by D. Kelly
I’m unloading some alcohol under the bar when the door slams open.
“Shit,” Sasha hisses before I hear the deep timbre of Jordan’s voice.
“The bar isn’t open yet.”
“I’m looking for Allie.”
Holy shit, it’s Evan.
Sasha motions for me to stay low, but I’m not going to hide from him. As I rise from my position, Jordan has his arms crossed and is nailing Evan with a look that has him keeping his distance.
“What are you doing here, Evan?”
He rakes his gaze over me, and I step closer to Jordan.
“It’s time for you to come back home, Allie. This game is over.”
Sasha snorts and mutters, “This ought to be good.”
“This is my home. I’ve lived here for nearly a year, Evan, and you and I have spoken a grand total of three times since I left. What in the world could possibly make you think I’m coming back to D.C.?”
Jordan wraps his arm around my waist and tugs me to him. I’m thankful for his possessiveness because Evan is creeping me out.
“See, Allie, here’s the thing …”
The bar door slams open again, and my dad walks into the bar.
Fuck me.
“Allison, for the love of God, I can’t believe you made me track you down to this hell hole. We’re scheduled on a flight back to D.C. at seven a.m. and I expect you to be on it.”
Jordan and I exchange quizzical glances.
“Dad, why are the two of you here? Could one of you please explain this to me?”
Evan loosens his tie and looks like he’s about to vomit.
“Your wedding, of course. We’ve let you sow your oats and have made excuses for you long enough, but the ceremony is the first week of November and we cannot continue to allow you to put off your fittings or picking a bridal party. I’ll assume Sasha will be part of it, even if it goes against my better judgement.”
I take a step forward. J follows with his hand pressed against my lower back. I’m soaking in all the comfort I can from it as I try to figure out this shitshow.
“Are you guys high? Seriously, I haven’t spoken to either of you in eight months. No calls checking in on me from my adoring father. And no calls begging me back from Evan either. Well, not since the night after he called when I was in a bit of a compromising position.”
Jordan snickers, and I lean against him, letting him supply me with all the support I need. I’m directly in front of him, and as he wraps his arms around my waist, he drops a kiss to the top of my head. I couldn’t love him more right now if I tried.
“Evan, what does she mean you haven’t spoken?” My dad turns his attention to Evan, but I’m not finished. He can address me.
“Dad, just what I said. Do you see a ring on this finger? No, you don’t, and when you do—”
“It will be my ring, sir,” Jordan interrupts, “when Allie becomes my wife. Not Evan’s.”
I’m trying to keep my thoughts focused, but just a hint of becoming Jordan’s wife makes me incredibly happy.
“When I left D.C., I left my engagement ring behind. It’s always blown my mind that I was raised to be an independent woman. I’ve got the educational background and job history to rival most people my age. Yet, for some reason, you expect me to take a back seat to my partner. To accept that walking in on my fiancé fucking a different woman should be an acceptable practice.” I shake my head as my dad stares slack-jawed at me.
“It’s not okay, Dad, and if that’s how you treated Mom, it’s no wonder she left you before she died. I’m no longer a pawn in your game.”
Angry tears spring to my eyes. “This is my life. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I’m with a man who adores me and would never treat me the way Evan did.”
My dad turns to Evan. “Explain, Evan, now.”
Evan’s shoulders slump as he moves to the bar and takes a seat. “I thought it was a phase. We’d been together for six years. I didn’t think she’d actually leave me. At the gala, I announced our engagement.”
“You did what?!” I move to lunge at him, but J keeps his arms wrapped tightly around me.
“Not yet, Allie Cat. Let him finish.”
The surprise on Evan’s face is comical. “It was you that night, on the phone. I wasn’t sure … I thought it might have been a sick joke she was playing.”
“Nope, it was me, and it still is.” Jordan’s tone proves to Evan he’s not one to be messed with. Evan slinks down further in his chair.
“After I made the announcement, I couldn’t take it back. Everything was falling into place—work, my relationship with your father—and the only thing missing was you. Whenever he would ask, I’d say you were helping Sasha, visiting friends, whatever I could think of to keep you out of town.”
Sasha laughs and hops up on the bar. “I feel like I need some popcorn.”
“My God. So all this time you’ve let people think we’re getting married?”
My father takes a seat and loosens his tie. “This is going to be a nightmare. How the hell am I supposed to spin this?”
“Spin it?” I squeal. “You announce he’s a cheating motherfucker who was only in it for my trust fund. Then you call him out for the liar he is. I’m sorry, Dad, but the fallout from this is on the two of you.”
“Allison—”
“No, don’t Allison me. If you acted like a parent, you’d call once in a while, check in, make sure … I don’t know … that I’m still alive? Jesus, Dad, he could have killed me and disposed of my body and it would have taken you eight months to know something was wrong. Unbelievable! Thank God for the Westons. They took me in on Christmas and were warmer and more welcoming to me than you’ve been my entire life.”
I’m livid, and as my anger rises, I point between the two of them. “I’m not sure what in the world Evan thought he was going to accomplish by bringing you here to find me. He had to know you were going to find out the truth. But I can tell you right now there isn’t going to be any shotgun wedding. I’m never marrying Evan.”
Dad runs his fingers through his hair. “Allie, contrary to popular belief, I have been keeping tabs on you. I knew where you were and who you were working with at all times. Shortly after you left, I realized Evan had been lying but I was unclear of the angle, and I still am. I assumed you were sowing your oats, having a last fling before settling down. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have invested my time or money in a wedding. It’s not my place to ask what’s going on with you and Evan. Now that I know this isn’t a fling, I’m having a difficult time grasping how you’re happy working in a bar. For what? Minimum wage? With a tattooed, high-school-graduate bartender who is related to some of the most controversial musicians of your generation. You’re better than this.”
I feel Jordan inhale deeply against my back, but I’ve got this. “I’m working in one of the top three bars in the state. This bar is one of the hubs of the music industry where high-profile entertainment executives scout the next-best thing in music. It’s prime for expansion with a high probability of global success. Who his family is only increases the probability of success, if that’s the road Jordan chooses. Don’t think my Wharton education has gone to waste just because I’m a waitress. I’ve done my research. Jordan owns this bar, and his tattoos are not an indicator of who he is as a person. They’re an expression of his heart, mind, and soul. His brothers are two of the most philanthropic people I’ve ever met, and that loving family I mentioned raised all of them.”
He tries to speak, but I hold up my hand because I’m not nearly finished with him yet. “I don’t judge people by their outward appearances or who they’re related to. I judge them for how they treat me and the people around them. Why do you think I’ve distanced myself from you? I love you, Dad, but you’re one of the biggest condescending pricks I’ve ever met. God gives us our family to love, but there’s no requirement for us to like them. And for the record, I don’t give a
shit about the money.”
“That’s because you have a hefty trust fund coming to you.”
I close my eyes and count to five before softening my tone. “No, Dad, it’s because no matter how much you think otherwise, money doesn’t buy happiness. The only things I need to make me happy are the man I love, our cat, a roof over our heads, and Sasha. If the people I love are happy, I’m happy. How long has it been since you were happy, Dad? Have you ever asked yourself that?”
Jordan takes advantage of the long pause in conversation and holds out his hand to my dad. “Maybe we should start over. I’m Jordan Weston, the owner of this bar, and I’m deeply in love with your daughter. Can I get either of you a drink? On the house, of course.”
Dad shakes his hand. “Senator Baker, but you can call me Jack.”
Evan’s jaw practically falls to the ground, and once J gets his hand back, I stretch up and kiss him.
“I love you so much.”
With a quick kiss to my head, he replies, “I love you too,” before grabbing two glasses.
“Whiskey, neat. Whatever top shelf you have is fine, but I’m happy to pay,” my dad says.
Jordan shakes his head. “Your money isn’t good here, Jack.”
“Well, that’s different,” he muses and flashes a glare at Evan.
Jordan gives my dad a double and turns his attention to Evan. “Drink?”
“Mai tai.”
Jordan coughs to cover his laugh, but Sasha doesn’t bother. “Still drinking like a college girl, huh, Evan?”
Normally, I’d defend him, but that’s not happening now.
My dad finishes his drink, and J refills his glass. About halfway through the second one, he looks up at me. “When did you start becoming so free with the foul language?”
“Maybe when I decided my happiness needs to come first. I’m not the girl who is going to constantly capitulate to your demands anymore. This is my life, and I’m happy now. I’m sorry for whatever Evan put you through,” I shoot Evan an evil glare, “but if you’d have called me and told me what was going on, maybe you could have avoided some heartache and financial losses.”
As my dad mulls things over, I feel like I can finally speak to Evan without killing him.
“Look, Evan, I don’t know what you thought you were going to accomplish here, but it didn’t work. You’re never getting your hands on my trust fund. I know that’s going to put a serious cramp in your style since all your credit is maxed out.”
He at least has the decency to look ashamed.
“You and I were never right for each other. The person I thought was a sweet, shy boy turned into a lying and manipulative man. Keep this up and you’re going to end up in jail.” I turn to my father. “Dad, if I were you, I’d get someone in your office to audit anything he’s done in the last year at least.”
My dad looks between Jordan and Evan, and I wonder what is going through his mind. Jordan is nothing like any of the guys I would have normally dated, but it just goes to show if you step outside of your comfort zone, the best things in life may be waiting for you.
It only takes a few seconds for Dad to turn his glacial glare on Evan. I’ve been the recipient of that look before and it’s not a pleasant experience. “Evan, you’re fired.” Evan’s mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water. “You’ve lied and cost me time and money, not to mention embarrassment. Go back to D.C. and pick up your things. They’ll be waiting for you with security, and your key card will be deactivated this evening. Be happy I’m not withholding your final paycheck or coming after you for all the deposits and money I’ve shelled out for this wedding. You will not be receiving a recommendation from my office. If you try, you won’t be happy with the outcome.”
Evan fumbles with his drink and downs it in two huge gulps before standing. He looks heartbroken as he walks toward the door.
“Evan, wait!” I call out to him as everyone stares at me. He at least has the decency to turn around. “Why did you do it? Why would you play with people’s lives like this?”
“I’ll tell you privately if you want to sit in one of these booths with me for a minute.”
“Allie,” Jordan cautions, “you don’t owe him anything.”
“No, but maybe if I hear why, I can let this go and not feel like a fool for the rest of my life.”
Jordan squeezes my hand and lets me go, but the scowl on his face proves he’s not happy about it.
Evan and I slide into a booth, and I wait for him to speak.
“This is embarrassing, but you deserve the truth. I love you, Allie, and I have since we first met.”
“Could have fooled me.”
He winces. “I deserve that. You know working in D.C. is hard. Men are constantly cheating on their wives and discussing their back-room conquests.”
“So you did all of this to be part of the boys’ club?”
“No, I did it thinking it would be discreet, and I did it because I don’t like sex and I’m not good at sex.”
My heart softens a bit at his candid confession, especially when I see how miserable he is. “Evan …”
“Please, Allie, spare me the talk. We both know it’s true. In the most fucked-up way ever, I was trying to make things better so you and I could have that spark or chemistry. You were always so wistful when you were watching your romance movies, and I wanted that for you, for us, badly.”
It’s hard to be furious with him when he’s wearing his heart on his sleeve. I’m the last person who should be giving him advice, but Evan doesn’t have a lot of friends. Shit, how can I be mad at him? He’s struggling with so much.
“Have you ever thought about seeing a therapist? Maybe a sex therapist? I don’t want to rub salt in the wound, but for a long time I thought it was me. That there was something wrong with what I was doing. When Jordan and I … Well, let’s just say it was quickly evident it wasn’t an issue with me, it was an issue with you and I.”
I reach across the table and take one of Evan’s hands in mine. Jordan scowls at us from across the room, but I can’t worry about that. He knows my heart belongs to him.
“I’ve thought about it. I’m just not sure.”
“Can I ask you something?”
He shrugs. “There’s nothing off the table at this point. I owe you more than I can ever repay.”
“Do you think it’s possible you’re gay?”
“Honestly, Allie, I don’t know. I’ve looked up lots of things online. I thought maybe I was asexual, but that doesn’t really fit because I do get turned on. Sex excites me sometimes. The first time we were together was incredible. But there are other aspects that don’t do it for me. I’m not sure I’m ready to try hooking up with a guy to see if that’s it. I’m also not, or have never yet found myself, attracted to another man.”
I’ve got a lot of mixed emotions right now, anger and sadness being at the top of the list, but I also feel like he needs someone in his corner right now. “Well, I’ve learned some things lately, especially rooming with Sasha.” No way am I throwing Jordan’s sex life out there for Evan. “Maybe you should … do some self-experimenting. No partners. Just buy some lube and toys and do some thorough research on how to use them. Then if you find something that turns you on, maybe you can figure out how to incorporate it into your life.”
Evan’s tear-filled eyes meet mine. “Thanks, Allie, maybe I can try that. It can’t hurt.”
“Evan, maybe also talk to a doctor. Your hormones may need to be checked.”
“Why are you being so nice to me, Allie?”
I lean back in the booth and sigh. “Because I can’t stand to see you so upset. I haven’t loved you for a long time, Evan. I don’t even know why I said yes to your proposal in the first place. I’m sorry if that hurts. After catching you with your intern and knowing she wasn’t the only one you were messing around with, it killed everything for me. But we were compatible in so many other ways, I guess I hope
d we’d get past it somehow. That’s where my self-esteem took a hit too though. For a long time, I thought I couldn’t satisfy you sexually. I wish you would have talked to me about this before you cheated. Maybe we could have figured it out together.”
Evan runs his hands through his hair. “I wish I would have talked about it too, but damn, Allie, it’s fucking embarrassing. I figured if I found a solution, I could tell you about it and you’d see I was doing it for us.”
“Bullshit, Evan. You may have convinced yourself of that, but if you were doing it for us, we could have tried new things together. You were doing it for you. In a way, I get it. As a man, you need that validation, but guess what? I needed it too. I needed to feel wanted and desirable. The way you looked at me when you walked in here today … fuck … it would’ve made a world of difference if you’d have looked at me like that while we were together.”
His eyes dart over to Jordan who is still watching us.
“Does he look at you that way?”
“All the time, but he also backs it up with actions. He tells me he loves me, he includes me with his family, he rubs my feet after a long night at work even though he’s just as tired as I am. I hope you can find that someday, Evan, I really do, but it can’t be with me.”
He slides out of the booth. “I realize that, Allie, and I’m sorry for everything. Thank you for letting me explain and for not killing me.”
I laugh lightly and stand. “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me what is really going on. I know that wasn’t easy, and you could’ve taken the coward’s way out. Consider what I said, Evan. Take time to find yourself. You’ll be much happier when you do. I know I am.”
As he walks away, I lean back against the table and sigh. Poor Evan. I’m still angry at him, but it’s easier to understand why he did what he did. He’ll never have my forgiveness, but there’s no need to hold a grudge against him any longer.
Jordan makes his way to me and pulls me close. “Are you okay?”
