I scrambled upright, disengaging with a wince and spinning her to sit on my lap and face me. Naked and sticky, joined together in the most intimate of ways, Pim cupped my face with shaking fingers. “What?”
I didn’t know if I was right to ask. It was probably a stupid, stupid idea. But I needed her to know I was on board with the idea. That we had more than we could ever need. That we had help and trusted staff and a lifestyle that could be offered to countless others with no effect on us if we didn’t want it.
The more I thought about an unknown baby or child being abused or lost and unwanted, the more my OCD latched onto the injustice and grief.
Tess Mercer was right.
Sometimes, saving a life was better than creating one. And we had the ability to save multiple—if Pim could open her heart to the idea of sharing the colossal amount of love and fierce protection I knew existed within her.
Cupping her nape, I brought her forehead to touch mine. “You can say no, little mouse. You can say—”
“Yes.” She wound her arms around my neck, holding me close. Tears cascaded from her stunning green hazel eyes, drowning my heart and making me swallow thickly. “My answer is yes.”
I fractured at the sob hiding in her voice. I kissed her, licking away her tears. “Truly?”
She pulled back, more moisture tracking down her cheeks. “I’ll never give up hope that one day I might have a miracle and fall pregnant, but I’ve been thinking about it, too. We’re young, we haven’t been together all that long, but I just know in my heart it’s the right thing to do.”
I nodded, swallowing again as her entire being lit up with the purest kind of love. “I’ll get in touch with Mercer. See if we qualify.”
She smiled. “I think we’ll qualify.” Pim climbed off me, pulling my hand as she scrambled off the bed. “Come shower with me. Then we can write the email together.”
I couldn’t deny this woman anything and slid to the floor, narrowly missing Spot as he shot from beneath the bed and attacked my ankle with a fake growl.
Showering together calmed my rapid heartbeat and soothed the sudden nerves in my belly.
As we dried off, grabbed the laptop, and climbed into bed naked, my fingers shook as we opened a new document.
In one instant, Pim had agreed to marry me, irrevocably agreed to take my last name, share in everything I owned, and become family on paper as well as in heart. Not only had she given herself to me, but she’d also agreed to become mother to someone who needed a second chance.
Someone who had been saved just like her.
I already thought of her as my wife.
Therefore, as we typed the email ready to change our world and someone else’s, I signed the message the only way I could:
We’re ready to save a life.
Any life.
Elder and Tasmin Prest.
EXTENDED EPILOGUE
Extended Epilogue
______________________________
Pimlico
* * TWO MONTHS LATER * *
MONTE CARLO.
The city where I’d fallen in love, walked away from love, and been arrested.
The city where my life had truly begun again all thanks to Elder Prest, my fiancé, the love of my life, the man I was tying myself to in sickness and in health until death did us part.
Elder held my hand as we stared at each other. His black eyes on my green hazel. We’d arrived a few days ago and moved into the stunning house with the Asian accents and Mediterranean relaxation, perched on a hill overlooking the ocean Elder loved so much.
Selix had helped us arrange a marriage license and we’d gone shopping the day before for a simple suit for Elder and a basic white sundress for me.
Elder had sent invites to his family with no expectation of their acceptance, but for once, it didn’t gnaw at him or steal any of his happiness. He’d come to terms with what he’d lost but also with what he’d gained.
If I dared break eye contact and look to the side where our witnesses stood, I’d see Selix as Elder’s best man and Louise, a sweet maid from the Phantom, as my maid of honour.
Two witnesses to sign the marriage certificate once we said the magic words.
That was all we wanted.
Just us.
The under-decorated magistrate office held a flag of Monaco and some official looking banners. No flowers. No garlands.
It didn’t matter.
It could’ve been the most beautiful place on earth and I wouldn’t have noticed.
All I cared about was him.
My husband to be.
Elder squeezed my fingers as the justice of the peace asked, “And do you, Elder Miki Prest, take Tasmin Pimlico Blythe as your lawfully wedded wife? To cherish, protect, and worship for as long as you both shall live?”
Goosebumps ghosted over my arms as Elder smiled. “I do.” Twisting a little, he held out his hand to Selix who placed a ring I’d never seen onto his awaiting palm. Splaying my fingers of my left hand, he slipped it onto my digit along with a simple gold wedding band. My wedding and engagement rings given in one go.
Tears immediately glassed the sparkling diamonds, conjuring rainbows in my vision. The brilliant cut was simple, the diamond big and beyond flawless. It sat on my finger as if it had always belonged.
Elder leaned in, whispering, “I had Jethro Hawk give up another one of his diamonds. I think they suit you.” He ran his thumb over my penny bracelet as he cleared his throat and looked once more to the gentleman marrying us.
The justice of the peace turned to me, asking me the same slightly amended question. “And do you, Tasmin Pimlico Blythe, take Elder Miki Prest as your lawfully wedded husband? To adore, cherish, and love as long as you both shall live?”
I nodded, my heart dressed up in pretty flowers and nodding with all its ventricular might. “I do.”
Louise bent forward, passing me a ring I’d only just had commissioned in Monte Carlo. I’d had to judge Elder’s finger size from watching him sketch yacht drawings the week before. Once armed with measurements, I sent Selix on yet another errand to tell the jeweller who I’d bought from online to make the correct size.
The thick gold glinted as I pushed it onto his finger and read the engraved inscription aloud. “You did more than love me. You saved me.”
Elder clutched my hand so tight it hurt.
The justice of the peace closed his folder, clasping it in front of him. “I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
I expected Elder to peck me sweetly—to avoid the compulsion of his needs. We couldn’t jump into bed after this. We had another appointment to attend to.
Just as important.
Just as vital.
However, he launched himself at me, scooping me up and kissing me fierce.
Applause came from Selix and Louise as I kissed my husband back, just as fierce, just as violent for the very first time.
* * * * *
“Are you ready?”
I clutched Elder’s hand as we climbed from the black Town Car and made our way to the hotel where we’d agreed to meet.
“Not at all.” I laughed, doing my best to hide my nerves.
We’d just got married.
The timeline for a baby would normally be another few years, not a few minutes.
It’d been two months since we’d messaged Tess and Q about saving a life, and in that time, I’d flip-flopped between utmost elation and absolute terror. The responsibility of this decision had woken me up in the night in a full-blown panic attack only for Elder to calm me down and give me a chance to pull out only to induce another panic attack at the thought of not having what we’d already become so attached to.
Poor Spot didn’t understand why my emotions leapt from one extreme to the other. Only Elder knew because he felt the same way. We’d spent many a night talking in the dark, wondering if we were doing the right thing, discussing every outcome, testing every scenario.
But a
ll it came down to was the love we had for each other. The blessed situation we were in and the family we were desperate to create.
Elder gathered me close, wrapping his arm around me. His gold wedding band winked in the bright sunshine, binding him to me for eternity just like the flawless diamond on my finger bound me to him.
We can do this.
We are doing this.
“I can always keep the engine running if the brat’s ugly and you change your mind.” Selix nudged Elder with his shoulder, taking an extremely heavy situation and turning it light.
All of us still wore our wedding clothes—more dressed than we’d been in months while living in Fiji and other Pacific islands.
I’d watched Selix whenever we’d discuss the soon-to-arrive stowaway. His face had shut down at any mention of children, hinting that the pain he carried was in some way related.
I hadn’t enough courage yet or enough nosiness to ask him outright what’d happened but I hoped by saving one child’s life, it would somehow save him in return.
This adoption might have my and Elder’s name’s on the document, but the child would earn so much more than just us. They’d step into an already tight-knit, wonderful family with captains for uncles and skippers for playmates.
Entering the hotel lobby, we followed the directions Tess had sent in her email and took the elevator to the thirty-sixth floor. Selix stayed behind us, giving us silent support but letting us bear the brunt of this life-changing decision.
Finding the right room number, Elder took a deep breath, gathered me closer, then knocked.
Footsteps sounded inside before the handle unlocked and the door swung open.
“Pim. Elder. How wonderful to see you again.” Tess smiled, opening her arms for me to step into her embrace.
I hadn’t seen her since walking away after the bloodbath with the Chimmoku, but it felt as if it was only yesterday.
Giving Elder a quick glance, I traded his arms for hers, still shaken and amazed, unable to believe I’d become a wife and soon a mother all in one day. “Hello, Tess.”
“I’m so glad you made it.” She kissed me on both cheeks before stepping aside. “Please, come in.”
Elder accepted her welcome, looking past her into the room where Q appeared with his hands in his pockets. “Bonjour.”
“Hello.” Elder nodded in return.
We hadn’t told them we’d got married today. Not because we didn’t want them at our wedding, but because we’d wanted one last thing just for the two of us.
We were parents now. But our marriage was ours.
“Come,” Tess said, moving toward Q and holding out her hand for a tiny silhouette hiding behind him. “Let me introduce you to Aria.”
My heart wrapped itself in wire, bleeding with a mixture of fear and elation as a little girl stepped out from Q’s legs and watched us warily. She didn’t speak, but Tess had warned us of that.
This little girl had been saved from a trafficking house that held auctions for pregnant women to sadistic creeps. The women not sold in time had their babies in overcrowded bedrooms with other pregnant women, doing their best to shelter and keep their infant’s minds from twisting with evil from their environment.
Q had dismantled the organisation and managed to rehome most of the children and their mother’s—either together or separate, depending on the mother’s wish. Aria was the hardest one because she had yet to talk. Her mother had been killed in front of her, and families wanted a bubbly happy child and couldn’t understand the psychological depth of what muteness could offer as protection.
But I did.
Elder did.
We were prepared to either live with a silent child or nurture her until one day, just like me, she trusted her voice, herself, her surroundings, to give up that safety net and live.
“Hello, Aria.” I ducked to her level, studying her white blond hair and pink cheeks. Her ice blue eyes seemed eerily so much older than her four-year-old body. Too skinny for her age and preferring oversize boy clothes to nice fitting dresses, she was an enigma I couldn’t wait to get to know.
Elder came to join me, balancing on his haunches with his fingertips digging into the carpet for balance. “Hello, little one.”
Aria shied backward, eyeing us with suspicion.
We didn’t take it personally.
Tess had done a good job preparing us for the initial period, and we’d checked into the same hotel for the next few days to get to know Aria slowly, so she didn’t feel like yet another world had been snatched from her.
I’d like to say she leapt into our arms and overcame her fear that afternoon.
I’d like to say the next breakfast when we all met in our suite for room service, she understood how much we loved her already and no longer stayed too far away to be hugged.
I’d like to say our forage into parenthood was as easy as saying the binding words in our marriage ceremony...but it wasn’t.
And that was what made it so much more precious when on the second to last day, when Elder and I sat on the couch in Tess and Q’s suite sharing a cocktail and discussing Elder’s business, that Aria finally came toward me on her own accord.
She abandoned the Legos blocks we’d had bought her and willingly came closer. Her eyes latched onto my throat as I waved but didn’t speak. She cocked her head as if confused why my lips didn’t move.
I knew what it was like to be so focused on sound. And I knew what it was like to be comfortable with silence. I recalled what it was like to prefer muteness because it was the only power I had left, and for the first time in a very long time, I pilfered the hotel stationery and motioned her closer.
Inching toward the chair where I sat, she didn’t take her eyes off the paper as I drew a circle with a stick-man, stick-woman, and stick-girl all in the circle.
She traced the picture with her tiny finger as I slowly drew more stick-men on the outside, men with pitchforks and badly drawn guns. Things that no four-year-old should recognise but she did.
Shying back, she shook her head, staring at me accusingly.
I held up my hand, asking her to come closer again as I drew more and more lines around the circle protecting the stick family from the bad men outside, then pointed at Elder and myself and then her.
It took a few seconds, her face scrunched up until it smoothed out in understanding.
She might not be ready to write to No One, but she could understand drawings—no matter how bad—and she understood my message.
That we would protect her.
That we were hers.
That all she had to do was trust us and we would never, ever break that trust again.
Extended Epilogue
______________________________
Elder
WE ENDED UP staying in the hotel an extra week after Tess and Q returned to France.
We didn’t want to upset Aria by moving her so soon—not until she was ready.
Somehow, Pim had achieved the impossible and earned the little girl’s trust. They regularly sat for hours drawing nonsensical pictures which would make Pim nod and grab something Aria had asked for or for Aria to smile hesitantly.
She allowed me to come closer and sat beside me without flinching one night at dinner, and by the end of the second week, she eagerly sought out hugs from Pim and didn’t shy away when I hugged Pim in return.
When we finally took the plunge to take her back to our house in Monte Carlo, she blossomed.
The gardens became her favourite place to be, and Pim proved me right when I’d guessed she’d be an incredible mother. My heart somehow continued falling in love with both these girls, and for the first time in my life, my OCD faded in favour of just sitting and watching my new family.
A few months passed while we lived on the hill, and I grew itchy to be back on the ocean. One night, after Pim had put Aria to bed and we’d had a breakthrough with earning full-fledged laugh from our rescued daughter, she snuggled close in bed. “L
et’s return to the Phantom, El. I’m missing the ocean. I want to show Aria how perfect it is chasing the summer on the waves.”
The fact she’d embraced what I loved and made it as important to her as it was to me made me clutch her hard and kiss her.
The idea of being able to show Aria the life beneath the sea thanks to a silly submarine and watch her tear into toys that’d been unopened for years just waiting for someone to play with them filled me with joy.
We spent most of the night making love rather than sleeping, but I embraced my tiredness the next day as I told Jolfer to prepare the Phantom for her next voyage.
Last month, the ship Alrik had commissioned me to build had finished, and I’d presented the keys to Pim with a mixture of relief and disgust. The Hammerhead was the final thing tying her to her past. She could afford to run it now thanks to having half of everything I had, but instead of accepting the yacht, she requested a courier bag and my mother’s address in New York.
That night, she wrote a letter to the woman who’d forgiven me but still maintained her distance, sealed the keys and photos of the immaculate yacht, then posted them. She never let me read what she said, but the morning we left the house on the hill and took Aria shopping for some last-minute necessities in Monte Carlo shops, I received a phone call that I never expected to receive.
My mother accepted the gift Pim had given her.
She accepted me.
She enquired after her new granddaughter and asked if we could meet somewhere for a holiday where we could all finally learn to live in this new future rather than the tainted past.
I couldn’t believe Pim had once again given me something so priceless, and fear filled my veins that something would go wrong. I feared Aria would hate the sea, or she’d miss her garden, or she’d never talk to me or give me her trust.
But as we stood as a family on the deck and Jolfer blew the horn and the Phantom disembarked from her long slumber, Aria lit up in a way I hadn’t seen on land.
I almost had a heart attack as my daughter, the girl of my dreams and keeper of my heart, took my hand and pulled me down to her level.
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