by R S Surtees
He was now a great man. The M.C. card-plate was thrown aside, and a flourishing new one struck, on which Captain Doleful alone appeared, in the midst of a broad melancholy-looking black border. The captain was well up in the world. His own wealth, added to Miss Crabstick’s, made a man of him.
Poor Miss Jelly’s lodgings were deserted, and he returned to Handley Cross to occupy the best apartments at the Dragon Hotel. He brought with him the dear deceased’s baboon, three Angola cats, a parroquet, and a silver squirrel, all especially provided for by will, and charged with his attention, on forfeiture of a certain sum.
Great was the change in the manner of the people. Instead of the captain running about the town leaving cards on new-comers, and refreshing the minds of the old ones with his name, notes, cards, and invitations poured in apace, and he sat in his rooms considering who he should honour, and who not. His wealth was magnified into treble and quadruple its amount, and the old ladies were astonished that so attractive a young man should so long have remained single— “Not that they wished for anything of the sort now,” looking at their daughters, “but before he got all the money, they would have liked it well enough;” just as disinterested old ladies will talk, though they know nobody believes them.
So Doleful set up to be cock of the walk, and longed for old Jorrocks back, that he might snub him.
CHAPTER LXVI. JORROCKS IN TROUBLE.
DOLEFUL’S DAY OF triumph soon arrived, the monotony of Mr. Jorrocks’ summer life seeming likely to be more than compensated by the busy incidents of the autumn.
Scarce were the rejoicings for his victory over Doleful finished ere our worthy friend found himself involved in a more delicate and difficult dilemma than he had ever yet known. The report of the action about the horse having done good service to the London papers in the dulness of autumnal news, Mr. Jorrocks’ conduct and career had been greatly canvassed by cautious citizens, and among others by his next-of-kin, with whom our worthy friend had long been on indifferent terms, or rather no terms at all.
To the uninitiated, the idea of keeping a pack of hounds is looked upon as the surest proof of riches or ruin; an opinion that is periodically confirmed by the papers, in announcements of the great expense certain establishments are kept up at, Leicestershire and Northamptonshire being represented as hunted at an expense of five or six thousand a-year, though we dare say the present worthy masters would be glad if they got off for that.
The expense of Mr. Jorrocks’ hounds was estimated in a like ratio, though they did not perhaps cost much above as many hundreds. There are two ways of doing everything.
Without impeaching the motives of the parties, or indeed alluding to them in more than a general way, we may briefly state, that our worthy friend’s jollities or eccentricities at length earned for him a commission of lunacy.
After the necessary preliminaries, the Commission was opened in the long room of the Gray’s Inn Coffee-house, in Holborn, where the following highly respectable jury were sworn to inquire into the merits of the allegation: —
Mark Stimpson, Starch-manufacturer, Pimlico;
John Brown, Greengrocer, High Street, Borough;
Henry Hobbs, Feather and Court Head Dress Maker, Hatton Garden;
Richard Jones, Dustman, Edgeware Road;
John Lotherington, Shoemaker, Margaret Street, Cavendish Square;
Thomas Coxon, Poulterer, Hadlow Street, Burton Crescent;
William Smith, Islington, Toy-shop-keeper;
James Rounding, Minories, Cheesemonger;
Albert Dunn, Sweeting’s Rents, Newsman;
John Cook, Pentonville, Milkman and Cowkeeper
George Price, Long Acre, Gin-shop-keeper and Distiller;
John Shaw, Covent Garden, Fruiterer;
Thomas Boggon, Whitechapel, Nightman.
The Commission having been read, Mr. Mark Stimpson was elected foreman of the jury.
Mr. Martin Moonface, the celebrated Chancery lawyer, and Mr. Percy Snobb, appeared as counsel for the inquiry; Serjeant Horsefield and Mr. Coltman, as counsel for Mr. Jorrocks. Mr. Jorrocks appeared in court, taking his seat beside the learned sergeant, with two papers of Garraway’s sandwiches before him, one labelled “beef,” the other labelled “ham.”
The long room was crowded to excess, the greatest possible interest and sympathy being manifested by the numerous auditors who thronged every part of the house where hearing room could be obtained. An immense number of persons arrived from Handley Cross, and the revenue of the Lilywhite Sand Railway was considerably augmented in consequence. The usual preliminaries having been observed, and silence obtained, Mr. Percy Snobb briefly opened the proceedings, during which Mr. Martin Moonface kept inflating his cheeks, preparatory to his own “let-off.” Mr. Snobb having finished and sunk into his seat, and a proper time having elapsed, Mr. Martin Moonface rose with great solemnity, and addressed himself, promiscuously as it were, in a very deep and sonorous voice, thus: —
“I do not know that I can call to my recollection,” said he, “ever rising to address twelve honest Englishmen with such mingled feelings. of gratification and regret as I experience at the present moment.” Here he paused, and ran his eyes along the jurymen to catch a soft one, to whom he could more particularly address himself.
Having selected Mr. Rounding, the Cheesemonger, whose ample bald head and staring blue eyes gave sufficient evidence of vacancy, he proceeded:— “Gratification that I should have the advantage of so intelligent — so enlightened — so conscientious a jury, to weigh with poiseless balance the niceties, the delicacies, the subtleties, the intricacies, of this complicated case; and regret — deep and poignant regret — that such a step as the present should be found necessary against so meritorious and amiable an individual as the unfortunate gentleman against whom I now appear.” Here Mr. Martin Moonface heaved a heavy sigh, and looked at the back of his brief, on which was marked “50 guineas.”— “Believe me when I say, that nothing but that high sustaining power, the moral consciousness of doing right, could induce me to undertake so thankless — so ungracious, a task. No feeling of personal ambition, no consideration of worldly aggrandisement, could tempt me — I may say (and the learned gentleman said it with the most dignified emphasis) could tempt any member of the honourable profession to which it is my pride and glory to belong, to enter upon a case where his own honest, conscientious opinions did not convince him of the propriety — I may say, necessity of the step.” Mr. Moonface then unfolded his brief, and proceeded to pick out the first passage marked with a score in the margin.
“Gentlemen,” said he, “my learned friend, Mr. Snobb, has stated to you the nature of the business that has called us together this day, and in doing so, he properly confined himself to the simple outline usually confided to young gentlemen entering the profession, leaving to me the duty of substantiating the case and filling up the narrative in detail. The name of the gentleman whose state of mind you are this day called upon to consider, as my learned friend has already told you, is Jorrocks, head of the firm ‘Jorrocks and Co.,’ tea-dealers and grocers, in the City of London; and in his commercial relations, I am free to admit, that his character and conduct are not only irreproachable, but exemplary in the highest degree. Still, as is generally found to be the case in these inquiries, the blameless tenor of his grocer’s life is mixed up with a strong undercurrent of eccentricity, which has long been observable; and as the murmuring rill, strengthened by tributary streams, rolls on with growing strength until its force attracts the notice of the world, and calls for measures to restrain the torrent of its impetuosity, so Mr. Jorrocks’ oddity has gone on increasing until the present inquiry has become absolutely and indispensably necessary. And let me here observe, gentlemen of the jury, that the more futile and absurd the chimera that obtains possession of a man’s mind, the stronger and more forcible is the argument in favour of the restraining measure; for, assuredly, the farther an unhappy infatuation removes a man from the occupation of trade
and the pursuits of a rational being, the stronger and more urgent is the necessity for supplying, through the medium of a next-of-kin, the deficiency that calamity has occasioned.
“I may at once admit that the delusion under which the unfortunate gentleman labours, is one of great novelty, and one that I have experienced very considerable difficulty in making myself sufficiently acquainted with to enable me to describe to you. You, gentlemen, if I mistake not, are tradesmen, living in the heart of this great metropolis, and, like myself, have passed your lives in honest, industrious callings, in perfect ignorance of the way that men remote from towns contrive to waste that time which to us is so valuable and productive. You will hardly credit me, I dare say, but I speak under the correction of my learned friends on the other side, who will put me right if I err in the detail — you will hardly credit me, I say, when I tell you, that in some counties of England large assemblies of dogs are annually made, sometimes as many I am told as fifty or sixty dogs—”
“‘Ounds, you fool!” roared Mr. Jorrocks, from the opposite side of the table, indignant at the unsportsmanlike appellation.
“Gentlemen!” exclaimed Mr. Martin Moonface in astonishment, “I call your attention to the unfortunate gentleman. I think his conduct might warrant the closure of the business, even at this early stage of the proceedings, but if you, gentlemen, are not so fully satisfied in your minds of the situation that he is in as to render the further prosecution of the case needless, I must call on the Commissioners, in the exercise of the power with which they are invested, to afford me the protection and freedom from interruption to which I am entitled in the discharge of this most painful and difficult duty.” [Mutual shakes of the head and nods having passed between the gentlemen at the end of the table and Mr. Moonface, and Serjeant Horsefield having remonstrated in an under tone with his client, Mr. Moonface smoothed down his feathers and harked back to the point at which he was interrupted.]
“I was observing, gentlemen of the jury,” said he, again eyeing the cheesemonger, “that in some parts of the country annual hunts take place, for which large gatherings of dogs are made, and assemblies of people are to be found. How long this custom has prevailed, is immaterial to the present inquiry, but I believe I am instructed to say, that so far back as the year 1812 Mr. Jorrocks took an active — I may say, a prominent part, in the festivals — for such, I believe, is their character, that have been held in the county of Surrey.
“I should further inform you, in relation to these fêtes, or festivals, that a master or manager of the revels is annually chosen by ballot or otherwise, and the person so elected has the absolute government of the dogs and their doings during the period of his elevation. Accompanying Mr. Jorrocks onward then from his prominent though subordinate situation in the county of Surrey, we at length find him — I think it was in the course of last winter — elected the premier of a festival (here Serjeant Horsefield intimated in a whisper that the technical term was hunt) — I thank my learned friend,” continued Mr. Moonface,— “hunt is the term — elected the premier of a hunt, called the Handley Cross Hunt, and it is, gentlemen, his doings in that capacity that you are more particularly called upon to examine, to form an opinion of the soundness or unsoundness of his understanding.
“I do not know that I am in a situation, nor is it perhaps material to the present inquiry, to explain the nature of the duties connected with the office of a hunt-master; but it must be apparent to you all, that if a person accepts a situation so totally dissimilar to his usual avocations, considerable detriment must arise to his private affairs; and, perhaps, it is not possible to imagine two things more unlike than the calm, reflective genius of a grocer’s business, and the noisy, boisterous, clamorous — riotous, I may say, accompaniment of a hunt management. Not only are the two occupations totally incompatible, but their natural consequences are utterly dissimilar; for one is the honest course of sober industry, pointing, with cheering hand, to that brightest, noblest summit of all mercantile ambition, the possession of the lord-mayor’s gilded coach and six, with glittering trumpeters and men in armour, while the other points downwards upon unhallowed scenes of riot and confusion, days made horrible with yelling, and nights spent amid the wildest, the most unprofitable debauchery.
“Thus, gentlemen of the jury, arises the cause of the present inquiry. The promoters of it say that Mr. Jorrocks is neglecting his business, and dissipating his means in mad and unnatural pursuits; while the law says, and wisely does it say it, that a man is not to be permitted to waste his substance in idle, wild, and unprofitable speculations; and when acts are committed which militate against good sense, it becomes the duty of those who are interested in the preservation of a family to call twelve honest, enlightened, conscientious men together to consider the acts that have been committed, and to ask of themselves whether they are the acts of a man blessed with sound discretion, or the acts of one who, though shrewd and intelligent in many respects, is yet visited with some unfortunate weakness that tends to nullify and destroy all the other faculties of which he may be in possession.
“Now, gentlemen, it becomes my duty to explain that there are two sorts of idiots; one the natural-born fool, that hath no understanding from his nativity, and therefore is by law presumed never likely to attain any; and the other a lunatic, or one non compos mentis, who hath understanding, but who, from disease, grief, brandy-and-water, or other accident, hath lost the use of his reason. That great man and commentator, Judge Blackstone, says, ‘A lunatic is one who hath lucid intervals; sometimes enjoying his senses, and sometimes not, and that frequently depending upon the change of the moon.’ Sir Edward Coke, another great legal luminary, places under the head of non compos mentis not only lunatics, but all persons under frenzies. I would particularly direct the attention of the jury to that term, conveying, as it does, a nicer definition of what may be considered sufficient to deprive a man of the custody of his affairs than any other that I am acquainted with. ‘Not only lunatics,’ says the learned judge, ‘but all persons under frenzies,’ — all persons, in fact, suffering from distraction of mind, alienation of understanding, or any violent passion, for such, I take it, is the meaning of the word frenzy.
“In all times, under all circumstances, the preservation of a man’s property has been considered worthy the attention of a civilised government. By the Roman law, if a man by notorious prodigality was in danger of wasting his estate, he was looked upon as non compos, and committed to the care of curators, or tutors, by the prætor: ‘Solent prætores, si talem hominem invenerint, qui neque tempus neque finem expensarum habet, sed bona sua dilacerando et dissipando profundit, curatorem ei dare, exemplo furiosi: et tamdiu erunt ambo in curatione, quamdiu vel furiosus sanitatem, vel ille bonos mores, receperit.’ And by the laws of Solon such prodigals were branded with perpetual infamy.
“Gentlemen, the promoters of this inquiry are actuated by none but the purest, the best of motives; they do not seek, by a long retrospective search, to expose the foibles of the unfortunate object of the inquiry, to brand him with idiotcy from his birth, or to disturb those commercial transactions with which his name, in connexion with the firm to which he belongs, has blended him: all they ask is to dissolve the ridiculous establishment of which he is the head, and to cancel the obligations that may have arisen out of it.
“I have already stated, that in the autumn of last year Mr. Jorrocks allowed himself to be dubbed the Master of the Handley Cross Hunt; and it is from that period that we seek to annul his transactions, and to declare his incompetency to manage his affairs. A violent, a sudden, an uncontrollable frenzy seems to have seized him at the time; for not only did he neglect his warehouse, but absolutely shut up his house in Great Coram Street — a house that I am instructed to say is superior to any in that street — and took one in the town of Handley Cross, in order, as he said, to be nearer the Hunt. His acts there became of the wildest and most eccentric description: he arrayed himself in a scarlet coat with a blue colla
r, something like a general postman’s, and rode about the country, surrounded by dogs, whooping and holloaing, and blowing a horn: he converted the festivals, which had formerly been few and of periodical occurrence — something, I presume, like the Epping Hunt, of which you all have probably heard — he converted them, I say, into a regular downright matter of daily business, and whoever did not join him was treated with contempt, and if any one over whose land he trespassed in riotous confusion dared to remonstrate, he was laughed to scorn, or threatened with violence.
“I can hardly expect you to credit the assertion, that men moving in the higher walks of life, — men to whom the public are wont to look for precept and example, abandoned their lawful callings and the elegances of life, and joined the infatuated train of this unfortunate gentleman. Train bands of men in scarlet moved about the country, striking terror into the minds of elderly ladies, and disturbing the peaceful course of husbandry and trade. Wherever it was known that one of these field-meetings was to be held, it was made in open defiance of the statute against ‘riots, routs, or unlawful assemblies;’ trade was suspended, and the plough stood still. If any one were inclined to censure the present proceedings, or stigmatise it as an act of harshness and severity, I would here entreat him to pause and consider the position in which this deluded, — this unhappy individual has been placing himself and his followers. So far from continuing of that opinion, I think, he will hail it as one of the brightest, most beautiful blessings of our jurisprudence, that the law steps in through the medium of a next-of-kin, and rescues a man from the consequences of his own unhappy rashness. The wasteful, profligate expenditure of his substance is not the only charge against Mr. Jorrocks; he has outraged the law of the land, and sought the vengeance of offended justice.
