserk.”
“I know.” He ran a hand through my short locks. “We’ll figure something out. So, Chris was telling me about a party tonight at the pier, I know you heard. You wanna go? It’ll take Bish’s mind off things.”
“What kind of party?”
“Beach party. We’ve known them since I was ten. We always came during the summer and used to surf together. He’s good people just really rich and a bit unconventional.”
“What does that mean?”
“He’s a self made rock star. His band started making videos on YouTube. Now they book gigs all over and aren’t even signed but they make a killing. His parents were already rich before that but now...”
“So what’s so unconventional about him?”
“Well...picture Russell Brand and Jonah Hill have a baby.”
I bust out laughing.
“You’re kidding?” I said through a giggle.
“Nope, sadly not. He’s a little hefty but he wears no shirts, ever. He always wears leather pants and has this crazy curly fro hair. It’s pretty hilarious but it’s all for his image, to be crazy, eccentric and to keep his music going.”
“Ok. So will they be playing at the pier?”
“No doubt.”
“We can go if you want.”
“Good. So, surfing? You ready?”
“Crap, I forgot. I just promised to go swimming with Bish.”
“It’s ok. I’m still kinda tired. Kyle and I stayed up until almost four.” I shook my head at him. “I know. We’ll surf tomorrow morning,” he promised.
“Ok. Hey, why can’t we cure sleep? I mean, you’d think we’d both reenergize each other and not ever be sleepy.”
“I wish. It’s the one thing we can’t cure. That and hunger.”
“Alright, well, I’ll let you get back to sleep then.”
“Thanks, baby. I won’t be too much longer. Then I’ll make lunch, ok? I make a mean spaghetti.”
“Ok.” I got up to leave but he grabbed my hand.
“Hey. Everything is gonna be ok, you know that right?” He waited for me to nod. “Good.” He kissed my hand and I smiled at him as I made my way out.
I put on my suit and made my way to the pool where Bish was doing laps. I jumped right in and started doing them with him. I was faster than I used to be, I could tell.
We did laps together as he told me about New York some more, though I already knew most of it from listening to his mind. Now, he planned to move back in with Dad, temporarily, and find a good job in the city and then find an apartment. He didn’t tell me but I knew he was lonely. He hadn’t made any friends in New York, not for lack of trying but literally no time to and also no want to. He didn’t want to be attached to a city he hated so much. He missed people back home and even though he’d never admit it to himself, he missed having a girl.
He missed something he’d never had.
Though he’d never had a girlfriend he wasn’t a virgin. He’d had sex once when he was thirteen on a dare with a girl he barely knew and never saw her again. He was constantly in trouble with the law as a kid because of running away or hanging out with the wrong people. His real parents were lowlifes. His dad was a jerk who beat his mom and his mom had been resentful because she was stuck with a kid and a husband that didn’t want one.
She beat him, kicked him, starved him and eventually abandoned him when he was seven. She packed his Dad and her things and left Bish there alone in their apartment. After some time a neighbor called the police and they took him to social services. They shoved him into one horrendous foster home after another. Every now and then he’d get a really good, nice place but they’d yank him out and move him before he could really have any peace.
I tried not to just sit in his brain all day but sometimes it couldn’t be helped. Some people’s thoughts were more loud and forceful than others I’ve realized.
It was painful to see his memories, to see what he went though before he met us.
His memories of meeting my parents were priceless. They had gone through all the stuff they were supposed to, the classes and home evaluations and decided instead of adopting a child, they’d adopt an older kid because their seemed to be a lot of them and no one else wanted them.
His memory of them was almost angelic, they were glowing and smiling too widely. My mom’s hands were too soft when she touched his shoulder. My dad’s grip was too friendly when he shook his hand. Once again, Bish memories were skewed and altered to fit, like a child’s dream or something.
When he met me, he saw a small, helpless, adorable little girl who desperately needed protecting. Like every other good person in his life before me.
I had always known he was protective of me, he was always walking me to school and taking me to the beach but never letting me go out too far. He was a wonderful big brother and now I was letting him down. I felt wretched about that but didn’t see a way to change it.
Kyle came out to join us and I was relieved to be free of Bish’s thoughts. Until Kyle swam to me, too close.
“Hey, Maggie, you look a little peeved. What’s up?”
“Nothing, just...listening,” I said low where only he could hear me and he nodded.
“Aha. Well, stop it if it’s upsetting you. Let’s do something fun. Wanna get in the hot tub with me?” he asked and grinned, raising his eyebrows.
“Not really, Kyle. I’m kinda tired already. We’ve been doing laps all morning.
“Well, the hot tub will do you good then.” He moved to stand almost behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. “It’ll work out the tension and kinks.”
I shrugged his hands off.
“Kyle, don’t.”
“What? I’m just trying to help.”
“I know what you’re doing,” I rebutted and started to swim away. He grabbed my hand to stop me.
“Why are you always running away from me?”
“You’re always acting inappropriate.”
“You never even gave me a chance,” he said hotly and pulled me closer. “If only you had stopped being so stubborn before you met Caleb and went out with me, we’d be together now. Not you and him.” He wrapped his arm around my bare waist, his face on my ear. I tried to keep calm so Caleb wouldn’t come running and beat the stew out of Kyle, which is exactly what would happen if he saw him right then. “It should have been me. If only you had touched me first.”
I pushed at him but he held tight. Bish looked at me funny and started to come our way but I held up a hand to him.
I saw visions, Kyle’s memories, of him watching me at lunch as I laughed at something someone said. One of when I was dressed as a fairy for some school function. The one time he got to do the spirit cheer with me when Chad was sick.
So many times when Kyle was watching and I didn’t know it. So many times he wanted to touch me or call me and was never allowed. I felt bad but what could I do?
“It doesn’t matter anymore does it? It’s too late. There’s no point in you acting like this, it doesn’t help anything. It just makes us both feel bad.” His face dropped as he leaned back, his expression as forlorn as ever so I softened my tone. “Kyle, please. I want to be your friend but you can’t do this. I’m sorry. I wish I could help but I can’t and Caleb isn’t going to like this. Let go.”
“If I could just make you see. Just once, kiss you for real and you’d see how much I want you. We’d be good together and you k
now me. You’ve known me forever, Maggie,” he sighed and touched my cheek.
“Just because we’ve known each other doesn’t mean we belong together,” I told him and turned away from his touch.
“You don’t have any idea,” he said sadly. “All you can think about is Caleb and it makes me sick watching you two all day.”
“In all fairness, I left. We came to California. You’re the one who came here. Stop this, please. Let go.”
He did, almost pushing me away and sighed harshly, letting his head fall back.
I heard Caleb then in the kitchen so I got out and trained my mind so I wouldn’t think about what Kyle was trying to do. Caleb would see it eventually but I wasn’t in the mood to deal with it today.
We ate lunch, as I talked about the beach and avoided Kyle’s gaze, and Caleb was right, his spaghetti was pretty good. Then they played video games and I read a book from the library until later on. In the evening, we got ready to go to the pier party.
I put on a long sun dress I’d brought. It was blue and white and had little ruffles on the front with halter straps. I slipped on my flops and earrings. I fixed my hair just like the lady had the day before. It was still cute and I still really liked it.
When I came down and saw Caleb in his khaki cargo shorts, flops and green Carolina Liar shirt, I sighed in contentment. He was pretty adorable.
He turned to me smirking, reading me, and beckoned me to come. All four of us, walked down the beach to the pier. It wasn’t that far and I could see the party already raging and hear the thump of the music.
You look great.
I looked at him and could see his face barely in the moonlight.
Thanks. So do you. The band t-shirts are really growing on me.
Well, we’ll have to start going to concerts. I haven’t been to one in a couple weeks. That’s like a record or something.
Yeah, we should.
You know, Mutemath is playing here this coming up weekend. I wish Mom was here. She loves them.
Your mom? Your mom loves Mutemath?
Yes, loves them.
That’s so weird. I like them too.
Well, we should go.
Ok, sounds good.
We walked up with Kyle and Bish behind us to a wild party. There were already tons of beer bottles littering the beach and it just got started. Kyle took off the second we got there.
