by K. J. Emrick
After that, Senior Sergeant Angus Cutter, murderer and dirty cop, didn’t put up much of a fight.
Kevin stood him up and took out the gun from Cutter’s duty belt. He tucked it into the back of his pants, and then he marched his arrestee to the office door. As they walked by me, my son gave me a wink.
“Merry Christmas, Mom.”
I can’t remember ever being so proud of him.
Chapter Ten
Rosie’s Christmas buffet lunch was the best I’ve had in a very long time.
The turkey had a rosemary glaze and a golden skin. The ham was seasoned and cooked to perfection. There was potatoes and yams and shrimp and a whole table of other foods. A separate dessert table had steamed pudding and rice pudding and half a dozen different pies. It took all morning to bake. It was a matter of an hour to devour most of it.
It was the day after Cutter’s arrest, and everyone was in a festive mood. Christmas morning had come at last. Me and Rosie served the food out, there in our dining room. We waited on everyone. Our staff, their families, and the three guests we still had in the Inn for Christmas. It made me wonder where Mister Brewster spent the holiday. Maybe I’d ask him when he came back. I had no doubt he’d come back. He always did.
Rosie’s husband, Josh, helped us, and so did Kevin and his Ellie, and the five of us didn’t sit down to eat until everyone else had been served first. There was still plenty left for us, but I had my eye on a piece of German chocolate cake for my dessert, and God help anyone who got between me and that cake!
I really needed chocolate. After the week I’d just been through, that was what I needed.
I’d gotten exactly what I wanted for Christmas. I really should be happier about it. I’d seen Angus Cutter, Senior Sergeant no more, dragged out of his office in handcuffs and turned over to the waiting Federal Police officers outside the station. A small crowd had gathered already, kept outside where Cutter couldn’t see them waiting to witness his fall. James was there, too, taking pictures and writing notes for what was sure to be a blow-out article when it was printed. The Lakeshore Times was bound to see a big bump in its circulation now.
It was the big talk at the tables while we ate our dinner, too. After we said grace, I gave my little speech about how much I appreciated my staff and my people and how their next check would reflect their bonus. Everyone cheered and clapped, and then as we settled down again the gossip began to fly.
A lot of rumors were zinging all about town. The Federal Police were going through all of Cutter's cases right now and there was talk of a complete overhaul to the police department. I imagined it depended upon what the Feddies found out during their investigation as to what happened to the remaining officers, of which there were very few left. We could end up with a whole new team of police officers when the Feds were finished and that wouldn't be a bad thing as far as I was concerned.
Nobody knew for sure, but that didn’t keep them from guessing. Whichever way it went; I’d gotten exactly what I wanted.
At least, I thought that was what I wanted.
I thought that before my husband’s ghost had shown up, smiling and loving and asking me to remember him. I thought that before I’d somehow managed to lose what James and I had between us. I mean, he hadn’t actually gone and said it out loud, but it was obvious that he was losing his interest. Or maybe that was me. I hadn’t even had time to sit down and figure it out. Between solving a murder, and being arrested and then unarrested, and managing the ghosts in the Inn, and being haunted by my own husband, I’d had to put James on the back burner.
Which is definitely not the place to put a man who wants to love you.
And to think, all of this started when Rosie had exploded the chickens.
I mentioned that to her, as we sat at the table together eating our turkey and fixings. She laughed until her face turned red, Josh laughing along with her, and then we were all laughing about the art of exploding chickens.
Which was when Rosie knocked her glass of milk over and dumped it across her plate of food.
Still laughing, me and her grabbed napkins from everywhere to sop the mess. “Oh, don’t even worry about it, Dell,” Rosie told me. “I wasn’t very hungry anyway. Don’t know what my issue is. I’ve been having the strangest cravings. I’ll want to eat nothing but pickles one day, and then donuts the next, and then just the smell of food turns me off. I swear, if I didn’t know any better...”
Her eyes got wider.
I think mine did, too.
Now I thought back on all the times recently when Rosie had seemed more clumsy than usual. Like she was a teenager just getting used to the changes in her body. Well, in a way, her body was changing. Her awkward behavior, her absent mindedness, the changes in her appetite. I should have figured it out sooner. I’d been through something similar myself a couple of times.
Rosie and Josh had been trying to get pregnant for a long time now.
Guess Rosie was going to get exactly what she wanted for Christmas, too.
She turned to Josh and leaned in and whispered in his ear. The look that came over his face expressed everything he couldn’t put into words. They jumped up and hugged each other, knocking over their plates and their chairs and their glasses in the process. Rosie was a big girl and Josh a big guy in the best of circumstances. The space between tables here wasn’t really wide enough for them to have a celebration dance.
It didn’t matter. Let them crash the whole room. I was too happy for them to care.
I noticed everyone was staring, and the whole room had gone quiet. Well. If Josh was speechless, guess I was going to have to do the talking for them.
Standing up on the seat of my chair, carefully sliding my plate away from Rosie and closer to Kevin, I cleared my throat, and raised my glass of sparkling cider. “Everyone, I’d like to propose a toast. To Rosie, and to Josh. To their first baby!”
After a moment for everyone to get over their surprise, the room erupted in cheers.
Our friends took their time finishing their coffees and drinks afterward. Living in a small town where you could walk everywhere, some of our friends took maybe a few more drinks than they should have. No one minded. Joy flowed with beer and wine and harder stuff, and everyone had a good time. Eventually, the only ones left were me and Kevin and Ellie. Rosie and Josh left earlier, and from the way they were holding hands I had to believe they were going off to find a little joy of their own.
One of the last people to leave was Reverend Jonas Albright. He took both of my hands in his, and told me that God must have truly blessed me. All these people who truly cared about me, he said, truly showed the love of God in my life. All the trouble, all the strife, demonstrated a real strength of character and a heart bigger than most.
Those were his words. I thanked him quietly, and promised myself that I really would try to start attending services at his little church.
Then it was just me and my son, and his girlfriend Ellie. She’s a smart woman, she is. After some small talk she leaned over and kissed Kevin behind his ear and quietly excused herself. I saw him shiver when she kissed him. Good. Every man should have that reaction with the woman he loves.
It reminded me of what it had been like to live with Richard. Memories overwhelmed me for a moment, and I sat there, thinking of Richard and me and how happy we used to be.
Remember me.
I brought my eyes up in time to see Richard, standing out past the dining room, in the lobby. He was over by the wall we had so much trouble with, the multicolored lights of his Christmas tree flashing through his shadowy form. He was just standing there, smiling.
Then he faded back into the wall, and he was gone once more.
“You miss him,” Kevin said to me, “don’t you?”
“Who?” I asked.
“Dad.”
Right. I knew who he meant. My son knows me really well.
He smiled at me behind his coffee cup. “You get this look on your face whenever you thi
nk about him. It’s all right, Mom. You’re allowed to still love him.”
I reached out across the tablecloth, and he held my hand. “I miss him, Kevin. I can’t understand why he left us. I can’t ever forgive him for it, either, but I miss him.” This was my opening. My chance to tell him that I knew his father was dead, even if I wasn’t sure how I was going to explain it. “Um. Do you ever miss him?”
He squeezed my hand, then sat back, crossing his arms and pursing his lips in thought. “That’s a beaut of a question, now ain’t it? He left us. No reason, no rhyme, just gone. Do I miss him?”
I waited on him, knowing he usually tried his hardest not to even think about these things. It was a long time before his eyes focused on me again and he nodded.
“Tell ya the truth, Mom, yes. I miss him too. I lived with hating him for a long time. I don’t think I hate him anymore. I remember him, and I have to admit... I still love the man.” With a big sigh, he said words that I would never forget. “I miss him, too.”
An old ache in my heart eased up. Maybe just a little, but still. I decided that was a good place to leave everything for now. Until I knew more. There were so many questions left unanswered and Richard’s ghost wasn’t hanging around long enough for me to ask him anything. Even if I did ask, what sorts of answers would I get? I might not even want to know.
For now, we could remember Richard without feeling guilty over it. We remembered him, and what was more, we remembered him with love. That was what he wanted, after all.
From the table, Kevin picked up the Christmas cracker from his place setting. I’d picked them out myself and ordered them special for today. The two connected cylinders were wrapped up in shiny foil with holly berries printed on both sides, between the central twist and the grips.
He offered me the other end of the cracker. “Care to have a go?”
“Don’t you want to do that with Ellie?”
His little smile turned crooked, highlighting the freckles he’d inherited from me. “Ellie and me have our own way of celebrating Christmas.”
“Oh?” I teased. “You finally gonna propose to her?”
His eyes didn’t quite meet mine, and I could tell I’d just accidentally guessed a secret.
I could barely contain my excitement. “Kevin, why didn’t you tell me! Oh, kiddo, this is wonderful. I couldn’t be happier for you.”
“Shh,” he cautioned, looking out to the front room of the Inn like he expected to find Ellie standing there eavesdropping. “I didn’t tell you about it because I figured the girl I’m proposing to should probably be the first one to hear it. So... yeah. I figured I’d take her out for a walk tonight around sunset, down by the lakes, and propose there. I’m just worried, ya know?”
Taking hold of my end of the cracker, I pinched the fingers of my other hand over my lips and mimed throwing away a key. “Your secret’s safe with me, Kevin. And, for what it’s worth, I don’t think you’ve got a thing to worry about. Now pull.”
He did, and I did, and the cracker broke on his side with a loud pop!
Inside was a little card with a poem in loopy cursive writing. He showed it to me when I asked him what it said.
Hope for everything,
Want for nothing,
And when the music plays, remember:
Be the first to dance and sing.
“Good advice,” I agreed. “Now, go on. I’ve a massive cleanup to do here and you have a pretty young woman waiting on you.”
“I could help with this...” he started to offer.
“No. Never keep a woman waiting.” I chuckled. “That should’ve been the last line in that poem.”
“All right.” He stood and we hugged, and then my son went off to his room upstairs.
I wished him luck, but I figured he didn’t need it. The way those two went on with each other it was like they were married already. They’d both have to be fools not to take the next step.
Which left me alone with a room full of dirty dishes and half-eaten deserts to take care of. I got to it, knowing it wouldn’t take that long if I started now, even if I was going to leave the worst of the dishes for the kitchen staff to clean up tomorrow. I began humming Christmas songs to myself as I worked. Ones I remembered from when I was a child. Ones me and Richard used to sing with Kevin and his sister.
I was in the middle of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, and carrying a big plastic bowl with whipped potato residue around the rim to the kitchen, when James came in.
He looked amazing, in a turquoise shirt tucked into black slacks and with a matching vest. Men dress up so nice. It just isn’t fair. He carried a black fedora in his hands, twisting the brim through his hands over and over.
“Did I miss the dinner?” he asked.
“Uh, I’m afraid so. I thought you weren’t coming. There’s some leftovers, if you want...”
But he shook his head. “No, thanks. I was joking. I’m actually on the way through to visit me parents up in Geeveston. Got the article done and submitted. The Editor says it might just win a Pulitzer.”
“Wow. That’s big.” I realized I still had the bowl in my hands. Hastily, I set it down on top of the dishes on the closest table, hoping that it wouldn’t all topple over and make me feel even more foolish than I already did. “James, I’m so glad you came. I know there’s been a lot going on and it seems like I haven’t been very attentive to, you know... us, but I didn’t mean for it to be like that.”
I needed somewhere to put my hands. I just wanted to wrap my arms around him and run my fingers through his hair but he was standing all the way over there and I was standing all the way over here and neither one of us was making any attempt to bridge the gap.
With a slow breath, he forced a smile. “Dell. I can’t stay. My parents are expecting me. I sort of thought maybe I’d have ya with me for company, but I know things’ve been crazy. Have ya heard the latest?”
My head was spinning. He wanted me to come with him? When had he asked me that? I racked my brain, and realized he’d never asked me. What was I supposed to do, learn to read minds? Or was he just assuming we’d be together this Christmas?
A sour taste developed in my mouth. That’s what I had wanted for us, too.
What was it he asked me? Oh, right. “Have I heard the latest on what?”
“Cutter,” he explained. “I’ve got a source in the Australian Federal Police. They say he’s been into a little bit of everything while he’s been Senior Sergeant here. Drug trafficking, money laundering, the whole nine yards. Explains why he’s been turning a blind eye to the ‘Ndrangheta activities here in town. If he’d ever started poking into their business, they would’ve poked him back. Harder.”
I blinked. That made sense. Cutter never had wanted to do his job. Not properly, anyhow. Only time he ever did the right thing was when his hand was forced. Then he acted all law and order, but I’d always known better.
“Turns out,” James continued, “that Cutter didn’t know anything at all about Bostwick being this part-time private detective. Wasn’t why he was here at all.”
“He thought Bostwick was here as a Federal officer, just like the rest of us” I said, knowing where this was going. “Bostwick lied about why he was in town, and Cutter bought it. In fact, I remember now. He kept telling everyone he was investigating the ‘Ndrangheta and their connections to the town.”
“I remember that too. Cutter didn’t want Bostwick poking around criminal activity here in town. Thought it might lead straight to his own door. Figured if he killed Bostwick and made it look like the man was still alive somewhere, it would stall the investigation. At least give him time to cover some of his tracks. Then Alfonse stumbled onto the scene.”
“And that was bad enough, but then I got involved.”
“Right. Had to get ya out of the way, he did, and that bogus arrest was his way of keeping ya quiet.”
“It didn’t work,” I grumbled.
“No.” He sounded almost proud when he
said it. “Never thought it would. You don’t roll over and take it. But there’s more. Seems Bruce Kay wasn’t the only one of his officers in on the take. At least two others, that they know of. It looks like the whole department will be fired and facing charges. Will be starting over from scratch. All new people. Word is, Kevin may be in line for the job.”
That took me by surprise. Not that my Kevin wouldn’t be great at that but as many times as I’d told him he should be running the place, neither of us ever really thought it would happen! “Are you sure? Does Kevin know yet?”
“I doubt he’s been told yet. They’re trying to keep it close to the vest, but I’ve got me ways of finding out.”
“Yes, you do.” I loved this man. Why did it have to be any more complicated than that? There was just so much to say. “James, listen...”
“Let me talk first,” he said. “I’ve dated women before who couldn’t commit to our relationship. It was never fair to either of us. You and me got something special started. I know you’re afraid, ‘cause of what your husband did to ya.”
If he only knew.
“I’ve been patient,” James said. “I really have. I’ve been patient, ‘cause I know you’re worth it. But I can’t just wait around forever. I’ve been there for ya whenever ya needed me, waited to see how far ya wanted things to go, when all I really want to do is know what it would be like for ya to love me. I just don’t know if ya want the same anymore.”
“James,” I exclaimed. “I do love you.”
“Do you?”
“Yes,” I said, but there was a hesitation to the word that he heard, even as I tried to hide it.
And that was it.
I watched James set his fedora on his head, and then he looked at me and nodded like I’d said more than I really had. “Tell ya what,” he said. “I’ll be up with me parents in Geeveston. I’ll call ya from there. If the timing is right, if ya really feel like it, come up and be with me for a few days. If not, well. Just understand that love doesn’t wait forever. Sometimes ya just have to dance when the music plays.”
