by Olivia Janae
Charlie’s shrug was unapologetic. “My job is to make sure that she knows everything happening in the room.”
Kate flushed and wondered how often Charlie had to translate the types of things that had just been said about Vivian. “They were – are – idiots. Thank you for taking him.”
Vivian nodded, something strange on her face. Max gave a little sigh as she took him, deeply asleep with his thumb lodged in his mouth. It was clear that Vivian wanted to say something; her mouth was silently open, her eyes roaming the room for the words that her tongue had not yet found, but though they sat there, she wouldn’t or couldn’t form them. Kate just watched Vivian, waiting.
She hesitated and then, thinking she knew what was on her mind, she reached out and touched the back of Vivian’s hand. “You’re my friend, Vivian.”
“Yes, well, thank you.” Vivian uncrossed and crossed her legs twice.
“This is why you do it, isn’t it? Why you keep your professional face on all of the time, I mean. It’s so you don’t have to fight even harder to get people to do what you say, isn’t it? It’s because people talk like that no matter what you do.”
Vivian’s eyes settled on hers, something unreadable hiding there as she studied Kate’s face. Finally, very slowly, she began to sign, speaking simultaneously in a practiced whisper. “Talking with my hands …” She held them up and they both watched them flow back into words. “It’s unusual. It’s unwelcome. People don’t know how to respond to it. Not only am I a woman in the workplace, but also a woman with a vulnerability… a disability… a handicap.” Kate opened her mouth to protest, but Vivian silenced her with a kind but insistent hand atop her own. “If I do not prove them wrong, they will walk all over me, yes. They will exploit it. This has been proven time and time again.”
Kate’s heart hurt as she saw the pain in Vivian’s eyes. She had seen it once before, right after she had offended her so thoroughly when they first met. The hurt pulled on Kate’s heart because it was clear that this pain that Vivian felt was not new. This was a pain that Vivian knew well.
Softly, she closed her hand around Vivian’s long, slim fingers. “I get it. I hate it. And it’s stupid. But I get it.”
Together they watched Vivian’s free fingers lightly dance over Kate’s, as if looking for a landing spot.
“Oh shit, Vivian!” The warmth, the connection she had been feeling, was suddenly gone as she noticed the large splotches of sick across Vivian’s white button-up and black slacks. Also, she noticed in that moment that Charlie had, at some point, removed herself while she and Vivian had been sharing a moment of… whatever had just happened between them.
Vivian chuckled, embarrassed by her messy state. “Every time I tried to get up to wash it woke him.”
“I’m so sorry! Oh my god.” Her hand covered her face; she was mortified. “My son threw up on my boss!”
Vivian pulled Kate’s hand from her face. “What was that?”
She shook her head, thinking that perhaps repeating that wasn’t something she should do. “I’m sorry!”
“Don’t be.” Vivian tenderly stroked Max’s head. “I was going to clean up as soon as I could. I’ll go now. When I return, please let me give you two a ride home.”
“What? No, your car!”
“We can get him something to be sick in, if need be.” Kate went to protest again, but Vivian held a hand up. “Would you rather he be sick into a bucket in my backseat or on the ‘L’ with god knows how many people watching him?”
Kate’s mouth snapped closed. Anyone who had ever lived in a big city knew the experience of someone vomiting on public transportation. It was the worst.
“Really, you don’t have to! Puke is gross! Being a parent is gross!” Kate insisted as she climbed out of the car, holding Max and the large Ziploc he had been sick in.
“I found a parking spot, Ms. Flynn. That alone is proof that I am meant to come up and help you this evening.”
It was true they had found a parking spot, but it was a solid six blocks away from her apartment. She wasn’t completely sure that counted as fate. She couldn’t let Vivian come with her. Five minutes in this neighborhood and the usually crisply clean woman would run away screaming, never to be heard from again.
“Seriously, Viv—” Her lips smacked shut at the chilling look she received, so reminiscent of that fierce woman she had first met. “Okay then. This way,” she said, clasping her pepper spray under Max’s behind.
Vivian looked at it, obviously startled.
“I’ve never actually needed it,” Kate promised, her cheeks burning.
Vivian gave a silent nod and followed her down the street.
They walked in silence for a block, Vivian surveying the area carefully. “You know, perhaps I’ve been disillusioned by movies and television, but I’ve always thought that the harder neighborhoods of Chicago would be a little more intimidating. You said that this area was less than desirable, but I find it to be quite charming.”
Mortification trickled down Kate’s spine. Vivian was looking into the courtyard of the cute apartment building they were walking past. The grass was green and trimmed, as were the bushes and the small flower beds, and along the walkway were tall, dim lamps giving off a welcoming glow. “Yeah, that place is cute.”
Max moaned and spilled sick down Kate’s back. “I’m sorry, Mommy,” he cried, hiccupping out some more tears.
She cringed, her stomach rolling. Her hangover had quieted hours ago, but now she paused, wondering if she might be sick as well. She closed her eyes, willing her gorge to recede. She could not throw up in front of Vivian. She could not throw up in front of Vivian. She took a few shallow breaths, praying to the universe.
“It’s okay, don’t worry, little man,” she finally said, when her stomach had settled. Kate picked up her pace, trying not to watch Vivian’s face for a reaction.
As they walked, the neighborhood began to change. The flower bushes in front of the apartments disappeared, giving way to broken Styrofoam cups, beer bottles, and empty chip bags. The pleasantly glowing lights turned into obnoxious orange street lamps and blinking police surveillance boxes. The sidewalks filled with small groups of teenagers, all menacingly clustered together, all watching them pass with hooded eyes and the distinct feeling that they were up to no good. Vivian’s eyes flash warily as they passed them.
“Uh, this is it.”
Vivian nodded once. “I see.”
Kate’s cheeks flamed brightly. “Yeah. It’s fine during the day but at night—”
“Hey, Snow Bunny,” her usual thug called, cutting off Kate’s words. He and his friends were crowded around the entrance to her building, gathering for whatever reason; Kate had to assume drug sales. “Whew, you stink, girl! Usually you smell so pretty! Let me help you with that boy. He looks heavy. I don’t mind playing daddy for a little while.” His friends let out hoots of laughter, nudging one another, but also moving to step out of their way.
Kate had a feeling the man’s bark was worse than his bite; still, she squared her shoulders and escorted Vivian through the crowd.
“Dayum, mama! Look at those titties!” another man cried, his hands covering his mouth as he whooped, gleeful.
It took Kate a second to realize that they were not talking about her. They were talking about Vivian; the white shirt she was wearing fit well, but it was straining just a little bit, almost fashionably, at the bosom. The water Vivian had used to wipe Max’s sick away had left it somewhat see-through; something that would have been pleasant to notice at any other moment. Frowning hard, she pushed Vivian a little faster, grateful that her friend couldn’t hear them.
They went through both security doors and up the hallway. Kate saw Vivian’s nose twitch and had to laugh. She couldn’t argue. The area between the security doors had a strong smell of mold and decay, which melted into a sickly stink of marijuana, fried fish, and rotten onions as they climbed the stairs. “I know, it’s bad. If it means anything at a
ll, my place doesn’t smell like this.”
Vivian smiled softly, her hand hovering over but not touching the small of Kate’s back as she gestured for her to continue up the flights of squeaky stairs.
Rounding the corner to the third flight, Kate noticed a large cockroach skittering across the floor. She bit her lip and desperately hoped that Vivian hadn’t seen it. Most Chicago buildings had roaches, but Kate was willing to bet that wherever Vivian lived, there were no roaches.
Politely stepping over the bug and continuing on, Vivian took Max so Kate could open the door. They immediately headed to the couch. “Well, you’re right, Kate. The area is… perhaps less than desirable, but the apartment itself is nice.”
“Yeah, um, I think the area is really trying to rejuvenate,” she said lamely, pulling off her soaked shirt as quickly as she could. She loved her son, but being a parent really was gross sometimes.
Vivian cleared her throat, her eyebrow rising.
Kate laughed, feeling her gaze like a warm stroke across her body; a stroke that made her want to dance and move. “I’m literally covered in puke.”
Vivian clicked her tongue, something unnamable passing over her face. “What was the gentleman downstairs saying to you?”
“Oh. He’s always offering to help me when I have groceries or I’m carrying Max. I haven’t decided if he sees it as a chance to hook up, if he wants to case my apartment, or if he’s just trying to be nice.”
“I see.” Vivian’s voice was flat, that large vein in her forehead thrumming, her lips pursed.
“It’s not so bad, Viv, I promise.”
Vivian’s hands clamped together in front of her, her darting eyes reminding Kate that she wasn’t wearing a shirt. “Perhaps there is something that can be done. You have a lease, but I have a team of lawyers that—”
“No!” Kate jumped. She couldn’t even imagine it. She would never be able to look Vivian in the eye again if she broke her lease for her, if she hired lawyers to solve her problems for her.
“I’m sorry?”
“I just mean, no, it’s okay. I just spent most of our savings on the move here. Plus, where else are we going to find rent this cheap?”
“Kate, surely—”
“I’m good.” She shook her head, getting it momentarily caught in the tank top she was pulling on. “We’re good.”
“Mommmmy,” Max sniffled, sitting up on the couch.
They had just enough time to grab a pot from the kitchen before the poor sick boy heaved. Vivian held him tightly, rubbing his back while Kate worried. “Maybe we should have taken him to the ER.”
“What’s his temperature?”
They took it and found it was down to 99.9. “That’s a little better than before.”
“I wouldn’t worry, then. I would wait and see how he is in the morning.”
Max cuddled under his blanket, eyes growing heavy.
“Buddy, if you have to be sick again, please tell Mommy or Vivian, okay?”
“Okay, Mommy.”
She hurried into her bedroom, ripping off the rest of the stained clothes. She grabbed a wet wipe from the box on her dresser and tried to clean herself as best she could. She wanted a shower, but Vivian should have it first, so she pulled on a pair of pajama pants then brought a set to Vivian. “You should change. Seriously. Take a shower.”
Vivian eyed the clothes then looked to the large open windows that faced the street. Though they were a few stories up, they both could see that the crowd of thugs had moved to the front door of the apartments across from them. While they weren’t looking their way, or into the apartment, all it would take was for one to look up and they would be on display.
Kate sighed and closed the blinds. “Take a shower. You’re safe here, Vivian. Look.” She pointed at the door, which had a deadbolt, a lock, and a chain. “The back door looks like that, too.”
Vivian took a deep breath, and for a moment, there was a huge divide forcing its way between them, Vivian in her suit and Kate in her tank and shorts. Kate twitched uncomfortably. She worked hard for what they had, and she would not apologize for it. No, the area was not to her liking, but she would not allow herself to feel bad about it – even though she had found a needle in the back stairwell the night before. It wasn’t as though this was permanent. Fate had just given them a crummy hand.
“I’m sorry.” Vivian stood, her palms running over her cheeks and hair before settling on the back of her hips. “I’m being silly, aren’t I?” She took the clothes but paused. “Kate, it isn’t that I’m worried about myself, truly, I’m worried about …” She trailed off, her eyes flicking over Kate’s face and then to Max before she gave a small smile and disappeared into the bathroom.
Kate settled next to Max, who was already snoring, and rubbed his back lightly.
She hated when he was sick, even when it was clear it was simply the common flu like this surely was. Hopefully he would wake with the worst behind him.
Vivian emerged from the steamy room not long after, her hair damp, her face clean of makeup; clothes in the plastic bag that Kate had given her. “Now I smell like you,” she said, giving her a wolfish grin, all of her usual charm back in place.
Despite her stress, Kate couldn’t help but stare. Vivian in one of Kate’s tank tops was one of the most startlingly stirring sights she had ever seen; add the small, pink pajama bottoms that hung loosely off of her hips and Kate was dizzy. Something about forcing Vivian out of her comfort zone, out of her usual stiff attire, was so drawing. It was her first full glimpse under the physical mask of Vivian Kensington, the mask of designer labels and mineral-based makeup… and she wanted more.
“Is he sleeping?” Vivian asked, settling next to her.
Kate nodded.
“Are you all right? Kate, I’m very sorry if I made you uncomfortable before.”
Kate shook her head, nearly spilling the bottle of water she had been holding as she tried to make it seem as though she hadn’t been staring. “It’s okay. I just hate that I can’t help him.”
“You are helping him.” Vivian smiled, wrapping a comforting arm around Kate’s shoulder.
She sighed and let her head settle against Vivian, extremely uncomfortable and awkward, yet entirely sated. She began to relax immediately.
She tilted her head up so that Vivian could see her. “Not in any real way.”
“Do you think we should put him into his bed?”
Kate shook her head, about to whisper to Vivian that she should go home, but her thoughts fell away.
She was woken sometime later by a tickle across her nose. She swiped at it, but the tickle continued. Slowly, groggily, she opened her eyes and found that the thing tickling her was a brunette wisp of hair.
She blinked, confused as to how she had gotten in this position. She and Vivian were still sitting half a cushion apart from one another, but their shoulders and heads had bridged the distance to lean heavily together; Max a tiny ball between their hips.
Kate didn’t move. She couldn’t move as thoughts raced through her mind, recalling the previous night.
She felt badly that she and Ash just didn’t work together. Last night had been the first time that she had noticeably felt their age difference. Ash had felt like a teenager, self-centered and rude. She understood completely, in truth. When she first had Max, all of the unpleasant smells and liquids he seemed to spew had disgusted her. She hadn’t planned on being a parent, and she had still been young. She had enjoyed going out just as much as Ash did. It wasn’t until the second time he had covered her face in spit-up during a rousing game of airplane that she had grown used to all of it and accepted it as a disgusting but worthwhile part of mom life. That was the thing that bothered Kate; Ash didn’t seem to understand or care that Max was worth it.
And yet, here was Vivian, still asleep, with Max wrapped in her embrace.
What was it with Vivian? She had said that she wanted children of her own; had she just latched onto the closest c
hild in need of a secondary parent? That was ridiculous, though, because it was obvious that Vivian was getting just as much out of Max as he was getting out of her. That made her nervous. Kate’s instincts told her to limit their time together, while her heart said they could gain so much from one another. The dichotomy was aggravating, and she wasn’t sure which was correct.
Kate groaned as her sore back registered. Vivian felt her stirring and sat up, yawning and confused. Kate stifled a giggle. Vivian’s face was pulled down into a groggy grimace, her usually perfectly styled hair flattened on one side. Seeing behind Vivian’s professional shell was addicting. She was cute like this, sleep-mussed and yawning.
“I guess we fell asleep.”
Vivian nodded and stretched.
“Mommy?”
“Hey, little man, how are you feeling?”
“When’s breakfast?” he asked with a grin.
13
Time passed quickly. Suddenly it was three days to September.
Max was yanking hard on her arm to get her to hurry up, excitement bubbling over and spilling everywhere. “Mommy, come oooooon!”
Kate looked at the building incredulously. Her phone’s GPS swore this huge warehouse was the location of Vivian’s condo, but for the life of her, she couldn’t see how. The warehouse was shoved into the bustling street of Wabash Avenue, not far from where Vivian had taken her to see the Bean. The location seemed right. Vivian said her building was still under construction, but this building looked abandoned and there was a homeless man sleeping in the doorway.
Why hadn’t she made it over in the past few weeks, just to see the space? They had spent every single day together planning Max’s party – how had they never made it to her home?
Well. She supposed that she should go inside and see. Carrying Max past the snoring man, they entered to find a stark lobby: empty brick walls, highly polished wood flooring – nothing to write home about, and yet it rang with elegance.
On the far wall was an architect’s drawing of something called “K Lofts,” with the promise that they were coming soon. Beside the large poster, two security guards eyed her from behind a small counter against the wall. Kate smiled awkwardly and moved past them only to stop when she realized the elevator required a key. She chewed her lip unhappily but approached the formidable looking duo. “Hi, um, we’re here to see Vivian Kensington. Is, uh, is this the right place? How do we get up there?”
