Don’t dawdle, she said. I’ve got things to do.
He went to the Starlight Diner and got a cheeseburger and a milkshake and brought it back to eat at the front desk. When he finished his meal he looked over and saw the sleeping woman was gone and he figured she’d left, just another napper looking for somewhere cool to pass the hot hours, but as soon as he had the thought I’ll never see her again she appeared from the bathroom.
Why didn’t you tell me the computers were working, she said.
I didn’t want to wake you, he said.
She smiled at him. He was frozen.
I need your help, she said.
He followed her to a computer and she showed him a document. He noticed she was wearing her bonnet again.
Do you know how I can get in touch with these people, she asked.
It was a deed of sale to a house on South Mulberry Street.
Who do you want to get in touch with exactly, he asked.
The people who sold this house, she said.
Farber looked at the document closer.
It looks like the insurance company sold the house, he said. Was this a foreclosure?
I don’t know, she said. Maybe. I don’t know anything about this stuff.
Me either, he said. Looks here like it was sold to a property-management company.
He googled it and found their website.
Do you think I could use your phone, she asked.
You can use the one behind the front desk, he said.
She smiled again and Farber felt a sudden connection to her. The business with her changing clothes didn’t seem as strange anymore. He wished he’d known her for a long time.
Do you mind watching my kid for a second, she asked.
Sure, he said. I can see her from the desk.
The child was sleeping in the big chair and she was wearing her bonnet again, too. The woman stood by the desk and dialed the numbers for the company.
Hi yes, she said. I’m calling about a property on South Mulberry that was recently sold. 241. Yes, exactly. I was wondering what happened to the former owner. Uh, huh. No, the owner before that. Oh. When? I see. OK, thank you.
She hung up the phone and sat down in front of the computer and started to do more searching. The hours melted by and Farber searched for new powers to give his avatar and watched cartoons on a tiny TV. Karen didn’t buzz down to him all afternoon and without even noticing, it was almost five, an hour before closing. People began to wrap up their business. The woman came to the desk again and asked Farber if she could use his phone again.
Sure, he said. No problem.
He loved the way she stood and held the phone and wrapped the cord around her fingers.
Yes, hi, she said. I’m looking for one of your residents, Mrs. Miller. Yes. Right. Well, I’m her daughter. Uh, uh. Can you check again. OK. Can I talk to her? I see. OK. Thank you. I’ll try again later. Goodbye.
She hung up.
Did you find what you were looking for, Farber asked.
I think so, she said. Thanks for all your help.
He realized they were alone. The library was peaceful and quiet. His favorite time of day.
So do you live around here, Farber asked.
I used to, she said.
Then she turned and paused.
Where’s my baby, she asked.
What, he said.
My child, she said. Where is she?
Right over there, he said and pointed to the empty chair. Well, she was right there a minute ago.
I told you to watch her, she said.
I’m sorry, he said. She couldn’t have gone far.
Carolina, she yelled. Carolina where are you?
2
AS SHE RAN THROUGH THE LIBRARY screaming for Carolina, Cleo thought of the night she left Harmony five years before. It was in the frantic days after the fire. Rain fell with Old Testament authority. Thick mud made some streets impassable but she drove on anyway despite the warnings on the radio that cautioned her in a weird robotic voice, breaking up the midnight classical station. She tried to smoke a cigarette but couldn’t find a lighter. Water crept into the Jeep’s canvas top and she could no longer see the road. As she made a turn before a bridge, she hydroplaned. The Jeep spun around three times and came to a sudden stop in a ditch just shy of the bridge. The headlights illuminated the violent winds up high in the dark magnolias. She was detached from the darkness for a moment and her heart gravitated toward a pure and intoxicating light. A death angel, she thought, until she remembered she didn’t believe in such things.
Get away, she said to the light.
She was sure of the light, but couldn’t decide its meaning or origin, only that her eyes were fading into it. Many hours passed but they were minutes to Cleo.
She remembered the light as she searched the library for Carolina. Through the history section and anthropology and life sciences. Carolina was always such an anxious girl, she thought. Even in the womb. Always struggling to get out. Almost clawing me to get free. Cleo thought of Caroline already growing inside her three weeks when the Jeep ran off the road that night five years before. She didn’t know it then. It would be confirmed weeks later when she was already rescued. After the pickup truck found her, the bearded rain-soaked men and their dark silhouettes behind their flashlights, knocking on the Jeep as she woke. A tear of blood running down from her lips. They asked her if she was OK and she turned her head to see if she knew where she was and it was only the blinding light from the flashlights and the wet night behind it.
I don’t know how I got here, she said.
As the men guided her, drenched and whimpering, into their old truck, and as they drove her past fallen trees and ruined houses, she realized she’d been driving straight into something terrible and if it wasn’t for her tires giving out at that exact moment she would’ve been sucked away into oblivion. Many times in the years after she wished for exactly that. To have been swept away, but she wasn’t, and she lived and the baby, the baby girl she named after her home state, lived too.
Carolina, Cleo screamed now throughout the library. She saw the guy in the fedora again. His mouth was slack and awful. He was like a thin version of a fat man. She’d pitied him when she was waiting outside but could see that in another life they could’ve been friends. She sensed in him a deep pain.
Carolina, she yelled. This isn’t funny.
The guy in the fedora came to her.
I told you to watch her, she said.
She sat down and cried. She was struck back into the past. Time slipped away. Her life rewound until it stopped at the place when she came to believe in God. It was a slow process. Eventually her former feelings of doubt became a relic inside her. It was something about finding out she was with child. By then she had been on the compound with the bearded men and their women in bonnets for many months. They told her it was a sign and that it meant that she was destined to be among their chosen flock. For her, it was a functional thing. She couldn’t have had the child by herself. She couldn’t face her parents. So she thought why not pretend for a while.
The group that rescued her called themselves disciples of Christian naturalism and worshiped a Jeremiah Vanderlip who believed there were devils in your bloodstream and you should never wear red. They called themselves the Yellow Children of God. They gave Cleo clothes, long dresses. They had mountains of food each night, fresh from the farm. She had her own room overlooking the fields and woke each morning to the smell of dark coffee and bacon frying. There was little knowledge of the outside world, which was just fine with her. She didn’t want to read about Iggy and the fire.
There was a school there but they didn’t make her go. They believed teens who were pregnant were closer to God. But after she had the baby, midwifed by an older woman, they made her a teacher at the nursery. One of
the boys, he was almost twenty, with strong green eyes named Jamie stopped her one day on her way to work.
So you’re our virgin mother, he said.
I’m not a virgin, Cleo said.
I was kidding, he said.
She smiled and he seemed to take her smile and imprison it. She fell in love with Jamie the same way she fell in love with Jesus, out of habit. Each morning at dawn she woke the children. She ate breakfast in the sun and was with children all day. She loved the children but wanted to be with someone her own age. Jamie was always there when she was done with her day. They all ate dinner at a long table. The whole fellowship.
Jesus is always with you, Jamie said on their first date.
Is that so, Cleo said.
But after a while, quite unexpectedly, she thought a lot about the idea of an all-knowing something out there. She felt that Jamie was worthy of her secrets and she told him about the night before the fire with Iggy, and how she’d been sleeping with Paul without Iggy knowing it. She was with Paul when he died. She couldn’t bring herself to get rid of the baby. It was the only thing left of Paul.
Jamie gave her a hug.
I love you, he said. Jesus does, too.
Cleo married Jamie not long after that and they lived together in a house he built for her on a hillside. Late nights they stayed up talking, early mornings she walked the dog and he made the coffee. He always was gentle with Cleo and kind with Carolina.
Then one morning Jesus came to her on a walk. He spoke to hear as real as any man.
I’m not your father, Christ said. I am your brother.
Cleo stopped walking, unsure if she was hallucinating.
I will be with you along the way, Christ said. Look for me and you will find me.
She saw Jamie playing with Carolina in the grass and thought, If God gives him kindness then I’ll believe in God. Then she said his name out loud.
Jesus, she said. I believe in you.
She told Jamie that night and he thanked her for being honest.
I knew you were doubtful, he said. Since the day I met you.
He kissed her.
There were months of bliss and they lived a life of freedom. Then one night he came to her.
I have something I want to tell you, he said.
He got up and shut the door. It was late and they had been drinking muscadine wine.
I hope you won’t judge me, he said.
How bad can it be, she thought to herself. He is my husband. He has trusted me. I will stand by him no matter what.
I’ve been chosen to have another wife, he said.
Cleo sat in silence. She knew the elders had many wives, but it had never crossed her mind that Jamie would take another one.
Well you told them no, right, she asked.
Jamie shook his head.
This could be a really big deal for us, he said. No one gets a second wife at my age. I could be an elder in ten years.
It’s because of Carolina, Cleo said. She’s not your daughter.
No, Jamie said. You don’t understand.
I don’t think you do, Cleo said. I won’t live like this.
What I say goes, he said. I’m the head of this household.
Later that night, after Jamie was asleep, Cleo went to Carolina’s room and held her. She wrapped her in a sling around her breasts, climbed out the window, and walked down to the elders. She barged in on them drinking by the fire.
My baby is sick, she said. I need the truck.
You can’t come in here like this, they said.
Cleo always hated the elders. They were old disgusting men who knew nothing of the world.
My baby is sick, she said again. I need the truck.
One of us will drive you, they said.
No, I need to do this on my own, she said. It’s private. A lady’s matter.
Where is your husband, they asked.
There was a knock at the door.
Haven’t we had enough interruptions for one night, the elders said.
It was Jamie.
Deeply sorry, he said. I’ll take care of this.
Very well, the elders said. Be gone.
That was the first night Jamie beat her with his belt. After he was finished, he felt sorry and tried to talk her out of leaving. Time moved like this in a cycle. Beatings and begging until she formed a plan. She waited for many weeks until he let his guard down. She and Carolina could sometimes ride to town with the elders when they went to the farmers market. Jamie had been wary, but that week he said it was OK. As soon as they arrived at the farmers market she ran to a policeman and demanded he take her back to Harmony. She was in trouble. The cop said there was nothing he could do. She’d have to make a report. Jamie beat her for two days straight for that episode. Then there was nothing for a month. No beatings. The days dragged on as they always did. They began to talk about his birthday. He told her he was saving up.
What do you mean, she asked.
You’ll see, he said.
When the day came they had dinner, opened presents, sang Happy Birthday. Cut cake and put Carolina to bed then sat by the fire.
It’s time for my present, he said.
We opened gifts already, she said.
My other present, he said.
He got out a picture.
This is Jacqueline, he said. She’s from the settlement in Love Valley. She’ll be joining us by Christmas.
How old is she, Cleo asked.
Fifteen, Jamie said.
I hate you, she screamed. I won’t live with her.
Quiet, he said.
He punched her and she fell to the ground. Then he laid on top of her. She tried to kick him but he hit her again. With each blow, she got stronger. Every time he hit her she hit him back harder. He grabbed her by the throat. Darkness was closing but she kept hitting. She felt herself going limp but before she passed out a shaft of light fell on them. He stopped choking her. Carolina was at the door.
Go back to bed, Jamie screamed.
He moved toward Carolina.
Cleo jumped on his back and pulled his hair until he fell backward and hit his head on the hardwood.
She grabbed Carolina in one hand and a fire poker in the other. Without thinking, she went down hard toward his face. Deeply with each blow. She closed her eyes and hit until he fell to the ground begging her to stop. She ran out the door to the elders’ house. They were playing cards. She knocked.
What, they said.
I need the truck, she said.
For what, they asked.
She saw the keys on the table, grabbed them, and ran out the door. They ran after her but she was too fast. She drove through the night to Harmony to her old house. It was empty. She slept in the truck bed with Carolina close to her. Nothing was open at that hour. She had no money and drove around until she saw the new library and parked in the lot and waited for it to open.
3
TRUDY HEARD THE COMMOTION in the library from the reading room upstairs. She went there in the afternoon because it was cool and quiet in the summer. Five years before they’d scattered Johnny’s ashes into the Bluebird River, as he requested, so the library was the closest thing to a headstone. Trudy loved to get lost in some thick novel all alone up there and dream of Johnny.
After the fire she became a minor celebrity. Donation money began to pour in and she set up a foundation to build the new library. She also met a man. His name was Ringo P. Wilson, a highway patrolman. After the fire he was charged with protecting her. He sat in a patrol car for weeks outside her house. He was a thick, tall man. A former linebacker and captain in the Marines. After the fire there were death threats against Trudy’s life. Some kind of conspiracy theory. People claimed she was a crisis actor.
I want you to stay close to me at all time
s, Ringo would say when they went anywhere.
She didn’t mind being close to him. She loved how tight and clean his uniform was. How he made little jokes to her as they went to and from the car.
To Trudy, he felt like the men she used to date when she was a teenager, before she met her husband. Easy men, who knew what they wanted. It felt good to be held again. It happened one night as he brought her home from the store.
I’m off duty now, he said.
So, she said.
I thought maybe, he said. Maybe we could, you know, relax together.
You thought wrong, she said and went inside. A second later she came back out.
I’m just kidding, she said. Get in here.
He was gentle with her and they never left each other’s side for the next four months. Spending their nights together drinking cheap wine and watching reality TV. They got married at the new Baptist church and honeymooned in Gatlinburg.
She often thought of how life was a paradox. She wished so much that Johnny and Ringo could have met. But if Johnny hadn’t died she would’ve never had this happiness with Ringo.
She heard someone screaming downstairs.
Carolina, the voice shouted. Where are you?
The young woman screamed, her tan deep brown. Trudy walked downstairs. The girl was frantic. She touched her on the shoulder and stared into her eyes. Told her to take a deep breath.
I’m Trudy, she said. What’s your name?
I’m Cleo, the girl said.
Cleo turned to her, recognizing her.
Do I know you, Cleo said.
I don’t know, she said. I’m Trudy. Do you know me?
I can’t find my daughter, Cleo said. Have you seen her?
Stay close to me, Trudy said. I know she’s around here somewhere.
They walked through the stacks, each one, calling Carolina’s name.
The Ancient Hours Page 6
