I surge my hips up to meet his, forcing him deep inside as my body stretches to accommodate and accept the welcomed intrusion. “Fuck, baby.” His forehead drops to mine. His hot liquor and smoke tainted breath fanning over me. “So damn greedy and eager.” Lips crashing against mine, cock rooted in me, James makes love to me. I feel it and he does too. We’re tethered together for life. Us against the world. A world that will never understand the way I feel for him. How deep this love I’m feeling goes.
We’re one in the same him and I.
Misunderstood.
Unwanted.
We don’t belong anywhere but here.
His hard body melded to mine.
My damaged soul mating with his.
Two halves of one whole.
My motorcycle man.
His broken girl.
Slick with sweat our bodies rock moving together as though we’ve been through the motions a million times. Three small but powerful words hang on the tip of my tongue and die there. I know better. He can’t give me my unspoken prayer, but I want it anyway. That pretty fantasy where I’m his Old Lady and he’s my man. But outside of these walls it will never come to fruition. So for now I take what I can. A drunken mistake on his part, and a promise to love him forever tattooed on my heart.
We go at each other like savage beasts. Rolling around in the sheets, the headboard beating the wall, like it’s knocking on Heaven’s door or maybe the gates of Hell. There is nothing holy about our union. I know we are a million shades of fucked up and wrong, but it feels right. I’ve never felt more alive than I do here with him.
James thrusts harder and deeper, hitting me in all the right spots. My body hums like a live wire. I come alive for him, giving as good as I’m receiving.
Back on top I hold his palm to my heart showing him what my words can’t express. He owns me. I ride him fast then slow, repeating the rhythm until my body quakes, another orgasm rips through me. My lover knifes his hips up, cock jerking inside me, painting the walls of my pussy with his release.
When it’s over, he hugs me to his chest. Our bodies still connected. My pulse racing. His heartbeat thumping in my ear. Lips to my forehead he whispers, “I’m sorry, Lex. I should’ve been stronger.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t ruin this. I’ve never felt more alive than when you look at me, James. The little things you do. The brush of your fingertips on my cheek. The rhythm of your heart beating against mine. The way our bodies fit together perfectly. All the tiny fragments that add up and blend into the whole picture of you. I love you. I don’t care if that makes me a horrible person. No one has ever given a shit about me. Not until you. Tomorrow you can be sorry. You can hate me if you want, but not tonight. It belongs to me. You belong to me.”
“What if I don’t want it to end?”
I quirk a brow at him. “That you or the liquor talking?”
“Both.” His large hand cradles the back of my head and brings me in for a kiss so raw and beautiful my heart nearly beats out of my chest. He goes hard again inside me. Thumb pressed to my lips to silence me he has one request. “Get on your knees for me.”
I do what he wants even though it’s breaking me to do so. Being with him any other way I can do, but this...the position I was assaulted in has those flashes of torment I keep trying to bury rearing their ugly heads and vile threats. “You’re lucky to be alive.”
Dropping my head, I close my eyes as tears begin to fall. The bed shifts with his weight as he moves behind me. Biting my lip, I cry out when James presses down on me. I know he won’t hurt me. He’s not them. I shake my head. “I can’t.”
“This how they took you? Hold you down. Make you beg?”
“Shut up.”
“Got to face it, baby. Don’t give them that power over you. Take it back.”
“You weren’t there. You don’t understand.”
“I know I wasn’t. If I were, they’d already be dead.” Lips pressed to my spine, he traces the curve, dragging his lips slowly across my skin, rubbing me with his facial hair. “Never hurt you.” An arm goes around my middle, holding me up. I lay my head back on James’s shoulder, dropping my ass against his crotch and he slides right in. “This body is mine to take. You gave it to me, pretty girl.” Pulling both arms behind my back he binds them with his bandanna then shoves me forward again down on my knees, face and chest pressed into the mattress.
I draw in a sharp breath and focus on him and him alone.
“I know you think they broke you, but I’m putting you back together again.” His palm slaps my ass cheek, curving to hold me there as he thrusts deeper in. “Give it all to me. Your pain. Your beauty. Let go for me.” Teeth dragging across my shoulder he bites me. Not hard or rough but in a playful nip. Body slapping against mine he takes that horrible memory and turns it into dust. Giving me something good in its place.
Giving me all his beauty and sparks of color in a darkened and fucked up world that will never accept the way he makes me feel. I know I’ll love him forever. People will say I’m too young. They won’t understand. He sees the real me. The girl who hides behind the idea of who people expect me to be.
When others tell you who you are enough eventually you become that version of yourself even when it feels wrong.
But this isn’t wrong. This is who we are. Two wandering souls connecting in the only way we know how to. Skin to skin. Mouth to mouth. He ravishes my body, taking and taking until I have nothing left but my aching soul. With one final thrust he shudders and quakes, his cock jerking inside me, filling me completely.
Pulling out he rolls off the bed, unbinds my wrists, and brings me with him. In the bathroom, this man handles me with care, wiping away the remnants of his passion that’s running down my thighs. Neither of us speak. We don’t need to. We both know that I’d be happy if tomorrow never comes. After I fall onto the bed and he holds me close. Nothing passes between us except shallow breaths and unspoken promises of what can never be.
I lay with him, stroking my fingers along his skulls and roses that are inked over his chest. My bad man. My lover. My protector. He doesn’t know it, but I do...James—Murder...he’s gonna be my world.
Grabbing my hand, he threads his fingers with mine and kisses my knuckles. “Get some sleep.”
I wish I could but I’m afraid that once I close my eyes this...him...we’ll disappear. He’ll be gone, and all it will have been is a fantasy that felt all too real.
I close my eyes and fall asleep quicker than I wanted to.
Morning comes too soon, returning us to reality. To a world where we can’t exist. But for one night I had everything I ever wanted, and it was all I dreamed it would be and more. I awaken with his heavy body curled around mine. Our legs tangled together. My cheek pressed to his tattooed chest. His heartbeat drumming a soothing melody in my ear. The only sound I want to hear forever.
The ringing of his cell phone interrupts our bliss. James curses under his breath, and I go to move away, but he holds me tighter. It’s unexpected but welcome. Part of me was afraid that we’d wake up and he’d be chock-full of liquid regret.
The ringing continues, sounding like a warning that our minutes together are fleeting.
“Should you get that?”
He grunts and slides away, tagging his phone from his jeans as he goes to the bathroom. I stay where I lay and pray that this isn’t all there is for us. If I lose him, I don’t know if I can survive. I’m not strong enough. I need him to save me from the monsters out there waiting to hurt me, but no one can hurt me more than I hurt myself but him.
Chapter Nine
“Yeah. I’m still out of town.”
“I found what you’ve been searching for.”
“You’ve crated the dog?”
“Yup. Scrappy pup.”
“I’ll be there to start the training as soon as possible.” Ending the call with Slick, I knew he wouldn’t let me down. I glance at Alexa. She’s curled up under the covers staring at me
all wide and starry-eyed. Fuck. Last night shouldn’t have happened, but I’m not sorry. I should be, but I’m not. Best night of my damn life. How fucked up is that. Yeah, I was drunk. It’s no excuse. I knew what I was doing and who I was doing it with. I know what that says about me, only I can’t find it in me to care.
“Get dressed. We need to talk.”
“Yeah. Sure.” Her lips turn down, and I don’t want to hurt her, but we both know that when we leave this room whatever this is and was is all it can ever be. I get my jeans on and dig the other pill that was tucked in with the antibiotics.
Alexa slips from the bed with the sheet wrapped around her. Blonde hair all mussed up, looking like a goddess. Swollen lips and flushed cheeks. I grab her arm as she goes to pass me by. “I don’t regret last night.” She stares up at me with unshed tears glittering in her eyes. “Don’t cry.”
“Let me go.”
“You need to take this.” I shove the pill between her lips and don’t offer an explanation. It’s a morning after pill. I shouldn’t have fucked her, but I did. My stomach churns as she sticks her tongue out to show me she swallowed it down. “Good girl.” I hold her gaze for a minute then let her go. Alexa disappears into the bathroom, and I go out to the truck and grab the envelope Slick gave me. Helping her disappear is the best thing I can do for her. Alexa needs away from West Virginia. Away from me because if she stays, I know I’ll only ruin her.
Back in the motel room, Alexa is sitting at the table. Her bag is on the bed zipped and ready. I drop the envelope on the table and pull out the other chair. “If you could go anywhere in the world and start over where would you go?”
Her shoulder lifts. The left corner of her mouth twitches. “I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it.”
“Bullshit. Everyone thinks about it. What’s the first place that comes to your mind?”
“I don’t want to play this game.”
“I don’t play games, Lex. Not with this. Not with you. Best thing I can do for you is make Alexa Neville disappear for good. So, tell me, pretty girl. Where do you want to go? What do you want?”
“You want rid of me.” She stares blankly out the window at the parking lot.
“I can’t be the man you want me to be. Last night shouldn’t have happened. I’m not sorry, but this has to end before it goes any further.”
“Right. Just like the rest of them. You don’t really want me. I’m too much of a problem. I get it, but don’t sugarcoat it and treat me like I’m stupid. You want me gone so your wife doesn’t find out. So Rochelle doesn’t find out you fucked her best friend.”
“It’s not like that. Don’t cheapen last night to that.”
“No. Then what’s it like? Enlighten me.”
“I don’t know what I can say except that I’m keeping my promise to make it right for you. Got something to take care of, and I gotta leave you somewhere safe while I do that. You don’t have to decide now, but I need you to think about what you really want.”
“Where are you taking me?”
“To the one person I trust most in this world.”
“Your sister?”
“Yeah. Let’s go. Put that in your bag and keep it safe. Everything you need to start over is in there. Access to a bank account. Identification.”
“Got it.” She jumps up quickly and the hurt in those pretty green orbs cuts me deeper than it ought to. Alexa stuffs the envelope in her bag, and I tell her to wait in the truck while I go check out.
When I’m done, the truck is empty. Fucking hell. She couldn’t have gotten far. I look across the street and down both sides of the sidewalk and that’s when I see her getting into the back of a cab. If I were smart, I’d let her go, but I got to see this through and make sure she knows once she’s gone, she can’t come back.
The cab starts down the road and I step into its path. The driver blows his horn at me, but I don’t budge. “What the fuck, man?” He hangs out the window shouting at me.
“Get out of the car, Lex.” I practically growl the words. The driver takes one good look at me and my leather cut then shuts the car off. Smart choice. I fling the back-passenger door open and jerk her out the car. “Don’t be a stupid brat.”
She says nothing, coming with me willingly.
We get on the road and she’s giving me the silent treatment. It’s for the best. She should hate me. I need her to make the choice because I don’t know that I’m strong enough to let her go on my own. I must be fucking crazy. My life is falling apart and yet all I can think about is her. Keeping her safe. But to do that I gotta let her go. Send her out into the world to live a better life than I can give her if she stays here. I don’t know what the hell she’s done to me. Put me under some sort of fucking spell or what because for her I’m feeling ready to burn the world down.
“You want breakfast?”
No response.
“You thirsty?”
She continues to gaze at the scenery out the passenger window. Eventually I hear her messing with the wrapper of one them cinnamon suckers. I steal a glance out the corner of my eye, but she never looks my way.
I shut the radio off. “I’m fuckin’ talking to you.”
I’m met with more silence. Then she cranks the radio up as loud as it’ll go. Stubborn fucking brat. I swerve off the road and turn down a dirt road, stopping only when we get out of view from passing traffic. I shut the truck off and go to the passenger side. When I put my hand on the handle, I hear the lock engage.
“Open the door.”
Alexa shakes her head.
“We don’t have time for your petty ass bullshit. Alexa.” I slap the door and she flinches. “Open the God damned door now.” She continues to defy me, shooting me this prissy assed expression that has me wanting to bend her over my damn knee and spank that attitude right out of her. I remember I have the damn keys in my hand, and I get the door unlocked easily enough. When I open her side, she scrambles to crawl across the seat, but I’m faster, and when I get hold of her, she goes rigid like a damn statue.
“We’re settling this shit right now.” I grab her throat and press her back in the seat. “You think this is easy. For the first time in years I’ve found something I want, and I gotta give it up. Because I’m not right for you.”
We both know this won’t lead anywhere good. Her gaze meets mine, and it’s so damn cold I’d swear she’s dead if it weren’t for the erratic breaths leaving her parted lips. Her tongue darts out to wet her mouth and I lose it. “When I look into your eyes and see that fire gone, Lexi...fuck, baby. Damn near kills me.” I bring my mouth down on hers, thrusting my tongue deep between those sweet cinnamon flavored lips needing her to know I care more than she knows.
Alexa moans into my mouth and the sound travels to my dick. Her hand goes to the back of my neck and she kisses me like it’s goodbye and maybe it is. Even though I need to be back in West Virginia, I take my time, savoring this moment. This last piece of heaven I’ll ever taste.
Sliding my hand from her throat to her jaw, I break away and hold her gaze. “I see you, pretty girl, but I can’t keep you as bad as I want to.”
Her forehead drops to mine. Her cinnamon breath fanning over my lips. “I hear you.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she whispers with a slight nod.
“Would give you the world if I could.” I kiss her once more, having a hard time doing what I know I gotta.
Alexa breaks away. “I don’t want the world. I only wanna live in yours.” Her words punch me straight in the damn gut and suck all the wind right outta me.
“Would if I could. Give you it all.” I drop my hand and peer into her eyes seeing the flecks of color brighter than before. “You gonna stop being a brat?”
“I think we both know that’ll never happen.”
“Right. You good?”
“No, but I will be.”
“Most girls your age don’t even know who they are, but not you. You’re a cut above the re
st.”
“I’m no one special. No one at all, but you treat me like I’m somebody.”
I climb back in the driver’s seat and drive back to Lily’s Hope.
“I’m glad you came back.” Anna welcomes Alexa with open arms. “We’re about to start on lunch, you can give us a hand in the kitchen.”
“Later, pretty girl.” I shoot her a wink as Anna steers her inside with her bag slung over her shoulder. It’s better this way.
The second the door shuts behind them Lily is up in my face. “What are you doing with this girl, James? How old is she?”
“Don’t worry about it. I got it handled.”
“That’s what you said when I got into trouble and look where it got you.”
“Shit is different now. Don’t worry.”
“What about Ruthie and Ro?”
“Let me worry about it. Just look after Alexa for me. She doesn’t leave and no one is to know she’s here.”
“I don’t like this. The way she looks at you...you’re fucking her.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Just promise me that you won’t do anything stupid.”
“Promise,” I lie. It’s too little too late. I’ve already fucked up more times than I can’t count. I’m already going to hell, and I’ll gladly burn for the night I shared with Alexa. I know I’m a dirty bastard for what I’ve done, but I’ve only just begun. The body count is about to get a lot higher. I made a promise to Alexa, and I won’t let her down. Todd is going to pay.
“Love you, James.” Lily wraps an arm around me, and I kiss her temple.
“You worry too damn much.” I run my finger along the scar on her left cheek. Yeah, I’d kill that fuck and serve my time all over again for the shit he did to my sister. You wouldn’t know the shit she’s been through just by looking at her. The sick fuck nearly killed her. Beat her so damn bad it’s a miracle she’s here today.
Tempting The Biker (Royal Bastards MC: Charleston, WV Book 3) Page 6
