by Jay Aspen
Parry looked away, across the valley to the distant wooded hills.
I had a feeling this wouldn’t be easy. Why is everything always so complicated?
‘Raine, I can’t answer that yet. Meanwhile, my orders are to hunt you down. Kill you if necessary. And I do not want to. So I’m asking you again. Turn yourself in.’
Raine shook his head. ‘Not without a better future for my people than is in your power to give. I respect what you’re trying to achieve. Maybe we’ve different visions of how far it has to go.’
Parry held out the unregistered handset. ‘You’d better take this back.’
‘Keep it. The situation may change for either of us.’
Parry sighed and put it back in his pocket. ‘This is the last time we’ll meet as friends. It’s been a privilege to work with you. I wish it could have had a different outcome.’
They shook hands. Parry knew Raine’s eyes were on his back as he walked across to the jeep.
28
When Jac woke to the damp mist of the following morning she felt as if she was waking from a dream that was not her own. Meadow flowers were swaying in the wind, warm and luminous in afternoon sun, surrounding Greg as he lay asleep. Gently, she reached out to wake him, and then his blood was everywhere, staining the petals and the ground and the knife in her hand––
Bel stirred nearby as she woke up, tense and sweating in the grey light. Jac reached out and grabbed her shoulder.
‘Bel, shh. It was a dream. I think I saw what it was.’
Bel’s hands were shaking, her haunted look accented by the shadows under her eyes. ‘The dream’s always the same, whatever choices I try to make. All I know is that I should have done things differently.’
Jac kept her hand on Bel’s arm, hoping to calm her. ‘It sounds superficial to say this after what you went through, but with half the military after us you have to focus on the present. I wish I could help but I don’t have enough experience yet.’
Bel’s gaze shifted to the outline of Fin’s sinewy frame ghosting grey in the cold light, sitting quietly at the edge of the trees above the road.
‘Oh chaos. Not again. She didn’t wake me for my turn on watch.’ She stood up, throwing her damp blanket over a branch as Fin walked back to them. ‘Fin, please don’t do it again. I’m strong enough to take my turn.’
‘You sure?’
Bel’s shoulders slumped in defeat. ‘I’m not sure of anything right now. I know that’s why you’re covering for me. But there’s nothing physically wrong. No excuse.’
‘You shouldn’t have been in that situation so soon after second level training. But it’s happened and you’re just going to have to get through it somehow. Kit needs you. He handed over command last night and now he’s finally let go, he’s so exhausted he can hardly move.’
‘Fin, we can’t stay here.’
‘We find somewhere to rest for a couple of days, then we cross the jetstream using one of the mountain passes further west, where all the lakes are.’
‘You sure they’re off our trail?’
‘No choice. At least if we get off the road they’ve a whole forest to search.’
Jac turned away from the conversation and started packing her things. The more she learned about what the others were dealing with, the more she became convinced that their world was too different. Life on a farm had been physically tough but it didn’t prepare you for this sort of thing. Her inexperience would get them all killed.
Fin’s voice behind her. ‘Jac? Where are you going?’
‘Back to the forest. I can live by hunting till they give up hunting us.’
‘Why?’
Jac turned to face her, making one last effort at defiance. ‘Isn’t it obvious why? I’m a liability, putting you all in danger. I nearly got my patient killed in that last fight.’
Fin rolled her eyes, refusing to take this seriously. ‘Listen young lady. I’ve already got two having crises, and that’s definitely two too many. You can have yours another time, but not now. Bel and Kit are going to need you over the next few days.’
Jac hefted her pack. ‘Fin, I’m a perfect shot with a bow and I missed. Twice. You know why.’
‘You did enough, the three of us could handle the rest of it. That’s all we expect. We need other things from you. Now. So you can’t quit on us.’
Reluctantly, Jac dropped the pack on the wet grass. ‘You always seem to know what to say to get people back in line. Can’t think what use I’ll be though.’
‘I told you. You have a gift and we have to protect it till you’re able to use it fully.’
Jac shrugged listlessly. ‘You seem to understand it more than I do.’
Fin glanced at the others. Bel was replacing the binding around Kit’s ribs. ‘All right. We’ve five minutes before we leave. Ask any questions that have come up for you since we talked last.’
Jac stared at her hands, the feelings of confusion refusing to go away. ‘Fin, I have tried to use it. When they were taking us to the marshes in the security jeep, I tried focusing on the guards. I couldn’t hear their words. All I got was how disgruntled they were at being sent out there, cold, wet, poor rations, bad conditions. But I picked that up from body language, tone of voice. Nothing special.’
‘Don’t dismiss it so easily. You don’t realize how sensitive you are to those tiny clues, compared to everyone else. And then there’s your ability to go deeper. It’s rare.’ Fin thought for a moment. ‘Did you feel anything when Colonel Parry came into the room where they were holding us?’
‘I didn’t... Oh.’ Jac stopped suddenly, reliving those terrifying moments in the damp, derelict house on the edge of the marshes. ‘There was... But I didn’t understand it.’
‘Think. Or rather feel.’
Jac focused again. ‘Fragmented impressions, intuitions... Fin, I’m sorry. I did detect something but I didn’t explore it. I think my fear got in the way of seeing it clearly. I convinced myself it was nothing to do with me because I couldn’t join the fight you three were planning.’ She was surprised by Fin’s sigh of relief.
‘Jac. At last. You’ve finally seen for yourself how dangerous this guilt trip of yours is. Your truthseer skill is far more valuable than the ability to fight. Any ranger can do that. None of us knew Parry was planning to help us escape, we saw the knife, heard his comments about torture and we were seconds from killing him before you saw it at the last minute.’
Jac couldn’t meet Fin’s eyes, the memory of it reproaching her.
Seconds from disaster because I lost focus on being part of the whole...
Something else clicked back into her mind. ‘Afterwards, when he grabbed my wrist, I could feel there was something he was keeping inside, keeping hidden...’ She tried to recall but her memory remained blocked by the terror of his iron grip on her arm and the ruthless determination in his eyes. ‘No, sorry, I can’t see it clearly. Fear again.’
Fin studied her for a few moments. ‘Good. You’re able to watch your own reactions. You’ll learn more quickly than if you only rely on our training sessions.’
‘So you will teach me? Even though I keep screwing up?’
‘Yes. Soon as we have time. And we get clear of this hunt.’ Fin looked across at Bel and Kit again. ‘Meanwhile, if you can clear your mind, really let go of your obsession with not being able to fight, you can help Kit find enough strength to make it through the forest on foot today.’
‘Sure... but why me? You and Bel have far more experience...’ Jac broke off, sensing this was something deeply painful for all of them.
Fin let out a long breath. ‘There are disadvantages to this kind of deep communication. Kit’s dealing with more than injury and exhaustion. Greg was his best friend. And Bel’s lover. Bel wants more than anything to help Kit but she can’t hide her own pain... and it’s too much for him.’
‘Greg was your friend too...’ Jac suddenly understood the shadows she’d sensed in the others, unacknowledged in the
frantic race to escape, to survive. ‘Of course I’ll try.’
She followed Fin across the clearing to where Kit was sitting leaning against a rock, a thin sheen of sweat on his arms and chest from the pain of the bandaging. She smiled as Fin ordered Bel out of the way with a curt flick of her hand.
As a bedside manner it would be a disaster coming from anyone else, but with Fin it just seems to reassure us even more...
Another brusque signal from Fin had her kneeling beside Kit. Fin drew Bel away to give her space to concentrate.
Jac looked anxiously at her patient. ‘I’ve no idea what I’m supposed to do.’
He didn’t smile. ‘I’m not sure you should try. It will really exhaust you.’
She held his gaze, thinking quickly, searching for something that would fit his depressive thought-patterns. ‘Kit. If you can’t walk, we can’t leave you here alive for staz to find and torture for information. You know I won’t be able to kill you––so you want to inflict it on Bel, make her go through that all over again? Or maybe just dump it on Fin like we’ve all been dumping everything on her since we escaped?’
Chaos, I’m starting to sound as grumpy as Fin...
His jaw clenched with an unseen pain, then he nodded and held out his hands. Jac clasped them in her own, noticing with a shiver of concern how cold they were. She closed her eyes, thinking of home to clear her mind, suddenly filled with longing to be back there as the image of the warm red sandstone farmhouse came to life. Matthias and Ariana joking together, pulling the animals out of sight under the trees as the spy drone approached, her grandfather explaining new uses for a familiar herb...
Cautiously, she opened her awareness to Kit and the shadow that was on him came into focus, filling her mind. Suddenly it felt too much. An avalanche of sleep deprivation, physical pain and exhaustion overwhelmed her as the sense of failure and loss gripped her with icy fingers.
Greg needed you and you weren’t there...
And then the agony of watching Bel wake again and again from the nightmare that haunted her, with the voice telling him he should have protected her too...
How did he carry so much pain?
Jac felt her breath coming in short gasps, pulse racing on the edge of panic, wondering frantically what she was supposed to do next. Then it was as if her body remembered for her, the transmutation coming more quickly than it had for the snake venom in her veins or the poison-filled earth of Hennek’s farm, and slowly the pain and fog dissolved into the warm images of her home. Complex neurotransmitters adapted and changed in her bloodstream, and the catalyst flowed back to Kit through the palms of their hands. Yet it was more than that, the mind-contact stronger now than when she’d first accidently connected with him in a burned-out shed near the city...
She felt him relax and she leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder, her breath synchronised with his, the closeness of the mind-touch a live current running through them both.
Now his fingers were warm against hers and the feel of his skin made her ache to move closer as she slid her hands along his bare arms to rest gently on his chest, moving with the rise and fall of his breathing. She found herself wishing this could go on for ever, and now she wanted more than anything to circle her arms around him and kiss...
What am I doing?
She pulled away in confusion, not daring to look at him, glancing across at Bel, bringing her running across the clearing to kneel beside her.
‘Jac, what’s wrong? What happened?’ She noticed the flush of warmth on Jac’s face. ‘Oh that. It always happens. I thought you’d know.’
‘It didn’t before!’ Jac tried to remember. The other time she’d connected with Kit at this level, the surprise of it all had made her lose connection almost immediately. Maybe there hadn’t been time...
Bel gripped her arm. ‘Look, I already told you we don’t all have the same one on one traditions as you outlanders. If you two want to make passionate love together I’m fine with that so long as you save him––’
She was interrupted by Kit’s laughter. Or it might have been a groan.
‘Bel. Get real. Have you actually tried it with two broken ribs and a headache the size of a thunderstorm?’
They both looked at him. He was smiling, a little more colour and warmth in his skin under the deep tan. The relief on Bel’s face was instantaneous. She squeezed Jac’s arm.
‘I owe you big time.’ She stood up to help Kit to his feet.
He stooped to kiss Jac’s cheek and whispered. ‘Thank you. You have skill to teach as well as heal. Don’t forget that. I won’t.’
Jac sat on the grass watching the two of them readying their gear, wishing she had Bel’s fierce strength and height, able to fight, protect her friends...
Why am I thinking like this?
She’d always been comfortable in her own skin, confident in her own resilience and looks without distractions of envy or dissatisfaction. Fin’s hand rested on her shoulder.
‘Are you going to sit there all day? We’ve some distance to cover.’
‘Fin, I swear you’re getting more grumpy by the minute.’ She looked up, saw nothing but affection and approval in Fin’s grey eyes and laughed. ‘I don’t think I can actually stand up.’
‘The exhaustion’s not physical.’ Fin heaved her to her feet. ‘It’ll go off once you start walking. And we need to stay close to Kit. You did really well there, but it gives him a few hours at most.’
Jac steadied herself and picked up her pack. ‘I’ve a thousand questions.’
‘Later. Before you start calculating and labelling, you need to learn. First, re-live all the phases, remember how it felt, how one phase led to the next––’
She caught Jac’s anxious glance and smiled. ‘Yes, even that one.’
*
Outside the Warren farmhouse Raine pulled his sweating horse to a stop and dismounted in a single rapid movement, wanting nothing more than to get inside and throw himself into the oblivion of work.
He wasn’t surprised to find Cass waiting for him. She had known him enough years to be able to sense when he was heading for trouble. She stepped in front of him and waited for a moment as they listened to the black gelding pant and blow from the gallop through the forest.
‘Didn’t work out then.’
Raine drew an impatient breath. ‘Said he’d call off the hunt if I turned myself in. And brought Pen with me.’
‘He knows you can’t do that. Too many people relying on both of you right now. He’s trying to mess with your head so you start making mistakes.’
Raine didn’t answer. Cass sighed resignedly, signalled one of the rangers to take the horse and steered Raine to the stone seat under the trees, his habitual place to pause and think.
He was too preoccupied to object to the way she was pushing him around until the fact that she was at the Warren at all finally connected.
‘Cass? What are you doing here anyway? Has something gone wrong at the Tarn?’
She leaned on his shoulder, forcing him to sit.
‘The instant I got your message that you were going to meet Parry I guessed things would get complicated and I came straight here. Someone has to tell you, think this through. Stop planning to go back to the city and surrender yourself to a system that wants you dead.’
Raine stared at her. ‘Am I so easy to read? Gives Parry a deadly advantage.’
Her face creased in a wry smile. ‘Easy for me, yes. But then I helped raise you from a half-grown kid until you transferred to the city. Put the pieces of you back together after rendition left you a guilt-obsessed wreck. Tried to keep those pieces together every time you pushed yourself too hard and started getting flashbacks. I doubt Parry knows quite how desperate you are to put yourself in harm’s way to protect the others––probably just making the usual sort of bargain you’d expect from this regime. I’m still surprised the meeting wasn’t an ambush.’
‘I knew he wouldn’t do that.’ Raine caught her anx
ious glance. ‘Don’t panic. I checked the place out beforehand. Couldn’t do much else after all your warnings.’
‘So what else did you learn?’
‘The five caught on camera in the city are under surveillance. He’s letting me warn them not to give away any contacts. His sense of obligation for what they did in the market rescue.’
‘A head of security with a code of honour. That’s new.’ Cass sounded sceptical. ‘What about Fin and the others?’
‘He’s under orders to arrest her in the next few days. I got the impression the other three aren’t considered particularly important.’
‘But Fin?’
‘They know who she is.’
‘Everything?’
‘Let’s hope not.’
29
Parry swiped his security clearance card, pressed his palm to the glass of the scanner and walked through the outer gate of the Dome compound. His resentment at being drawn back into everything the presidential palace stood for made it seem even uglier than usual.
He walked through the security checks at the entrance to the building and the heavily guarded reception area at the top of the stairs, then straightened his uniform and waited until President Moris appeared. Parry stepped back as inconspicuously as possible, trying to keep breathing distance from Moris’ heavily-perfumed hair lacquer.
They walked down the long corridor together, Moris dispensing with pleasantries and coming straight to the point. ‘I hope you’re up to speed with cabinet meeting protocol. There’s an issue with taxation.’
‘Hardly a security issue.’
‘It will be. Cabinet wants to raise taxes and if they do, more workers will go under the wire and run.’
‘Or join the paramilitaries planting IEDs in the city. I really need more budget to deal with that––’
‘After I get your full cooperation to keep people out of the forest.’
Parry controlled his frustration with difficulty. ‘Yes. Agreed.’
Give him what he wants or you’ll get nowhere...
‘Do I need a list of names for this meeting?’
