by Eva K. More
“Who knows about me? How- Is he the owner of this cabin?” If she hadn’t been as close, she might have overlooked the slight widening of his eyes. “That’s it, right?” She asked excitedly, feeling a rush of accomplishment. It felt good to get some answers.
“Yes,” it sounded like he was grating gravel with his jaw. Then he tried to side-step her, but she followed him quickly, taking up even more of his space.
“How did my Baba know about him?” She asked, encouraged by the answer that she already got, to continue with her questioning.
Gabriel shrugged one big, tense shoulder. “He must have called them.”
“How, why?”
He looked above her shoulder for a moment before slowly gliding his unreadable gaze back to hers. “Your bag. The number was in your purse.”
It sounded quite possible, but there was still something missing. “But-” How had he gotten the number out of my bag? She wondered, unable to say that out loud.
“Jesus, Kat!” Gabriel finally bellowed, gripping her shoulders and moving her to the side. “That’s enough for today.”
He meant to move again, but she didn’t want to leave him room to breathe. She was a mixing bowl of emotions right now, feeling excited, aggravated, happy to have talked to her grandparents, sad to still be in this situation, intrigued and confused by the call. However, the moment she gripped his arm to hold him back, he exploded.
It shouldn’t have surprised her, really. He had kept a tight grip on his emotions and reactions since yesterday, but she had felt his anger simmering inside. Unmistakably, something in her conversation with her grandmother had surprised him; he - who so obviously liked to be in control of a situation - hadn’t expected it, and his initial reaction had been fury. But Kat had been much too curios - rightfully so - to use time and tact for the answers she wanted, no, needed to hear.
With a growl, Gabriel pushed her against the wall, one of his hands gripping her throat. It wasn’t tight enough to obstruct her airway, but it was firm enough to keep her head from moving, and it managed to shock her into silence. He held her in place with his other hand on her hip.
If she had wished for a reaction, she now had his undivided attention with his eyes blazing fire and all.
“Shut up,” he said slowly. “You’ve got no sense of self-preservation. All you can do is push and push until something breaks. You pushed your luck not only in that alley but yesterday in the goddamn forest, and you keep pushing me. Listen closely, little bird,” his tone turned darker, and his face moved closer until her breath fanned across his mask, “you can’t win with me. One of these days, your goddamn nosy ass will get the spanking it deserves. Now let the subject drop.” With a squeeze to her throat, he underlined his demand.
Then he let go and shut the door of his room with a bang.
Kat stood rooted to the ground, examining her response to his wild behavior. There was her beating heart going a thousand miles per hour, and her frantic, erratic breathing rising into her throat, clogging her voice. Then there was that strange warmth in the pit of her stomach, and in her mind’s eye, she could still see his blazing grey ones, feel the burning heat of his fingers. She had been scared, of course. But… somehow, not really.
She knew that Gabriel wouldn’t hurt her, not only because this whole thing of rescuing her would be a fraud then. No, she had sensed it. Sensed that he wouldn’t harm her but that he had wanted to punish her in some way.
His touch had been intimate, much too intimate and raw, not innocent at all, and Kat- oh goodness! She buried her face in her hands, taking a deep breath through her nose.
It had been terrifying and thrilling! After the initial shock, there had been a moment where she had wanted him to rip that mask off his face, kiss her, bite her, nuzzle her.
What the hell is wrong with me? She wondered, for all she knew, there weren’t even lips beneath the mask.
***
He listened to the dial tone, and when the older man picked it up, he remained quiet for a couple of seconds.
“Maryan.”
“Gabriel.” he returned the greeting.
“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me that you contacted the grandparents?” It burst out of him. Gabriel was still seething, burning inside, really.
Maryan was silent for a moment. “I couldn’t possibly let them live in fear after everything they went through. But how do you know?” He was mildly curious, not suspicious at all.
“I had her phone them to tell them she’s alright. They mentioned you,” he said, less angrily than before.
“Hm. And why would you do that?” Maryan asked in a conversational tone, even though Gabriel thought that he would get reprimanded, but no, the man still sounded relatively calm.
Gabriel thought about her beautiful smile. And then about finding her in the forest, singing a child’s song with an eerie expression on her face, like she had been barely there. “She’s relentless,” he grunted gruffly.
The laugh that followed wasn’t surprising. “Good girl, she keeps you on your toes, then. Good.”
She had him, alright. But he wouldn’t admit anything.
And he was still angry about what had happened. Yesterday, she could have died, and today the conversation with her grandmother had taken him by surprise, something he couldn’t cope with well.
Instead of acknowledging Maryan’s statement, Gabriel channeled his misgiving feelings. “Yeah, well. Now we have a mess. Her grandmother mentioned your name, Maryan. How could you not tell me?”
“Why didn’t you just ask?” The older man retaliated. “I didn’t want them filing a missing person’s report for obvious reasons. This mess you’re in, Gabriel, is not my fault.”
Gabriel took a deep breath. Alright, that’s true. He hadn’t contacted Maryan with this idea of the phone conversation because he hadn’t wanted to appear soft, didn’t want the older man to believe that he was giving in. He could see that he was at fault there, but Maryan could have mentioned something of that sort. Of course, without her calling them, this information would have been of no use for him.
It irked him that he hadn’t foreseen this. It especially grated on his nerves that he had lost total control of the conversation.
“What did you tell her about me?” Maryan asked.
“That you were an acquaintance and not to ask further questions.”
“And did that work?” Gabriel could hear the man smiling on the other side of the line.
“Yeah… for now.” He begrudgingly said, knowing that at any giving moment, Kat would begin with her incessant questions.
“How are you handling her otherwise, Gabriel?”
She kept questioning him, fighting him, challenging him. And her big green eyes were always pulling him into her soul and sucking him dry. If she only knew what one smile from her did to him. He was getting sloppy, letting her escape the house and nearly killing herself, pushing her against walls; he was dreaming of filling that nosy mouth with something completely different than her curious questions.
“She’s fine,” he said in a gravelly tone. And she was. Now at least. He still couldn’t think clearly about yesterday when she had been on the verge of frozen death. It scared him shitless. When it came to her, he was the one slowly losing his focus, but he would never tell any of that to Maryan of all people.
“Good.” He said, and after a small pause, he continued. “Is everything progressing with Ivo?”
“Yes. Anton has forgiven him. I just received a message that I’m to visit with some of Anton’s friends this week. I think we’ll have what we need very soon.”
“Good. Because I can’t wait to cut those bastards off at the hands, especially now.”
Gabriel knew that Maryan didn’t want Kat staying with him, with the Beast. Frankly, he was aware of the danger, even more so than the man on the other line. He should get rid of her as soon as possible. Otherwise, he would lose his mind or something even more dangerous… his control.
at was in a foul mood. She had realized too late that Gabriel had managed to distract her from her thoughts. She needed more answers, but he just kept evading her, punishing her with cold stares and walking a wide berth around her.
And to make matters worse, she couldn’t stand the icy distance between them.
She could admit that what she had done had been wrong on many levels and that he had been sweet by letting her talk to her Baba, but she was missing the incentive from his side. If he could only yell at her, then they could move on and leave all of this behind them.
Why had that Maryan person even notified her grandparents? Why had it seemed like her grandparents knew him? Kat didn’t believe in fate, karma, and the likes, despite her Baba constantly talking about kismet.
Her grandparents were strictly orthodox, but what had begun as a youth rebellion against her upbringing had turned into a firm belief – or rather non-belief for Kat because she had remained deliriously godless. So why did she feel like she was in the middle of a conspiracy theory?
Some of the puzzle pieces didn’t add up. Most of all, Gabriel didn’t fit the image he had created at first. Heck! Ever since the incident a few days ago, he was watching her with apprehension every time she opened her mouth. Then there was this tangible tension between them, impairing her ability to breathe.
When he had pushed her against the wall, she had been surprised because, up until that moment, he hadn’t lost his temper-well, at least not like that. Although, she had recognized the signs of his heavy breathing and the murderous look to be only a short step away from him losing his control completely.
She wanted that, him losing control; she wanted to see his reaction. She wanted answers. And all those longings cumulated and transformed into restless nights and the beginning of a migraine, so, without preambles, she decided that this had to end. They would have that fight that was brewing between them once he returned from wherever he had gone to a few hours ago.
***
She was startled out of her slumber sometime later as a hard pounding on the windows indicated the heavy rain pouring outside. The weather was as measly as it had been the whole week before, switching between heavy rains and cold winds.
As she laid still in bed, slightly jumping when a flash of lightning followed by a tremulous thunder brightened up the sky, her ears filtered another noise, and her heart started beating heavily in her ribcage.
It sounded like the shower was running, and Gabriel always disappeared in the shower whenever he came back from being Beast, so, filling herself with bravery, she rushed out of her room and saw the light shining from the small crack beneath the bathroom door. There was no doubt about it now, he was back.
She patiently waited until the shower stopped running, and a few minutes later, he finally emerged. Steam rose behind his back and evaporated in the cold air; the lamp of the bathroom was the only source of light. Gabriel stopped in his tracks when he saw her standing in front of him. Of course, he had thought of taking the mask with him, she mused, but hadn’t cared for clothes and was wearing only a towel now.
After the one time she had nearly seen him without his mask, he had become cautious with it.
“Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you,” he said as his eyes roamed over her figure but didn’t focus on her face.
She knew that he was closing in again.
How long did he want to preserve this cold attitude with her? She deserved for him to treat her like a human! Her resolve to start this conversation nicely shattered.
“Where have you been?” She said, her eyes narrowing and her hands balling in fists at her hips.
As if not caring to answer her accusatory question, he crossed the hall to his bedroom, all the while holding the towel loosely around his hip with one hand. He didn’t switch the light on, but left the door open for the bathroom lamp to illuminate the room.
“Working,” he answered curtly.
She puffed her cheeks in anger. It was all too much, the emotions were drowning her, and she needed to take a breather.
“That’s all you ever say! And, like the idiot that I’ve become, I just keep waiting for you to tell me the air is clear.” Determined to fight him on this matter, Kat had followed him into his room. The heavy cascading of the rain against the windows faded into the background, and she only heard the rush in her ears.
He sighed as he stopped in front of the bed. In the barely-there light, the tattoos on his marvelous back played tricks on her eyes; they appeared to be moving, crawling along the hard planes and ridges of his defined muscles.
Gabriel lifted his free hand and ran it through his wet hair. “Sorry little bird; it’s not clear yet.” The sarcasm dripping from his voice filled Kat’s mouth with a sour taste.
“Surely, little old me can’t hold Ivo’s interest for so long!” She spat. The truth was that she couldn’t comprehend it. Why would Ivo fixate so much on just a simple girl?
Gabriel took one long breath. “He’s a very proud person. Girls are his business, and he has been bested by one. Go figure.”
“Why can’t I go back and just simply stay with my grandparents instead?” Kat asked incredulously. “It would be a lot better for both of us.”
“Not possible.” He replied in a decisive tone, trying to close up the subject in one of his Beastly ways.
Kat clicked her tongue. “But I cannot stand being near you anymore.”
“Tough shit, little bird.” Gabriel put both his hands on his hips while he sighed heavily. And there was that restrained fury again, straining his voice.
“There must be another way. This Maryan person seems involved, just like my grandparents. I could stay –”
“Drop it,” he advised carefully.
This was the opening she was waiting to address what was really bothering her. She knew that in time, this would be Gabriel’s reply, as on several occasions, she had tried prying into this subject, subtly and not so subtly, and the answer had always been the same.
“Sure, why don’t we stop talking to each other altogether then? It’s not like you’ve made any effort lately,” There it was, she had said it. She watched his hand glide down his chest and rub it softly before she heard his defeated sigh.
“What do you want?”
Kat stepped closer to his figure and followed his gaze out the window. “Answers. To be free. For you to finally yell at me.”
His head snapped into her direction. “What?”
“Come on! Ever since you found me in the forest, you’ve barely spared me a glance. I can feel your anger, but you don’t act on it, and frankly, it’s suffocating me! Come on, just let it out.”
When he raised an arrogant eyebrow and dismissed her with a slight shake of his head, she lost it and did what he had accused her of doing the last time: she pushed him, literally. It was light and had him barely staggering.
“Come on,” she said, shoving him again. There were both desperation and frustration in her voice. She wanted him to return to the man he had been before, for them to get back on the track of becoming friends. “Come on!”
He blocked her arm. “Stop that.” He said, and Kat could see the contraction of the muscles in his forehead.
Kat used both hands on his chest. “No! Come on, let it all out.”
The moment he snapped, thunder jarred the windows.
Gabriel grabbed her wrists and pulled her into his body, and Kat didn’t resist; instead, she stepped on her tiptoes, bringing their faces closer. “You’re crazy little bird, a total nutcase. You want my opinion on your ridiculous stunt?”
“Yes.” She answered, even when she knew it was a rhetorical question.
“You could’ve gotten yourself killed, and then everything I’ve done would have been for nothing. And why did you do it? Because you felt entitled to push through your own interests no matter the costs. You’re a spoilt, selfish little girl, not used to listening to others- not even when it’s your own life on the line. Not even when others risk their li
ves for you. It’s only you and yourself in your own little world.”
Kat couldn’t say that the words didn’t hurt, but her gaze didn’t waver. “Good, tell me everything you think of me.” Her voice, however, wasn’t as steady.
“You think you can shake your ass at any man, bait them and then retreat into that virginal, innocent shell of yours. You’ve pranced around in barely your underwear and tried to befriend me, no doubt thinking that you could play your games with me too,” he spat, “but does a friend betray one as you did?”
Well, that had felt more like a slap to Kat than anything he had said before. A part of her noted that what he had said about her prancing around held some truth because she hadn’t taken the time to dress into something homelier and less provocative. Not that the shirt was very revealing, but she wore no bra, and it barely reached her mid-thigh.
“Oh no,” She whispered as she wrestled one hand free to poke an accusing finger against his chest. “Don’t you blame me. I bared my soul to you, trying to make you understand, and you just brushed me off. How could I have known that you’d eventually see reason? I couldn’t have smelled that, could I?”
“It would have been enough for you just to stay put like you had been told.” He spat and brought her even closer to him. His towering figure was imposing, but she wasn’t going to cower.
“And do what? Play house? Cook and clean for you and pretend the world around me doesn’t exist? That it’s just you and me?”
So maybe her words had held just enough venom to make it sound like she would have prepared to strangle herself rather than spend time with him, but Gabriel reacted as she had killed his pet, letting go of her at once and shoving her away from him. As if he was disgusted.
“No,” he said solemnly, “I’m sorry being here with me is such a burden for you. Next time I try saving your life, I’ll find nicer company.”
Putting her hands on her hips again, she shook her head. “Sarcasm doesn’t suit you, Gabriel, and you know that’s not what I meant. But I can’t just stay here and wait for you to haul me out of this mess. It makes me feel helpless. You know all about control and how hard it is to lose it.” She tried to reason with him, to make him see her point in all of it. “I needed to do something because I needed to know that I still had some kind of effect on my own life.”
