by Olivia Janae
“I think there was some type of altercation between Ash, John, and Kate just before it happened,” Mary supplied in a quiet voice, her head cocked slightly to the side in thought. “Guys?”
“Fine,” Vivian barked after a long silence. “Tell me,” she demanded of John, who stood his ground next to Kate, despite those blackened eyes burrowing into him.
Briefly and honestly he told Vivian everything that had happened, from him teasing Ash to Ash purposefully bumping into Kate.
Vivian’s chest heaved as he continued, her anger rising as she understood the situation. “You idiot!” she yelled, though whether at John or Ash, Kate wasn’t completely sure. “What were you thinking?”
“In my defense,” Ash said in her slow, condescending way, “I literally never meant for any of this to happen, okay? It was an accident.”
Kate bit her tongue. She bit it hard, willing herself to stay quiet, willing herself to stay professional. This was not the moment to start shooting off her mouth. If she did, she would say something that would make it worse; she always did.
“To be fair, friend, it didn’t seem like it was,” John shrugged. “Kind of seemed like you were pissed. That’s on me, partially, but that’s also on you.” There was a mutter through the other players as they agreed.
Vivian approached Ash with all of her distaste, all of her loathing, evident on her face. “What were you thinking?”
Ash stumbled to her feet, a show of remote defensiveness appearing in her features. “I’m upset. That’s not an excuse, but it was an accident. I’m sorry, okay? Geez.”
“Oh, you’re sorry! Is this how you were taught to behave, Ms. Campbell? Is it? You were upset? Is this how you, as a musician, as a professional, feel you can behave? An instrument is broken! A very expensive, very personal instrument is broken!” Vivian tore into her. “As a professional, this is outrageous and unforgiveable, Ms. Campbell! This is not how we behave under the Kensington Foundation, and this is not how we behave in the WCCE! This is not how a person over the age of thirteen behaves! You were and are very much in the wrong! I will have your job by the end of the night or so help me! Your repeated refusal to behave as an adult is appalling!”
The chewing-out was a harsh one, and the longer it went on, the deeper the shade of purple in Ash’s face grew, until finally she exploded, shouting at Vivian at the top of her lungs. “I made a mistake! We all fuckin’ make mistakes! I was upset, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean for it to happen!”
“You were upset.” Vivian sneered. “Tell me, Ms. Campbell, were you upset about personal business or were you upset about professional business?”
She rolled her eyes, staring just over Vivian’s head as she gave a rude grunt. “You know it’s personal.”
“Oh no,” Vivian scoffed, her arms crossing. “I don’t, Ms. Campbell. Not in here. Out there,” she pointed toward the back door, “perhaps I understand the matter of your upset or even its highly personal nature, but in here, within these walls, I do not, you unprofessional moron! I know nothing of your life! As it should be!”
Ash gave a bellow, her fists shaking like she might strike Vivian. John, Kate, and Charlie leapt to their feet, but Ash just shouted back, “And yelling at me on behalf of your girlfriend isn’t just as unprofessional?”
There was a sudden upswing in murmuring that surprised Kate out of her dark thoughts for a moment. She glanced around to see that everyone was staring, shocked. Kate had assumed that Ash had told them all by now, but apparently her relationship with Vivian had thus far been a secret.
“There, I said it!” Ash yelled. “I said the thing that you weren’t going to say.” She jabbed a finger at Kate. “And you certainly weren’t going to say! You cheating assholes are the only reason I was even upset tonight.”
“No one cheated!” Kate yelled.
“So what about your blatant and appalling unprofessionalism?” Ash spat at Vivian. “You’ve always had an issue with me, and that’s the only reason you’re here yelling at me! Anyone from the board could have come, but noooooo, it had to be you, right? Yeah! Unprofessionalism! You’re her boss! So before we discuss my accident, let’s point four fingers back at yourself. I wouldn’t be in this state if it weren’t for you!”
“Are you trying to say that it is our fault you broke my cello?” Kate asked, her voice low.
“Yes!” She pinched the bridge of her nose, doubling over for a moment before saying, “I mean, no. I don’t – I’m all fucked up over this, Flynn. Ugh, no one sign that to Vivian.”
“I am not angry because I am seeing Ms. Flynn romantically!” Vivian hadn’t noticed their exchange and instead powered on, incensed. “I am here because of your rash and juvenile behavior! The fact that Ms. Flynn is my girlfriend has nothing to do with it. I am here as your superior!” She scowled deeply. “This is absolutely unacceptable, Ms. Campbell! I have never—” And in her vicious anger, for just a moment, Vivian lost control of her voice, and a large honking sound escaped her throat.
Kate’s eyes shot wide. She knew Vivian had spent years, most of her life in fact, in speech therapy, learning to avoid a moment such as that one. She prided herself on never slipping, not when she was paying attention. It showed just how angry she was.
For a moment, it seemed as though Vivian was going to try and pretend she hadn’t felt the distortion happen, but then Ash’s eyebrows rose to her hairline and settled into a disgusting look of smugness. “I’m sorry, what was that?”
Vivian froze, mortified.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Kate roared, and launched herself at the girl.
She had to hit her. She had to get to her stupid fucking ex and punch her.
John and Charlie caught her around the middle. She thrashed wildly, needing to sink her fist into some part of her. “Let – me – get to her – stupid –fucking – face!” she cried, her anger beyond anything rational. It was childish and wrong, she knew that, but she couldn’t believe her gall. Ash had broken her cello, and now she wasn’t even going to hide that she was a downright asshole. “Do you make fun of children in wheelchairs, too, Ash?”
As a pair, Charlie and John pulled her through the stage door. The cool night air hit her like a brick to the face, bringing back some of her sense. She yanked away from them, swearing and pacing. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lost my head.”
“Don’t apologize to me!” Charlie growled, glaring back at the stage door.
“Kate, I’m sorry,” John said softly. “I know this is partially my fault. I feel like a prick. Please, if there is anything I can do. Let me buy you a drink or something. You could use a drink. Come on, let’s get toasted.”
In truth she didn’t blame John. She blamed herself for dating the asshole at all. Charlie and Vivian had both warned her, and she had done it anyway.
She glared at John, her impression of Vivian perfect as she snarled, “You better buy me several.”
They went to the ensemble’s regular bar, where Kate sat, fuming, on a stool. There was a beat of silence, and then she turned, staring at John expectantly.
“Right! What about you, Charlie?” he asked, a glint in his eye. Charlie gave him her best mischievous grin.
The innocent flirting spiked Kate’s need to hit something. She glared at John, whose grin wobbled a little, and ordered a double row of shots. The three slammed them back quickly, cringing and shuddering.
“Again!” John called to the bartender, raising his empty cup in salute.
After her third shot, Kate began to feel better. She wasn’t drunk, but she was well on her way and happy about it.
After her fifth, she was drunk, and nothing had ever felt better. She was beginning to wish for Vivian.
“So,” John said, throwing his arm over Kate’s shoulders, his inebriation making him bold. “You and the Ice Queen, huh?”
Kate snarled at him; there was no such thing as drunk enough to allow badmouthing Vivian. “Shut up, John. Isn’t this part of how we got here
tonight?”
“No, no, no!” Charlie cried, slapping the table a few times and then wrapping her arm around her friend’s waist. She propped her chin on Kate’s shoulder and clicked her tongue. “Viv refused to talk to me about it. I want to know! She won’t answer any of my questions, and it’s been days! I should have been informed of the scoop within the standard twenty-four hours.”
“Oh, there’s a standard?”
“Of course!” Charlie giggled and fluttered her eyelashes.
Kate looked at them both and rolled her eyes. “I am so not talking about this. Bartender, another round please.”
Charlie shook Kate so hard that she nearly fell off her stool. “Tell me! I’ve been dying to know. How did it happen? Is she good? I always thought that Sign Language would make a lesbian really good in bed. All of those” – she waggled her fingers at Kate – “small finger movements, you know?”
Kate’s lip twitched. She wouldn’t have shared this information with John alone, but with her friend Charlie, she grinned. “It does.”
Charlie slapped the bar. “I knew it! So, how did it happen?”
“She took me dancing,”
“Wait, she can go dancing?”
The women glared at John, who shrank a little, his hands in the air, eyes wide.
“Why, because she’s deaf?” Charlie challenged. “Some of the greatest dancers in the world have been deaf.” She poked him hard in the chest. “There is a deaf dancer at the Joffrey Ballet now, as a matter of fact.”
“Hey, hey! I’m not trying to start anything. I just didn’t know. Cut me some slack, ladies, sheesh. I’m a novice here!”
Charlie turned back to Kate. “So?”
Kate laughed and recounted the evening, up until, blushing, she had to stop or reveal what had come after they had returned to Kate’s apartment.
“So, are you happy? Are you, like, in love now?”
Kate laughed, feeling lighthearted for the first time since that sickening crack. “I don’t know. It’s early. She’s great, but honestly, Charlie, I’m a little worried about doing this.”
“Doing what? Being with Vivian?”
Kate nodded slowly, unsure how to explain what had been worrying her.
“Why?” Charlie bellowed, clinking her shot glass against Kate’s and John’s before they swallowed them down. “It’s not because she’s deaf, is it?”
“Charlieeeeee,” Kate drawled in protest.
Charlie narrowed her eyes. “Then what?”
“I don’t know. I’m worried about Max. What will life be like for him when she’s gone? What will it be like for me? I can’t imagine how he will take her leaving when we break up.”
“Break up? Why are you breaking up already? You just got together! What the fuck?”
“Huh?” Kate had been staring into the bottom of the shot glass, her mind drifting through the sickening sea of feelings that she knew Vivian’s departure would bring.
“You just said ‘When she’s gone’ and ‘How he will take her leaving after you break up,’” John supplied. “Why do you say ‘when’? Shouldn’t it be ‘if’? If you guys break up?”
“Did I say when?”
“Yeah!”
“Oh.”
“It hasn’t even occurred to you that she might not leave, has it?” Charlie glared, her features suddenly hard.
Kate scowled back, remembering once again how Vivian was far too good for her. “Have you ever been in a relationship that didn’t end?”
“No, but everyone has to eventually. Why assume she’s going to leave? God, that’s so shitty!”
Kate didn’t have an answer except That’s how things have always worked, so she kept her mouth shut.
“That isn’t it, though, is it?” Charlie eyed her.
“What?”
“There’s something else.”
They took another group shot. “I don’t know.”
“Liar,” Charlie signed.
“Am not!”
John looked confused.
“Then tell me,” Charlie goaded.
Kate’s drunken state made the confession slip past her lips before she had given it permission. “I don’t know if I can do this! I think if I let myself be with her, I mean really be with her, with no bullshit, then I – I’ll fall in love with her. God, Max is already in love with her! I mean, have you met her? She’s amazing.”
Charlie and John burst into an uproarious fit of laughter.
“What?” Kate asked, feeling too vulnerable to take the laughter well.
“Kate!” Charlie chided, slapping her on the arm. “If you’re worried about that then you’re already on your way! I think you have been since the Bean.”
Kate was blindsided, an SUV of words slamming into her at full speed.
“Yeah,” John laughed. “Let’s just hope Ash doesn’t break her, too.”
Charlie gave a rude snort. “I’d like to see her try.”
“Very fuckin’ funny.” A voice came dryly from behind them.
The three spun to face the villain of the hour.
Ash looked like death warmed over; clearly Vivian had put her through her paces. Kate shot up, shoving her hard in the chest before she could stop and make herself think past the alcohol fuzz of her brain. “My cello, Ash! My cello? What is wrong with you? You fucking broke my cello because I didn’t want to sleep with you? Because I would rather sleep with a deaf woman? Are you fucking kidding me?”
Charlie tried to pull her back, but only halfheartedly.
Ash winced but said nothing as she shoved her again and again.
“That was my livelihood, Ash! That was literally the food in my son’s mouth! That was my rent! That was my heart! I love what I do, and you ruined it! How dare you? How dare you? Do you know everything I will lose if I lose this job? My apartment! How can I cover for Hilary without a cello? We’ll have to move again, and I just promised Max we wouldn’t! All over Vivian? You fucking jerk!”
The bartender shouted a warning at them, but Kate ignored it, continuing to shout at Ash despite the fact that she was all but sitting on someone else’s table. “I told everyone that you were a nice person! I told everyone that you weren’t just a player or a millennial! We will have nowhere to go! I don’t have any family! I don’t have any friends!” Behind them, Charlie scoffed. “What am I supposed to do without a fucking cello, Ash?” Kate screamed, shoving her hard enough that she went skidding over the top of the table behind her.
Suddenly, gruff hands grabbed her by the back of the shirt and the ponytail, making her yelp and spit like a cat. Memories of her rebellious youth flashed through her as Kate writhed against the hands, not entirely sure what was happening until, with a cry, she flew out the front door. She sat for a minute blinking as Charlie, John, and Ash came flying after her, the huge bouncer yelling at them to sober up.
Clicking heels came at a jog as Kate tried to clear her head. Vivian finally appeared, yelling at the bouncer about injured extremities of musicians and lawsuits as she helped her up.
Exchanging looks with Charlie, Kate’s face cracked into a grin. “Did we just get kicked out of a bar?”
Charlie and John roared with laughter, holding tight to one another to stay upright.
“I think we did!” Charlie reached over and high-fived Kate. “We need to go out more.”
“What happened?” Vivian looked between them expectantly.
“Well, Ms. Kensington,” John said, slurring badly, “we thought it might be best to get Kate here very drunk. And then we all got very drunk.”
“What?”
Charlie did her best to interpret, her hands slurring as much as her speech.
Vivian’s eyes narrowed, but she cleared her throat in a way that did not hide her amusement well as she turned on Ash. “Really, Ms. Campbell.” Vivian’s voice was like acid. “I remember instructing you specifically to leave Ms. Flynn alone from now on. You’re already on thin ice and only kept your job because you groveled to
my mother! Are you really so desperate to pursue unemployment? Go home. Get yourself together.”
Her jaw flexed. “I will, I know, I’m sorry, okay? I just want to say” – she tried to take Kate’s hands, but Kate ripped them from her with a petulant and very drunk roar – “I just want to say, I am so very sorry, Kate. I’d freak if it was my bass and probably would have thrown you through a window. I will cover any costs that the insurance doesn’t. I have a good repairman. We can take it to him.”
“And if it can’t be fixed, Ash? Did you see the size of the hole? It was like a quarter of an inch!”
“I don’t know! Then we’ll figure something out.”
Kate glared for a long time. “Remind me of that when I’m sober.”
Vivian rolled her eyes, agitated. “Now please, Ms. Campbell. Go home.”
Ash lingered for a second longer before, with a sigh, she turned from them.
When she was gone, Vivian finally pulled her into her arms. “Are you okay?”
Kate blinked at the Sign, seeing double. “You mean other than the fact that I’m going to lose my job?”
“What?” Vivian frowned. “Kate, why would you think you are going to lose your job?”
“Um, how can I keep it without a cello?”
“Kate!” Vivian laughed. “You are not going to lose your job! You wouldn’t lose your job over this!” Vivian kissed her lightly. Much to Kate’s drunken embarrassment, the kiss, which had been entirely innocent, made her giggle, igniting the flame low in her belly. She bit her lip, hand closing on Vivian’s arm.
Vivian gave her that knowing smirk again. “My, my. You are quite drunk, aren’t you?”
Kate scrunched up her nose and gave her best puppy dog eyes. “I guess we went at it pretty hard.”
Vivian’s eyebrow tilted a bit, and that made the fire roar.
“Hey, you don’t get to do that eyebrow thing when we’re in public anymore.”
“Well,” Vivian said, kissing her in a way that made both Charlie and John clear their throats and look away, “I think I had better… get you home.” She had done her best to whisper in her ear, and it sent perfect tingles of delight down Kate’s spine.
