by Erin Wright
No, he wasn’t okay at all. He was barely hanging on by his fingernails.
“Of course,” he answered smoothly. “Any…news?” He looked over casually to the boys. Skyler looked preoccupied, but Zane never knew how much little ears paid attention.
“Nope, we’ve been a news-free zone this morning,” Abby said casually. “Haven’t paid attention to a bit of it.”
“Good, good.” He sucked down the last of his coffee and then put the mug down, feeling weirdly nostalgic for a life that he’d never led. What would it be like to just stand around in the Millers’ kitchen, chit-chatting with them without a care in the world? What would it be like to be able to go out on a date without it becoming headline news the next day?
Questions he’d never know the answer to.
“C’mon, Sky,” he said, walking over and ruffling the straw-blond hair of his son. “We need to get going.”
“Good morning, Mr. Risley,” Juan said formally from his cross-legged position on the floor.
Zane shot Wyatt and Abby an amused look. They’d certainly raised a little gentleman. “Good morning, Juan. Did y’all have fun this weekend?”
“Yes, sir!” Juan said, his eyes glowing with excitement. “First, we—”
“Juan,” Abby cut across what was looking like was going to be a point-by-point recitation of their weekend together. “Mr. Risley needs to get going. He’s going to have to hear all about it from Skyler.”
“Oh,” Juan said, his face falling.
“I’m sure we’ll be able to get Skyler back over here soon,” Zane reassured him, and Juan brightened right back up.
They headed for the front door, Skyler rolling ahead of them, his backpack in his lap. Maggie Mae greeted them ecstatically as soon as the front door opened, as thrilled as she’d been when Zane had pulled up just minutes before, as if she hadn’t seen a human being for years.
Not surprisingly, her love and enthusiasm immediately opened the “We really need a dog” floodgates. Zane listened with half an ear – the reasons all seemed to be a repeat of the reasons Skyler had rattled off the other night – waved goodbye to the Millers, and began heading back home.
His shoulders were tightening with every passing mile, despite his attempts to stay calm, cool, and collected. He had to figure out a way to tell Skyler what was going on without freaking him out, while also making him understand the severity of the situation. It was a fine line to walk between telling Skyler everything and making him spaz, vs telling him too little and thus not giving his son the tools he needed to handle the situation.
“Dad, what’s wrong?”
Zane almost drove into a ditch.
“Uhh…what makes you ask that?” he asked casually. So very casually. No one had ever been as casual as him in the history of the universe.
“You look like you ate a lemon for breakfast.”
It was amazing how lovely small children were for a man’s pride. He glared at Skyler in the rearview mirror. Skyler just looked back expectantly, waiting for an answer, apparently missing the whole I-might-have-just-insulted-you part of the conversation.
“While you were gone to the Millers this weekend,” Zane started out carefully, testing each word before he said it, hoping he wasn’t about to make a huge mistake, “Louisa and I…uhh…”
“Did you kiss?” Skyler broke in eagerly.
Zane almost drove into a ditch. Again.
It really was dangerous to drive while holding conversations with Skyler.
“I told Juan you liked her,” Skyler said confidently. “She’s really pretty so you’d be stupid not to.”
Zane thought about lecturing Skyler on how a woman’s appearance didn’t matter as much as what was on the inside, but hell, who was he kidding? He spent ungodly amounts of money that weekend specifically to make Louisa feel as gorgeous as possible. Looks did matter, no matter how many trite sayings people came up with that said otherwise, but luckily for Zane, Louisa had stupendous looks and a stupendous personality.
Now if Zane could just keep her, he’d really be doing well.
“We started dating this weekend,” Zane answered, sidestepping the kissing question, at least for now. It was going to have to come up at some point, considering the damn busboy had snapped more than a few pics of the two of them kissing after the meal ended, but as far as Zane was concerned, that moment could just wait its turn. “She’s…I really like her a lot, Skyler. But first, I need to know how you feel about her.”
“I like her,” his son announced, no hesitation in his voice at all. “So does this mean that she’s coming with us back to Tennessee?”
Well, he could say this about Skyler: He wasn’t one for beating around the bush.
“I haven’t actually asked her that yet,” Zane said, feeling like he was tiptoeing through a minefield. Carefully, ever so carefully, he had to answer Skyler’s questions while also not discussing “adult” topics with him. Topics he hadn’t even discussed with Louisa yet.
“Do you want me to?” Skyler asked eagerly. “She likes me. She’d have a hard time telling me no.”
That, Zane was sure, was the most truthful statement on the planet. Louisa did like Skyler very much, although she was better at telling him no when that was what he needed to hear. Better than Zane, anyway.
“The thing is,” Zane said, deciding to leave that can of worms alone for the moment, “Louisa and I went on a date last night. We didn’t know it, but the busboy took a bunch of pictures of us while we were eating, and sold them to the newspapers. Our date was all over the news last night and this morning.”
“Were you naked?” Skyler asked, looking perplexed.
Zane only barely missed taking out a trash can on the side of the road. “No!” he roared, and then made a concerted effort to loosen his hands on the steering wheel. “Why would you ask that?”
“Because if you had clothes on,” Skyler said slowly, as if explaining a simple concept to the dumbest of human beings, “why does it matter if they took pictures?”
“It’s the…you don’t always want the whole world knowing that you went on a date. Louisa isn’t used to people prying into her life. She’s used to having privacy, and really only her family and friends knowing about her. You know how after we got in the car wreck, you had a bunch of people all trying to break into your hospital room to ask you questions?” Skyler nodded slowly. “You didn’t want them there, right?” Skyler nodded again, slower this time. “Part of that was because you’d just lost your momma, and part of it was because you didn’t feel good at all, but part of it was also because it’s a lot for a person to take in. You were raised in the spotlight, Skyler. You’ve always been my son, and so you’ve always had people interested in you when they wouldn’t be otherwise. Louisa never has. She needs time.”
Zane hit the blinker and turned down the long dirt road towards the house, so nicely smoothed out now. He rather wished he hadn’t had the road graded the day before. Maybe if the ride wasn’t as pleasant, more of the reporters would’ve stayed away.
“Wow, Dad, did you fix the road?” Skyler asked, his eyes wide as they met in the rearview mirror.
“Yeah. It was part of my surprise for Louisa. Part of our…date.”
Talking about his love life, even in such vague terms, with his 12-year-old son had to be the most excruciating conversation of his life. The word awkward did not even begin to cover it.
But Skyler just nodded his head wisely. “Good call, Dad. You can’t kiss her if the whole car is bouncing up and down.”
Ex.cru.cia.ting.
“When we get to the house,” Zane said, choosing to ignore yet another comment by his way-too-precocious son, “there is going to be a bunch of reporters out front. I want you to look out my side of the car as we drive in, okay? Don’t look at them. We’ll go right into the garage and they won’t be able to follow us.”
Skyler nodded, looking a little less certain about all of this. He’d been damn implacable while the
y had been discussing it in the abstract but now…
As they turned the last corner, Zane said, “Now, Skyler,” just as he punched the gas. Normally he’d slow down as he got closer to the house, but not today. He jammed his thumb against the garage door opener, hitting it repeatedly as the reporters came rushing over, microphones and cameras waving as they went. Eyes straight, cap low, collar high, Zane zipped past them all and into the security of the garage, pulling to a hard stop and jamming his thumb against the button again to close the door. It slid silently closed, leaving them in the quiet of the garage, the muffled shouts of the reporters vaguely drifting through.
“How’d you do? Did you look at them?” Zane asked. Skyler shook his head. “Good. Let’s go inside and talk to Louisa.”
Hopefully, she’d actually want to talk to them. That wasn’t exactly a given at that point.
They headed into the house, Skyler effortlessly transferring himself out of the Audi and into his wheelchair before zipping towards the service door. The door opened before he could get there, though, and there stood Louisa.
She’d come up from the basement. Thank God, she’d made it out of the basement.
“Louisa!” Skyler said, throwing his arms around her kneecaps. “Are you going to move to Tennessee with us?”
She let out a startled bark of laughter. “We didn’t…uhhh…talk about that,” she said carefully, avoiding Zane’s eyes.
“That’s what Dad said. But you should. Dad says you guys were wearing clothes when the busman took your pictures, so it really isn’t all bad. The reporters get bored after a while and go away. Just ignore them.”
“Busman…?” Louisa said, furrowing her brow and looking at Zane for the first time, who was still standing in the garage.
“I think he means busboy.”
“Yeah, busboy,” Skyler repeated.
Louisa pressed her lips together and Zane was sure that in that moment, she was trying to keep from laughing her ass off. Welcome to having kids…
“Glad you’re back,” Stetson said, coming up behind Louisa. “Hey there, pardner,” he said to Skyler, pulling on the brim of his hat in greeting. “Now that you’re back,” he said, looking back towards Zane, “I’m gonna head on out. Y’all have got things to discuss anyway, so I’ll just scoot on outta here.” After a quick round of goodbyes, Stetson headed out the front door, his hat pulled low, pushing his way through the crowd, ignoring the shouts rolling in from every side.
“So I was thinking,” Louisa said, once Stetson had left, “your dad and I really need to talk. What do you think about spending some time downstairs, playing some Xbox?”
Instead of squealing with delight and racing for the elevator, though, Skyler paused and then threw his arms around Louisa’s knees again. “Don’t make me move back to Tennessee without you or Juan,” he said in a choked voice and then he was scooting for the elevator, not looking back as he went.
Zane felt a lump rise in his throat at Skyler’s words. It really wasn’t fair of him to set up a perfect summer where Skyler had a nurse who loved him and a best friend who wanted to hang out with him, and then tear him away from all of it and move him back to Tennessee without a backward glance.
Well, he couldn’t do anything about Juan, but he was damn well going to do his best to convince Louisa that she had to move back with him.
He needed her as much as his son did, and he refused to give her up now.
Chapter 41
Louisa
Louisa stood there in the middle of the living room, the warmth of Skyler’s embrace around her knees a branding iron of love. His thin little arms, his brilliant blue eyes so like Zane’s…
He needs me. Dios mío, he needs me. But I cannot base my whole life and what I do on what Skyler Risley needs. I have to do what’s best for me too.
Slowly, she raised her eyes and met Zane’s gaze, forcing herself to look him in the eye. This was it. This was the turning point in their relationship. By the end of this discussion, they’d either be together as a couple, or they’d be over.
Which did she want?
Well, she knew which she wanted. That was a stupidly easy question to answer.
She wanted Zane. She wanted Skyler.
But at what price? And most importantly of all, was she willing to pay that price?
That, she didn’t know. But she did know that she owed it to Skyler, to Zane, and most importantly to herself, to try.
Zane looked at her, his eyes begging her to give them a shot. To give him a shot. He needed her just as much as Skyler needed her.
What price will I pay? What price will I pay? What price will I pay?
“I know,” Zane said quietly, breaking the taut silence between them, “that we’re moving damn fast. I know that I’m asking for a lot here. Maybe too much. But Louisa, I love you. I love you more than I realized I could love another human being.” He snagged her hand and tugged her towards the uncomfortable sofas in the formal living room. They settled down onto the much-too-firm cushions and Zane pulled her hands to his lips. “I love you because of who you are, but also because of who you make me want to be. I’m a better dad and a better human being with you around. So, I want to ask you: Will you move back with us to Tennessee?”
She felt tears spring up in her eyes and this time, she wasn’t angry. She really was heartbroken, because she was going to give up the love of her life, and oh, how she did not want to. “I’m sorry, Zane,” she whispered, “but I cannot move to Tennessee. My family is here. I’m not moving across the country and leaving them—”
“But I have a private jet,” he broke in, and she could tell that he’d already thought through all of this and was so sure he had the right answer to it all. “You can just zip right back across the country and visit them whenever you want.”
“If that’s true—” she countered, trying to keep her voice even and reasonable, brushing the tears away and straightening up on the couch. Melting into a little pile of goo wasn’t going to help. She couldn’t give into the grief. Not yet. “—then why don’t you just zip over to Tennessee whenever you want? We’ll stay here, and you fly to Tennessee whenever you’d like.”
He gaped at her, and it was that open-mouthed stare which confirmed her theory that up to that point, he’d never once given even the slightest thought to staying in Idaho. “But…but…” he sputtered. “Tennessee is where country music is made!”
“So you want me to move across the country to go live in a fishbowl, every eye pinned on me, in a town I don’t know, in a state I’ve never been to, in an environment I hate – humidity is the absolute worst, in case you didn’t notice – all to support your career. And in return, you give up…what is it that you give up again?” She tapped her chin as if thinking hard and then shot him an unimpressed look. “I’ve fallen in love with you and Skyler, but I am my own person, Zane. Here, I am Louisa Vargas, Carmelita’s niece. I’m a damn good nurse. And now, apparently I’m Cinderella.” She rolled her eyes. “But in Nashville, I’ll just be your girlfriend. I couldn’t get a job at the hospital there. It’d be too much of a distraction. I can just see it now – people intentionally hurting themselves in an attempt to get me as their nurse so they can slide a CD into my hands to pass along to you. Injury rates in Tennessee are gonna skyrocket overnight.” She laughed sarcastically. “I’d be bad for the health of Tennesseans. But Zane, the people are different here.”
“Are they really now?” It was Zane’s turn to get sarcastic. “So the busman last night, the people who swarmed us at the farmer’s market and called you a spic,” she winced, “does Idaho not have to claim them?”
“I was thinking about this while running on the treadmill,” she said, holding up a hand to stop him. “Think back to every bad interaction that we’ve had so far. Where were we?”
“In Idaho,” Zane said in his thickest southern drawl, sarcasm dripping off his words like honey off a honeycomb.
“No, in Franklin.” She sat back and
waited for a moment for those words to sink in. “When you went to the bar in Sawyer with the Miller brothers and those two firefighters, how many people swarmed you?” No response. “When you went to the therapy camp in Sawyer and watched Skyler ride, how many people accosted you, asking for your autograph?” This time, she didn’t even wait for a response. “There was The Herd, of course, but they all stayed in their own little group and watched you from a distance. Really, you can’t fault them too much for that. You are a superstar. But they left you well enough alone.”
She sucked in a deep breath and plunged on. “The more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve realized how different Franklin and Sawyer are. Franklin is a tourist town. There are probably more out-of-towners here than Frankliners on any given day, and especially on the weekend. These are people who have specifically come here to be entertained, and in their minds, you’re nothing more than a part of that entertainment. Sawyer, on the other hand, is a working town, full of cowboys and farmers and ranchers. While we were at Stetson and Jennifer’s house for my aunt’s birthday, I overheard Abby talking to Iris. She said something about how, ‘That was a Franklin thing to do,’ and it’s been tickling at the back of my mind ever since. I didn’t hear what it was exactly that they were discussing, but I started paying attention to the two towns and I realized that there’s this gulf between Franklin and Sawyer. They’re only 30 miles apart but they might as well be on different planets when it comes to personalities.”
His eyes were glued to her face and she knew he was listening with rapt attention, trying to wrap his mind around the information just pouring out of her, but she needed him to understand with his heart, not just his head.
She needed to switch tactics.
“Think about Skyler. He can grow up in a huge city with hundreds of thousands of people stuffed into it, part of the country music scene, his dad the Zane Risley, or he can grow up out in the country where he’s just another kid, and his best friend is Juan Miller. He can be here, close to my family. Close to the Millers. Close to the Whitakers. Maybe he’ll never become an expert horseman, but he’ll have true friends here; friends who like him for who he is, not who his father is.”
