by K E Osborn
I can’t explain how I feel.
I’ve never felt this way before.
It scares me as much as it electrifies me.
The thought of taking a life has never been a problem for me. I’ve taken many over the years in the club. But this life—this life means so much more.
I push the blade and feel him squirming and begin to thrash around. Finn and Dax are quickly beside me holding him down as I meticulously slice Raphael from collarbone to cock. His breathing becomes labored, his screams dying down, but the intensity of the moment is not enough for me.
I need to feel his insides.
I need to see him choke on his own mortality.
I need to feel him die by his own means.
So, I drop the knife and do something I never thought I could ever possibly be capable of. I slam my hand inside the gaping wound and yank out his intestines. He groans, his entire body shuddering and squirming as I get to work quickly. HHe doesn’t have much time left. I am surprised he’s still conscious. So, I grab the strand, sliding it up behind his head.
“Jesus Christ,” Dax mumbles, but I’m far too gone.
My breaths come out in fast pants. Blood covers my shirt as I lift Raphael’s head up and slide his intestines around his neck twice. His body’s fading quickly, blood pooling out all over the linoleum as I tighten the intestines and squeeze. “Die, you motherfucker,” I groan, squeezing as hard as I can.
Raphael gasps for air.
His legs kick out like he’s struggling.
I’m taking far too much pleasure in this.
I’ve lost myself.
But I know in Rowdy I will find myself again.
She’s all I’m thinking about right now.
I tighten my grip further. Sweat pouring down my temple as I yank him harder. His legs give a final kick, then his body goes limp in my arms the same time his intestines snap around his neck dropping him to the floor.
“Fucking hell,” Finn whispers.
I’m covered in blood while trying to wrap my head around the man I’ve just become.
My entire body shudders.
I’ve killed for the club, but only out of self-defense.
This was pure and utter unadulterated rage.
This? This is murder.
I stutter out a staggered breath as Dax stands to his feet clearing his throat. “Vibe,” he murmurs in a soft voice so as to not startle me. It does anyway as I jolt my head up to look at him. He raises his hands in surrender. “You did a good thing, brother.”
Glancing down at Raphael’s disemboweled body in front of me, I tense. “I…”
“Take off your shirt,” Dax blurts out.
It breaks me from my daze as I glare at him. “The fuck?”
Finn nods his head at Dax. “Yeah, and your pants!”
Finn starts unbuckling his belt the same time Dax yanks off his shirt.
I don’t know if I’m still in fucking shock or what, but I don’t think this is the time for a goddamned striptease. “The hell are you dickheads doing?”
“Get up, Vibe, we don’t have much time, and you can’t go outside looking like that. If anyone needs to get out of here, it’s you. So, get out of those bloodied clothes. Let us put them on,” Dax suggests.
I raise my brow in surprise. They’re prospects. They are meant to do shit like this for patched members, but shit like this can get their asses thrown in this place for a long ass time.
I can’t ask them to take the fall for this. “No… I did this. I have to take the hit. Cunningham was specific, he said no blood.” I inhale sharply. “This is on me.”
“Vibe, think of Rowdy. You have to get back to her. We’re just prospects,” Finn argues.
“And think of it this way, you can put in a good word with the pres, and it might get us our patches for taking one for the team,” Dax jests, a giant smile on his face letting me know he’s joking.
I grit my teeth hating this idea.
But Finn’s right.
I do need to get back to Rowdy.
So, I stand and move to take off my shirt. I grab Dax’s clean tee and yank it on, the thing a size and a half too small, but I yank it on anyway. Then I pull down my blood-soaked jeans and hand them to Finn. He takes them, and we swap. I pull on Finn’s pants and again they’re smaller, making me feel a squeeze in places that shouldn’t be squeezed. Well, not by denim anyway.
I look down at myself. I look like a fucking idiot, but as I glance at my prospects, one with a bloodied top, one with red-covered jeans, I shake my head. “Boys, you’re going above and beyond. I don’t know what’s going to happen when we leave this room, but I thank you for what you’re doing for me.” I yank off the blood-soaked gloves dropping them to the floor beside Raphael’s dead body.
“We love Defiance. We’d do anything for it, Vibe. Even get locked in the big house,” Dax admits, and I grip his shoulder in thanks.
“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.” I glance back at Raphael on the floor. A new sense of calm washes over me. “Let’s get this over with.”
The boys nod, and we head for the door. I walk first having the guys follow me. I have no idea how this shit’s going to go down. I open the door, peek out into the hall, and see nothing, so I open the door fully and gesture for Dax and Finn to exit. I step through closing the door behind me as I take a deep breath feeling relief flood over me.
He can’t hurt you ever again, Rowdy.
I turn taking off down the hall with the prospects in tow, and as we round the final hall toward the exit, Cunningham steps into view. His eyes open wide as he grits his teeth rushing toward us. He takes in Dax and Finn shaking his head. “I said no fucking blood!” His tone is harsh.
I go to speak, but Finn cuts in. “Sorry, we got carried away.”
“He’s on the floor, too. Not on the chair… my bad,” Dax adds.
They really are going to shoulder the blame for this.
Cunningham looks at me, his eyes lingering on my extremely tight clothing. “You’ve got nothing on you, Vibe?”
I shrug but say nothing in return, so he gestures for the exit. I exhale in relief as I turn to walk out, but as I do he grabs the back of Finn and Dax’s shirts. “Not you two, you guys have to stay here. You can’t make it out of the front gate with blood on you. Sorry, boys, I said no blood. I meant it. Blood changes the rules.”
I flare my nostrils. “Cunningham, we had a deal,” I say through gritted teeth.
He laughs. “Yeah, we did. I let you in, you come out, no blood, and I let you back out those gates. They have a fucking lot of blood on them. You can go, they can’t. They’re staying. Sorry, Vibe, deal’s a deal.”
“This is bullshit!” I blast him.
“Keep your voice down, or you’re staying, too.”
“Vibe, go. You’re more help at the club than in here with us,” Finn tells me. That man always has the level head.
“We’ll figure this out, boys,” I tell them as Cunningham turns, walking them back down the hall.
“I’ll get you out,” I yell. “I’ll get you out,” I murmur more to myself and feeling like a fucking asshole for getting them into this goddamn mess in the first place.
HAYLEY
Vibe and the prospects have been out doing something big, I know because the clubhouse is tense.
Torque keeps checking his watch.
Ace, his cell.
Something’s going down, and no one’s telling me shit. The deliberate not telling me is making my mind wander, filling me with dread. The unknown is far worse, I’m sure of it.
So, I’m sitting here at the club bar, more than a little worried about Vibe and trying to come to terms with what on earth is going on when I have no idea what the hell it could be. I am also concerned about Lily, who’s still in the hospital trying to recover from her injuries.
Jazz wipes the bar down and smiles. “You doing okay, hon?”
The club girl reminds me of me, she’s doing everything to
please the club. The club’s paying for Jazz to go to school where she’s studying to be a chef, so needless to say the food here’s gotten so freaking good since Jazz arrived.
“Yeah, just… I know something’s happening. I wish people would tell me. I know everyone sees me as fragile right now, but I still deserve to know what’s going on.”
Jazz reaches out, her hand resting on my forearm. “Babe, you’re not fragile. Far from it. You’re one of the strongest women I know. And if they’re hiding something from you, you know it’s for a reason. They’ll tell you when it’s time. You know how it works.”
I roll my shoulders trying to release the tension because she’s right. It doesn’t stop my impatience from feeling unbearable, though. “I hear you. Sorry. I’ll stop overthinking.”
That’s when I hear him before I see him. Vibe strides inside the clubhouse. His face tight with a look of concern. And what the fuck is he wearing? Looks like he’s changed into clothes for a child.
I glance at Jazz and scrunch my face. “Thanks for the chat.”
“Go, hon. Go!” She waves me off understanding completely.
I stand and rush toward Vibe as he storms toward his president. My feet taking rushed steps, I hurry toward him sliding into Vibe’s side at the same time he steps up to Torque.
“Vibe,” I murmur.
His ice-blue eyes sparkle when they meet mine like the torment he’s been harboring has somehow lifted. It shocks me for a moment.
“Babe, I need to talk to you. But right now, we have a situation.”
I nod as Torque steps forward. “Vibe, what the fuck happened?” He takes in Vibe’s obvious change in attire.
Vibe runs his hand through his light blond hair. “The prospects, pres…” He exhales. “Shit got a little crazy, and so we swapped clothes. Cunningham wouldn’t let them out with stained clothing if you hear what I’m saying.” Vibe glances at me like he’s monitoring his words for my benefit, but I have no idea what he’s talking about anyway.
Torque grits his teeth. “So, Cunningham took them into custody?”
My eyes widen as my head snaps to Vibe.
He tenses but nods. “Yeah, pres. They’re in custody. Fuck! Man, I screwed up. But they both stood in and offered to take the fall, so I could come back to Rowdy.”
A tight knot forms in my brow. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
Vibe glances at me sideways but doesn’t have a chance to answer before Torque interrupts, “Right, we need a plan. They can’t stay in there. We gotta get a deal to Cunningham. Now!”
Vibe nods his head, saying something I don’t even comprehend while everything starts to click into place.
Vibe was at the prison.
Something went wrong.
Raphael is in prison.
Oh God, what has Vibe done?
My head spins as the guys take off leaving me standing on my own trying to comprehend what the hell has happened. I’m left in the dark again with only snippets of information. The brothers are in crisis mode.
Two prospects have basically been arrested, and they’re all frantically working to try and figure a way out while I stand here reeling. I feel like the clubhouse is spinning around me while I stand completely still. It’s like a swirling chaos. I can’t even comprehend how fast everything is moving.
The roar of two Harleys breaks me from my thoughts when everyone in the clubroom stops their frantic planning, and we all glance to the clubhouse door. My breath catches in my throat. I don’t know what the hell to expect.
Dax walks through throwing his hands in the air, wearing a prison guard uniform. “I’ve decided to have a change in career,” he yells. Finn walks in behind him wearing the same thing and slaps him over the back of his head.
I furrow my brows at the two prospects, who now look like enemies of the club.
“What the asshole is trying to say is we’re off the hook.”
Vibe’s body visibly relaxes as everyone rushes over, and I slowly follow wondering what on earth is going on.
“What the hell, boys?” Vibe asks as Torque slaps Dax on his shoulder.
“Cunningham took us into a storeroom with a bunch of uniforms. We were shitting ourselves just quietly thinking we were gonna be processed, but he said we just needed to change and then leave without being conspicuous.”
Vibe cocks his head. “That bastard was fucking with me?”
“Cunningham was royally fucking with you, you know, ‘cause he’s an asshole,” Dax confirms.
“Fucker!” Vibe grunts while Torque tries to hide his smile.
“Glad to have you back, boys. Plus, you never know when those uniforms might come in handy. So, make sure they go to the supply room,” Torque instructs. “Right, let’s all go and relax, I’m sure some of us have things we need to do?” Torque looks right at Vibe who bows his head at his president.
I’m so far out of the damn loop it’s like I am on another planet.
Vibe takes a deep breath, but his eyes meet mine as he strides over. All the tension he had in him seems to have evaporated. I don’t know what happened today, but he looks free, and the thought has my mind racing. He reaches out grabbing my hand, and like always, a tingle shoots through my fingers. I love it when he touches me. Even after everything, my mind might find it hard when we get intimate, but a simple touch like this lets me know we’re connected.
Vibe is my everything!
He leads me toward the hall, and with this simple gesture, I know he has something to tell me—something big. So, I don’t hesitate and walk with him quickly. Silence filters all around. I feel every set of eyes on us as we enter the hall, heading for our room.
Vibe opens the door, moving through, and holds it open allowing me to enter, then he closes it behind me. The tension between us should feel intense, it should be rife with concern. I should be nervous, but with how calm he is, with the look in his eyes, I know this can only be good news.
He gestures for the bed. I walk over sitting on the edge. He doesn’t take a seat next to me, but rather stands in front, running his sweaty palms down the jeans that are far too tight for him. He glances down at the shirt that looks ridiculous on him, and I can’t help the slow smirk that forms on my lips.
He groans. “This shirt is fucking stupid. I can’t breathe in it,” he mumbles, grabbing the hem and yanking it up and over his head. His abs come into view, his muscles glistening with the sweat. My thighs tighten with want as I look at him. It’s the first time in a long time that I’ve actually had that feeling. My eyes linger on that sculptured ‘V’ sinking into those damn tight-as-fuck jeans. I swallow a lump in my throat at the foreign feeling creeping through my body. Nervous at the thought of what it could mean, I want desperately to go back to a place where I can be intimate with Vibe. It’s just been so damn hard.
Raphael. That man took so much from me that night.
Vibe swipes the shirt up and down his slickened body, snapping me from my running thoughts. I let out a heavy exhale making him still. “Shit! Sorry. Need me to put on another shirt?”
“No, not at all. I’ve missed looking at you.”
Vibe’s eyes alight like I’ve just said the best thing I could have possibly said right now. He moves closer, throwing the shirt to the floor, then reaches out grabbing my hands in his. He stares straight into my eyes, and my heart does this leap as we gaze right into the depths of each other’s souls. Whatever he’s about to tell me is going to change the course of my life, I’m sure of it.
“Rowdy… I need you to know that what I did, I didn’t do just for you.”
“What you did?”
“It was as much for me as it was for you.”
My heart beats frantically in my chest. “Wh… what did you do, Vibe?”
He licks his bottom lip before he starts, “I went into the prison, and… I killed Raphael.”
My stomach flips but not in a bad way like I would expect, but more like it makes me want to throw the mother of al
l celebrations. I had no idea those words would mean so much to me. Hearing that Raphael is dead means more than I ever thought it could.
Something inside of me shifts—the heaviness that was weighing me down shatters, falling to the floor and sinking into the earth.
Then it sprouts into something beautiful.
And that something beautiful is hope.
Hope of a new life.
Hope of a better life.
Hope that I can now move on.
Move on with my Vibe.
I leap from the bed into his arms. A giggle escapes my mouth as I cling to Vibe, his strong biceps encase me, wrapping me in warmth, letting me know his arms will always be my home. I nuzzle into his chest as his fingers smooth over my hair. “I… I have no words.”
Vibe exhales, his nose running against my ear. “I’m sorry, but it had to be done. I couldn’t let him live. I knew I was leaving with the possibility of not coming back to you, and that thought makes my chest ache with regret.”
I look into his ice-blue eyes, they’re so intense as he watches me. “No. Don’t be sorry. You never have to apologize to me, Vibe.” My fingers thread through his light blond hair. “The thought of not seeing you again isn’t true.” He cocks his head at me. “If you got caught, if they took you in and arrested you, do you honestly think I wouldn’t have stuck by you? Come to see you in prison? It wouldn’t have been it for us, Vibe. You went in there for me. No for us. There’s no way I would ever give up on you because you’re behind bars.” I scoff. “I mean, hell… you’ve been so good to me. So patient. So caring. I mean fucking hell, I practically push you away every time you come near me, and still, you stay. If you think prison is going to keep me from you, you’ve underestimated me.”
“I love you, Rowdy. So fucking much.”
He leans his forehead against mine, and I lean forward, pressing my lips to his. That intoxicating surge explodes inside me. One I haven’t felt for a long time. Sure, I have the spark, that electric shock when he touches me which has never faded. But this, here right now, this lets me know that maybe Vibe and I can get back to a place I wasn’t sure we would ever be able to. With the thought that Raphael can never hurt me again, I feel like the darkness that was shrouding me has been lifted and in its place is a shining light. That light is Vibe, and right now kissing him is like the most natural thing in the world.
