by K. C. Wells
Luc expelled a breath. “You certainly learned your Bible.”
“It came with the territory, I guess.”
That only left Luc more confused. “Then what teachings are we talking about? Because you really troubled me when you said they’d call you an abomination.” A word that had only one connotation in Luc’s mind. He wasn’t about to jump to conclusions, but…
Kel’s breathing hitched, and he stared at Luc, his pallor increasing.
“Kel?”
He drew in a deep breath. “Leviticus 18, verse 22. Leviticus 20, verse 13.”
Holy fuck. A heavy feeling settled in Luc’s stomach and his heartbeat raced. “‘Men shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.’”
Kel merely nodded, his eyes impossibly huge.
“You’re gay?” It had been Luc’s first thought after hearing Kel’s outburst.
Another nod, as though he didn’t trust himself to speak.
“How long have you known?”
Kel gave the smallest shrug. “Since I was nineteen, I guess.”
“And they didn’t know?”
This got a shake of his head.
“But… if you’re a virgin, then you didn’t go against their teachings. I don’t understand.”
“I may not have done anything, but I’ve thought about it. I’ve committed the sin in my head a thousand times over. And just knowing I’m gay, and knowing how they’d have reacted if they’d found out….” Kel gazed at him with anguished eyes. “Every time I came home, it was like I was walking on eggshells, just waiting for something to give me away. I watched what I did, what I said. I swear, it was such a relief to go back to school. Only, that wasn’t much easier. I was at a Christian college, and the same teachings were there too, all around us. That was why I had to choose my own grad school. I needed some space to breathe.”
Luc was speechless. He could only imagine the life Kel had led. He took a moment to consider his next words, and gazed at his surroundings. There were framed cross-stitched Bible verses on the walls, a plain wooden cross standing over the fireplace, and paintings depicting scenes from the Bible.
What he saw only vindicated his earlier idea.
Luc breathed deeply. “You can’t stay here.”
“I what?” Kel frowned. “But—”
“I know it’s your home, but right now you need to be someplace where you’re not reminded of them every other second. You need space and time to heal. And you can’t do that in a house where you’re forever being reminded of your… transgressions.” He locked gazes with Kel. “Come and stay with me. I have plenty of space—well, you know I do, because the houses are identical—and you wouldn’t be a burden. Most of the time I’d hardly know you were there. So what do you say?”
Kel stared at him for so long that Luc was ready to rescind the offer. Then tears glistened in his eyes. “Thank you.” The words came out as a whisper.
Luc blinked.
Kel shivered. “It’s been awful, feeling like they’re still here, and knowing they’ve gone. And everywhere I look, there’s something to remind me of them. I… I’ve hated feeling this way, because this is my home, right? But….” Tears trickled down his cheek. “Yes.”
That did it. “Go upstairs and pack what you need. I know you’ve got a lot of clothes back at school, but we’ll get around that. Take whatever you want. Okay?”
Kel wiped his eyes. “Okay.” He got up from the table, but instead of leaving the room, he leaned over and kissed Luc’s cheek. “Thank you.” Then he hurried out of the dining room, heading for the stairs.
Luc listened to the thump thump thump of Kel’s socked feet, his heart matching their beat.
What have I just done?
Chapter Eight
This has to be the weirdest situation ever. Staying in the house next door?
Kel had to admit, Luc was right. A change of scenery for a short while was exactly what he needed. Some breathing space. And looking around Luc’s home, he realized something else. The two houses might be identical from the outside, but there the similarity ended.
“You’ve done a lot in here,” he remarked as they stood in the hallway. Except… it wasn’t a hallway, but the entrance to an open plan space that was stunning. From the front door, he could see all the way to the rear of the house, where french doors opened out onto Luc’s patio. The rooms kind of morphed into one another, with a fluidity that was elegant and stylish.
“Yeah, it’s a work in progress.” When Kel regarded him in surprise, Luc snickered. “I’m always changing something. The latest was a new bed. And speaking of beds, I’ll show you to your room.”
Kel followed him to the stairs. “It’s a big house for one person.”
“And I use every room,” Luc said as they went upstairs. “It may have four bedrooms, but only two of them are used as such.” They reached the second floor and he paused. “Here on the left is my office.”
Kel peered around the door. It was an airy room, with an unusual arrangement of furniture. Along one wall was an enormous desk with five screens, five laptops, and a couple of hard drives. A high-backed swivel chair sat in the space between it and another desk, which was devoid of clutter. A single tray occupied one corner, with a sheaf of paper in it, and beneath the window was a sturdy, comfortable-looking armchair and a small table.
Kel smiled. “I like your setup. You can alternate between desks.”
“Exactly. I don’t have to move. Made more sense setting it up this way.” He pointed to another wall, where a coffee machine sat, along with a small refrigerator with a glass door, filled with bottles of water. “And if I’m really busy, I don’t have to go far to find refreshment.”
Facing the desks was a large mirror, and below it was a bookcase.
Luc closed the door and pointed to the next. “And this is probably where I spend most time, after the office.” He stood to one side and let Kel step inside.
Kel expelled a long breath. “You’ve got a gym.” A multipurpose weights machine stood in one corner, with pull-down bars, pulleys and presses. Next to that was an exercise bike, a treadmill and a cross trainer. Along one wall was a rowing machine, and under the window was a set of weights. He turned to gaze admiringly at Luc. “You don’t do things halfway, do you? This is fantastic.” He grinned. “Do I get to use it?”
Luc gave him a keen stare. “Something tells me you’re no stranger to gym equipment.”
Kel laughed. “I got into working out during the last year. I try not to overdo it. Honestly, there were some guys who looked like the Hulk. I didn’t wanna go that far, but I wanted some definition in my arms and abs.”
“Well, you certainly got that.” When Kel arched his eyebrows, Luc shrugged. “I looked.”
The fact that Luc had noticed sent a warm, pleasurable feeling trickling through him. “So is that a yes?”
“As long as you continue not to overdo it, yes.” Luc smiled. “Who knows? We might work out together.”
And that sent an altogether different feeling pulsing through Kel.
He noticed a couple of full-length mirrors on the walls and smirked. “You have a thing for mirrors, don’t you?”
Luc snorted. “What gym doesn’t have mirrors?” He withdrew from the room, and Kel followed. There were three doors to the right, and Luc pointed to the middle one. “That’ll be your bathroom. I have my own.”
Kel took a peek. It was done all in white, with a toilet, sink, tub and shower cubicle. “Nice.”
“And this room to the left is yours.”
Kel went inside and looked around. It was a more traditional layout than the rest of Luc’s house. A bed covered with a dark green quilted comforter stood against one wall, and around the room were various items of furniture, all in the same dark wood. “This is cool.”
Luc pointed to the closet. “There should be plenty of room for your clothes in there. And we do need to discuss that, once you’ve settled in.”
Kel knew he was right. He just didn’t want to think about it right at that moment. “Speaking of settling in, can I unpack my stuff?”
“That’s a good idea. Then we can talk about ground rules. And before you roll your eyes, yes, we do need them, and no, there aren’t many. Okay?” Luc’s eyes twinkled. “Let’s start off on the right foot, and then everything will go smoothly. Agreed?”
“Agreed.” Kel wanted this to work too. Not that he envisioned staying all that long at Luc’s, but right then he had no idea of a time frame.
“I’ll leave you alone. When you’re done, I’ll be in the kitchen, thinking about what we’re having for dinner tonight.” Luc smiled. “Your input would be welcome.” He left the room, closing the door behind him.
Kel gazed at his surroundings. The window had blinds, with a floral window valance across the top. The color scheme reminded him of fall, and he liked the chair by the window, with its wooden frame and deep cushions. There was only one thing left to check.
He sat on the bed and gave an experimental bounce.
Thank God. A comfortable bed. It was official—Kel was content.
Then it hit him, with all the suddenness of a summer storm. They’re dead.
For one moment, he’d forgotten.
Kel rolled onto his belly and buried his face in the pillow, his tears soaking into the soft fabric.
Luc made himself a cup of tea and walked through the house to the french doors. He opened them and stepped outside onto the patio. Once there, he sank into one of the armchairs and took a deep breath.
Why didn’t you say something?
Except there wasn’t a simple answer to that question. He was sure of one thing, however. Telling Kel he was gay was just wrong.
He’s in a bad place right now. His emotions are all over the place. Luc sharing that particular bit of information would not be helpful. He’s acknowledged he’s gay. That doesn’t necessarily mean he’s okay with being gay.
Then there was Kel’s faith. He might not have wanted to work with his dad in the ministry, but that didn’t mean he didn’t believe. And how deep that faith went, Luc had no idea.
The most compelling reason for keeping silent was obvious. How would it look if he’d told Kel he was gay, then invited him to stay? Can we say ‘ulterior motives’? Luc didn’t want Kel to see his offer of help as anything other than that. His prime motivation had been to give the boy some breathing space, away from that house with all its memories.
As for the ground rules, Luc hadn’t really given them much thought. He intended his home to be a safe space for Kel, but that would also mean giving him space when he needed it. Sharing his routine would be a start.
He sipped his tea and gazed out over his yard. This was a first. In all the years he’d lived there, he’d done so alone, and he wasn’t sure he was prepared for the upheaval his invitation might bring.
Let’s just play this by ear, okay?
There were practicalities to consider, such as food. Luc had no idea what Kel’s diet was like, other than knowing he liked pizza and takeout, given the numerous boxes he’d seen. He smiled to himself. Luc liked an occasional burger with all the trimmings, but his usual diet was definitely more health conscious. The real acid test of finding out if they were going to get through this without battles, would be their first shopping trip for groceries. Luc had no intention of changing his way of life, but he was prepared to make a few compromises, especially during this delicate time.
Anything to keep Kel happy.
He stiffened as he caught the sound of a muted sob, coming from the open window above his head. His initial instinct was to go up there, to comfort the boy, but he reined in his impulse. Give him space. He has to grieve. At least he was grieving. That had been a huge breakthrough. And Luc knew all too well what it was like to lose someone, to have those moments when grief seemed to sneak up on you and pounce, as if to remind you there were still tears to shed, memories to recall, and actions to regret.
Let him grieve.
The best that Luc could do, would be to be there when Kel sought comfort. The recollection of that hug was fierce: Kel’s face pressed against his chest; the tremors that coursed through him; the hot tears; and the sobbing that had torn at Luc’s heart. But it showed him one vital thing—Kel wasn’t averse to being held and hugged.
Good to know.
When he walked into the kitchen, there was no sign of any distress. Kel had brushed his hair, and his eyes weren’t red. “What’s for dinner?”
Luc gestured to the seat facing him at the table. “We’ve plenty of time. I’ve been doing some thinking, and there are a couple of things we need to discuss, one of them pretty urgently.”
Kel sat down, his expression watchful. “Oh?”
Luc placed his hands on the table and laced his fingers. “School, for one. Do they know what has happened?”
Kel became so still. He swallowed hard before responding. “I emailed them the week leading up to the funeral. Just to inform them why I was absent.”
“And nothing since? Have they contacted you, or you them?”
Kel shook his head.
It was as Luc had imagined. “Okay. Then we need to consider your next step. You have roughly two months left of study, correct?” Another nod. “Then I suggest you contact them, and request a deferral.”
“You don’t think I should go back and finish the semester?” Kel’s breathing hitched.
“No. I don’t think you’re in the right head space for study right now. Maybe you should go back when you’re ready.”
A long breath shuddered out of Kel, and he bowed his head. “I thought you were going to tell me to—”
Luc held up a hand. “Whoa there. I’m not going to ‘tell’ you to do anything. I’ll make suggestions, sure, but it’s ultimately your decision. You are the one in charge of your life, not me.” His expression was kind. “I’m just here to help you steer for a while, that’s all.”
Kel straightened. “Thank you. And I agree. Deferral is the best way to go.” He tilted his head to one side. “You said, a couple of things.”
“So I did. As we’re agreed on point one, then point two is a given. You should go back to Charlotte and collect your things.”
To his relief, Kel nodded. “I was thinking about that when I was unpacking. Okay, so I have some clothes next door, because I didn’t take all of them with me, but what’s in my room accounts for a lot.” He bit his lip. “But… I was going to ask you a favor.”
Luc chuckled. “I wonder if it’s the same favor I was going to ask you.” When Kel frowned, Luc gave a shrug. “I just wondered if you wanted some company. I know it’s only a couple of hours from here, but… I was going to ask if I could come with you.”
Kel heaved a sigh. “You seem to be very good at this.”
“At what?”
“Reading my mind. This is not the first time I’ve thought that.”
Luc huffed. “What can I say? It’s a gift.”
A few seconds later, Kel was chuckling, and Luc delighted in the sound. Kel gazed at him expectantly. “Is that everything you wanted to discuss?”
“For now. We can talk about ground rules after we eat. And tomorrow… we need to shop. My refrigerator can’t cope with feeding me and a twenty-four-year-old with the appetite of an elephant.”
Kel snorted. “I think I’ve just been insulted. Why choose an elephant?”
“Oh, something I saw on a BBC nature show once. I think it said adult males eat around 1% of their bodyweight in dry mass every day, which equates to about one hundred thirty-two pounds of food.” Luc grinned. “That’s an awful lot of muffins.”
Kel’s eyes gleamed. “I think we’re gonna need a bigger car in that case.”
Inwardly, Luc heaved his own sigh of relief. Maybe this will work after all.
Chapter Nine
Kel wiped his lips on his napkin. “Can we talk ground rules now?” Luc might have said there weren’t many, and Kel w
as certainly no stranger to rules, but he couldn’t help feeling a little nervous, for reasons he couldn’t fathom.
Luc put down his water glass. “Okay. While you’re here, I want you to consider this your home. Your room is just that—yours. I won’t come barging in.”
Kel frowned. “But it’s your house.”
“Yes, and that is your space. Just like my room is my space.” Luc’s eyes sparkled. “I don’t expect you to come barging in there either.”
Kel coughed violently, mainly to cover the noise that threatened to slip from his mouth when the image of Luc in bed came to mind.
Luc pushed Kel’s water glass closer to him. “I think you need this.”
He took a gulp, desperately trying not to think of what Luc looked like under that shirt and jeans. And where did that come from? “Go on with the rules,” he croaked.
Luc chuckled before continuing. “If I’m working, then don’t disturb me, unless the house is burning down or something equally urgent.”
“Got it.” Kel smirked.
“I’ll give you a key, and you’re free to come and go as you please, but…” Luc narrowed his gaze. “Let me know if you’re going to be home late. And that does not mean I want to be kept informed of your movements, okay? Just show me a little courtesy. If you’re out, it’s getting late, and I haven’t heard from you, I will worry. Got that?”
“Got it.” Kel liked that Luc was a worrier. It spoke of a caring nature, not that he didn’t already know Luc possessed one.
“Okay, let’s talk alcohol.”
Kel had known this was going to turn up. Hardly surprising, when Luc had found him in such a state. “Let me guess. No alcohol.”
Luc raised his eyebrows. “I was going to say I have nothing against you drinking beer, or maybe wine with a meal. But no drinking to excess.” He smiled. “You’re not a kid. That means you need to learn to handle your liquor. And after your latest escapade—sorry, incident—I shouldn’t think you’d be that keen on repeating the experience.”
