by Lori Wilde
Leigh looked at Emma, a questioning expression on her face. “I can understand why this is great. But I kind of thought there were some other wonderful things going on in your life right now, too. I’m interested in those things as well.”
Emma felt the warmth of a blush color her cheeks, but she refused to be embarrassed. “This is Honey, the land of no secrets.”
Leigh laughed and looked from Emma to Nathan then back to Emma. “So now that things with the program have worked out, you two think there’s any chance other things will work out?”
Emma found her gaze drifting to Nathan. “Things will turn out the way they’re supposed to turn out.”
Nathan gave her a small, resigned smile. “True.”
Leigh groaned. “Great. Just great. You two are going to give up without a fight. I cannot believe this.”
Turning his attention to his sister, Nathan asked, “And how are things with Jared? Did they work out?”
“Real cute, Nathan. You know the rodeo people have all left. But just because things didn’t work out for me doesn’t mean they can’t work out for the two of you.”
“Why do you care, Leigh?” Nathan asked.
“Because I like you guys. I want to see you happy. You’re really disappointing me.”
Nathan looked at Emma. “She’s disappointed because she likes that I’m too busy with my own life to butt into hers.”
Leigh pressed one hand against her chest. “Moi? Have ulterior motives? Not possible.”
Both Nathan and Emma laughed.
“It’s true,” Leigh protested but without a lot of conviction.
“I’m pretty sure you’ve had ulterior motives from the day you were born,” Nathan said.
Leigh shrugged, a smile on her face. “Could be. But you know, this time, I’m right. You two should consider putting up a little more fight, you know. Things don’t always have to turn out the way things are meant to, you know. Sometimes, you can force them to go your way. Like that old fax machine. Give it a good whack, and it will work.”
Emma wished Leigh were right. But what her friend wasn’t taking into consideration was all that either she or Nathan would have to give up in order to be together. Nathan would have to walk away from the town he loved and the people who depended on him.
And she would miss out on the chance to finally get to connect with her father. Not only that, but she would also lose a job that was perfect for her, one she’d spent years working toward.
Those weren’t exactly easy things to overcome.
When Emma glanced at Nathan, he was watching her. No doubt he was thinking the same thing she was. If there were a way, they both would probably find it. Because they cared about each other. A lot.
But was this love? And if it was, would it last? Was what they felt worth giving up everything for?
Tough, tough questions.
Leigh slapped her hands against the arms of her chair. “Well, I can tell you two have absolutely nothing to say to me, so I’m going to leave now. I haven’t bothered Trent in at least four hours, so it’s about time I go drive him crazy.”
She grinned at Nathan and Emma. “You two have fun now. And remember what I said. There are always options if you just know how to hunt them down. Don’t give up without a fight.”
Nathan glanced over at Emma. He was glad he’d talked her into riding with him to Dallas for the computer show. Over the past couple of days, he’d thought about what Leigh had said. Although he rarely took his sister’s advice, for obvious reasons, he couldn’t help thinking she was right this time. Maybe he and Emma should try a little harder to make their relationship work.
For starters, there were a lot of things they needed to discuss, and they were running out of time. This drive was the perfect opportunity.
“Hi,” she said, waking up from a nap. She gave him a sweet, sleepy smile, and he wrapped his hands tighter around the steering wheel.
Tell her, you coward.
“Did you say something?” she asked.
He certainly hoped not. He cleared his throat. “No. But there is something I want to tell you.”
“What? Is it about the program?”
“No.” He refocused his attention on the road, trying to decide whether this was a smart move or emotional suicide. Maybe he should just leave things as they were. He didn’t have to tell Emma how he felt. He could just leave it alone.
But he’d hate himself if he did that.
He glanced at her again. She raised one eyebrow. “Is this some big secret or something? What, are you really an alien from another planet and now that we’ve made love, I may give birth to a part human, part squid child?”
He laughed. “Uh, no. That wasn’t what I was going to say.”
She grinned. “Good, because there is no way I’m changing the diapers on a half-squid baby.”
Leave it to Emma to make him laugh. He looked back at the road. He’d never told a woman he was in love with her before and frankly wasn’t sure what was the right approach.
“Yes? Nathan, you’re killing me with the suspense. At least tell me if this is a good thing or a bad thing.”
“A good thing. At least, I think so.”
A semi-truck was passing him, so he waited until it went by before continuing.
She reached over and patted his leg. “Then tell me. This isn’t like you to act so shy.”
That got him. “I’m not being shy.”
“Okay, then coy.”
“Hey, I’m a guy. I’m never coy,” he maintained.
“Oops. Sorry. Didn’t mean to offend you. So okay, what is it? Just blurt it out in a manly fashion.”
He frowned. “Emma, I’m in…what I mean is that I’m...”
Man, why was this so difficult to say?
“Nathan, what in the world are you trying to say?”
He drew in a deep breath, then went for broke.
“I love you.”
He wasn’t sure what response he expected from her, but it sure wasn’t the absolute silence that greeted him. Complete, absolute silence.
Way to go, Barrett. Now she’ll probably never talk to you again. Guaranteed way to send the lady running for the hills.
“I’m not expecting anything of you, Emma,” he assured her. “I know you have plans, and I know you can’t stay in Honey. I just wanted to let you know how I feel about you.”
He heard her draw in a shaky breath. “I’m not sure what to say,” she admitted.
Although he hadn’t expected her to say she also loved him, it still smarted when she didn’t reciprocate his feelings.
He cleared his throat. “I just wanted you to know. You don’t need to say anything.”
And she didn’t. Say anything. She didn’t say she loved him. She didn’t say she liked him. Heck, at this point, he would have settled for a “Can’t we just be friends?” remark.
But Emma took him at his word.
She didn’t say a thing. Not one damn thing.
Not a good sign at all.
“Can you believe this crowd?” Tim said to Emma as they stood at the Barrett Software booth watching Nathan do yet another demo of Simplify.
“It’s amazing. He’s already been interviewed by a couple of newspapers and three magazines,” Emma said, thrilled the product was doing so well. “The voice control component is a big hit.”
“This will make Barrett Software huge,” Tim said.
Emma agreed. The booth had been constantly surrounded over the past two days, and even now, Nathan was still running a demo of the product to a large group of interested buyers. She was thrilled for him and for everyone else at Barrett Software.
She grabbed a stack of the info cards and along with Tim, handed them out to the crowd. Once she was done, she indulged herself and watched Nathan for a few minutes. She had to admit, he was a charmer. Everyone loved him.
Of course, it helped that Simplify worked flawlessly. But in a swamped place like this, the attendees had a couple o
f hundred different displays they could go to, but huge groups stopped at their booth because Nathan pulled them in. She couldn’t help noticing that a lot of the visitors to their booth were female. Not that she could blame them. He was smart. He was witty. He was handsome. He was wonderful. And...
And she loved him. The realization hit her like a tidal wave. Wow. As she stood there, watching him, Emma drew in a shaky breath. She really was in love with Nathan. Hopelessly, stupidly, blindly in love with a man who was all wrong for her.
Why hadn’t she done something easy, like fall for a guy who lived on Mars? Because when it came right down to it, Honey was almost as far away from the life she planned on building in Massachusetts.
How had she let this happen? What was she going to do now?
“This is going great,” Nathan said after he finished the presentation.
Emma nodded. “Yes. Great.”
He leaned closer and inspected her face. “I know I ask this a lot, but are you okay?”
With effort, Emma forced herself to smile. “Yes. I’m fine.”
“Are you tired?”
“A little.” She kept staring at him, stunned by her own feelings. She loved him. Really, truly, deeply loved him. The emotion was so intense and startling that she almost blurted it out to him in the middle of the demo booth.
Good grief.
Nathan glanced around. “Tim and the others can handle the crowds for a while. Why don’t we take a break? I’ll buy you a soda.”
She hesitated. Was being alone with Nathan right now a good idea?
He leaned closer and murmured, “I’ll flirt with you.”
Unable to stop herself, she smiled. “Oh, okay.”
As Emma followed him to the small cafe and got a soda, she debated whether she should tell him how she felt. But the more she thought about not telling him, the more she mentally kicked herself for being a wimp. Nathan had been honest with her. She needed to be honest in return.
Drat!
But was being a coward really such a bad thing? Lots of famous people had been cowards. Plus, what good would come from him knowing? In fact, he might think that since they both loved each other that she was willing to give up her dreams to stay with him, which wouldn’t happen. So why tell him?
“Do you want to sit in here or outside?” Nathan asked.
She sighed. She couldn’t chicken out, no matter how tempting the idea might be. The man deserved to know he was loved in return.
But why did it seem as if doing the right thing was never easy? You’d think just once in a while, life would give you a break. But she wasn’t getting one today, that was for sure.
She glanced around the cramped room. “Let’s go outside.”
“It’s hot out there,” he said.
Emma figured they wouldn’t be out there long. How much time did it take to tell someone you loved them but wanted to stop seeing them? Five minutes? Ten?
Ought to go pretty quickly.
“Okay.” Nathan carried the sodas and waited for Emma to precede him. When she walked outside, a blast of hot air hit her. Figured. She literally would be in a hot seat this afternoon.
Heading to the table in the farthest corner, Emma sat and took her soda from Nathan.
Nathan glanced around, then teased, “If you’d picked a table any farther away, we’d be back home in Honey.”
Nodding, Emma fumbled in her pocket and pulled out an antacid.
“Oh, no. Something’s wrong,” Nathan said, his attitude now serious. “What happened?”
Emma chewed the chalky tablet and debated how to word this conversation. She needed to phrase her confession delicately. She needed to draw on her skills as an English major to handle this well. “Nathan, we need to talk.”
“That doesn’t sound good. Not good at all. Can I have one of those antacids?” he asked.
Emma smiled. “I think you’ll be fine.”
“I’m not so sure. You look pretty serious.” He took a sip of his soda, then said, “Okay. I’m set. What’s wrong?”
“You’re not facing a firing squad.”
“Feels that way,” he said, his gaze locked with hers.
Yes, it did. Especially since as much as she loved Nathan, after she told him about her feelings, she also planned to tell him what he didn’t want to hear. She had to tell him that as soon as they got back to Honey, she planned on packing and returning to Austin.
Love or no love, they didn’t have a future together, and it would be better in the long run if they stopped seeing each other right now. She needed to end this quickly, efficiently. Her heart was going to break, sure. But she needed to put Nathan and Honey, Texas, behind her if she was ever going to get on with her life.
Of course, she didn’t need a crystal ball to know Nathan wasn’t going to like that she was leaving. But he had to know. She couldn’t let him think they were going to live happily ever after.
She cleared her throat. He sat watching her closely. “Um, Nathan, do you remember how on the drive here you told me you love me?”
He pretended to consider her question, but there was a definite twinkle in his eyes. “Let me think. We talked about the weather. We talked about BizExpo and Simplify. But love? Did we discuss love? Let me think for a second.”
She sighed and drummed her fingers on the table. “You know very well what you told me on the drive. You said you loved me.”
He gave her a gentle smile, but she could tell he was expecting more from this conversation than she was going to deliver. “Okay, yes. I remember I told you I love you. I also remember you didn’t say anything back. Not one single word.”
“Well, I’m saying something now. Nathan Barrett, I love you, too.”
10
Anxiously, Emma waited for his reaction. Thankfully, he grinned and indicated the nearby crowd.
“You picked a heck of a time to tell me,” he said. “But I’m very happy to hear you feel that way. I think the first thing we should do is—”
“No.”
He raised one eyebrow. “No?”
“That’s right. No.”
Before he could misunderstand, Emma added, “We can’t have a life together. And even though I love you, I believe we should stop seeing each other.”
She’d obviously stunned him. He leaned forward and said, “That wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
“I know. But just because we love each other doesn’t mean we’re meant to be together. We want different things. Have different plans.”
Nathan leaned back in his chair. “You have to give me a minute here. The woman I love just told me she loves me, too. I need to enjoy that for a while.”
Emma sighed. “Nathan, I think we should—”
He held up one hand. “Wait. I’m not through enjoying it yet.”
Despite the seriousness of the topic, Emma laughed. “You nut.”
He grinned. “Emma, I know what you’re going to say, but I still can’t help being thrilled that you love me, too. Even if we both want different things out of life. And even if we can never make this work, I’m blown away that you love me.”
Before she could answer, he stood and circled to her side of the table. Then he kissed her, long and deep. “I’ve never been in love before. It’s an amazing feeling.”
“Yes, it is.” Emma patted the side of his face. “And you’re an amazing man. But—”
Nathan chuckled and leaned away from her. “Nope. No buts. Not yet. Let’s enjoy the being in love part for a while.”
“But after we get home, I need to pack up and head to Austin,” she said. “It doesn’t matter that we love each other.”
Nathan walked over and sat back down. “Oh, yes, it does. It matters very much.”
“You know what I mean. What difference does it make if we love each other? We can’t make this relationship work.”
For the longest time, Nathan simply looked at her. Happiness practically radiated off him. Finally, he said, “I know we can’t
last forever. But we love each other. That has to count for something.”
She’d expected this discussion to be difficult. She just hadn’t planned on impossible. “We both want different things out of life.”
“Couldn’t we change what we want? I vote that we develop new plans,” he said. “I vote that we don’t throw away what we feel for each other.”
Emma twisted her hands in her lap, wondering what was the best way to make him understand.
“Nathan, although I love you, I can’t tear my life apart. For all either one of us knows, this love we feel won’t even last. It could be simply really strong lust.”
“It will last,” he said firmly. “It isn’t just lust.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do. You need to have faith in us.”
She sighed and fought back the urge to cry. Crying wouldn’t help anything. Instead, she tried to formulate another approach.
“Okay, let’s say we decide to be together. Which one of us gives up everything? Do you leave Barrett Software? And if you do, what happens to Honey? Or do I miss out on the chance to finally get to know my father, something both he and I have been looking forward to for a long, long time? So which should it be, Nathan? You hurt the people of Honey or I hurt my father?”
“Emma, there’s got to be a way,” he muttered.
“I don’t know what it would be.”
He looked determined. “I’ll think of something. Solving problems is one of my best talents. I’ll solve this one, too.”
She wanted to believe him. Oh boy, she wanted to believe him. But she sure didn’t see how to make this work. Still, she couldn’t help holding on to the glimmer of hope he offered.
“I guess we’d better get back to the booth,” she said, standing.
Nathan stood as well. “I will solve this,” he said. She doubted it. But she gave him a small smile. Then together, they headed back to the booth in silence, each of them lost in their own thoughts, but both of them wishing life could be different.
Emma gathered the last of her clothes and struggled to fit them into her one remaining suitcase. Why was it that clothes that came out of a suitcase never seemed to fit back in it right? She hadn’t bought anything while in Honey. No I Survived Honey T-shirts. No cowboy clothes at the rodeo. So why wouldn’t the stupid things fit?
