She shuddered against him for a long minute. He gasped and panted against her damp skin.
“Oh my God,” she breathed. “That was good.”
He smiled as she clambered off, the awkwardness of post-sex somehow delightful. “That was better than good,” he said, walking to the en suite bathroom and taking off the condom.
When he got back, she was grabbing her clothes. “Well,” she said, her voice almost cheerful. “Goodnight.”
He blinked. “Wait, what?”
“I promised I wouldn’t let this affect my decision, or let it get weird,” she said. “So… I’m going to go back to the guest bedroom.”
Are you shitting me?
He was about to say so, when he saw the confusion and vulnerability in her eyes. She needed this … this assertion of control. Because she still didn’t trust him.
What’s it going to take to change your mind?
He couldn’t screw this up, though. If he moved too fast, pushed too hard, he was going to lose her. He still had a chance.
“All right,” he said quietly. “But if you change your mind, I’d welcome you in here. I want you in here.”
“Okay,” she said. Then, with slow steps, she walked out and closed the door behind her.
Chapter 7
The next evening, Rachel called Ren from the bookstore. “Hi,” he answered. “I was just thinking about you. I think I’ve got a date you might like.”
“I’m sorry,” she said quickly. “I’m not going to be able to go out tonight.”
He was quiet for a second. “This isn’t because of last night, is it?”
“What? No!” she said, then quickly reiterated, “No, it’s not. I promise.”
“Because I swear, if last night changed anything…”
“I said it wouldn’t.” She felt her cheeks heat. “We were able to pull together a girls’ night tonight, and our schedules have been so all-over-the-place, getting together is a big deal. I don’t want to cancel on them.”
“Girls’ night? Well, that sounds promising.” His cheerful voice sounded a little forced. “I guess it’s too much to hope for pillow fights and skimpy PJs?”
“What are we, twelve?” she asked, with a responding laugh. “It’s more like movies and mojitos.”
Ren chuckled, sounding a little more normal. “Okay, plans can wait. Can I still see you tomorrow?”
“Yes. Absolutely.”
“And we’ll add an extra day to my count,” he said. “We won’t include today, since you’ve got other plans.”
“You drive a hard bargain, but okay.”
“All right. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” He hesitated again, his voice low and rough. And let’s face it, sexy as all hell. “Is it okay to say I can’t stop thinking about last night?”
She closed her eyes, her thighs clenching.
“Sorry.” He sighed. “I’ll… see you tomorrow.”
“I’ve thought a lot about last night, too,” she said, her voice breaking a little.
That morning, they had both had to go to work early. He’d given her a lingering kiss before sending her off with his driver. Still, neither had addressed the elephant in the room: their scorching sex the night before… and the fact that she’d retired to the guest room immediately afterward.
She was torn between feeling incredibly stupid for giving in to her hormones, and unbelievably turned on and impatient to have sex with him again.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he promised, then hung up.
She wandered down from her bedroom, wearing her comfiest fleece sweats and a giant purple sweater. She could hear her friends assembling in the store’s “common area”, which was basically a living room. Her friend Kyla was the first to greet her.
“It’s so good to see you!” she said, throwing her arms around Rachel in a big hug. “With work and school, it feels like it’s been forever. How are you doing? Other than car troubles,” she added. “I got your Subaru this morning.”
“Nothing too bad, I hope?”
“Just the starter, I think. Not a problem,” Kyla reassured her. “The guy said he towed it from U Dub, though. That had to suck.”
Ren had taken care of it for her. She felt her cheeks heat with a blush. Ren was getting far too comfortable taking care of her. And you’re getting far too comfortable letting him.
Hailey came out with their friend Tessa and started distributing Tessa’s signature hot chocolate laced with tequila. Rachel quickly grabbed one and took a long sip. Mmmm.
“I’m surprised Noah’s not here,” their other friend Mallory said, looking around. “The guy’s here every time I stop by.”
“He had to work tonight,” Cressida said, with a smile. “He’ll be by later.”
“Still happy?” Mal asked curiously.
“Deliriously so.” Cressida beamed.
Stacy, Rachel’s best friend from high school, sat on one of the overstuffed couches and took them all in. “I can’t believe we’re all in relationships,” she marveled. “All at the same time, I mean. That’s never happened. And we’re all happy.”
“That’s not quite true,” Mal said. “Rache, you’re still the last holdout.”
“She’s been dating,” Hailey said, her tone a little sour.
Rachel took a deep breath. She always liked girls’ night, but tonight she had a specific goal: get their advice on the Ren thing.
“I have been dating,” she said slowly, then sat down next to Stacy. “I’ve been seeing Ren Chu again.”
Silence met this remark. Then Tessa piped up, “Who’s Ren Chu?”
“Her boyfriend from high school,” Stacy said, with a tone of shock.
“Who absolutely broke her heart,” Mallory added. “Just before he went off to college, right?”
Rachel squirmed with embarrassment and remembered pain. “Yes.”
“She called him to borrow his plane when I was in the desert,” Cressida said, shaking her head. “And… they just sort of connected.”
“He says he wants to give us another try,” Rachel said.
Another moment of shocked silence. “Wow. He’s got some balls on him, huh?” Mallory said finally.
“I know, right?” Hailey quickly agreed. “After all this time, just to act like ‘hey, sorry I was an asshole, let’s give it another go?’ I mean, who does he think he is?”
“Breaking up with someone doesn’t make them an asshole,” Kyla said, but she sounded a little unsure. “How did he break up with you?”
Before Rachel could respond, Hailey popped in. “He told her he was going to be too busy for her. That he wasn’t going to have time for her.”
“They both would’ve been studying,” Kyla said. “Maybe…”
“He didn’t prioritize her,” Hailey countered. “He basically said that he had bigger things to take care of, and he had to cut her off so he could go do them.”
“Did he really say that?”
Rachel bit her lip, then nodded.
The women made murmuring sounds of anger.
“What an asshole,” Tessa said.
“In his defense,” Rachel said, “he wasn’t wrong. We were three thousand miles apart. Long distance relationships are difficult. We probably wouldn’t have made it.”
“But you could’ve tried,” Kyla said. “Sounds like he didn’t want to.”
How could it still hurt this much after ten years? “He didn’t want to,” she said, in a small voice.
“So why are you dating him now?”
Rachel took a deep breath, wrapping her fingers around her mug of cocoa to comfort herself. “I don’t know. At first, it was… well, it was a little for revenge,” she admitted. “I wanted him to see how badass I was doing without him. Got all dressed up, the whole nine yards.”
Stacy smiled. “Good for you. God, who doesn’t want to get back at an ex that way?”
“But we just… clicked.” Rachel felt embarrassed. “He looks even better now than he did then. And… well
, before he was an asshole, he just had this way of making me feel special. He actually listened to my conversations and was emotionally supportive.”
“And then hung you out to dry.” Hailey crossed her arms.
“Go easy,” Cressida said to Hailey, patting her shoulder. “Stop pushing.”
“That’s what I’m worried about now,” Rachel said. “He was great… until he wasn’t. Until something more important came along. I don’t want to go through all that again. I don’t want to let my guard down again.”
The women looked at each other.
“I say don’t give him the opportunity,” Mallory said, shaking her head. “The guy sounds like a charmer.”
“I remember what they were like together,” Stacy protested. “I think that it genuinely killed him to break up with you, but he probably was doing what he thought was best. Also, I bet you anything his parents pressured him to do it. They were on his case hard to get good grades, work for the family business, all that.”
“It doesn’t help that they found out we’d been engaged for like a year,” Rachel admitted.
“You were what?” Stacy yelped. “Engaged? And you didn’t even tell me?”
“I didn’t tell anyone, except Hailey and Cress,” Rachel apologized. “We were so young. And Ren knew that his family would probably flip out about it.”
“Did they?”
Rachel nodded. “Apparently. It was about a week later that we broke up. I guess they sat him down and spelled out all the difficulties that we were going to face, being so far apart, and with his studies and all.”
“Did they by any chance tell rich boy that he’d be cut off from all funding if he married you?” Hailey asked.
“I don’t think they had to go that far,” Rachel said. “He was so intent on pleasing them, and they were so insistent… “
“So in the face of family pressure, he chickened out,” Mallory said. “Definitely steer clear of this guy.”
“He does still work for his family,” Stacy said, sounding troubled.
Rachel sighed. She’d wanted to ask for their advice – and the consensus seemed obvious.
Leave Ren alone.
“You don’t have to decide right away, do you?” Cressida said, obviously sensing her pain.
“She should cut this off sooner rather than later,” Mallory said, which had Hailey nodding. “The longer she hangs out with him, the more mixed up she’s going to get. And God forbid she sleeps with him.”
Rachel felt her face flame. Of course, Stacy picked up on it, laughing.
“Too late, huh?”
Hailey shot her a look of disgust. “Really?”
“You, Hailey, are going to give me a lecture on having sex with somebody?” Rachel said. Before Hailey had started seeing Jake, she’d had a strict love-‘em-and-leave-‘em policy.
“I’d love it if you were having more sex!” Hailey scolded. “Just not with assholes who broke your heart!”
“Was it good, at least?” Stacy asked, with an impish grin.
Rachel grinned back. “Outstanding.”
“Well, shit.” Mallory smirked. “Bit too late now.”
“Ultimately, it’s Rachel’s business,” Cressida said, her voice firm. “Whether she gets hurt or not, she’s a grown woman and can make her own choices.” She was looking at Hailey as she said that. “It’s disrespectful to assume that she can’t.”
Hailey looked disgruntled but nodded. “Sorry, Rachel.”
Rachel shrugged. “I gave him a week,” she said. “He’s got seven days to convince me why I should trust him, and that I should start dating him again.”
Stacy’s smile was wide. “Oooh.”
“I also said he couldn’t spend more than fifty dollars on any date,” Rachel added, feeling a little smug. “So he can’t just throw a lot of money into romancing me, he’s got to put thought into it.”
“I approve of that,” Mallory said.
“And I had a no sex clause, but… well, I wanted sex.”
The women burst into laughter.
Rachel laughed with them but felt an ache in her chest. All signs pointed to no when it came to Ren.
So why did she so badly want to say yes?
#
Having nothing better to do, Ren had done work in his home office the previous night. He wished like hell he could’ve seen Rachel instead. He respected her desire for a girls’ night, and he didn’t want to pressure her. But damn it, she couldn’t expect to give him one of the most memorable nights of sex in his life, and then to bounce away like it had meant nothing. He was trying to be understanding, and he had screwed up, but he wasn’t a doormat, damn it. He didn’t want what went on between them to feel cheap – and the way she’d gotten up and gone to the other room after sex had felt kind of like that.
Maybe you should talk to her about that tonight.
He closed his eyes. Tonight. He’d planned something special: something that fit under her budgetary cap, something that was (he hoped) thoughtful, something that she’d really enjoy. After that, he was torn. He didn’t want sex to screw up the ultimate goal here, which was to have Rachel back in his life. But the sex… dammmnn. If she said “hey, want to go back to your place?” he seriously doubted he had the willpower to say “no, let’s wait” just because he didn’t want things to get weird again.
But maybe he was getting ahead of himself. Maybe she wouldn’t want to have sex again. She said she was interested, but scared, and he wasn’t sure what side of the fence she was going to land on.
“Hey, Ren? Ren. Earth to Ren.”
He looked up to find Stephen there, looking nervous. Ren had been pissed at him since finding out he’d told Peter about keeping Ren’s schedule clear for his dates with Rachel. Stephen had explained that he was trying to keep the week cleared for him, and he couldn’t come up with another plausible reason Peter would understand. Ren forgave him, but he was still irritated.
“What is it?”
Stephen winced. “Um, your parents wanted to know if you have a few minutes to check in, in your father’s office.”
Ren frowned. “Do you know why?”
“No idea.”
Ren glanced at his computer. He wasn’t working on anything that couldn’t wait for a bit, he decided. He strolled out of his office, then took the elevator all the way to the top floor. His father’s floor, since it only housed his father’s office, the offices of his father’s three assistants, and a few miscellaneous meeting rooms.
“Hello, Mr. Ren,” Lorraine, his father’s primary assistant, said with a warm smile as he stepped out of the elevator. “Your family’s waiting in the sapphire room.”
“Thanks.” His family?
He headed over to one of the smaller conference rooms, one with a great view of the ocean. His parents were there, as were his younger brother Jian, and his younger sister, Meili.
“What’s going on?” he asked, feeling a little blindsided. “Was there something scheduled that I forgot about? We’re still meeting for brunch this weekend, aren’t we?”
“Actually, we’re not,” his father said. “I’m taking your mother to New York for the weekend. So we thought we’d catch up now, quickly. We know you’re all very busy.”
“I did have to shift a meeting,” Jian said, sounding a little irritated. His mother glared at Jian, who quickly fell silent.
“I need to get back to my sales calls,” Meili said. At twenty-three, she was the baby of the family, and she’d been working in sales at the highly successful cell phone component division. She was making good numbers, but still had a way to go before becoming a top earner. Or at least, that’s what his parents seemed to zero in on.
“Speaking of flying to New York,” his father said, with deceptive calm, “it came to my attention that you used the plane about a month ago, Ren. Or at least, you let someone use it.”
They all focused on him. He felt uncomfortably like a child being called up to the principal’s office at scho
ol. Of course, he’d often felt like that with his parents.
Not that he’d ever been to the principal’s, other than to receive some kind of commendation. His parents would have killed him.
“Anything you’d like to tell me?” his father prompted.
Ren tilted his head, studying his father. “I thought that we all had use of the planes, as long as they were available.”
“Of course we do. But you didn’t mention anything about it.”
Ren tightened his jaw. Not that it was any of their business – but this was the Chu family. Everything was their business, and after nearly thirty years, he knew better. “I loaned it to a friend. Her sister was having a medical emergency, and needed to get home immediately.”
“Oh, my,” his mother said, genuine concern on her face. “Is she all right?”
“She seems to be fine now. They send their appreciation.” Actually, Rachel would probably still offer money if he let her.
“Her sister.” His father picked up on the pronoun. “Who? Which friend?”
He knew that if he tried something like saying “does it really matter?” would only be waving a bone in front of a dog. “Rachel. Frost.”
Silence reigned. He could see the exact moment the memory of exactly who Rachel Frost was hit his parents. Since Jian already knew, he was trying as best he could to look impassive. Meili still looked puzzled.
“Who’s Rachel Frost?”
“His girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend. From high school,” their mother explained. “So. You were helping her and her sister with a medical emergency?”
He nodded.
His father stared at him. “She’s the one you’re dating now, then? The one you’ve been seeing?”
Jian shot him a look that said: you are so boned, dude.
“I don’t see how it’s relevant, but yes. I’ve gone out on a few dates with Rachel. Like I said, it’s new, and we’re taking it slow.” Way slower than he wanted to, that was for sure.
His mother sighed. “Do you really think that’s wise?”
Ship of Fools Page 10
