by Hamel, B. B.
If he wants to talk, he’ll message me. I’m a college student, after all. I have nothing but time and he knows it.
So I try to keep my mind off him, but it’s impossible. Now that I’ve felt what it’s like to kiss him, it’s like I can’t think about anything else.
Maybe if there were other guys at Gradus, but unfortunately, that’s not the case. There’s a normal college nearby with boys and girls, and sometimes Gradus girls go to their parties off campus, but mostly we keep to ourselves.
Mostly we compete for the ten sponsored slots.
Sometimes I think I should try competing with the other girls again, but I just can’t make myself do it. I already have a sponsor, and besides, I can’t switch on my own. He has to let me go.
Finally Friday rolls around and I find myself on my laptop in bed, scrolling through my newsfeed, trying not to think about Brady coming back soon. And almost as if on cue, an article pops up, posted an hour ago by some girl on our floor.
BRADY LONG’S SORDID AFFAIR
I stare at it before forcing myself to click. I feel a little sick to my stomach as I read.
It’s just some trashy article on a trashy gossip blog, but the content is a little disturbing. Apparently, the lead girl from the movie Brady just shot claims they had an affair during filming, but that he broke her heart when the shoot ended. She claims they were getting close, but suddenly he decided things were over and broke up with her via text. Apparently he called her some nasty things.
It freaks me out. The idea of Brady doing something like that…
It’s awful.
And while I was left alone in the sponsored dorms, he’s out sleeping with some young, hot actress.
I can’t help but search for more.
Other stories pop up, all about the girl and her claims. It looks like she’s really making them. TMZ has an article about it and the details don’t exactly flatter Brady.
As I search, more articles appear as more news outlets start to grab it. More details come out about her claims and the more I read, the more I want to get sick.
Brady didn’t seem like this kind of guy. He didn’t seem aggressive or rude or short. He didn’t strike me as the kind of guy to say nasty things to a woman just because he doesn’t want to be with her anymore.
But the things this girl claims…
I shut my laptop lid as a chill runs down my spine. I suddenly don’t want to leave my room. I’m sure everyone on campus knows about this by now and they’re all going to be talking about it.
I roll over onto my side as the door opens and Azrael comes back. She saunters over to her desk and collapses into her chair. She fires up her computer and starts clicking around before she lets out a low whistle.
“Looks like your sponsor just got canceled,” she says.
I look up at her. “I saw.”
“Is it true?”
“I don’t know,” I admit.
“Huh.” She frowns, although she’s always kind of frowning. “Pretty nasty stuff there.” She hesitates a second. “Weren’t you supposed to be with him last year?”
“He didn’t seem—” I sigh and stop myself. “Yeah, I was.”
“Huh. Doesn’t look good.”
I bite my lip. “She could be lying.”
“Maybe. But do you really want to victim-blame here?”
“I don’t know what I want to do. Is this stuff ever simple?”
“Guess not.” She shrugs a little. “Good luck with that.”
Without another word, Azrael puts on some headphones and starts playing World of Warcraft.
I sigh and plop back down on my back. She’ll be playing that all night.
I want to talk about it but I know Azrael isn’t the best person to chat with. Iris might be better, but she’s so sweet and innocent and I just can’t face leaving the room right now.
I roll over onto my side, grab my phone, and type a message to him. Is it true?
I hit send, my stomach a mess. I think I might get sick.
He responds right away. No. I’m coming back.
That’s it, nothing else. I stare at the screen.
He says it’s not true. And he’s coming back.
I’m not sure I want him to.
4
Brady
I don’t think I’ve ever gotten this many calls or emails in my entire life.
As soon as the story about Charlene broke, my phone blew the fuck up. My publicist was freaking out, my agent was livid, and my family and friends were mostly just concerned.
I couldn’t talk to any of them. I assured them that I’m doing okay, even though I’m not, and I’ve been keeping a low profile. Reshoots finished up last night and now today I’m flying back to the East Coast.
I only responded to one message, one text. The only one I actually cared about.
I don’t know why Charlene is doing this. We had a perfectly civil working relationship on the shoot. We weren’t best friends or anything like that but we didn’t butt heads or get into fights. Mainly we did our jobs and went our separate ways. I keep wracking my brain, trying to think of a time that I was rude to her, or short with her, or something that would make her want to do this to me.
And I’m coming up with nothing. Because the fact is, I didn’t touch that girl. We never had an affair, let alone one that ended the way she says it did.
I didn’t do any of the fucked up shit she she’s claiming.
I know. So many fucking guys are accused of this stuff and they all deny it, but then you find out that, oh, yeah, they really are fucking scumbags. I’m not going to pretend like I haven’t rooted for the downfall of some of most fucked-up ones out there.
But I’m not one of those men. I pride myself on being polite and professional with everyone I work with, male or female. This industry can eat people for breakfast and wreck them both physically and emotionally, and I don’t want to be that kind of director. I don’t use people, I don’t put my actors in situations they don’t want to be in. I go out of my way to try and make them comfortable.
Which is why this shit with Charlene is so baffling. I try so hard to make women feel respected and happy and comfortable on my set, and yet I still get accused of some pretty heinous shit.
It just makes no sense.
I’ve tried calling her, but she won’t answer. I left messages, text her, even got in touch with her agent. Nothing came of any of it. She’s not talking to me and she’s not explaining why she’s making this shit up.
Because I really didn’t fucking touch that girl. I certainly didn’t do anything she claims I did.
The only good thing about the flight from LA back out to Gradus is that I got to turn off my phone and pretend like the outside world doesn’t exist.
But of course, as soon as we touch down and I rent a car to drive out to campus, the real world creeps back in.
Fucking hell. My inbox is full, my voicemail is full, and I want to smash my phone to little pieces.
I turn it back off and drive.
It’s not long until the forest around Gradus thickens and I finally wind my way up through the thin back streets onto campus. It’s strange, the way Gradus just sort of appears out of the trees, like some kind of ancient lost city. I know the school’s old, been around forever, and this matchmaking sponsor thing has been a part of it since the start.
Gradus used to be a finishing academy for the upper elite’s women. Wealthy men would come to Gradus to have their pick of the smart, well-connected girls. That tradition has continued over the years, although with a few little tweaks.
Now, you buy your way into the game. At the start, before freshman year, we draft the girls. Ten men choose ten girls to be the special sponsored girls. The girls are ours. We’re not allowed to steal girls from each other, though we can drop our current girl for any other unsponsored girl on campus. Apparently, there’s quite the competition for sponsors, although I haven’t really seen much of that yet.
We’re
also not supposed to interfere in the lives of our girls, although I don’t know how that’s meant to work. Still, there are rules, and breaking them could land me in some shit and get Jenna kicked out. I want to avoid that, if at all possible.
There’s a special dorm for the sponsored girls where they’re kept away from the main campus dorms and pampered like crazy. I’m supposed to be around all the time, buying her presents, taking her out, all that shit. The fact that I wasn’t around last year took a whole lot of negotiating and a really fat check to the dean of Gradus University, Mortimer Trim.
So now here I am, back on campus, back in the game. I know the other sponsors are probably with their girls trying to get them pregnant or married or whatever we’re supposed to do. I know some of them are even pretty happy with their picks while some of them aren’t exactly.
I’m somewhere in the middle. I’m happy with my pick, but I’m not happy with how things have gone, although admittedly that’s mostly my fault.
Once on campus, I go to the sponsored dorm and head up to Jenna’s room. Since it’s empty now, I decide to take it over as my own, the perfect spot to hide away from the media. Nobody will come looking for me here.
I change, shower, and head back out. It’s a little after six and I think Jenna should be on her way back from dinner by now. I’m nervous as I walk through campus. I know she read the news, probably read Charlene’s account of what supposedly happened between us.
She probably hates me.
I wouldn’t blame her. The poor girl thinks I ditched her to go work on a movie while having an affair with another woman on set.
I catch a group of girls staring at me as I walk along. They whisper to each other and I can only imagine what they’re saying. Even here I can’t totally escape the world outside.
I park myself on a bench near the dorm and wait. I try not to notice the girls staring at me openly like I’m some kind of animal. I mean, I am the only man around so they’d probably be staring at me even if it weren’t for the news, but still.
After about ten minutes of waiting, I spot Jenna, Iris, and Azrael walking down toward the dorm. I stand and they spot me right away. I don’t move, I just wait for them to slowly approach.
Jenna says something to the other two. Iris looks concerned and Azrael looks a little bored, although she gives me an appreciative smile as she walks past.
Weird girl.
I turn and face Jenna as Iris hurries inside.
“Hey,” she says.
“Hey.” I stare at the girl. Fucking hell, she’s gorgeous. I can feel her lips against mine all over again, but I have to push that out of my mind. “We should talk.”
She nods. I gesture at the bench and she sits down next to me, although I can’t help but notice how she leaves a nice, big gap between us.
I sigh. “I guess you read the blogs.”
“Everyone’s talking about it.”
“What do you think?”
She bites her lip and doesn’t answer right away. “A lot of men are getting caught with this stuff,” she says slowly.
I clench my fists. “Did you read what she said I did?”
Jenna looks away. “Yeah,” she says softly.
“Do I seem like the kind of guy that would dump her over text? Call her a fat bitch?”
She clears her throat. “I don’t know.”
That fucking hurts, but I guess I deserve it. “I’m not,” I say softly. “It’s convenient that she doesn’t have a shred of evidence, isn’t it? Doesn’t have the texts to back it up. Nobody on set noticed anything happening between the two of us.”
Jenna shifts uncomfortably. “I’m sorry. This is just a lot.”
I sigh and lean back on the bench. “I know. It’s fresh for me. I… I’m not like that. I’ve worked hard not to be like that.”
“What do you mean?”
“This business, it’s not good to women. Shit, it’s downright cruel to some of them. I’ve worked hard to make sure my set is as comfortable and as professional as possible. I don’t pressure my actors into doing something they’re not comfortable with. I don’t treat the women any different from the men I work with. I don’t date actresses, definitely not ones I’m working with.” I sigh and shake my head. “Fucking hell. I don’t know what I did to her to make her want to do this.”
Jenna doesn’t say anything. We sit there together in silence and I realize that she’s the only person I really care about convincing. It’s strange, I barely know her, and yet I felt like something could’ve started to blossom between us.
Now, this happens. This fucking thing.
I clench my jaw. I’m so fucking angry with Charlene. I’m so livid and I don’t understand why. I don’t understand any of it.
“Look, I know you have no reason to believe me,” I say, turning to her. “You really don’t. But I’m here anyway and I hope maybe you’ll…” I trail off and shake my head. “I guess I hope you’ll see past this bullshit.”
“It’s hard,” she says softly. “Everyone’s talking about it.”
“You give a shit what they say?”
“I give a shit some girl accused you of awful things.”
I wince at that. “It didn’t happen.”
She hesitates for a second. “I did read that some people from your shoot said they never saw anything inappropriate and you were nothing but polite and professional.”
That gives me some hope. “Because that’s the truth.”
“But she says it happened outside of work hours.”
I groan. “Of course she does.”
“I just don’t know what to think, Brady. This is a lot.”
“I never touched her. I have no interest in her and I never did.”
She meets my gaze for a long moment. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
She lets out a slow breath. “Okay then.”
I blink. “Okay?”
“Okay.” She forces herself to smile. “I’m not saying we’re totally fine and I totally trust you. This is all a lot to process. But I’m saying that you’re here and I guess that means something.”
I nod slowly. “It does mean something.”
“So, what now?”
“Now I’m staying at the sponsored dorm in your old room.”
She snorts. “At least it’ll get some use.”
“Can’t waste a good thing.”
“You now, I do kind of miss that place. It was pretty nice.”
“It’s basically paradise.”
“A lonely one though.”
I flinch and lean back. “Yeah, well. That’s my fault too.”
“I didn’t mean to throw that in your face right now.”
“It’s fine. It’s the truth. None of this has gone my way lately.”
I feel her shift a little closer on the bench. I look over and she’s looking up at me with these beautiful eyes and suddenly I’m thinking about kissing her again. I’m thinking about the way she tasted, the way she felt. Fucking hell, I’m thinking about taking her back to the dorm and stripping her clothes off one piece at a time.
Not yet though. Not after this stupid shit with Charlene.
I stand up suddenly. “Meet me here tomorrow around this time,” I say.
“Okay.” She blinks, a little surprised.
“I’ll see you then.”
I hurry away. I can feel her eyes on me and that’s okay.
I need at least a night to process and I think she probably does too.
As I walk, I take out my phone and call my agent.
“Brady, what the fuck? Where the fuck have you been? One of your actresses says you two had an affair and it ended badly and now you disappear for fucking an entire day? What the fucking fuck?”
“Vince,” I growl. “Enough.”
He takes a breath. “God damn. I think I’m having a heart attack.”
I grin, “I bet you are. Listen, I want to release a statement.”
“What do y
ou want to say?”
And as I walk, I dictate him the damn thing.
5
Jenna
“Did you read it?” Iris looks at me with those big blue eyes and I almost want to give her a hug.
“I read it.”
“What do you think?”
I shrug a little. “It’s more or less what he said to me last night.”
She clears her throat and holds up her phone. “’I understand the pressures women face in this industry. I’ve seen it firsthand in other men, in men that don’t care about pushing them, taking from them, using them. I’ve seen it time and time again and I’ve always been striving to do better. I treat women and men as equals and with equal respect on my set. I don’t ask my actors to go beyond what they’re comfortable with. I don’t pressure, cajole, threaten. I treat my actors as I’d want to be treated. That’s all I can do. I never had an affair with Charlene and I certainly never said any of the nasty things she claims I did.” Iris looks up from her phone. “That’s pretty good.”
“Yeah, it really is,” I admit. “I just don’t know what’s true. She says they had an affair and he says she’s lying. I don’t know who to believe.”
Iris bites her lip. “Are you going to see him tonight?”
I nod. I already made up my mind there. “I said I would so I’m going to.”
“Just be careful.”
I glare at her. “He’s not some crazy rapist or something.”
“I know, it’s just—”
“I’ll be fine.”
She sighs. “Yeah, yeah.”
We split up and I head to class. For the rest of the day I’m worrying about what all this means and thinking about that statement he released.
It’s causing a buzz on the internet. People are calling him a fake, a liar, while others are standing up for him. Meanwhile, the actress that talked about the affair hasn’t spoken since.
