by MK Schiller
The sound of everything, the waves, the birds, the sand as it blew in the wind, stopped. It all stopped. Next to my parked Mustang was a bright orange truck. My heart stammered at the sight. I circled back, calling her name, coming out to the beach again.
She’d come back to the beach, but she wasn’t alone. Vance stood a few feet from her, screaming obscenities. I ran, not stopping until I was in front of her. Her hand found mine and squeezed it as she leaned against my back. Scarlett…I am your shield. I am your sword.
“You need to go,” he said.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Scarlett’s coming with me,” he said. “She is my anchor.”
“She is not going anywhere with you.”
His hands shook, but he managed to pull the pistol out of his pocket and aim it at me. She gasped. I moved backward, making sure my frame covered hers. She clung to me. The combination of his wide grin and dilated pupils gave him a deranged look. “You said I’d better kill you next time, so I brought this.”
I leaned my head back, whispering to her. “When I count to three, you run. You run as far and as fast as you can. And don’t stop running until you flag down a car.”
“Are you crazy? I’m not leaving you. I can talk to him. He’s high on something.”
“Are you going to get out of my way, or do I have to shoot you?” Vance asked.
“Put it down, Vance,” she said.
“Stop talking to him and listen to me,” I said. I lowered my voice. “Don’t argue. On three… One.”
She clung tighter, her fingers digging into my skin. “You’re going to get yourself shot.”
“I’m right behind you. I’ll run too in a different direction. He can’t shoot both of us.” I hoped the lie was enough for her. “Two.”
Vance was barely able to stand. Sweat dripped down his hairline. His movements were sluggish, and my legs were strong. Worse of all, his upper lip kept twitching upward like was trying to break free from the rest of his face. I could take him, gun or not.
“I love you, too, Jason.”
Even in that crazy moment, her words gave me relief. I placed my hand over hers. “I know. Three.”
I breathed easier when the sound of feet pounding on sand confirmed she’d listened to me. She was safe.
“Scarlett—” Vance screamed, turning in her direction. Before he got two steps toward my girl, I barreled myself into him. He held the gun in the air, firing a shot. I grabbed his wrist, shaking it to release the piece of metal, while my other hand formed a choke-hold over his neck.
My fingers squeezed into his jugular while I tried to wrench the gun from him. He shot off another round, the blast louder, faster, and hotter than the first. The sound was more like a cannonball than a singular shot. My hand blistered against the sharp burn on the barrel. The birds squawked, fluttering in a million directions. I tasted the gunpowder in the air. But it was the scream that changed my world. That scream pierced every cell in my body. Her scream.
We both turned in the direction of it. “No. No. No!” It sounded like my voice but too far away to come from inside of me. The image of Scarlett, staring down at her breast where the small inky circle grew larger with each second, killed me. The random stray bullet had shot right through her heart.
I ran, catching her before she fell. I laid her down in the sand and pressed my palm over the seeping blood. Her eyes were bright and full of pain. “Scarlett, listen, sweetheart, you’re going to be okay. Just breathe.”
She shook violently as her life seeped through my fingers. A tear rolled down her cheek. I held her, counting her heartbeats. Counting her minutes and seconds. I pressed as hard as I could, trying to stop the blood. Why was there so much fucking blood? Her eyes flickered and her mouth opened as if she wanted to say something, but no sound came out.
Hang on, Scarlett. This is not your day to die.
Her heart stopped beating. My own heart begged for the same fate. “Scarlett, don’t leave me,” I pled. I touched her face, smearing blood on it. I rubbed at it, trying to get it off, but it just made things worse. “Scarlett, don’t die. Don’t die. Don’t die. I love you. I will not lose you.” But even as I pled with her it was no use. She was lost to this world.
I heard the click of the cocked gun. The hot metal rim burned against my temple.
“I…I…I didn’t mean to kill her. I didn’t kill her,” Vance stammered. “You did. It’s your fault.” He jabbed his finger in the air toward me. “I wasn’t going to hurt her. Just you if you got in the way again.”
“I know,” I said. The calmness of my own voice surprised me. My need for revenge gave out to the emptiness. I just wanted to be with her again. Whatever world she was in, I would follow.
He had to end me.
“Do it.” I leaned toward her. I pressed a kiss to her mouth. A lover’s kiss. “I love you, Scarlett. I’m going to find you again. Wait for me.” I closed my eyes, sitting up again. “Do it,” I repeated. Nothing happened. “Do it, you fucking pussy. Kill me,” I begged, pressing my head against the barrel.
He moved the gun away from me. I heard the shot, but I didn’t feel it. It didn’t puncture my brain.
His body bounced as it collided against the sand, next to hers.
“Fuck!” I screamed.
The selfish bastard shot himself. The shouts in the woods alerted me. People were coming. They were too late to help us. But they were coming anyway. Time moved with both stillness and speed. I snatched the pistol from Vance, prying it from his cold hands. I bent down and whispered in her ear.
“Wait for me by our rock. I’ll find you, baby.” I held the gun against my head closed my eyes and pulled the trigger. The hollow click mocked me. Click. Click. Click. I opened the chamber, spinning it repeatedly. Empty.
“Where the fuck is my bullet?” I screamed at Vance’s lifeless body and hurled the revolver at him. Salvation lay in the water surrounding us. The waves beckoned me. I turned back to her. “I love you in every lifetime. I’m made to love you.” Her body lay motionless and cold. So, so cold.
I walked toward the water. It welcomed me with every step. As if my only purpose was to bury myself in waves. I walked until the ocean was above my head. The salt water didn’t even burn my eyes. There was no inclination to struggle. No need to fight and lunge upward for air. No, this felt right. I was at peace somehow. I was where I needed to be. Maybe we could not be together in this life, but there would be the next. Right?
I felt light headed, but I forced myself to stay down. This is what I wanted. I grabbed onto some seaweed to ground myself. I closed my eyes. When I opened them, I saw her, swimming in the water. She wore a white dress, and it floated around her. Her red hair shimmered in the water, going in every direction. God, she was beautiful. My angel. My serenity. My girl. She floated toward me.
I’m here, Scarlett.
She didn’t smile. She kept coming toward me. I tried to reach for her, but the water felt heavy and dense, as if I was swimming in sand.
Finally, she reached me. Her voice was clear, no bubbles formed at her mouth. She said just one word. “Breathe.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
The hands pulling at me were familiar. I’d high-fived and shaken them many times. I’d thrown and caught a football to and from these hands. Tommy, why are you doing this?
“Not your time, Flynn,” was the empty answer echoed back at me.
I was on my back, sputtering mouthfuls of water. Someone was doing compressions on my chest. Fuck no. No. No.
Shutting my eyes, I begged God to let me go. Save her and have me. I must have repeated that request a hundred times until the darkness captured me completely.
I blinked my eyes open. The sun shined around me, casting a warm glow. I stretched my arms. All pain was gone. I could have run a marathon. I was perched on our rock. The waves rolled all the way up to the rock. They had never come this far out before.
She emerged from the water in an apple green
bikini with a pink skull in her belly button. She was born of sea spray and blown here by the wind.
Feeling returned to my extremities. Her body stood tall and firm, almost rigid. She did not return my smile. Instead, she took long strides. I smiled in relief, ready to embrace her. Instead, she slapped me…hard across the face.
“Ouch.”
“You were going to Romeo yourself for me?” She spat out the accusation, her stance demanding.
“I can’t do this without you.”
She rubbed my cheek where she’d smacked me. I leaned into her hand, hungry for her touch. “You were right.”
“Right?”
“Vance is that guy, but it’s over now. You can’t save me. I’m gone. Let me go and promise me you won’t do anything so stupid again.”
“Why didn’t you run?” I asked, shaking her shoulder. “Why?”
“Because I knew you wouldn’t.”
I buried my head in her neck. “Stupid girl.”
“Stupid boy. Promise me.”
“I can’t.”
She lifted her face, her hair snapping against the wind. “Remember when I said I couldn’t remember my dreams?”
I nodded.
“When I took that last breath, they all came to me, clear as day. Every single one of them, Jason. And you were in all of them.”
I almost smiled, but I couldn’t move. “I was?”
“Do you remember senior prom?”
It didn’t sound familiar. “No.”
“I wanted to look perfect that night. I got the stupid idea to borrow my mom’s heels, but she has bigger feet and they were too spiky for me. I tripped on my dress. When you came to pick me up, I was sprawled on the floor with a sprained ankle. Instead of prom, you ended up taking me to the emergency room.”
“Doesn’t sound beautiful, Texas.”
“But it was because you held my hand and refused to leave even when I told you to go by yourself. When I got sad about missing prom and not getting to dance with you. You left and came back with my iPod. You set it up to my favorite song.”
“‘Here Comes the Rain.’”
She nodded, wiping a tear. “The meds had kicked in by then. You carried me in your arms and swayed with me. I asked what the hell you were doing, and you told me we’re dancing. I told you that you have to use your own feet when you dance. I’ll never forget your reply.”
I kissed each of the freckles across her nose. “What was it?”
She swallowed, wincing as if it was painful. “You said that you belonged to me—every part of you. When I couldn’t stand on my own feet, I could use yours.”
“I’m pretty romantic.” I pulled her toward me, kissing her softly.
She laughed. “It’s a good thing we were in the hospital because a lot of those ER nurses suffered from a serious case of swooning that night.”
“I never had that dream.”
She started fading. I grabbed her tighter. “Too bad. It was my favorite…so many beautiful dreams.”
“Not dreams…memories.”
“Yes.”
“Let’s make some more. We’re not done yet.”
She shook her head, light filtering through her body. “We can’t, but we have more beautiful memories than most people. We’re lucky that way.”
“Lucky? How can you say that? There has to be a way to save you.”
The tear shimmered as it rolled down her cheek. “Baby, let me go.”
“I can’t. What was this for?” I demanded. “There was a reason I found you again, and it wasn’t to lose you in four fucking days.”
“I don’t have that answer. But those four days were the best of my life.”
“Me, too.”
Her skin became translucent. I could see the beach through it. “Now promise me you won’t be a dumbass and pull another stunt like that.”
“I can’t.”
“Dammit, Flynn, I don’t have any more time—just give me your word. I know you’re a man of your word, and I need that before I go.”
I couldn’t hold her anymore. She floated up like a kite, but I managed to grasp her finger.
“Promise me.” Her voice wavered.
“Will you disappear if I promise? I don’t want you to go.”
“I’ll disappear anyway.”
I inhaled, choking on emotion. It gurgled in my lungs and across my heart, suffocating me, making it difficult to speak. “Don’t leave me.”
“No matter where you are, I’m with you. Now promise.” She disappeared, but I still felt her presence.
Defeated, I buried my face in my hands. “I promise, Scarlett.”
My chest raged with flames so high not even the ocean could douse it. My lungs screamed for release. I sputtered and choked until my mouth exploded with saltwater.
“We got him,” someone yelled. “He’s breathing.”
How could I be alive? I’d lost my heart and soul.
Chapter Twenty-Five
I saw myself in the hospital. My body connected to tubes and machines. The constant stream of nurses and doctors kept jarring me conscious. I hated it. I craved the solitude of darkness.
Sometimes the pain sharpened, but whenever I moved, they came and gave me a shot. I welcomed the numbness. It protected me.
Then my family came. Aunt Rose spoke in hushed tones to the doctors. Anna squeezed my hand, crying. Keith said something comforting to her about how I was a fighter. I would make it.
Keith, you have no idea.
I heard other voices, too, although I was too tired to see their faces.
When I opened my eyes again, I was a little stronger. I still floated, suspended above the room, but the scene unfolded in reverse, the edges of my vision blurred. Everything was the same, except I wasn’t the one laying down. I sat in a chair, staring at the girl in the bed. “Scarlett?” I asked with hope. But as it came into focus, I saw Scarlett, alive and well, next to me, her hands kneading my shoulders.
“I’m going to start the arrangements,” my father said, his voice thick and gruff. I’d never heard my father cry. He helped Aunt Rose up. Her sobs could probably wake the dead.
“Ready, Flynn?” Dad asked. “They…they need to prepare her.” He covered his mouth like that might keep his grief locked in as he said it.
“I’m staying with her.”
“We should go,” Dad said.
“It’s okay,” Scarlett said. “I’ll stay with him. He needs to say good-bye.”
She always had a way of translating my emotions into words. The door clicked behind them.
I couldn’t say good-bye to her. She’d been my protector, my friend, and another parent to me.
God, Anna…no…please no.
I buried my face in my hands. “I’m so sorry, Anna Banana. Please forgive me.”
She squeezed my hand. “This isn’t your fault, Flynn. You can’t blame yourself.”
Even floating over the scene, I could see my green eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep. She and I were a matching set; her baby blues were puffy with dark circles beneath them. Her hair swayed in a messy ponytail.
In the corner of the room stood a chair, not like the stationary ones we sat in. Anna’s chair. A wheelchair.
“Her accident was my fault. She wouldn’t be dead if it wasn’t for me,” I said.
“No,” she said, crawling into my lap. Her arms swung over my shoulders. “No one could have predicted the blood clot.”
“Cause and effect, Scarlett. The blood clot happened because she was a paraplegic stuck in a wheelchair. I put her there.”
That was why Anna was sitting in every dream. Why she needed me as much as she did.
“It was an accident. You were a five-year-old child who wanted to see Santa.”
“If she hadn’t pushed me out of the way, the car wouldn’t have hit her. She would never have been in that fucking wheelchair.”
“And you would have died.” She took my face in her hands. “Look at me. No brother in the
history of the world has loved his sister as much as you did. She knew that, too. Wherever she is now, I bet she’s happy and she’s dancing like the ballerina in her favorite snow globe. Don’t ask the what ifs. No one ever gets an answer to a what if. Just set her free, Flynn.”
I closed my eyes, wanting to drown out the painful memory. I took a deep breath, the panic of losing my sister seizing me. I rationalized that it didn’t happen this time. Anna was safe.
Why was she safe, though? And why wasn’t Scarlett?
The darkness settled over me, a dark cloud in a storm. I fought, fought, fought against it like a wave about to drag me down. I refused to let it…not until I found the answer.
It came to me.
The ghost. The one who left behind the lingering scent of cinnamon and citrus. It had kicked me in the gut when I started to dart across the street. The ghost wasn’t trying to hurt me.
It saved me. It saved Anna, too.
In undoing that moment, the ghost changed future events. One girl safe but another lost like some sick tradeoff.
I gave in to the darkness, my heart broken with grief for both of them—for what could have been and what never was.
I blinked open my eyes. Anna sat beside me in a chair. A regular chair—not a wheelchair. Although her bent posture was odd fit since she always sat straight and rigid. She looked as relieved as I felt to see her alive. The dread captured me a few seconds later with the certainty that Scarlett was dead.
Anna’s sagging shoulders stood straighter, the weight lifting off them, as she peered at me. She opened and closed her mouth, but it took a few tries before her voice reached my ears. “Can you hear me, Jason?” I nodded. “You almost drowned. Some fishermen were in the area and were able to save you. Thank God. But you were without oxygen for a while and need to recover. You’re in the hospital.”
“I know.” I sounded rough, like a three-pack-a-day chain smoker. Anna winced, but her smile didn’t waver. I tried to lift my arm, but it was dead weight, as if a two-ton anvil pinned it down.
