by Sequaia
“Hello.”
“Aúrea. Where are you? Are you okay? Why didn’t you text or pick up for me?” He was worried. The way he babbled, sounding out of breath, it was apparent. His tone was also why I didn’t want to answer the phone, why I didn’t want to speak with him. But my heart, which controlled my finger hitting answer, had a mind of its own.
“I’m fine, Prentice. Just needed to get settled.”
“Your bus made it almost an hour ago. You were supposed to call me as soon as you got there.”
“Prentice,” I exhaled, needing a moment. I understood him being worried, but it was I who took such an enormous leap, so his tone and questioning I didn’t need right now.
“I’m sorry. This shit is hard, A.”
“I know. But if we focus on our goals and what we want, it’ll get easier.”
“How, when what I want is you? I should’ve never let you go.” His voice cracked. And he sniffled. And I felt my heart shatter.
“I love you, Prentice. You’re one of the only people in this world who I love. We did not make a wrong decision with me being here and you being there regardless of whether you believe it. I need you to let me get settled. Trust that I’ll be okay. I need to focus, and that’s going to be difficult if you keep making me feel guilty.”
Silence enveloped us. Surprisingly, he didn’t have an immediate comeback. This was fine with me because it gave me the courage I needed to say goodbye again, but this time for the long haul. There would be no calls tomorrow or the next day or the day after that. We would have to learn to live without each other.
“I just want you to be okay and to know that you’re okay until I’m there with you, at least.”
“I am, and I will be.”
“I love you, Aúrea.”
“I love you too, Prentice. We’ll talk again, okay?”
It was a promise . . . and a lie. The possibility that we’d meet again would always be an option. Hopefully, the stars aligned with me. Only saying goodbye would be for now and not forever.
“All right. Good night.” He didn’t wait for me to reply before ending the call, and I wiped the lone tear that fell from my eye while doing my best to ignore the aching in my chest. This was really the beginning of my new life.
I lied. Well, because it wasn’t intentional, and maybe it wasn’t a lie. Still, I didn’t do what I said I’d do. So I guess it does boil down to me being a liar.
After my first night here at the motel, I could not find the courage to leave. Fear had reared its ugly little head and left me completely frozen. Mildly frozen. I left the room for a minimum of six minutes to ask for an extended stay and pay for the time extension requested. Today was day two. It was 12:09 a.m., making it another day of me being in this hotel and giving me only a few hours to decide if I would be leaving or paying for another night. As I stared at the time, I sighed. It was not a sigh of disappointment, nor was it a sigh of relief. I wasn’t sure how to describe it because the only thing that ran through my mind as I pushed out my breath was what could have been or would have been happening at this time had I been back home. What I was sure of was that I was grateful, even in the midst of fear.
“Aúrea, you didn’t come this far only to come this far.” I reminded myself out loud as if I were advising a girl across from me because she needed not only to hear it but feel it too. And I did. I felt every word finally getting me to relax. I shut my eyes, praying for a sign and some sort of direction. I asked and prayed or prayed and asked until sleep finally came over me.
Yelling and the sounds of glass crashing against something woke me up. I should have been used to the chaotic sounds given where I was, but there was no such luck. People yelling and things breaking, and even some gunfire once or twice still had me shook. Even with the raggedy chair against the room door, I knew my safety was questionable.
“Really?” I grumbled after my stomach had done what felt like a triple somersault, double back spring, and a toe touch—if that’s how someone describes gymnastic moves.
Slowly, I removed the blanket and threw my legs off the bed, inching toward the window to see what was going on outside and grab my bag to see what snacks I had left. My small food supply was why I didn’t need to leave this room, other than to pay for the additional night. I had chips, a cup of noodles, salami, water, and a couple of sodas to hold me over.
As I peeped from behind the brownish curtain, a few people were lingering in front of the hotel, prostitutes and drug addicts, from what I could tell. The sun hadn’t fully risen yet, so it was still business for them, as usual. I noticed at the hours the sun flourished, not too much commotion happened around here. Homeless people still lingered, but the pimps and hoes were harder to spot. I assumed that they either got to sleep in or the tricks went straight to the rooms. My stomach growled again, reminding me that food was my second reason for getting up.
Picking up my bag before sitting back on the bed, the weight of it, or lack thereof, let me know I was about to be majorly disappointed. There was no food left, not even a crumb from a chip. And with the way my appetite was set up on top of me being bored, it wasn’t surprising that I’d eaten everything. My dilemma now consisted of what I was going to do next. Ordering in was out of the question, as I was sure no one delivered here, and it would bring attention to my room, which I didn’t want. Besides, it was early, 6:03 a.m., to be specific. Grabbing my phone, I Googled food places near me and found a McDonald’s less than a four-minute walk from here.
“You can do this.” My left leg shook rapidly while I tried convincing myself to make the walk right as my stomach growled again, and it was also the moment the lightbulb went off in my head. Last night, a few hours ago, actually, I asked for a sign, a push. This had to be it. God knew hunger would always move me. If I could take this walk to McDonald’s, then heading back to the bus station for a cab or Uber wouldn’t be so hard. My eyes scanned the room, making sure there wasn’t anything too valuable in the open. Positive there wasn’t, I packed up the few things there before going into the bathroom to handle my hygiene. Once I completed that, I sat back on the bed, removed my money from my sock, taking only a twenty-dollar bill before putting the rest back. Less than four minutes was all the walk would take, but there was no telling how long I’d be inside waiting. So an executive decision had to be made.
Did I lug all my things or leave them? Taking them all would slow me down, and I couldn’t have that. I would take whatever fit in my backpack and hide the rest. Two minutes later, I was out of my room, walking the street, looking like I stole something, or someone was after me. The fear in my body and the swift pace of my feet got me to my destination in two minutes. No one bothered me, thankfully, nor was there anyone around when I left my room. To be safe, I headed into the office first, so I’d appear to be checking out rather than give the idea that I only stepped out. I know I was doing extra and going through many emotions, but this was all new to me. Besides, being alone made me care more about being cautious than sorry.
“Hi, can I get three sausage McMuffins with no eggs, three hash browns, and a large orange juice?” I blurted breathlessly. Power walking took more out of me than expected.
“Anything else?”
I looked away from the cashier, who was pretty in a nerdy way. She was brown, wearing oval-shaped glasses, with a few moles on the right side of her face near her lips.
“That’s it.”
“Okay, your total is $9.58.” She smiled, and I did the same, handed her my twenty-dollar bill and waited for my change.
I took a seat at one of the tables, anxiously waiting for my food due to hunger and worry about the few things of mine left in my room. Removing my phone from my jacket pocket, I checked my social media. Prentice’s last post said he was heartbroken, and there was no doubt in my mind he felt that way because of me. We hadn’t spoken since the night I asked him to give me space. Not talking daily was not our norm; twenty-four hours of no communication was unheard of. Yet, here
we were.
“Welp, that’s the end of that,” I mumbled as I logged off and put my phone back into my pocket, promising not to check his or my social media for a while. I turned around in my seat, facing back toward the register just as some nicely dressed girl walked in. She couldn’t have been from around here as she looked and dressed like someone I’d see on Hollywood Boulevard. Her style was fresh, a mixture of something I’d probably throw together but done so much better. She had on a pair of black ankle boots, blue jean shorts with black G stockings underneath. I’m assuming the G stood for Gucci, but I couldn’t be sure since I’ve never seen a pair up close. Her shirt was hot pink, and her hair was laid, not a strand out of place.
“Hey, girl.” She turned to me with a large smile and energetic wave.
“H-hey.” Embarrassed, I shrunk in my seat, providing a wave where I barely extended my arm. Oddly, she seemed to take that as an invitation to join me.
“I’m Nijah.”
“Aúrea.”
“Ohh, that’s a pretty name. So you’re not from around here, are you?”
“Number 97.”
Saved by the bell. “That’s me.” I stood and headed to grab my food. I intended to run for the exit, but Nijah’s smile and waving me back over stopped me.
“Um, you need something?” I asked, unsure of why she’d call me back over.
“No, girl, just don’t want to eat alone. Wait right here,” she ordered, standing to grab her food, then taking the seat across from me again.
“So, Aúrea, where are you from?” she was straightforward. Nijah didn’t know me from a can of paint, and yet, she sat so easily in my presence, starting a conversation as if we’d be friends.
“I’m from Denver, Colorado.”
“Wow, that’s far from here. What made you come all this way?”
“A fresh start.”
“I’ve been there. Starting fresh can be gratifying. So where you staying? You have family or something out here?”
As suspect as her questions were, I felt at ease being open. Nothing about her rubbed me the wrong way.
“The motel up the street until I figure out what to do next. No family here, only me.”
“Oh no, girl, you have to have someone here. These streets will eat you up and throw you away, especially in this neighborhood. I hardly ever come to this side of town, but my ass was hungry, so it was worth the risk. L.A. traffic was not gonna have me dying in my car from starvation. I do not play about my food.”
I chuckled because what were the odds of running into a complete stranger who took food as seriously as me?
“I’m not gonna be in this area long.”
“You sure aren’t because you’re coming with me.”
“Excuse me?”
“Listen, I have a whole room at my place and no man, so there’s no reason you should deny my offer.”
“You don’t even know me. I don’t know you.”
“I know enough. You also don’t give off serial-killer vibes. You remind me of my younger cousin who lives in Texas, but that’s my baby. Anyway, I insist you come and occupy the room rather than some weirdo found on Craigslist that I’ll have to kick out in three months.”
“I don’t have a job. I can’t pay to sleep in your spare room.”
“You will be able to. So what do you say?”
I stared at Nijah, really doing my best to look through her. I needed to see what was beyond her eyes.
Von’s eyes always looked like staring down a black hole. There was never any emotion. Patricia’s eyes, my foster mother, always looked tired, and Prentice’s were always full of love. If I could only see a glimpse in Nijah’s eyes of what I saw in his, my decision would be easy. I’d also know my prayers had been answered. So I stared. Nijah stared back at me, full of patience, some confusion mixed in, but patience, nonetheless.
“I’ll go. I still have stuff in my room at the hotel.”
“That’s fine. Ooh, I’m excited. This is going to be so much fun.” She practically jumped out of her seat, bouncing with excitement, making me chuckle.
6
Aúrea
A knock on the door caused me to put down the notebook I had been writing my list of goals in before looking toward the door as the knob twisted, and Nijah let herself in. This was nothing new. I’d been living with her going on a year, and since day one, she’d knock once, then walk right on in. Did it annoy me? Sometimes, because she didn’t care if I was dressed or not. If she had something to say to me, she was going to walk in here and say it.
This was also her home, and I had yet to pay any real rent, so I could not complain. Now, after I paid like I was staying, I would initiate a talk about a little extra privacy. Outside of her lack of waiting for me to yell, “Come in,” Nijah was heaven-sent. She was truly the big sister I wished I had growing up. She listened to me, gave me advice, supported me, and most importantly, didn’t judge me when I told her my real reason for leaving home. It took a lot of convincing to keep her from booking a flight to Denver to kill Von herself. Telling her my story had been a gift and a curse. A gift because it brought us closer, and a curse because she became overprotective—overbearing and all; yet, I thanked God for her every day as I don’t know where I’d be without her.
“What are you in here doing?” she asked as she plopped down on the bed next to me.
“I was writing out the things I wanted to accomplish this year.”
“Yes, then I walked in here at the right time,” she squealed, facing me as she crossed her legs Indian style. Nijah’s smile could brighten any room, and I often told her that she was made for stardom. She was gorgeous, her personality was everything, and she had a heart of gold. Modeling and acting weren’t her things, as she’d often remind me whenever I put the bug in her ear.
“I haven’t finished writing them down.”
“That’s fine because I didn’t plan to ask. I am in here about your original goal. You’ve been here for months, and besides the times I make you leave the house, you don’t go anywhere. Since your birthday, we haven’t had any real fun, nor have you started this modeling and acting journey that you came here for. You are legal in age now. You’ve learned the city pretty well, so now, it’s time to kick ass.”
She gave me this daring look like she knew I would protest or come up with some sort of excuse. To Nijah, that’s what I’ve been doing . . . procrastinating and coming up with more reasons than a little bit as to why I hadn’t gone out to pursue my career as an actress yet. What she saw as my being in my own way, I found my reasons to be valid. I had no job, no money, which meant no way of getting the things I needed to start. This is why getting a job was at the top of my list.
“Nahji,” I whined affectionately, calling her the nickname I gave her. It also usually worked in my favor when I was ready for her to get off my back.
“Don’t ‘Nahji’ me. It’s not going to work this time, especially because I’ve already spent my money on this photoshoot you have in two hours.”
“You didn’t.” Of course, she did. That was who she was, at least to me.
“I did. Look at it as a late birthday present. Besides, it wasn’t as expensive as you think. You’re doing headshots. The session is only for an hour, and whatever you get in the hour is what you leave with, so you better be ready to slay the fuck out of the shoot.”
“I have nothing to wear, my hair looks crazy, and makeup isn’t my thing.”
“Do you want to take the pictures or not?”
“You know I do.”
“Then get off this bed. Put on that cute dress you wore for your birthday, and I have your hair and makeup covered.”
“Thank you, Nahji.” I wrapped my arms around her neck, squeezing her as tightly as I could. “I’m going to pay you back.”
“It’s a gift, remember? But I will take a nice cashier’s check when you become rich and famous,” she laughed, hugging me back just as tightly.
“You got it.” Removing m
y arms from Nijah’s neck, I rushed over to my closet and pulled the cute black midi dress I wore on my birthday. I only wore it once, so it was still in top shape.
After laying it on my bed, I rushed to take a shower, making sure not to wet my hair. Tears of pure gratitude fell as I lathered up with my Caress body soap. Nijah had given me the key. Now it was up to me to open the door. I was going to slay the fuck out of this photoshoot, thankful that she’ll be right there to root me on. A tap on the door pulled me from my thoughts as I braced myself for the invasion immediately to come.
“You do not have time for one of your hour-long showers, homegirl. Your hair and makeup are going to take a nice chunk of time, honey.”
“I’m coming, Mom.”
“Girl, bye.” She slammed the door as my laughter carried behind her. She only needed to tell me once to haul ass, so I rinsed and exited, not even a full minute behind her. After drying off, I put on my underwear and robe, then met Nijah in her bedroom.
“So, I was thinking of a soft look to start, and if we have time, I’ll add a bolder lip and eye in the middle of the shoot.”
“That works. What about my hair?”
“Gonna flat iron it and give you a nice middle part. The point is to show off your beautiful face, so we’ll pull it behind your ears to start, then change it up toward the end. I’ve been watching a ton of YouTube videos. I’m practically an expert on how to direct a shoot. You’re going to have flawless photos.”
It took her no time to complete my hair and makeup. Getting ready was a two-hour job in itself for Nijah, so to have me ready and flawless, might I add in less than an hour, was pure magic. The studio where my photos were being taken wasn’t too far from where we lived, leaving us with a few minutes to spare when we arrived.
“I thought I was only shooting one of you—David, here.” A slim yet tall man dressed in black slacks and a black button shirt spoke, approaching us. Once he was in arm’s reach, he first extended his hand to me, then Nijah.
