Franklin had watched every expression and gesture the man made. He couldn’t detect any indication the man was lying. Dave had kept eye contact through the whole recitation. No reason not to trust him.
“I’ll introduce you to my wife, and we’ll need to get that into the bank as soon as possible.”
The story almost knocked him off kilter...and the money for Lorinda. Although most men would take control of their wives’ money when they married, he had no plans to. It belonged to Lorinda and Michael, fair and square.
This brought him face to face with what a disservice he had done to her. She had a real need, and he’d talked her into this marriage of convenience. What would she do now that she didn’t need his money...or protection?
If he didn’t give her the option to stay with him or go, his treatment of her bordered on abuse of power. He used his money and power to talk her into marrying him for protection and a way to give her son a good life. He felt like less of a man because of it. And he was beginning to believe God wasn’t pleased with him as well.
Last night when he was reading his Bible, he found verses in the seventh chapter of First Corinthians that made him uncomfortable. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
These words cut straight through him like a sword of truth. He had been defrauding his wife even while in his thoughts he lusted after her, but still he withheld his love. Their marriage could not be what it should be unless he gave her the opportunity to decide for herself whether she wanted to leave him and get the marriage annulled or come together as a husband and wife should with love.
Dear Lord, what am I to do? I can’t find the words I need to make this right. Please help me be able to express this to Lorinda without hurting her, but also allowing her the freedom to choose to stay or to go. Every one of those words hurt as if it was a thrust of a blade into his heart.
Could his life be more complicated? He didn’t see how.
Chapter 34
While Franklin and his cowhands drove the last of the cattle down from the high pastures to the paddocks close to the barn, frustration tied his guts into knots. He couldn’t line up his feelings with the scripture he’d been meditating on. He was breaking the implied command in that scripture as surely as if he would break the law if he took his gun and robbed a bank. He couldn’t see any way there could be a good outcome from this.
Yesterday, after Dave Jefferson left without the saddlebags full of money, Franklin took Lorinda into Breckenridge to meet with the banker. Of the five bankers in Breckenridge, Franklin trusted William Henry the most. He was the epitome of discretion. No one else in town would know about the fortune they deposited in Lorinda’s private account.
Afterward, he took his wife to the Occidental House hotel for dinner. Mrs. Almeda Peabody owned and managed this most prestigious eating establishment in town. All through the meal, he and Lorinda kept a pleasant conversation going. At the time, he was trying to work out in his head how to bring up the subject of him giving her a choice about whether to stay married or have the marriage annulled.
How could he risk it? If she chose to leave him, some part of his heart would die. She could meet a man who would love her and have a normal marriage. A deep ache invaded his whole body just thinking about her going.
Franklin didn’t have a problem with her past, even though from the few things she had told him some of it had to be bad. Nothing she had ever done could change his love for her. But even considering her marrying another man brought up pain that was much stronger than when Marvin convinced Miriam to leave him. He couldn’t allow pictures of what she would look like in another man’s arms to sneak into his mind. When they did, white-hot anger coursed through him. He would want to knock the man out and carry her off like some caveman. He could even feel the sensations he would experience with her sitting in front of him on Major’s back. After all, the memories of the time she did were alive and well.
And he would spend the rest of his life in love with another man’s wife. That couldn’t be any better than continuing the relationship as it was. He hadn’t found any way they both would be in a better situation if she left him. But if he gave her the choice, she might leave.
If he didn’t make that offer, the reality was that he was keeping her in bondage as surely as if he locked her in a jail cell. Franklin tried to pray, but somehow, it felt as if the Lord had moved a long ways from him. No peace. No soft-spoken word in his heart. He was utterly alone in this dilemma...except for Lorinda. And they had made a binding agreement for a marriage without intimacy. But now he longed for that intimacy...and abiding love.
While he and the men stocked feeding stations around the pasture, Franklin’s mind often wandered. His foreman had to ask questions more than once before they penetrated Franklin’s thoughts. Thomas must think Franklin had lost all his marbles.
The freezing cold didn’t help. Franklin no longer could feel his fingertips and toes. He and his men needed to get to shelter and warmth before they suffered frostbite or worse. Finally, they finished and headed toward the ranch house and bunkhouse.
Somehow, he had to come up with the right words to make her understand why he was giving her the choice. If she decided to leave, he’d give her as a going away gift the gold and sapphire eardrops he bought her. Maybe they would help her understand that he had no hard feelings against her. He loved Michael and wanted to see him occasionally. Losing him as well as Lorinda might make Franklin go completely crazy.
Lorinda didn’t feel comfortable with what happened yesterday. Mr. Jefferson brought the money for the gold he’d cheated Mike out of. Maybe, if he hadn’t cheated her first husband, they would be snug in their cabin up on the mountain. But did she want that? Not really. Meeting Franklin was the best thing that ever happened to her, even though they were living in this sham marriage.
He’d surprised her when he wouldn’t take any of the money. She thought husbands and wives shared their possessions, and he had told her they shared ownership in the ranch. She knew some men claimed everything their wives owned. Now she had an absolute fortune he didn’t want any part of. Why not?
Of course, Franklin was a successful rancher, and maybe he didn’t need her money. But now there were two sons to think about. He had tried to convince her that putting the money in her private account would help Michael later. But if Franklin wanted her son to be his heir, why would he need extra money? Wouldn’t his inheritance be enough for him and his family? Even divided between the two boys, his ranch and everything else Franklin owned would be enough to sustain two families.
So what were his underlying reasons? A gnawing feeling in her belly told her something was very wrong. A sense of impending doom hovered over her like a dark cloud.
Franklin and his ranch hands had been out in the cold far too long. She hoped nothing bad had happened to them. She looked out the front windows at the clouds that were heavy laden...with snow, if the evidence from last winter held true this year. Please, Lord, bring them back safely.
With both of the babies napping, Lorinda paced a loop from the front of the house to the back while Mrs. Oleson prepared a hearty hot stew.
“Lorinda?” Mrs. Oleson called to her when she neared the doorway to the kitchen. “Are you all right?”
The enticing fragrance of cornbread met Lorinda as she stuck her head through the doorway. “I’m fine. Just waiting for Franklin to come to the house.”
The delicious aromas caused her stomach to growl in a most unladylike manner. She patted her stomach.
“Would you like to go ahead and eat now?”
“No, I’ll wait for him. I’m praying he’ll get home soon.”
After two more rounds from the front of the house to the back, Lorinda hea
rd footsteps on the front porch. He’s home. She rushed toward the door, arriving just as it opened.
Her husband stopped on the throw rug inside the front door and stomped his feet before pulling off his boots and setting them beside the hall tree. She still hadn’t gotten used to seeing him without his boots. Somehow, seeing a man’s feet, even if they were encased in thick woolen socks, had an intimate feeling to her. Although if there was one thing they weren’t, it was intimate.
She went around him and quickly closed the door, shutting out the icy wind. “Are you okay?” She tried to keep the tremble out of her voice. “I was afraid you might get too cold. That’s dangerous.” Of course, he already knew that.
Franklin’s coffee-colored eyes turned toward her. For a moment, she noticed something intense and troubled deep within. Had anything bad happened while he was gone? One of the men or maybe some of the cattle dying...or something like that. Then the look vanished like snow melting under a warm spring sun.
“Something smells delicious.” He hung his heavy coat up beside his Stetson. “And I’m starved. Let’s go eat.” He glanced around as if trying to find or hear something. “Are both boys sleeping?”
Lorinda smiled. “For once, they are.”
After a leisurely meal with Mrs. Oleson, Lorinda got up to wash the dishes.
As she started stacking the empty plates, Mrs. Oleson intervened. “I’ll get these. You and Franklin go enjoy the fire in the parlor.”
Before they reached the front room, two distinct cries started in the bedroom the boys shared. One, the mewling of a very young infant, and the other much lustier, from Michael.
“Looks like we’ll have our hands full instead of a quiet visit.” Nothing in Franklin’s tone hinted that he was disappointed. “I’ll clean up Michael while you take care of Andrew.”
When her husband picked up her son, Michael stopped crying and started patting Franklin’s cheeks. “Da, da, da.”
Those sounds always brought a big smile to her husband’s face. “Daddy’s here, Michael.”
Lorinda took clean clothes out of the chest of drawers for each boy and laid them on the top. Then she wet two washcloths in the water from the pitcher and bowl on the washstand and handed one to Franklin. She picked up Andrew and started changing him from his wet gown and diaper and washed him before putting on a clean diaper and gown, then swaddled him with a warm flannel blanket.
Franklin finished cleaning up Michael. “Should I take him to the kitchen and feed him?”
She smiled at her husband. “I’m sure he’d love some of those potatoes and carrots from the leftover stew. I’ll go ahead and feed this little one while you’re doing that.”
By the time she finished, Franklin and Michael were already in the parlor.
Her husband glanced up at her from the floor where he was playing with the baby when she entered the room. “Mrs. Oleson said to tell you goodnight.”
Lorinda sat in the wingback chair closest to the fireplace. “I’m so thankful we have her. She’s so much help now that we have two babies.”
“And she enjoys them so much.” Franklin picked up Michael and moved to the oval rag rug in front of the fire. “Every child needs at least one grandparent, and she makes a good one.”
Lorinda smiled at her husband while she held Andrew on her shoulder patting his back. She usually had a much harder time getting him to burp than she had when Michael was so tiny.
“Let’s trade.” Franklin set Michael on her lap and gently slid the other baby from her arms.
She grabbed for Michael before he could slide off. He was always so busy, wiggling and kicking and exploring everything around him. She stood him on her legs, and he started trying to jump.
Lorinda liked watching Franklin with each of the babies. He was a tall, muscular man who really had a way with them. Just then, Andrew emitted a substantial burp.
“Is he spitting anything on you?” She started to get up.
“Stay there. I’ll grab another diaper in case he’s not finished. So far, he’s not gotten anything on my shirt, but if it was, I’d call it my badge of honor because I’m a dad.”
Everything was normal tonight. A happy family enjoying each other’s company. Why had she been worried before? Even this long after coming to this wonderful home, the horrible things that went on when she was with her father and uncle still affected her. She had to quit letting herself think something awful was coming in her future. Stop questioning in her mind everything Franklin did for her. He couldn’t have any hidden, negative agenda.
Nothing bad is going to happen.
Chapter 35
The next morning, dawn revealed a layer of white covering everything, and still the clouds hovered around the mountain peaks, pregnant with more snow. Franklin was thankful he and the hands had finished getting the remaining cattle ready for the winter. For the time being, the flakes had stopped falling. The stark whiteness covered every blemish in the landscape, reminding him of the scripture that says that the blood of Jesus can cover our sins and make them white as snow. With that thought, he realized he couldn’t put off his talk with Lorinda any longer. As long as he continued to selfishly hold her in bondage to this marriage, his sins weren’t covered. They were red like scarlet, and he felt every one deep in his heart and soul.
He needed a private time with his wife, but the regular events kept this from happening until early-afternoon when Mrs. Oleson went upstairs to rest and both babies were napping. He faced the confrontation with dread, knowing the meeting might not be pleasant...especially for him, if she chose to go.
The fire in the parlor made the room cozy, in spite of the cold winds whistling around the sides of the house. He waited near the doorway, watching for Lorinda to exit the bedroom the boys shared. When she came out and quietly closed the door, his heart leapt into his throat. A few blonde curls had escaped the bun that rested low on the back of her head. They hung along her face and neck, outlining her with a bright halo. As his gaze followed the path of the curls, the desire to drop kisses along its length almost took his breath away. Her beauty overwhelmed him, because he knew she was lovely both inside and out. A woman any man would be glad to share his life with. Have her as the mother of his children. What a fool he’d been to make decisions based solely on his own selfish needs...or what he’d thought he needed. How wrong he had been. What he really wanted was to be that man and spend the rest of his life loving her.
Oh, Lord, please help me get through this. And if it’s possible, let me keep my wife...for real, this time.
“Lorinda.” He kept his tone soft so he wouldn’t startle her or awaken the boys.
She glanced at him, a bright smile spreading across her face. “Yes, Franklin?” His name spoken softly like that felt like a caress.
That smile made him desire her even more...in every way. “I’d like to talk to you, if you have time.” No, I wouldn’t...not about this, but I have to. The words soured on his stomach.
“Of course.” She entered the parlor like a queen in her own castle. That’s what this house should be...her castle. She belonged here just as much as he did.
The twinkle in her eyes told him she had no inkling of what was coming. He knew what he had to say would remove that spark. What else would it do to this dear woman? Lord, give me the right words. That whispered prayer didn’t bring him any comfort. He felt as if it bounced off the ceiling and got no closer to heaven.
She glided like an angel floating on a cloud and settled into one of the wingback chairs close to the warm fire. He dropped into the matching chair across from her. Now how should I start? He didn’t hear any words from heaven to help him. He was on his own, and he’d already made such a mess of things.
After an elongated period of silence, Lorinda leaned toward him. “What did you want to talk about, Franklin?”
With a loud harrumph, he cleared a boulder from his tight throat. “Just some things I need to say to you.” How awkward.
She nodde
d, and her smile wobbled a little.
He leaned his forearms on his thighs and clasped his hands between his knees. That didn’t help. He just needed to start somewhere and get it over with.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about us and our marriage.” He glanced up at her face and caught a confused expression. This wasn’t going to be easy. He didn’t want to watch his words hurt her, and they might.
“What about our marriage?” Her voice had a tremble in it.
“I’ve come to believe I took advantage of you when I shouldn’t have.”
She scrunched her forehead. “How?” The word was barely above a whisper, but he heard it loud and clear.
“You were vulnerable...and you needed help...help I could give.”
Her nod was slow. “So?”
“I was selfish. I took what I wanted without considering what you might want...or really need.” His tongue tasted the bitterness of the words.
“You’re talking in riddles. What are you trying to say, Franklin?” She clasped her hands so tight her knuckles blanched as white as the snow outside the window.
“I’ve been defrauding you with our sham marriage. I wanted just what I wanted and nothing more.”
A frown puckered her lips. Lips he’d like to kiss again the way he did at the wedding. The thought that he might never again taste their sweetness almost unmanned him.
She sat up straighter in the chair, her back stiff as a board. “That’s the agreement we made with each other.” She bit out the words like bullets from a gun.
This isn’t going well. And why should it? He gritted his teeth and tried again. “You really don’t need my financial help now that you have the money from the gold mine you and Mike owned.”
A Heart's Gift Page 26
